Waffle House Enthusiast

im five foot four lets fuck on the floor

[southernsideofme]

[shencomix]

[cutest-animals-here]

[allthingslinguistic]

schwa is the spookiest English vowel because any other vowel can become it. it’s like a vowel ghost. cədaver skeləton devəl halləween autəmn

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

whenever i see a baby in public i wish i were like a powerful faerie god mother character who could give the baby a gift like “you’ll never get a cold” or “math will always make sense to you” or something like bein’ great with string instruments but I don’t have any powers that I know of but it doesn’t stop me from trying so every time I see a baby in public I tell the adult with it “what a beautiful baby” and it makes them smile and then I pretend I can take the goodness of their smile and I look at the baby and I think very hard “you will have a good life, even if it’s hard, you will end up happy” and I’m just hopin’ the magic kicks in at some point

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

faerie: for your service, I will grant you one boon me: cool can it be the power to grant boons faerie, looking through the manual: uh,

[spiirt-deactivated20191026]

HELLO??????

[muuunii]

[jedimagnus]

Why on earth hasn’t anyone invented a less terrifying way to open biscuits and cinnamon rolls???? 😩

[kayliemalinza]

because squishing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris. the pop is to keep us humble. to remind us that death comes for all

[jeongincore]

the crab in the little mermaid was right, the human world is a mess

[kscotter]

Please watch this whole thing

[fuckmountain2-deactivated202204]

[te-amo-corazon]

the entire term has been this confusing and chaotic

[geekscoutcookies]

The staff of The Onion are just growing cobwebs at this point

[memewhore]

[yonceeknowles]

[catchymemes]

[totallyradicalblog-blog]

Chomp

[bitchthepotsis]

Him beginning a scream at the last second  👌

[antifainternational]

Under Donald Trump’s leadership, America is committing genocide.  Again.

[thatsparrow]

why on earth do scooby doo cartoons have a laugh track in the background

[thatsparrow]

other observations from the very first episode of scooby doo:

- the gang keeps a comically long ladder in the back of the mystery machine (and are, apparently, 100% down to break into a museum given the slightest suspicion)

- shaggy is “the swinging-est gymnast in the whole school!”

- the gang has the same dynamic/breakdown as the teen titans

- shaggy, pro-gymnast, is also, apparently, an expert ventriloquist (and uses that skill to throw his voice into an urn? for some reason??)

- there is shockingly little actual (intentional) investigative work happening to solve this mystery

- “just as we thought, it’s the curator!” well yeah he was the only other character introduced this whole episode who else was it gonna be

- some professor was gagged and tied up and disguised as a museum exhibit for?? days I guess??? how is he not dead

- “zoinks, it’s alive!” shaggy says about the suit of armor that sounds exactly like scooby doo come on shaggy u fuckin dumbass

[thatsparrow]

episode 2 let’s go:

- “i can already taste those chocolate-covered hot dogs” hey shaggy what the fuck

- scooby doo really does just trip headlong into every mystery they end up solving huh

- shit I wonder if the suspicious beach hermit blaming a ghost is gonna wind up being the villain

- “it’s obvious, she practices witchcraft!” velma how is that an obvious conclusion you guys spend all your time disproving spooky shit

- nvm she has a book called “witchcraft made easy”

- i guess they’re all diving certified? where do these kids find the time

- god this plan for catching the scuba ghost is so ridiculous i love these kids so much

- oh dang! twasnt the suspicious beach hermit after all this episode actually zagged on me

- no way scooby doo isn’t some kind of hapless chaotic trickster god cursed to live in the body of a great dane

[florial]

[florial]

You’re beautiful