Nice and Slippery @crimkingson - Tumblr Blog

kitty car 🐱

there are places in the world today that are experiencing 40°C for the first time in recorded history. of course there's no way to know whether chucking billionaires into volcanos will appease the sun god but i feel we're doing the scientific method a disservice if we don't at least try

oldshowbiz

Norm Macdonald kissing a swine

whaile

late summer / early fall thoughts

midtown120blues-deactivated2018

killhitleragain

just a little sex

transxfiles

CC:

Kermit: Oh, oh, uh... well, fine. Listen, after these messages we’ll be back with a lot of great funny sketches and, and some neat songs... hm, and, and maybe some sex-

Yellow Muppet: What?

Kermit, reassuringly: Hm? Well, just a little sex-

carolsturka

you have to be in a certain specific mood to listen to classic rock because sometimes a guy is playing his guitar and you're just like shut the fuck up man

northshorewave

parkchanwoohoo

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

gunsandfireandshit

This is painfully American

dirtbaby2016

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

unstablebill

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

iz-robin

One of these has the moral standing of a cartoon villain, the other might save the country.

Welcome to British politics.

matthgeek

Well that's not staying in the tags

chicken-delight

i have tested positive for tzatziki

sabertoothwalrus

I love when someone is explaining instructions to a group I’m in and they look at me and it reminds them to say something about using preferred names/pronouns or that there’s vegan food options available. I go by my given name/pronouns and I’m not vegan but I’m proud that I can provide this service

batbetbitbotbut

slowspinningredemption

i was in the supermarket and a guy looked at me and calls over to his wife like "honey what are we having for dinner tonight?" and when she told him he nodded and, still staring directly at my shirt, said "i'll get some garlic bread"

my shirt:

streetkit

it does suck that the government defunded PBS but it's also so fucking funny that now that they don't take uncle sam's slavery dollars they're running videos like "How america's foundation was built on genocide"