Disclaimer: Long text post reply. I am not claiming to speak on behalf of the Asexual/Grace/Demisexual (or any of the other Sexuality IDs) Community. This is just my response to comments like this regarding an informative comic I drew two months ago about demisexuality.
First off, I rarely or never engage in replying to comments or reblogs. And I actually don’t get a lot of time to comb through and read through the comments, but I happened to tonight and while so many people who wrote comments/reblogs were 95% very nice and positive and it’s been really pleasantly overwhelming to find people relating to it and discovering something for themselves that they possibly belong in, the other 5% are special gems like these.
I also want to note that in my research prior to making my comic so it was informative as possible, I did not find information on “allosexuality” being the term most commonly in the asexual community to refer to someone who is not asexual. Someone who is allosexual is someone who experiences sexual attraction. I was nicely informed of this from who people in the community happy to let me know and understand I did my best to be as informative as possible.
For the person who mentioned (condescendingly, I might add) that they were surprised in my research that I did not find “demisexuality” was founded within an RPG forum, I want to say I could not find any legitimate resources except for claims and also: why does it matter as long as there seems to be a strong community of people who actually relate to it? It means something to them, and at a certain point, who are you to demonize them for appreciating a label that they feel represents them and how they feel?
And for this person above, one, it appears you used the term “allosexual” incorrectly? I feel like you clearly didn’t read anything I wrote or what anyone else has possibly written on the topic. You seem to be projecting thoughts that I never even wrote, especially concerning gays/bisexuals. It’s people like you and those who have similar misinformed thoughts behind why other people feel uncomfortable sharing this side of themselves with the world. Some people don’t need the label and some people do, and despite it all, their feelings are still valid af. You can continue to invalidate everyone and accuse them of thinking everyone else is a “sex-obsessed pervert” (but really, when did I ever write this???) but realize maybe you should just do more research and not expect everyone else to deal with the emotional labor of educating you. I’m just going to assume you were having a bad day.
I do not need to explain my feelings AGAIN, when I had taken the time to write and draw a freaking comic on demisexuality to defend and explain myself. For those of you who want to keep commenting and trying to speak over the demi/ace community, this community is still made up of REAL people with REAL feelings and they are genuine and valid.
Inform yourself or gtfoh. I and anyone else don’t need to defend ourselves so I’m not afraid to hit that block button. Maybe take the time to read through the comments of people who have really found the comic and demisexuality eye-opening for them.
To quote @feministingforchange : “The aspec part MATTERS, it counts, it doesn’t just disappear, and aspec erasure is something that we’re currently fighting hard against bc it happens to us SO. DAMN. OFTEN.”
On a positive note: To everyone who has reached out to me privately, thank you for even taking the time to do so. I’m sorry I’m not very active on here and I’d reply or share your messages, but I know some people who have contacted me directly on other platforms had stated that haven’t come out as demi so I prefer to keep their privacy. Overall I’m happy I made something to that seems to have helped people in various ways, whether it’s discovering they might possibly be demi, something to help share with their friends and family how they feel, or to even have just learned something new.
YOU ARE VALID. Ace, Aro, Demi, Gray, Flux, and whatever other label you may choose for yourself–all a-spec people are valid!
#BoostAceVoices #BoostAroVoices
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