Its Daniel and my 5th anniversary today and brain cant shut up about the horrible podcast man, I’m sorry Dan babygirl you deserve so much better than my stupid ass
Love how none of my selfinserts make sense. This time as a person who likes to work in libraries and has been recommended to work in an archive and is likely to get an internship in an archive, what do I make my selfinsert in media that is about AN ARCHIVE??
Sooo uhhh... if I had some complex feelings about a new fictional man and wanted to discuss it here uhhh is there anyone left? I cannot talk about this with anyone else in my life I am getting desperate
Ok so I’m crawling out of the woodworks for the (hopefully) last time to give a little shoutout because as some of you might have heard that R/utger H/auer has died a few days ago and I just wanted to leave a few words to him here.
I only ever heard of this guy because Dan was voiced by him and shares his appearance, I looked up many of the movies he starred in since and I loved his work. Now I cant say he had a long-lasting presence in my life but he impacted me with Daniel. Yes I know most of the character writing is done by the devs but still he gave that amazing cyberpunk detective a spark of life that just makes him unique and so real.
What I want to say is that he’s a big part of the one character that saved me from an early death countless times, gave me hope and is still very important and precious to me to this day and hopefully for a long time.
Soo, I haven’t posted in a while now because of mental issues and now I’ve finally decided that I’m abandoning this blog for good.
I won’t delete it and I dont know if I will ever come back but for now this is it. If anyone wants to know why I’ll put it under a read more
Let me just say one thing: I’m not leaving because I don’t love Dan anymore, quite the opposite actually, my dumb heart is going strong and I’m already excited for our anniversary this year!
The thing is for one that I once thought this community was the safest space there is with people supporting each other and their f/o but then I started hearing about discourse that no one wanted to talk about, adults with underage f/os started popping up, there were homophobic selfshippers, discourse whether or not it was ok to love villain characters, callout posts where you don’t know if they even fact-checked before writing it. All in all it derailed like pretty much every community on this site that I know. :/
I mean all that aside there are still a lot of good people in this community that I loved talking to and if you are reading this you are most likely one of those people and I would die for you! But with those friendships, like with any relationship in my life, no matter how much I talk to someone I always feel sorta disconnected, like I’m only faintly familiar with them no matter what. TL;DR I feel like I can’t have a meaningful friendship with anyone and that’s most likely got to do with my Autism. So because of that I could never talk to people, I lurked in discords, I never sent asks to anyone in fear of being annoying, I took days to write a single letter in the event, I even stopped reblogging art when I couldn’t think of any original commentary to add in the tags.
Soon I dreaded every single event coming up, I felt too drained to send asks on takeovers, I was too anxious and uninformed to write letters on “ToMyS/I” and then I started unfollowing blogs on a week where I thought I would end it all anyways so if you are a mutual I unfollowed, it’s not because of you!
I thought about finally becoming more active and sharing all the aus, headcanons, art, shitposts, etc that have been floating around in my head but I know I can’t type any of it out in a comprehensible way and my interests are so niche that maybe 5 people would care.
Basically, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a better friend to anyone, that I didn’t give artists/writers/etc the attention they deserved, that I asked for much and gave so little, that I promised some people art and never made it, that I am so whiny and pathetic on this blog even until now,that I constantly ask for attention and then shy away as soon as I get any. I’m just.....so sorry
Anyways if you got this far, I hope you have a good life, bye.
A quick question to anyone/everyone in the community:
How big of a secret is your self shipping to people irl? Do you wear it on your sleeve or do you try and keep it to yourself? How difficult is it for you?
The legendary on-again off-again kissing scene between Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman was designed to skirt the Hayes Code that restricted kisses to no more than three seconds each.
can you look me in the eyes and tell me there’s anything better than thinking about comforting your f/o when they’re crying? sharing a silent moment with their face in your hands, gently wiping away their tears with your thumbs, them ducking their head down to kiss your fingertips and palms in an unspoken ‘thank you’? kissing their eyelids? guiding their face into the crook of your neck or against your chest, mindlessly carding your fingers through their hair or rubbing their back? feeling them melt into you, sighing against your skin in relief, grabbing your shirt, your waist, whatever they can to make sure you don’t go anywhere and that you stay close? no. you can’t. god tier.
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