First weekend back to work after the long holiday break! Learning leather and loving it. Struggling with the neurospicy. Battling the elements with 18 degree lows in a tent. I am in a hotel now, but Saturday night SUCKED and I am still very much recovering physically. I miss my hair but I’m getting used to the cute natural root curls. It’s funny because all these years I thought the pink made my green eyes pop then I went natural for the first time in 16 years and I’m just. So this is me? And my eyes actually glow. I still miss the fun funky hairs though. I feel like I need piercings to make up for it? I’m embroiled in so many difficult and emotional things right now. I miss my mom. I’m making peace with Christmas morning likely being the last time I saw her alive. She was cheerful. She tried to say I love you back. There were very brief glimpses of her but lord were they brief. Hospice has been coming in a few days a week keeping track, but she stopped swallowing her pills a while ago. Food isn’t far behind. This has been the heaviest thing on my mind since I left. That and just this kinda crushing physical loneliness missing my husband and daughter. It’s been a rough week. I know I’ll adjust… lose myself in leatherwork and socializing. The weather will adjust and I’ll be out of the woods from the pain and I’ll be walking the dog in all kinds of parks and going to museums and going dancing. I’ll put my feet in the ocean soon. I’ll hug my daughter on her birthday and never let go. It’s a rough several months ahead going solo but I need it for my health and financially it’s important. Also spiritually it’s important. I’m learning all these new skills and crafts, from glass to leather to the nuances of living in the wild. I’m excited for coyote songs in Scarborough. I’m excited for a lot of things. And I’m grieving a lot of things. And it’s all very complicated and messy right now but I’m out here living it. (at Gainesville Flordia) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnf0bsDONZG/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
