E.M.

Obviously I regret deleting my old blog but I was told to be embarrassed of myself. Trying to remember to actually post here too

[cowboyliz]

I just want to dance in through the house

Riskey businesses being by yourself

But gone are the days when I threw parties

for people who only ever loathed me

hands up for hand outs

but injunction when I would jump around

Inhibition gets the worst of me

told to guard joy but let hate run free

Now my parties are by request and invite only

And sometimes they are only just me

[cowboyliz]

How do I put into words my own harmony

Like when you find that song that hits just right

Or a cold glass of water at the end of a long night

How do I explain to you

the way the light moves across the sky

is the reason I don’t cry

Happiness in dried flowers long since dead

and the croaks from the reeds, singing in the trees

My happiness is found at the apex of design

where all the pieces fit just right

or maybe it’s just found in the purrs of my cat

my dog’s head in my lap

my best friend’s laugh

Nothing brings me more peace

then the beauty that comes in everything

[cowboyliz]

I don’t know why you say you like me

You criticize my every move

even when I agree with you

trama that just passes on

You say it’s tough love

but I kept wondering what was wrong with me

I only know what I’m shown

So I mimicked how you treated me

and somehow that too was wrong

Screaming fits then buying me gifts

They’ve gotten smaller as time ‘s gone on

I know you’re supposed to say you love me

but the way you’ve laid

tells me all I need to know otherwise

no attempts made to address validity of emotions

more things I wish I didn’t take on from you

But like the way you treated me

Dead weight

I shake you off

Whisper your criticism to the back of my head

you wish you had my ass as I flip you off

I run to unlearn what you said was love

[cowboyliz]

[cowboyliz]

Trying to make it to this next peak

I forget the mountain behind me

The ridges I rose to the challenge to compete

To find there were more summits in front of me

It is hard to not get swallowed by defeat

Active effort to see more than the worst of things

though I fear I may love the exhaustion

torn between too quick of a climb to care

and making a camp and just staying there

Why do accomplishments never feel like they last

so quick to move on to the next best thing

but dwelling, the fear of that it will be the pinnacle of me

keeps me on a semi steady upward climb

not sure if I’ll make it where I want in my life time

but sure those on the path behind

will carry me at least one more time

[cowboyliz]

How do you define art

It’s simple really

Art is perception

you don’t much think about the earth beneath your feet

But once in a gallery, you leave a legacy

Why is a painting of the sky

Worth more than the vast beyond itself

each second able to be admired for an eternity

Do you love a deer

before it’s taxidermied for the shelf

Perception changes the OR into a drama

What makes the rhythmic rise and fall of our chest

hold less art than the hit of a drum

To the right person there’s art in a gun

Perception truly the only definition

of what art qualifies as good

[cowboyliz]

“ Crusin’ ” Elizabeth Massey, 35mm film, 2026

[cowboyliz]

It’s hard to distinguish

the line where it changes from just documenting my friends

but I don’t care to explain it

what qualifies as enough

how is my goal less valid than the top performers

to dance, laugh, and sing

human nature of all things

I can’t draw the line of difference in my art

because it encompasses me

every time I eat, play, or dream

each moment hangs if only for a moment

on my fictial refrigeradare

some in pride

others to remind to check before the dive

Trying to learn

the ocean kills just as much as the sun burns

and the motion forward is all we have

[cowboyliz]

Why should I show grace

in the face of those who have granted me none

When I employ the same tactics

suddenly there’s a problem

but eyes turn at my bruise

Only I am called deranged for the same behavior

Murder written by the victor is an enemy slain

[cowboyliz]

I come in waves

like the seasons or the sky

was that not the way this was all designed

to root and grow

to blossom and seed

to wither and give base for the next legacy

Is it wrong to misstep and not know

Is it wrong to love deeply then go

Is it wrong to never give an apology

I’ll never know what you think

but I know my nature

and you’ll forget me until golden hour in spring

[cowboyliz]

This is the last time I will sit on this porch

And listen to these chirps

Smell the stink

And listen to this specific AC roar

The felines down this street will make other friends

I will go wherever the river bends

This place a moment of peace

A calm amongst the ever present turbulence

Where all else can be shut off

And I can breathe with the sticks in the mud

[cowboyliz]

I make so many mistakes. Like literally constantly I am messing up or choosing the wrong thing or saying something i shouldn’t. Sometimes these mistakes don’t matter and sometimes they cost me or others and I wish I could turn back time for a redo. But that doesn’t happen, obviously, the only thing I can do is learn. To internalize what I’ve gone and why it’s had the effect it’s had, and what I can do differently the next time. To make mistakes is human, what builds our character is what we do after we make them. I struggle with my own judgment, and they always say we are our worst critics, I hope that’s true. I am working on finding mercy in my heart for both me and you. To learn and let go of the shame, I am allowed to make mistakes, even if I don’t want myself to be imperfect.

[cowboyliz]

My name is Abed.

I’m a survivor from Gaza, holding on to hope in a world that has fallen apart around me. 💔

The life I once knew — my home, my family, my sense of safety — has been shattered by war. Today, I live among the ruins, trying to find a path forward through the rubble and heartbreak. 🏚

Every moment is a battle against fear and uncertainty. What was once ordinary — a safe place to sleep, a future to dream of — now feels like a distant memory. 🕊️

I share my story not to seek pity, but to keep hope alive — to believe that even in the darkest places, kindness can still find a way. 🤍

If my story touches your heart, please consider sharing it or offering support. Every voice, every act of care, brings me one step closer to safety. ✨

Thank you for taking the time to listen. 🙏

Post Link

Post by @aboodfmly · 1 image

💬 195  🔁 14727  ❤️ 3483 · My Journey to Escape the War in Gaza · My name is Abdelmajed. I never imagined I’d be sharing my story like this,

[theconcealedweapon]

[cowboyliz]

What’s worse, the inaction I take, too tired after a long day to make - food, love, art. Void of all passion, energy wasted on bills to pay. Or is what’s worse is when action is taken but it’s not enough. How loud can you scream into the void till it cares to scream back? Will you ever see what I wish I could make?

[cowboyliz]

My morals and career at war, do I drop my connections to stay aligned with my beliefs or do I compromise my morality to make a bag

[cowboyliz]

Honestly the biggest compliment I get as a photographer is when people make the picture I took of them their profile picture. Like thank you! I love that picture of you too!