Bunny's Bi-Weekly Fantastic Fic Recs 05-11-2026 ASTARION
Here we are at last with the Astarion fic recs!
The first is from anon:
The Melancholy Bard by AndromedaAncunin https://archiveofourown.org/works/64134895/chapters/164567494
The second is a self-rec by @chaushaus
An Astarion POV fic called Back on the Bus https://archiveofourown.org/works/74158696/chapters/193503386 Rated M. Complete. 20,813 words over 5 chapters. Major tw tags: domestic violence, depression, sexual harrassment There is graphic description of violence and the results of said violence. Main ship: Astarion/Wyll
It's a modern AU fic, where all the tadfools are human.
Astarion's just a vampire (phlebometist) trying to make ends meet after his shitty ex-husband (Cazador) took everything in the divorce, including his self-worth. His boss (Araj Oblodra) is a bitch who doesn't want to take no for an answer. When he looks in the mirror, all he sees is a washed-up husk of a man who used to have everything.
His work bestie (Karlach) is trying her best, along with her girlfriend (Shadowheart), but he seems determined to circle the drain. Until their regular donor (Wyll) shows up. Together, with a little help from their friends, they find a happily ever after. Or at least, for now.
Another from anon:
Hi! I have a submission for Astarion fic recs, it’s by @chaushaus
“The Dead Three and their Chosen have hatched a plot, Illithids are invading the Sword Coast, and Gods and Devils alike swarm to take advantage of the chaos for their own purposes, moving their pawns on the grand lanceboard of souls to face each other.
When 47-year old middle school math teacher and veteran army medic Nora Feyre makes a tiny mistake, she doesn't know she's upended the playing field, setting off a plan laid down by a father she's never known.
Infected with an alien parasite in a Tolkien-esque world, it's going to take every single skill she has to rally her fellow survivors into a team that can survive long enough to find a cure. Especially the vampire, who seems custom-made to be her worst nightmare.
It was a good thing she never left home unarmed.”
Warnings: NSFW/Rated Explicit on AO3, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Astarion’s past abuse, Claustrophobia, body horror, Christianity themes and concepts, medical injury, gun violence, dissociation, implied/referenced child abuse, fantasy and fictional setting racism, blood and gore, sex work, PTSD, pregnancy, menstruation, birth control, whump, slut shaming, discussion of suicide, intimate partner violence, cheating (kind of?)
Why I recommend this fic: Chaus is really good at writing a believably traumatized and sleazy Act One Astarion…which is my favorite Astarion.
Also her prose blows my mind.
I've got two from @castimirr
https://archiveofourown.org/works/74881171/chapters/195622591
A Decadent Discourse by @chaushaus A correspondence between Ascendant Astarion living on Earth and Lord Byron. This is the second work in this collection. It’s a delight to read. The author weaves historical detail with fiction in very satisfying ways.
Both the precursor You Can't Spell Coquette Without a Coq (https://archiveofourown.org/works/69044101) and the in-progress follow up Twelve Days of Debauchery (https://archiveofourown.org/works/75847776/chapters/198405186) are well worth reading. They’re a very interesting character study with a lot of fun smut.
In terms of warnings, obviously these involve historical figures. It’s also Ascendant Astarion. The fics are heavily tagged with warnings, but Extremely Dubious Consent, torture, knife play, some era-specific sexism, and a wide range of explicit sexual acts are probably the most relevant.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Toddler Fight Club by @chaushaus
Inspired by a meme with the headline 3 Delaware Daycare Workers Accused of Running Toddler Fight Club, replacing the mugshots with Lae'zel, Astarion, and Minthara. This is a lighthearted crack fic played straight that I keep finding myself referencing because it's so ridiculous but believable.
From @zombrigit
I'd like to rec @chaushaus's Twelve Days of Debauchery (as well as the entire What We Lost in the Shadows series, of which this is a bit of a prequel) It's a very spicy regency era relationship between Astarion and Lord George Byron in the 1800s warnings for canon typical dark Ascendant Astarion things (he might brutally torture and mutilate a guy, but most of the fic is about him banging Lord Byron's brains out)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/75847776
From myself
Self rec of my own fic Fangs and Fairytales:
Only warning are some explicit scenes.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/57234823/chapters/145583956
From @vixstarria Bloodbang Chronicles - Vix's magic combination of wit and compelling characters make this among my top fics to read.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54719992/chapters/138680251
From @mj-bites Trickery and Daggers - MJ is taking me along as the mystery of her Tav, Morgana unfolds alongside the story of BG3. Her gift for deep lore keeps me coming back to this story.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/53702539/chapters/135944263
