When I was younger, like 6-8 my older brother (4 years older) used to get me to do sexual stuff with him by bribing me, like he knew I wanted to sleep in his room or have some of his candy or get one of my stuffed animals back, and he would have me play with his dick or give him a blowjob or play with my parts in order for me to earn it. At the time I didn't really see anything wrong with what was happening but now I'm 17 and the more I look back the more sick I feel about it, what should I do?
TW: Sexual abuse, Child abuse, Child sexual abuse, Rape, Incest
Here are several links about child-on-child sexual abuse.
Here are several links about adulthood after child sexual abuse.
Here are some signs to be aware of:
Pre-school children (0-5) years commonly:
Use childish ‘sexual’ language to talk about body parts
Ask how babies are made and where they come from
Touch or rub their own genitals
Show and look at private parts
Discuss sexual acts or use sexually explicit language
Have physical sexual contact with other children
Show adult-like sexual behaviour or knowledge
School-age children (6-12 years) commonly:
Ask questions about menstruation, pregnancy and other sexual behaviour
Experiment with other children, often during games, kissing, touching, showing and role playing e.g. mums and dads or doctors and nurses
Show adult like sexual behaviour or knowledge
Ask questions about relationships and sexual behaviour
Use sexual language and talk between themselves about sexual acts
Experiment sexually with adolescents of similar age
NB. About one-third of adolescents have sexual intercourse before the age of 16.
Have sexual contact with much younger children of adults
Here are some questions to ask if you have any concerns about a child or teen you know:
Do you know a child or adolescent who:
Seeks out the company of younger children and spends an unusual amount of time in their company?
Takes younger children to ‘secret’ places or hideaways or plays ‘special’ games with them (e.g. doctor and patient, removing clothing etc) especially games unusual to their age?
Insists on hugging or kissing a child when the child does not want to?
Tells you they do not want to be alone with a child or becomes anxious when a particular child comes to visit?
Frequently uses aggressive or sexual language about adults or children?
Shows sexual material to younger children?
Makes sexually abusive telephone calls?
Shares alcohol or drugs with younger children or teens?
Views child pornography on the internet or elsewhere?
Exposes his or her genitals to younger children?
Forces sex on another adolescent or child?
Child Sexual Abuse includes harmful contact and non-contact behaviors includes:
Abusive physical contact or touching includes:
Touching a child’s genitals or private parts for sexual purposes
Making a child touch someone else’s genitals or play sexual games
Putting objects or body parts (like fingers, tongue or penis) inside the vagina, in the mouth or in the anus of a child for sexual purposes
Non-contact sexual abuse includes:
Showing pornography to a child
Deliberately exposing an adult’s genitals to a child
Photographing a child in sexual poses
Encouraging a child to watch or hear sexual acts
Inappropriately watching a child undress or use the bathroom
Sexually abusive images of children and the Internet
As well as the activities described above, there is also the serious and growing problem of people making and downloading sexual images of children on the Internet. To view sexually abusive images of children is to participate in the abuse of a child, and may cause someone to consider sexual interactions with children as acceptable.
What You Can Do If You See Warning Signs
Create a Safety Plan. Don’t wait for “proof” of child sexual abuse.
Look for patterns of behavior that make children less safe. Keep track of behaviors that concern you. This Sample Journal Page can be a helpful tool.
See our Let’s Talk Guidebook for tips on speaking up whenever you have a concern.
If you have questions or would like resources or guidance for responding to a specific situation, call or email our Helpline or visit our Online Help Center.
Remember, the most effective prevention takes place before there’s a child victim to heal or an offender to punish.
Here are some important statistics to know.
Click on the steps below to learn more about how you can help stop child abuse and neglect.
Step 1: Evaluate Situations for Child Abuse
Step 2: Report Child Abuse
Step 3: Understanding Child Abuse Laws
Step 4: Help Prevent Child Abuse
Here is what RAINN has to say:
Incest is sexual contact between persons who are so closely related that their marriage is illegal (e.g., parents and children, uncles/aunts and nieces/nephews, etc.). This usually takes the form of an older family member sexually abusing a child or adolescent.
Laws vary from place to place regarding what constitutes incest, child sexual abuse, sexual assault, and rape.
There are very few reliable statistics about how often incest occurs. It’s difficult to know how many people are affected by incest because many incest situations never get reported. There are many reasons that the victim might not report the abuse.
The victim has been told that what is happening is normal or happens in every family, and doesn’t realize that it is a form of abuse
The victim may not know that help is available or who they can talk to
The victim may be afraid of what will happen if they tell someone
The abuser may have threatened the victim
The victim may care about the abuser and be afraid of what will happen to the abuser if they tell
The victim may be afraid of what will happen to them if they tell
The victim may also be concerned about how many people will react when they hear about the abuse
They may be afraid that no one will believe them or that the person they confide in will tell the abuser
The victim may be afraid that people will accuse them of having done something wrong
What makes Incest different than child sexual abuse?
All forms of child sexual abuse can have negative long-term effects for the victim. You can read about some of those effects here.Incest is especially damaging because it disrupts the child’s primary support system, the family.
When a child is abused by someone outside the family, the child’s family is often able to offer support and a sense of safety.
When the abuser is someone in the family, the family may not be able to provide support or a sense of safety. Since the children (especially younger children) often have limited resources outside the family, it can be very hard for them to recover from incest
Incest can damage a child’s ability to trust, since the people who were supposed to protect and care for them have abused them.
Survivors of incest sometimes have difficulty developing trusting relationships
It can also be very damaging for a child if a non-abusing parent is aware of the abuse and chooses—for whatever reason—not to take action to stop it.
There are many reasons that a non-abusing parent might not stop the abuse.
The non-abusing parent may feel that they are dependent on the abuser for shelter or income.
If the non-abusing parent was the victim of incest as a child, they may think that this is normal for families.
The non-abusing parent may feel that allowing the incest to continue is the only way to keep their partner.
The non-abusing parent may feel that their child was “asking for it” by behaving in ways that the parent perceives as provocative or seductive.
Unfortunately, many non-abusing parents are aware of the incest and choose not to get their child out of the situation, or worse, to blame their child for what has happened. This makes the long-term effects of incest worse.
What should I do if I am a victim of incest?
First, know that this is not your fault! No one deserves to be abused.Get some help. You do not have to handle this on your own!
If you can’t talk to a parent, can you talk to…?
Your minister (or pastor, priest, rabbi, imam, etc.)?
If you do not have any trusted adults in your life, you can also call Child Protective Services (CPS) for your area. (Even if you are over 18, CPS may still be able to offer assistance.)
You can find the number for CPS in RAINN’s mandatory reporting database.Information is listed by state.
You can also find the number for Child Protective Services in the Blue Pages of your phone book.
Your local police department can also help you contact CPS.
Be prepared. Not every adult, even trusted adults, are able to help. You may need to tell more than one person before you find someone who can help.
If you need some help thinking through these options, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline any time at (800) 656-HOPE or contact the Online Hotline at http://www.rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline
Remember that no one deserves to be abused! Help is available.
Here is how you can report a rape. (Entirely your choice.)
And here are our coping skills:
is a resource that deals with a wide range of abuse, rape, and assault issues. Though they are not doctors, their information is helpful, responsible, and non-judgmental.
What not to say to a survivor of assault
More Tips for Friends and Family of Rape and Sexual Violence Survivors
: Support for sexual assault victims; A safe, anonymous way to learn how to get help after a sexual assault; Information and resources to educate the public about rape and sexual assault; Special sections for college students and teens; Information about forensic evidence in sexual assault cases
RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization
is to support, empower, validate, and educate survivors of rape, sexual abuse and all types of sexual violence by providing a safe, extensive, reliable and easy-to-read website where victims can find the answers and support they need to heal and reclaim their lives.
Coping with rape and sexual assault
Rape of any kind is never the victim’s fault. And there are plenty of ways to get the help you need and deserve. I hope this helps you. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to help.
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