cornmug

"with so many things to hate in this world, why would I choose myself?" she/they // bi // 18+

[cornmug]

sierra < -- -- -- that's me for now ^_^

[tabloidsores]

Two dudes in my group chat have been playing league & slowly but surely have shifted from saying "wanna play league of legends" to "wanna play some geego legends". At this point their average post is just @ing the other and going "geegogagand?" and I feel insane

[herowyn]

5 0    Y E A R S    A G O

[closetocanada]

Happy Moon Landing Day! ❤️👩‍🚀🌛

[lesbx]

oh christ

[prokopetz]

There are people who have kinks involving glasses and there are people who have kinks involving compression stockings, so by the Rule of Three there must be someone out there who gets hard for RSI wrist braces to complete the "aroused by assistive devices popularly associated with nerds" trifecta.

[rlyehtaxidermist]

they carpal on my tunnel til i acute burning sensation

[prokopetz]

Person whose biggest fantasy is getting a handjob from someone who has a special wrist brace specifically for jerking cock because you need a different kind of support to wank someone off than you do for data entry.

[pitbush]

whiplash is one of the greatest pornographies of all time

[pitbush]

it has homophobia, grooming AND jazz

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[yaoiblackmold]

Every vampire is all "oh drinking blood is better than any food, drugs, even sex" but I don't even believe them because all of them were literally made before the invention of really good drugs and before we got all the nice foods from the new world, so I don't trust any of their opinions. Lestat has never ate a potato and Armand hasn't ever even tasted tomaotes. The only guy I trust is Daniel Molloy who has probably tried every drug on earth, has definitely ate nice food and would be a valid judge on how good drinking blood really is.

[oneheadtoanother]

[fladurblegon]

“What if poor people abuse the system?”

The system intrinsically abuses poor people.

Hope this helps.

[breninarthur]

"What if poor people abuse the system?"

Rich people abuse the system far more and out of pure greed, not necessity or desperation so idrc about that

[fake-guns-blazing]

been getting really into what i call "dessertslop" lately which involves finding and making stupid nonsense recipes instead of just eating normal dessert foods. today i mixed a package of instant pudding mix into a tub of off brand cool whip to create some mildly pleasant chocolate fluffy bullshit. some normal ass chocolate ice cream would have been better but that's not how i roll

[grimeclown]

I got a job at a gas station across from a casino and a guy keeps coming in to buy whole cartons of cigarettes and talks in the third person calling himself "snake eyes pete" and every time I tell him his total hes like "tell ya what if old Pete rolls a snake eyes why dont you give it to him for free?" and he rolls the same set of loaded dice on the counter and it does not matter how many times he rolls snake eyes I will not give him the cartons for free he gets so mad

[brenatto-apothecary]

if magic was real I'd get really into wizardry long enough to learn like 3 spells then move on and 4 years later id be like oh yeah I remember how to summon flame. probably. and then id do all the hand motions out of order and explode

[cikero]

did anyone else see that seal that just ended up on the street in connecticut

[cikero]

[bonyassfish]

No place for a little seal

[fake-guns-blazing]

could they not have called it anything else

[fake-guns-blazing]

duran duran the penis interview 1986

[what-even-is-thiss]

I’ve discovered that spawning in a cherry blossom biome in Minecraft will leave you with so many pink flower based ground litter bits that you’ll be struggling to figure out what to do with them. My current plan is to breed a very large army of white sheep and individually dye them all pink but that’s only a band aid solution really.

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

imagine you had a friend who constantly made jokes at the expense of something you loved. they're never funny, but they seem to expect you to laugh even though the punchline is just, "this thing you love sucks ass". it's not even really a joke, there's nothing funny about it, you can tell that they genuinely actually believe it. but they insist it's just a joke!

no matter what the situation is, they're always bringing the social interaction to a screeching halt with these jokes. nobody ever wants to participate in this joke with them. nobody agrees with the premise. nobody ever knows what to say afterwards, it's just an awkward moment and a subject change. but they just keep doing it.

you have to stop with the self-deprecatory "humor", it's not fun for anyone including you.

[doyoulovethewayzeylily]

#actual advice: switch to self-aggrandizing humor #have the biggest ego in the world even if it's fake #does wonders

as the smartest and most beautiful woman in the world, I can confirm this