people at work: wow, you are always in such a good mood, how do you do that?
me, an actually cranky, apathetic, trainwreck human: it’s called manners, susan.
DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
NASA

if i look back, i am lost
wallacepolsom
Sade Olutola

pixel skylines

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$LAYYYTER

@theartofmadeline
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

Love Begins

izzy's playlists!

⁂
Jules of Nature
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
will byers stan first human second
Game of Thrones Daily

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@cookieswithnemo
people at work: wow, you are always in such a good mood, how do you do that?
me, an actually cranky, apathetic, trainwreck human: it’s called manners, susan.
as a procrastinating overachiever i feel like i don’t necessarily “half-ass” things, it’s more like a “3/4 ass”. like overall did i do pretty well? yeah. did i reach my maximum potential though? i think the fuck Not.
House intruders (don’t call the police)
By: Vincent Bal Instagram: @artwoonz
I love different.
This is different, and simple, and for some reason it just made my day.
A very curious octopus.
Watch this and be blessed
“Why he smoosh my head??? Wait smoosh my head again.”
cats are so fake like they’re theoretically related to apex predators and yet they weigh 8 pounds, sleep 20 hours a day, and scream if you feed them half an hour later than usual
I deeply sympathize because I also like to sleep an unreasonable amount and yell when hungry.
incidentally, you are also an apex predator
apex predators are over-hyped, we’re all just tired and whiny.
Reblog if you, too, are tired and whiny.
characters who crave affection but at the same time have no idea how to respond to actually receiving it due to the fact theyve rarely ever experienced it are my absolute favourite
characters? bitch this is me
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”
One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”
I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.
lmao bye
#aesthetic
I’m still severely depressed & full of anxiety....
This is actually pretty positive and inspiring. <3
This post is everything to me
Yes!
#Christmas2015 (at Bacara Resort & Spa)
Christmas Yule Log (at Bacara Resort & Spa)
*whispers* catpuccino
OMG I THOUGHT THEY WERE LEAVES
CatPURRccino
the time of year
Walter White did a better job of getting rid of drug dealers than Hank.