nobody's here, come back later

24. no pronouns, do not perceive me. cringe emo and genshin player unfortunately. i reblog things i think are funny or pretty (might include nsfw)

[jell-o101]

"We want more complicated female characters!"

Ya'll couldn't even handle HER.

[blackstar5078]

Important tags to include actually.

[satan-offical]

I find it funny when

Oh my god FUCK OFF

[imsoofuckingsad]

???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

[mrotiski]

international cut your hair like your icon day how screwed are you 

[sigmaleph]

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

[cerceos-deactivated20160308]

Calvin and Hobbes - It’s July Already

[pankendev]

i don't go there but i don't mind the postcards

[rijinks]

Bianca Castafiore sings Mozart.

For the [Haddock VS Salieri match] over at @electionsmistertumbler !!

Both these guys are feeling soo so tortured but for wildly different reasons...

[imsobadatnicknames2]

I know I already made a post to this effect but it's so baffling to me when someone defends the fact that headphone jacks are slowly but surely getting phased out by smartphone manufacturers with some variations of "wireless headphones are more convenient anyway" bc like. If we're talking about convenience what I like about wired headphones is that they conveniently have a single plug that makes the same damn pair of headphones universally compatible with every single audio-output-capable device I own, from my phone and my computer to my fucking gameboy and my casette player, it doesn't get any more convenient than that.

[winonaparadise]

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

[winonaparadise]

I suppose this exposes my ignorance and inexperience. I suggest we normalize the use of the penis vice so that we can curve and straighten cocks to our own unique tastes. They can be 3D printed with an aposable skeleton so that they can be curved. I have included a mockup down below.

[transhumanisticpanspermia]

op i regret to inform you that the curve is so inherent that it persists even when you flip it inside out, turn it into a vagina, and stick a ramrod straight dilator into it for 30 minutes 4 times per day for several months.

(they don't usually give you an MRI 4 months after bottom surgery, i just happened to need one for unrelated reasons)

[winonaparadise]

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!

[neilcicierega]

I was having sex with iTunes on shuffle and I came during "Best" from Mouth Silence.

having sex with iTunes

[transgenderer]

every spelunker should go in with a cyanide tooth capsule so if they get stuck they can take the gentle way out instead of being tortured by the earth for 72 hours and then dying anyway

[transgenderer]

@kropotkindersurprise said:

it should be an explosive device, so they widen that part of the cave at the same time and no other spelunkers will get stuck there

beautiful vision. i love the idea of a minecraft-style world where if you explode underground it just clears a radius

[wintercorrybriea]

hello kitty x algae

[badassdemonsword]

A milli

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

[cosmicanger]

[helloitsbees]

How did you give yourself an EAR INFECTION eating pussy

im just gonna screenshot from a text i sent my friends after the doctors visit

[helloitsbees]

you can’t fucking do this to me

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

A Noble Sacrifice

Never has there been a more righteous and honorable way to get an ear infection.

[bedupolker]

Yep, Utah Senate, the drought is definitely being caused by someone with a leaky faucet and nothing that starts with a "D" and rhymes with "betacenter"