sparkly, but in like a goth way. @corset-combat - Tumblr Blog

peachsnout-deactivated20190614

its no longer labor day you cant reblog the todaybor day post anymore

catwithbenefits

homebeccer

heathyr

i’m just. very frustrated as an adult on a 17+ app being treated like i’m a little baby who can’t handle adult content or curate my own experience. it’s fucking stupid

heathyr

alleycatboy

rats can drive cars btw. if u even care

alleycatboy

fun fact: the lab rats got into the cars and drove on their own free time, even without any treat or reward being offered

alleycatboy

fun fact #2: the scientists actually found that the rats stress levels were lowered while driving, implying that rats find cars therapeutic

derinthescarletpescatarian

I love the whole branch of cognitive experimentation that just amounts to “we taught rats a fun new game and they really liked it”

oneheadtoanother

astraldemise

one time in my last job a woman came up to the register explaining that when she bought stuff a day prior the clerk forgot to scan a pair of socks worth less than €2 and it was only right for her to bring it back to the store and pay for it proper. unfortunately my manager was directly next to me at the time and took over the register to handle this serious issue. the receipt she had brought with her said which register performed the previous transaction that forgot the socks and the manager could find out who was running that till on that day. poor dude had a manager yell at him for a half hour about how much of an incompetent fuck up he was, he left the job immediately after but i couldnt tell you if he quit or was fired

i think about this moment a lot. the customer seemed like a sweet woman with only good intentions and when she paid for the socks she had a look on her face that said "i feel good because i did the right thing". and a guy lost his job because of a pair of socks. if shit like this ever happens to you and a clerk forgets to scan an item just think of it as a small blessing or that you had good luck or something. keep it.

loufofbread

kitten

loufofbread

man. what on earth.

loufofbread

ok i flipped it. sorry

hedgehog-moss

I didn’t realise this until adulthood but handmade birthday piñatas are the apex of parental devotion. I spent the week cooking for my ravenous teenage cousins and felt a bit crestfallen at times that I was spending so long making something that was going to disappear within minutes—but with piñatas it’s so much worse, they exist to be savagely maimed. Year after year my father asked his kids what shape they wanted this year’s piñatas to be and he spent weeks painstakingly making them in the basement after work, only to watch a bunch of oversugared bat-wielding kids gleefully destroy them in less than 10 minutes.

I mentioned this to him and he said he remembered researching tarantula anatomy for the giant spider piñata I asked for when I was 4, trying to make the fangs the right shape and to cut the crepe paper into very thin ribbons so the thing would look appropriately fuzzy, and I was like “and I don’t even remember it because I was four!! spending so long building a beautiful object only so your kids will have fun destroying it, knowing they won’t even remember it, is such a selfless endeavour” and he said “my other motivation was that you said you wanted the spider to look real & scary so the kids at your birthday party would be terrified of it and you’d get to scoop up all the candy and I wanted to support your slyness & ambition”

civvic

Fuck. Those fuckers at the store sold me No Purpose Flour again. What the fuck do I do with this

civvic

you laugh. my flour is bereft of purpose and you mock me. hell upon you, fool

amygdalae

Hmm. Whatever *deactivates your baptism with my mind*

amygdalae

😔🙏

magicdyke

if i had a penis i would treat it so well i would take it for walks and give it a comfortable bed to sleep on and give it treats etc

genderoutlaws

why are you using he/him and still calling yourself a lesbian

to spite you, specifically,

cosmonautroger

theshitpostcalligrapher

one day.... one day i will have as much charisma as the average fat pigeon i show yall.....

i aspire....

oriocookie

obsessed with the way my robotics team lead talks

she’s reinventing hieroglyphics

mp-lily

She’s the only person who truly understands how emojis were meant to be used.

exposedbrain-deactivated2024061

wifegideonnav

@evilwomanenjoyer

sandersstudies

Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”

“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”

“NOOOOOOO!”

sandersstudies

When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.

sandersstudies

When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.

“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”

“NO! One two three!”

“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”

“Noooooo!”

sandersstudies

Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”