Be yours, be my dear

G. Australia || Masterlist

[stinkykatie]

[ashstfu]

“they tried to kill each other” yes and? do you have a problem with true love

[heartemoij]

i have a disease that makes me like pink and heart shaped objects and it’s called being a fucking genius

[onedirectionforever]

when the interviewer said “screw bieber fever, i’ve got one direction infection” this was their exact faces

[quietasides]

xx

[ohevoyev]

what are the most cursed 1d images

1. liam and zayn trying to murder harry with a watermelon

2. the polyamorous advert 

3. they stand in judgment of you as you enter the afterlife

4. harry’s demonic possession 

5. niall waterskiing is terrifying

6. this

[bluebeetle]

i saw some comments on tiktok where people were talking bout how they found tumblr too hard to use and part of it being that there was no lack of dates so “what if you reblog or like something from five years ago?!” 

buddy… we have posts circulating still from 2011, its literally just how it is

[do-what-i-yoinky]

Being on tumblr for years like:

[writing-prompt-s]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[endreams-s]

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

[honeypressed]

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

[moonreflectioninthefragglepond]

A++ addition

[tetsuskitten]

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

[tigerliliesandcherryblossoms]

I LOVE THIS

[vmohlere]

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

[laziestofthedreamers]

I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It’d be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they’re a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it’s completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work.

Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it’s a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there’s something to the theory, but it’s all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author’s home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don’t seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that’s it. Most they do is leave for groceries.

So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he’ll FINALLY have proof.

[pamgkrthwrites]

Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. 

“You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer.”

Serial killer breaths in. “Look-”

[ladyhavilliard]

…perfect

[outerspacekake]

I don’t like actual murder mysteries, but this is perfect

[yourpotatotwiceremooved]

THE ORIGINAL POST HOW DID I GET SO LUCKY

[serpant-of-heaven-deactivated20]

Oh my god I would watch/read the hell out of this shit

[divinghoe-deactivated20181123]

Are you in a relationship or just having fun right now?

neither

[itagnola-deactivated20181222]

Are you straight?

don’t insult me

[catchmefucan-deactivated2022051]

Are you available?

No sold out

[butterflypeaflowertea]

trees are very 🥺 because sometimes i’ll stand under the shade of a tree and look up at it and it’ll sway its branches about in the wind and i’m like oh my God i’m alive and YOU’RE alive. we are alive together and made up of the same starry stuff and standing right next to each other in this moment on this earth. do u feel it when i reach out and press my hand to your trunk? can you hear me? i think you’re so neat. and then the sunlight filters through its leaves just so and that lovely green color leaves me dazzled. it’s just very nice to be an alive thing next to a different sort of alive thing

[chessys]

What does foreplay have to do with a girl being wet? Why is that a man's responsibility? It's their vagina.. We can't control that...

please don’t have sex

[equius]

Why do you even care about trans women? You're not even one of them.

[m3ws-moved-deactivated20240715]

love really just is *sharing blankets* *driving together in silence* *this song made me think of you* *i made them for you* *having the most fun just talking* *cold hands warm hearts* *i got home safe* *you said you needed one so i found one for you*

[bringmetothe-pilot]

No cops at Pride, just Elton John with his Gucci shirt and a knife

[pinballwizzer]

no cops just elton john with his elton john brass knuckes

[sjhamart]

happy pride, everyone

[mytalkingraccoon]

pov elton john finds you 

[littlekidsteve]

Fuck with elton john and you’re elton gone.

[dailynarnia]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[verformt]

whats ur filthiest fantasy?

That someone actually stays in my life and loves me unconditionally lmao