He didn't say what I think he did, did he?

[crapihearoncampus]

Student 1: I want to bring "gay" back to its "happy" definition plane

Student 2: no, I like it better as an insult

Student 3: me too!

[crapihearoncampus]

Him: I have matches on Tindr

Me: you just told me you had a girlfriend

Him: yeah but she doesn't want to kiss and I like to make out

Me: that poor girl

[crapihearoncampus]

Student One: I don't like Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

Student Two: Are you gay?

Student Two: Do you like girls?

Me *thinking*: IF YOU DON'T SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M GOING TO SCREAM

[crapihearoncampus]

Professor: Everything is made of objects

Professor: This table is an opject

Professor: This chair is an object

Professor: *points to a dude I find annoying* You're an object

Me: *thinking* Ha!

[crapihearoncampus]

Student: we should start a Facebook page about all the random things we talk about

Me *thinking*: Jokes on you

[crapihearoncampus]

Student 1: i always thought it would be the coolest thing ever for a guy to wait for a girl to come home from her mission

S1: and then she dumps him

S1: wouldn't that be the coolest thing ever?

[crapihearoncampus]

Student: The qualities we're looking for in women isn't the strong warrior type who will go out and fight battles, we're looking for mothers. Those are the qualities we're attracted to.

[crapihearoncampus]

Student one: how can you show your love for your roommates?

Student two: you can tell him you love him.

S1: you could. It may come off as kinda gay

S3: if you say no homo it's fine

[crapihearoncampus]

Student: I am glad that you found what I said to be profound

[crapihearoncampus]

Professor: if you did the reading (from a new book) you'll have read something different from this slide I'm using (which came from a different book)

Me *thinking*: so you're teaching is from an old book while telling us to read a different book?

[crapihearoncampus]

Student 1: hashtag youcan'ttrustasians

((JUST STOP SPEAKING))

[crapihearoncampus]

Professor: Fellow students of mathematics, if you get an answer that is right that you weren't expecting to be right, please allow that to build your self confidence. Often times we allow our mistakes to tear us down, so it's only fair.

[crapihearoncampus]

On families

Professor: Guys, you can't be fathers without a woman. Ladies, you can't be mothers without a guy.

Me (thinking): I've got some shocking news for you...

[crapihearoncampus]

On caffeine

Student one: last time I had caffeine I was up until 3

[crapihearoncampus]

Student 1: ok here's a dare. We all stop doing gay things and calling each other gay and the first one to do something gay is the real gay

[crapihearoncampus]

On Puerto Rico

Student 1: *talking about how Captain America's uniform is similar the flag of Puerto Rico*

Student 2: *mentions he is Puerto Rican*

Student 1: You're Puerto Rican?

Student 2: Yeah, half

Student 1: *pretends to be offended/upset and pretends to stand up as if he's going to switch seats*

Student 1: *pointing to another student* You can sit here *points at student 2's chair

[crapihearoncampus]

On Vidja Games

Student 1: Whats wrong with a girl character?

Student 2: This is the main character we're talking about

Student 1: Which would you rather see while you're playing? A guy or a girl?