#schizotypal

[grub-muncher]

[ghostlyschizophrenic]

schizophrenia spectrum people who have violent urges are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement

schizophrenia spectrum people who are homeless or experience food insecurity are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement

schizophrenia spectrum people who talk out loud to hallucinations and act erratic in public are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement

schizophrenia spectrum people who cannot work or go to school because of their symptoms are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement

schizophrenia spectrum people who struggle with personal hygiene are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement

schizophrenia spectrum people who don’t want to take medication or cannot adhere to a medication regiment are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement

schizophrenia spectrum people who live with their parents as an adult or needs a carer are still deserving of care and compassion without judgement

just because someone on the schizophrenia spectrum is stereotypical or societally ostracized doesn’t take away their right to being treated with kindness, compassion, and respect and given autonomy

[giritina]

I've encountered many people with schizospectrum symptoms (including myself) who say therapy doesn't work for them, and usually after talking it becomes clear they lie to their therapist, make up problems to talk about, or go along with whatever their therapist's assesment of them is and suppress anything that doesn't fit. This is actually a problem common enough that it shows up in schizospectrum therapy research. It's worth stating explicitly you should be able to tell your therapist whatever youre feeling, even if that is

1. I feel nothing and have nothing to talk about

2. I hate you/think you're evil/think you're plotting again me

3. I think you hate me/think I'm evil/think I'm doing something bad

4. I think this isn't working and the things you tell me don't help me

5. Your analysis of what I'm going through is wrong

6. You're making me feel angry/sad/useless/stupid

7. I feel like you're secretly trying to communicate [x] to me because you said [y]

8. I've just been trying to guess what you want me to say and saying it

9. I'm suffering because of things I can only describe as otherworldly or spiritual or not of this world

Getting a trustworthy therapist can be difficult, and a bad therapist might react in a way that makes you feel like you can't do these things when you do say them. I always look for leftist therapists who will advocate for my rights as a patient and who are critical of police and institutionalization, and this advice is most relevant to people who are entering therapy consensually rather than under coercive, dangerous circumstances. A good therapist will want you to say these things and won't be upset or reject you, they'll just try to help with the issue.

[littlebumbliebee]

Hallucinations and delusions aren’t always funny and meme-able. You’re not always going to see Joe The Grocery Store man, or hear uplifting voices, or believe you’re sonic or something. It’s possible, but that’s not always the case.

A lot of hallucinations are scary. You can see scary things. You can hear violent and vile things - nothing is off limits for hallucinations, much like intrusive thoughts. They can be traumatizing.

Likewise with delusions. Common delusions include believing your brain has been hacked, that you’re a chosen one selected by a god, a prophet, or a God yourself, that you’re being controlled or hunted, that you’re possessed, and so on. These delusions can be scary and traumatizing.

Even small things like seeing insects crawl up you, or believing you’re contaminated somehow can be anxiety inducing.

While it’s true schizospec disorders and psychosis aren’t distressed for everyone, and you can have non-distressing hallucinations and delusions, we shouldn’t try to sanitize the disorder for other people. People with scary, vile, or violent hallucinations and delusions deserve respect like anyone else and should be included in activism.

[getcolumbinedd]

Mental health summary of Dylan Klebold

Prior diagnosis: none Treatment received?: Dylan never was medicated for any mental health related issues. He went to family counseling after his brother was kicked out for smoking weed, but this is not going to personally help Dylan most likely. Obvious signs (to other people): weight loss, anger, loneliness, criminal history, excessive drinking, etc.

Theorized mental health issues for Dylan:

Major Depressive Disorder (widely agreed upon)

Anorexia (due to excessive weight loss and prior comments about thinking he was "fat")

Schizotypal Personality Disorder (initially suspected by Dr. Langman; widely agreed with (I agree with this one))

Bipolar 2 Disorder (somewhat speculated)

Autism Spectrum Disorder (somewhat speculated)

Antisocial Personality Disorder (lesser speculated)

Signs of Dylan's deteriorating mental health (click to continue!)

Delusions

Dylan, unknowingly, seemed to experience quite a few delusions. But he did not view them as this (clearly). Experiencing delusions would line up mostly with bipolar 2 disorder and schizotypal personality disorder.

Dylan referred to himself in a third person standpoint. He seemingly believed he was not himself and had some out-of-body entity controlling him (in a way). Dylan also crossed out his own name once and instead wrote, "Me," as if he was not himself. He also claims multiple times that he doesn't have the same human nature as "Dylan".

"When Dylan Benet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan's body..." "I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned." (Dylan Klebold, 1997) "Does that make me a non-human? YES."

Constant thoughts of suicide

It is no secret Dylan wrote about ending his own life constantly over the span of multiple years. In fact, this is partially why people tend to ignorantly focus on him solely being suicidal.

Dylan, obviously, ended his life by a gunshot wound to the side of the head. In his journals, Dylan consistently mentions suicide in nearly every single page. His is clearly a sign that something wasn't okay.

"OOOh god I HATE my life; I want to die really bad right now." "true true I hate everything. why can't I die..." "No emotions. not caring. yet another stage in this shit life. suicide... Dylan Klebold." "Wanna die & be free w. my love... if she even exists." "If by fate's choice, [edited] didn't love me, id slit my wrist & blow-up Atlanta strapped to my neck."

Thoughts and plans of homicide prior to 4/20

Prior to Eric ever mentioning NBK or committing murder, Dylan brings up killing people dating back to 1997. In fact, it's implied he had the original plan for their attack.

Dylan directly mentions committing a mass murder dating back to 11/03/97, where he mentions obtaining a firearm and going on a killing spree. He also later mentions "going NBK" later with someone who was not Eric.

"[edited] will get me a gun, I'll go on my killing spree against anyone I want." "Soon... either ill commit suicide, or I'll get w. [edited] & it will be NBK for us." "Society is tightening its grip on me, & soon I & [edited] will snap, he will have on revenge on society." (implied)

Constantly feeling outcasted or different from other people

Dylan often discusses himself as if he's "the odd one out." He discusses feeling different from everyone else around him, as if he's displaced.

Dylan consistently discusses feeling different from most people. This actually might relate back to his belief of having a connected "spiritual entity". This trait is common in those with StPD. I've seen various schizotypal people discuss feeling almost as if they're not human because of how different they feel as if they're purely just an existence.

"People are alike, I am different - Dylan" "Yo.... whassup... heehehehe...Know what's whi wierd? Everyone knows everyone. I swear, like im an outcast," "As I see the people at school - some good, some bad - I see how different I am (aren't we all you'll say) yet I'm on such a greater scale of difference." "Nobody accepting me even though I want to be accepted."

Suspiciousness of others/a belief others are purposely conspiring against him

Dylan showed very obvious signs of paranoia and signs of distrust in other people.

Dylan discusses feeling as if others purposely treated him as if he was lesser than them. He also, somewhat, expresses this when discussing his friends.

"I don't know what I do wrong with people (mainly women) - it's like they all set out to hate & ignore me." "Everyone knows everyone. I swear, like I'm an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me...."

Consistent feelings of abandonment and loneliness

Dylan clearly mentions multiple times he feels as if people have abandoned him and that he feels as if he has no one.

Dylan obviously had people, but he internally felt as if he did not. He even mentions girls making him feel this way despite them not even knowing him.

"The possible abandonment, persecution is not something I want to face, yet it is so primitive to me." "I'm here, STILL alone, still in pain." "All people I ever might have loved have abandoned me; my parents piss me off & hate me..." "I have no money, no happiness, no friends... Eric will be getting farther away soon... I'll have less than nothing..." "Everyone moves up I always stayed. Abandonment." "I want to die sooo bad... such a sad, desolate, lonely, unsalvageable I feel I am..... not fair, NOT FAIR!!!!" "I helped them both out thru life, & they left me in the abyss of suffering." "Ever since 7th grade, I've felt lonely..."

Delusions of grandiosity or godliness

Despite Dylan seeming self-loathing, he actually seemed to have either some sort of superiority complex or God complex.

Dylan refers to himself as God multiple times and calls himself godlike. He speaks of other people as if they're below him in every way possible, often referring to them as zombies. This is also, clearly, a sign of a delusion. These could also line up with bipolar disorder and StPD.

"The zombies & their society band together & try to destroy what is superior & what they don't understand & are afraid of." "Only for the gods though (me, [edited] & etc.)" "I am GoD. [edited] is GoD. & zombies will pay for their arrogance, hate, fear, abandonment, & distrust." "Soon we will live in the halcyons of our minds, the one thing that made me a god." "I UNDERSTAND THE EVERYTHING, I AM THE GOD OF THE EVERYTHING W. [edited]!"

Other notable signs:

Constant feelings of sadness, frustration, or anger.

Excessive usage of alcohol (to the point where it was notable to friends).

Seemingly against treatment and receiving mental health help. He denied his mother's attempts and stated on his diversion report that he did not see it as necessary.

Physically harming other people prior to the attack.

Mentions of self-harm, specifically cutting himself.

My personal takeaway (opinion):

I personally believe Dylan Klebold has StPD along with MDD or bipolar disorder. I believe Dylan had a superiority complex while also feeling constantly inferior to other people, similar to Eric's writings.

I personally believe people like Dylan are actually the ones you have to look out for over people like Eric. Eric was outwardly expressing homicidal thoughts, admitted to feeling suicidal, and expressed anger constantly (seemingly this was a cry for help). But Dylan internalized his for the most part and even refused help from people. This is why so many people were shocked Dylan was involved, not Eric. This is why so many people believed he was manipulated. Dylan hid his homicidal thoughts and suicidal tendencies well.

People tend to list traits of Dylan as if they were solely traits of him, all while Eric had the same traits. Both were deeply insecure, struggled with depression, had a temper, felt suicidal, felt homicidal, felt lonely, and felt outcasted.

Eric is seemingly framed as more violent because he expresses his ideologies more outwardly and doesn't shy away in his journals from expressing hatred. But I honestly do not believe a lot of things Eric says. This is because he knew people would read his journals (starting off sentences with somewhat of a "to whoever is reading this," sort of ordeal). Why wouldn't the guy who felt lonely and inferior his entire life try to frame himself as a psychopathic, fascist murder-machine? That would make people scared of him, not see him for what he truly was: a deeply insecure guy with anger issues who is constantly teased and bullied, leading to intense feelings of inferiority and loneliness.

Like guys, Dylan literally thought an external force kept other people from opening his journals...

Anyways, I hope this summary was okay! I can do other people if wanted!!

Sources:

Source #1

Source #2

(Guys... I made a Dylan post without hating on him intensely... everyone cheer now!!!!)

[theoriginalcatfan]

Mental health advocates when someone has a disorder that is relatively harder to romanticize

[chartnumber3]

there should be an option for those who cannot or will not be willing to participate in society. society should be a thing you opt-in for, for those who are insane enough to participate . leave me out of this completely and entirely

[jellyfish-are-stars]

yeah, having delusions/hallucinations is "bad," its not something a healthy brain does, but like... if you're already disordered, you're not making it worse by accepting your disorder and co-existing with it.

im schizotypal and when im stressed, i have a cast of "demons" that i feel the presence of. two are scary, and one is honestly chill. they aren't real to anyone else except me, they cant hurt me or anyone else, and they only exist in my head. but my brain is part of me. it's like most of me, and so these hallucinations do affect me.

my friends kinda play along with me, they will check rooms for me to make sure the demons cant get me, theyll go into rooms first if im scared, theyll walk me to bed if i feel in danger. i collect porcelain dolls, and i believe they protect me from "demons", when i feel afraid my friends will tell my dolls to keep me safe and scare the "demons" away.

the demons dont exist, but theyre a part of my life. i could ignore them and supress that part of my brain, but thats extremely difficult and usually makes it worse, because even though they arent real to the world, they Are real to me.

basically all this is to say, if someone believes they can turn into a wolf or that they have a real tail or sum shit, mind ur own buisness. thats theyre reality and theyre using online spaces to express that reality. the people in their real life will alert the right people if they think the person is a danger to themself or others. you reality checking them is not only totally pointless but could infact reinforce their delusions and make them More likely to be a risk. chances are that they know theyre disordered but they just wanna play into their delusions online because its a coping mechanism.

basically stfu and leave disordered alterhumans alone 🫶