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@crazylittleloon
I have almost definitely said it before but by god I will say it again: the funniest possible way to do the whole "fake marriage" trope would be like two people getting married so they can invoke the spousal privilege that lets them refuse to testify against one another in court. a couple of mobsters sweating bullets in a vegas wedding chapel so they aren't compelled to rat on each other when the next heist inevitably goes sour
What does a girl have to do around here to get more annlett content on her dash
SIMCOE: [finally gets Anna to touch him of her own free will] HEWLETT: Surprise, bitch. ANNA: [completely forgets Simcoe’s existence and runs over to kiss Hewlett]
Caleb Brewster: So yer the fella who’s datin’ Annie.
Edmund Hewlett: Um…yes? Yes, I am.
Caleb Brewster: If ya hurt her, I will nail dead birds to yer house.
it’s spelled disdain not distain
SORRY I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE EARTH SHATTERING PROSTATE ORGASM I JUST GAVE YOUR DAD
[Anna and Hewlett get engaged]
Hewlett: I’m so happy I want to shout it from the rooftops!
Anna: And he has. We’ve gotten several noise complaints.
(\__/) ⠀ (•ㅅ• ) Anna, telling Abe he can’t kill Hewlett ＿ノ ヽ ノ＼ __ / `/ ⌒Ｙ⌒ Ｙ ヽ ( (三ヽ人 / | | ﾉ⌒＼ ￣￣ヽ ノ ヽ＿＿＿＞､＿＿_／ ｜( 王 ﾉ〈 (\__/) /ﾐ`ー―彡\ (•ㅅ•) hewlett
Y’all I just learned that unusually high sugar and carb cravings are a symptom of dopamine deficiency
If you’re adhd and experience a deep and all-encompassing urge to eat cake at least five times a day boy do I have news for you
Oh yeah, this is a hell of a thing. Years before my diagnosis I used to snack hardcore on chocolates and particularly candy whenever I was writing and insisted it ‘helped me think’. Turns out that yup, that was my ADHD brain demanding sugar for the dopamine machine to help me pay attention.
(These days I just keep a bottle of high-glucose sports drink handy and slowly sip my way through it when I need to focus instead of slamming back whole packets of Nerds.)
Can confirm via lived experience. I’m known for my sweet tooth and consuming a LOT of sugar daily, which never seemed to affect my ‘energy’ levels the way people say kids get hyperactive on sugar. It in fact simply helped me be steadier.
Since I started taking ADHD medication, my cravings for sweet snacks have gotten down to almost zero, except if I need to make a specifically mentally challenging task. Wish I knew this before I only sought diagnosis past 30 years old…
Grass trees already blooming in the wake of the Australian wildfires.
They look like blooming flames
Advice I wish I would’ve followed or been given.
And you can still do it now
fun fact: one of the best ways to keep your mind sharp is to continue learning new skills as you grow older! it’s never too late to learn how to make your own clothes or resurrect the dead or grow beautiful flowers.
Um
Scoob and the gang have an existential crisis.
other people: weird cool uncle, vodka, aunt, gay cousin
me:
catholics be like “don’t be horny kids” and then bombard you with images of half naked men tied up to things
ur right and u should say it
I can see 6 years into the future…Thanks to my 2020 vision.
How long have you been waiting to use that joke
Since 2009
Imagine how much historical knowledge wasn’t written down because our ancestors thought: “What idiot isn’t going to know this?”
So ancient Egypt’s best friend basically was called Punt. They traded all kinds of fun stuff with them; ebony, incense, gold, silver, myrrh, leopard skins, baboons for pets… and the Egyptians wrote a lot about the land, the people living there, what their houses looked like, records of trading expeditions to there (like, robust, oceangoing ships with thousands of men); they wrote down everything imaginable about this place… except for where it actually was.
We still to this day have no geographic fix on this ancient empire’s whereabouts, because what idiot wouldn’t know, right?
Until the 1850s British condiment sets came with bottles for oil and vinegar, and three spice containers for salt, pepper and…nobody knows. Potentially mustard, but it’s just a guess because no one ever wrote it down.
And this is why historians love, really love, those incredibly dull people who write in their diary every day about what they wore and what they had for dinner and how many miles away their friend Mr So-And-So’s house is in that one village. Because they are the only ones who *do* write down what was in the third spice jar, how many miles away this now-nonexistent village was and so on. Seriously, the diaries of really dull people are HISTORICAL TREASURES OF OTHERWISE LOST MINUTIAE.
Somewhere out there there is almost certainly a diary that would expose the true contents of that third spice jar because of the one time it was low and this person had to have a quiet word with the butler or something and it was the most interesting thing that happened all week so they wrote it down. And I hope that diary is found someday because now I really want to know.
That’s weirdly heart warming. Like, even if you are incredibly dull and live a normal boring life, you still might be the most interesting person to some historian some day
I’ve done some reenactment cooking, and there is one Renaissance European cookbook author who left us a trove of recipes but when he got to vegetables said, essentially, I’m not going to waste your time on that, women know how to prepare them. And so we have no fucking idea about which vegetables they were eating in that particular context, or how.
ETA: It was Le Viandier de Taillevent, and the actual line supposedly translates as, “women are experts with these and anyone knows how to do them.” (http://www.godecookery.com/how2cook/howto01.htm)
If the third spice container in a cruet-set was for mustard it would usually be a standard lid-and-spoon mustard pot. This one’s from the 1840s, though I’ve seen a photo of a Georgian one from the late 1780s which looked just like it.
Mostly they were too big to be included in the set, because mustard was used in larger quantities than anything else. ”Spices, Salt & Aromatics in the English Kitchen” by Elizabeth David © 1970, mentions the medieval Goodman of Paris recommending that a wedding party of forty persons needed two quarts of mustard. This dropped off a bit as time went on, but even modern mustard-pots (check Google Image) are much larger than the salt-n-pepper. Not that mustard gets eaten in quantity, just taken from the pot. J.J. Coleman, founder of the U.K.’s best known mustard company, once said: “I make my money from the mustard people leave on the side of their plate.”
So that third container may have been for sugar. Here’s a vintage cruet-set with, going clockwise, a bottle almost certainly for vinegar, a single-hole pourer for salt, a multi-hole shaker for pepper, and a taller multi-hole with larger holes that I’m convinced is a sugar-caster (from which we get caster sugar…). But sugar as a table condiment?
C. Anne Wilson’s © 1973 “Food and Drink in Britain from the Stone Age to the 19th Century” quotes numerous recipes using sugar as a garnish on savoury dishes (trout in wine, roast mutton with herb stuffing, various others), and even uses the term “flavour enhancer”. It sounds like sugar was the MSG of Renaissance and Early Modern England, and the US palate’s fondness for adding sweetness to savoury - such as pouring syrup onto a breakfast of waffles, bacon and sausage - is an absolute match to the historical flavour combination. Actual historical information can be overwhelmed by the business of “not writing down what everyone knows”, since it bounces off “what is written down leads to what everyone thinks they know.”
Take “medieval” and “bathing” - two words that “everyone thinks” are mutually incompatible, reinforced by desaturated movies, dingy costumes, “There’s some lovely filth over here!” and of course “How do you know he’s a king…?”
The usual proof that medieval people were dirty was the infrequency of baths noted in household journals, since stuff like “This being All Hallows’ Eve, my Lady did take her bath”, with similar entries few and far between, indicated that so was washing.
You could apply the same rule to the present day, and be wrong. Moderns, @dduane and I among them, take daily showers but might not have an actual full-tub bath from one month’s end to the next. Just waiting for the thing to fill takes as long as a hasty freshen-up shower (though I’m sure other taps work faster than ours) and uses far more of the household hot-water supply, so just hopping in, scrubbing and hopping out again after all that seems a bit wasteful. Why not make a meal of it? Literally…
“More bread, more wine, more hot water?”
I’ve even heard baths described as unhygienic because you’re lying in your own dirty water. That’s only if you’re actually using the bath for washing in. We (I don’t think we’re the only ones) shower first because we don’t actually wash in the tub, we soak, we laze, we luxuriate, and a book and a glass of wine feature more prominently than soap or shampoo.
This time-wasting Deadly Sin of Luxury was one of the things that got bathing a bad name; also that bathing reminded the bather of Certain Parts of The Body and the sinful but fun things that might be done with them.
“Your place or mine?”
Then and now…
The first article linked at the bottom notes that (a) the monks of Westminster Abbey were required to have a bath four times a year, but (b) that the Abbey retained a full-time bath attendant who had a yearly stipend and a daily bread allowance. Why “full-time” and “daily” if he was only needed four times a year? I have a feeling those four baths were a formal religious observance (two were at Christmas and Easter) but the monks had far less elaborate washes far more frequently.
There were numerous medieval public bathhouses (frowned upon by the Church since Nakedness led to Nookie), but “taking a (private) bath” in the days before piped water and drainage plugs was a serious, disruptive performance in any household, well worth noting down. The bath had to be hauled out, or maybe even constructed from separate parts like a barrel, then enough hot water to fill it had to be heated and carried to the bower or private chamber. Likewise with the cold water, which at least didn’t need heating.
“Knock, knock, are you decent? Oops, sorreee…”
In those circumstances husband and wife sharing a “save-water” bath was common, and there’s reason to think the rest of the family took their turn, with top-ups of hot water as required. Since this was a bathe-for-luxury rather than wash-for-clean (that bit happened before the hot soak, Japanese style) the water didn’t get grubby, but there are some theories that one-tub-for-all may be the origin of “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater”. IMO it’s a little too neat, but YMMV.
Old-style wooden tubs are still available, and I can imagine with great pleasure how long this one would keep the water hot (that angled thing is a backrest, padded when in use.)
After the bath was done, all the water had to be carried back downstairs again (if not flung out of a window, bucket by bucket) the bath put away, spills mopped up, and of course the staff had also to make time for all their regular chores as well. Small wonder such an event got noted and logged with a subtext of relief that it wouldn’t happen again for a couple of months.
“Is that the loofah?” “No, but don’t stop scrubbing…”
I have a feeling that ordinary keep-clean washing was much simpler, and happened far more often. It needs just two buckets, a washcloth, a basin and a towel. Stand in the basin, wet the washcloth, wash with water from one bucket, rinse with water from the other bucket, dry off with the towel. Done. If necessary you could get away with just one bucket, so long as you didn’t let the water in it get too soiled. This process was far less disruptive and wasn’t entered into the household accounts, any more than noting every visit to the well or firewood stack.
We actually proved this could be managed a few years ago, when our shower mixer tap broke and the local hardware store couldn’t source a replacement for a week. So we used our garden bucket, our kitchen bucket, a washcloth, a sponge, and stood in the bathtub instead of a basin. It wasn’t as refreshing as a shower, but used far less water than even a partially-full tub and kept us throughly clean until the mixer tap was fixed. (We’ve since bought one of those hand-shower things that go on the bath taps, and of course now we’ve got it we’ve never needed it.)
More about the subject here. And here. And here. And here.
