yells quietly

vent blog mostly. side blog (which means i cant follow u back from this url) previously autistic-alexmercer

[cptsd-gladion]

would like to thank schizotypal for making me so weird that even other autistic people can't handle me

[cptsd-gladion]

pov: you're me waking up at 2am about to discover hydrocodone can cause hallucinations (via a split-second visit from pyramid head)

[cptsd-gladion]

"if you're socially anxious the only solution is socializing more" incorrect. sometimes the actual solution is medication first.

[cptsd-gladion]

no amount of forcing myself to go outside my comfort zone and socialize made me better. i didn't even HAVE a comfort zone. i left every interaction suicidal, hating myself more, dreading the next conversation even worse. the fear was too big and too much to just work through manually. even therapy was useless.

i only got better after starting medication. that, with no extra socializing in between, immediately made social situations more tolerable. I'm still anxious, but it's not the life-ruining fear it used to be. sometimes your baseline anxiety is just completely untenable without extra management. sometimes you actually do need help and not to just push yourself until you break.

[cptsd-gladion]

"if you're socially anxious the only solution is socializing more" incorrect. sometimes the actual solution is medication first.

[cptsd-gladion]

you wish it was worse so people would notice and care and then it gets worse and still no one notices or cares.

[cptsd-gladion]

you shouldn't have left me. i could never do this on my own. why the hell did you leave me alone?

[cptsd-gladion]

if you have looked into both Python and C# programming languages, which appealed to you more in terms of ease and/or learnability, and do you have ADHD?

Python; yes ADHD

Python; no ADHD

C#; yes ADHD

C#; no ADHD

Voting ended onSep 2, 2025

whether you actively code in them or not, simply having looked into the basics of both and having found one seemed more intuitive or easier than the other counts.

[cptsd-gladion]

am i crazy or is C# actually a thousand times more intuitive than Python.

i don't have a ton of experience with either but i feel like when i look at C# tutorials i can actually follow along, but with Python im lost two sentences in. but Python is widely considered easier so????????

i'm still trying to decide which language i want to learn/use for this project, but if i still can't even begin to understand Python after a few more beginner tutorials, i might simply have to go with C#

[sleepywatercreature]

Realest thing ive ever seen as someone who subscribes to the method of self taught programming where I have learned exactly 20 commands and i will use those to make my own worse versions of existing commands thank you very much

[cptsd-gladion]

that sounds similar to how i learn too! maybe its a difference in learning styles? it seems like with Python you have to learn a million little baby steps and memorize a million terms before you ever touch a real line of code, but with C# you can kind of jump in wherever it interests you? i'm always more keen on things that i can learn while applying to a project i want to work on.

like when i was learning blender 3d, the donut tutorial never helped me because i do not want to learn how to model the perfect donut and master a bunch of shortcuts and modifiers i will never use again. what DID help was a beginner tutorial on character modeling, which is what i ACTUALLY wanted to be doing.

for my part, I have ADHD so that might contribute to needing to maintain interest and see results quickly.

[cptsd-gladion]

am i crazy or is C# actually a thousand times more intuitive than Python.

i don't have a ton of experience with either but i feel like when i look at C# tutorials i can actually follow along, but with Python im lost two sentences in. but Python is widely considered easier so????????

i'm still trying to decide which language i want to learn/use for this project, but if i still can't even begin to understand Python after a few more beginner tutorials, i might simply have to go with C#

[cptsd-gladion]

i don't know if this is a result of one of my disabilities or a side effect of one of my meds or what, but the way things just... slide off my brain sometimes sucks so bad. I'm trying to be engaged with the material, I'm trying to break it down into tiny little baby steps, but the information just refuses to go in.

[cptsd-gladion]

it's honestly impressive i managed to grow up to be someone who can be considerate with even a shred of compassion for other people. good job me

[cptsd-gladion]

maybe it's just a my family thing. they also thought it was funny when i had panic attacks so severe i vomited

[cptsd-gladion]

did anyone else with (h/)EDS grow up in an environment where everyone thought their extreme pain sensitivity was, like, funny

[cptsd-gladion]

i wasnt trying to get you in trouble by crying but also maybe if you didn't want to get in trouble you could've just not slapped me?

[cptsd-gladion]

parents will literally punish you every time you're in their eyesight and then still act like you go out of your way for "attention"

[cptsd-gladion]

"why don't you trust your own experiences" one time when i was little my brother slapped me in front of everyone and when i started crying from the pain he accused me of "clutching the wrong cheek" and everyone believed him by default.

[cptsd-gladion]

this was funny to everyone btw

[cptsd-gladion]

"why don't you trust your own experiences" one time when i was little my brother slapped me in front of everyone and when i started crying from the pain he accused me of "clutching the wrong cheek" and everyone believed him by default.