Don't look back, it'll all catch up with you.

Im a loud mess of vulgarity and puns and burritos

[charmingyetslightlydouchey]

There’s nothing wrong with being a little thick ✨

[magvacska]

[vonkleinenstein-deactivated2012]

[puppybai-deactivated20251107]

okay

[buttman-rises-deactivated201503]

activate jesus vision

[kingofthebees]

jesus vision

[theeverydaygoth]

[foreveralone-lyguy]

what if tumblr posts were scratch-and-sniff

[celiastumbler]

this one smells like failure 

[foreveralone-lyguy]

YO YOU WANNA GO

[maddogwithablog]

[mydemisee]

Me right now.

[do-we-still-exist-deactivated20]

[booglemoth]

ME RIGHT NOW

[kittiezandtittiez]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

i feel like this is older than me

[oldlaughinbro]

[wizcoylifa]

fifty shades (thats it. thats the whole joke. im wearing 50 pairs of sunglasses right now this is comedy gold people)

[hallandoates1970topresent-deact]

"ya but how many chainz" i holler from the back of the crowd. suddenly its my show and your girlfriend is on my arm now. shes also a man and your gay

[mystraknits-deactivated20160402]

This is the first time I’ve ever seen an archer in a film run out of arrows or collect used arrows to reuse later.

Accuracy: You’re doing it right.

[sarcasm-incorporated]

accuracy? this is a movie about a small band of fantabulous people with random superpowers who defeat an alien invasion led by a guy with golden goat horns and you’re worried about accuracy?

[mystraknits-deactivated20160402]

firstly: tony, nat, and clint do not have superpowers, they rely on their skills to survive

secondly: thor is not human, other than the use of his hammer, he is relying on the natural strength and fighting abilities of his people

thirdly: bruce and steve were both perfectly ordinary until science got involved

lastly: what supervillain doesn’t have at least one questionable fashion decision?

accuracy matters

[derezzcartes]

i’m gonna cry omg

[plants4]

idk how id survive without water <3

[funaynay-or-nay]

You wouldnt

[plants4]

haha. i feel like that sometimes too. glad someone loves water as much as i do :)

[selbink-deactivated20150221]

I cant believe justin bieber poisoned our water supply, burned our crops, and delivered a plague unto our houses

[dragulationcomplete]

He did?!

[starqueen-kari]

No, but are we gonna wait around until he does!?

[frothyfrothy-loins]

[queen-howard-deactivated2017021]

[scotty-bear]

this made my night 

[laughinacorner]

[tanegledinthegreatescape-deacti]

Twinkle twinkle little slut Name a guy you haven’t fucked. Was he skinny? Was he tall? Nevermind you did them all. Twinkle twinkle little bitch Close your legs it smells like fish.

[sushinfood]

Twinkle twinkle little shit Try to think of this a bit: Does it affect You at all Who has sex or none at all? No it doesn’t, little shit, Shut your fucking mouth you twit.

[hitmeupscotty]

[corn-hole]

twinkle twinkle both of you

i dont even have a clue

what is sex? is it new?

does it involve smelly poo?! 

oh my god im terrified!

but more excited to try!

[perfectpeach]

[dirteye-deactivated20131220]

Adam is too real

[methhomework-deactivated2014032]

when you get your blanket out of the dryer

[wakeup-dontsmoke]

is that gay porn

[kimjongundead]

no it’s somebody after they get their blanket out of the dryer