Docktor's Office

| Call me Corpse/Darren | He/It |

[sylestial]

*meows loud as fuck to no avail*

[wodeworm]

Debt collector

[corpsecomplex]

commander gave a rousing speech to the jacking off army that really touched the privates

[the-laws-of-physics-were-harmed]

In a better world 'there is no platonic explanation for this' would be used to indicate that a character is aplatonic-coded

[lavenderprose]

I love how some fics are called shit like "They Only Shoot The Birds Who Cannot Sing" and it's like the most insane porn you're ever read and then some fics are called Spit On Me and it's 18,000 words of the most achingly id-scratching prose you've ever read and they're both. They're both so fucking good. thank God for fanfiction.

[for-the-evulz]

the tick 1994 season 1 episode 7 the tick vs the tick

[genderfluid-and-confuzled]

not smoking that shit because I already got the blunt from the autism

[touhouweed]

just saw someone call trans unity an "unobtainable fantasy," getting real sick of the doomerisms yall are hooked on these days

[ranni-thewitch]

divert all power to the funk engine

[dragon-in-a-fez]

what is happening. is it because the fish is naked

[therapatical]

"trans men aren't seen as dangerous or predatory or--" have you ever spoken to a trans man of color in your life yes or no

[sm64mario]

the ask box is open for one ask make it'a count

[sm64mario]

ohhhh i'a start crying and'a sniffling and'a you'a make mario so happyy!!!! ohhh mamma mia you'a so kind to mario

[crplpunkklavier]

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

[saltoncity]

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

been playing a video game with my housemates lately and the other night I was trying to persuade my boyfriend in law to join me in hunting for the current boss in an underwater temple map and I truly got like. possessed. started out going "come on brother... it's all fine in the brine... we're all set in the wet..." and ended up saying shit like "nobody's frantic in the Atlantic... it's always mail call at the whale fall..." truly incomprehensible

[bobdylanyaoi]

“Subverting” Catholic art? Oh, okay. I see, you think this has nothing to do with you. You log onto the internet and you post about how “Wound of Christ” from Psalter and Prayer Book of Bonne de Luxembourg, attributed to Jean le Noir, c.1349, for instance, looks like a vulva because you're trying to tell the world that you enjoy Catholic art and imagery in an alternative, queer, risqué way that challenges Christian beliefs. But what you don't know is that that stigma isn’t just a vulva. It's not just a mandorla. It's not just yonic. It's actually intentionally erotic. And you're also blithely unaware of the fact that around 1297, Saint Angela of Foligno experienced a vision of Christ himself, who called her to put her mouth to the wound in his side and lick the freshly flowing blood. And then I think it was Saint Catherine of Siena who drank blood and a clear liquid from the wound before receiving a ring made from Christ’s foreskin? And then graphically erotic encounters with the side wound of Christ quickly showed up in the writings of eight different mystics. And then the yonic interpretation of the stigmata filtered down through the illuminated manuscripts and then trickled on down into some pseudo-intellectual corner of the internet…where you, no doubt, fished it out of some Pinterest board. However, that interpretation represents hundreds of years and countless visions of religious ecstasy. And it's sort of comical how you think that you've come up with an idea that exempts you from Christian theology when, in fact…you're posting an image that was sexualized for you by the very Medieval saints you think you’re so different than…from “subverted” Catholic art.

[rexuality]

i have a story for you, tumblr. last year my coworkers and I were riding in a golf cart at a music festival passing out drinks to people, because the festival had been cancelled that day and everyone was trying to make the best of a bad situation. after some time we spot a guy on the other side of the road dressed as lord farquaad, walking alone. we yell, “LORD FARQUAAD! DO YOU WANT A DRINK??” dude yells an affirmative, walks into the road without looking, gets hit by a fucking car, and goes flying.

I really need you to picture a lord farquaad being dummy yeeted into the air by an incoming vehicle while a golf cart of inebriated, glitter and mud plastered coworkers are full-on horror movie screaming together. before we can even process this, lord farquaad gets up like 🤪 how bout that drink?? completely okay, utterly unphased, red hat and bob wig still locked the fuck in. we check on him several times, all talking over each other, and while he’s calmly and pleasantly assuring us he’s fine, he passes each one of us a tiny jesus figurine. he bestows a “god bless you all” and then resumes his jaunt, drink in hand.

after that we drove in total relieved hysterics, the kinda laughter that only happens when you narrowly avoided catastrophe. and i have NO idea if the driver that hit him even said a word because my entire consciousness in that moment was farquaad, there was only farquaad. I hope that he reads this one day and knows that he is STILL talked about and regarded as some sort of festival cryptid. we are blessed indeed