what if you were a thousand year old demon lord cursed to be a literal walking vessel for all the world's horrors and i was a young upstanding swordsman who lost my family to your uncontrollable violence. what if i inherited the only weapon in the universe that could kill you and you came to me one day and told me you'd help me learn how to do it. what if i promised you, in all my grief and rage, that i'd be the one to kill you someday. what if you were gentle with me despite my hatred for you. what if you looked out for me, cut yourself on my sword to save me from my nightmares, held my hand and healed the bleeding wound and asked for nothing in return. what if you never asked for anything from anyone and loved the world anyway. what if you wanted to die because you thought the world would be better off without you because the only thing you see in yourself is violence. what if they dragged me through the mud and you stood by me and protected me and looked me in the eyes like you'd always done because you understood how it felt.
what if one day i looked at you and realized i didn't want you to die and it tore me apart. what if i'd rather walk into fire, freeze myself for eternity. what if your death by my hand was written in the stars by our ancestors. what if i know how this story ends, know it can't be rewritten. what if i try anyway. what if i try anyway because i love you.
what if when i kill you i only do it partway. what if instead of killing myself on my grief i manifest it so that when i look in the mirror i’m reminded of you and of what i did. what if the act of mercy for you is really an act of selfishness for me so that i can see you in front of me again. what if i take the weapon used to end you and sheathe it and use it only as a guide to gather your soul.
what if i spend my long life searching and hoping. what if i know you are there and i will cover every speck of ground to find you. what if after longing and looking the wisp of your soul that remains in the world finds ME. what if you sense my yearning and love and impossibly find me. because you love me.
I’m halfway through Fangs of Fortune and I’ve gotta say, the main trio have the funniest relationship dynamic going on ever. Like Zhu Yan seems to think he’s in a polyamorous relationship with both leads: whereas both Wen Xiao and Yichen are convinced Zhu Yan is just dating Wen Xiao. They absolutely cannot be moved from this opinion no matter what Zhu Yan does.
Zhu Yan literally asks Wen Xiao to ‘tie the knot’ between him and Yichen, and it is still interpreted as him wanting to marry just her. Then he has to swiftly backtrack to avoid Yichen getting too jealous. Even though Yichen won’t admit he’s jealous because he’s fully convinced that he’s having a sad conflicted unrequited love time even though Zhu Yan is literally begging him to date him in every scene.
It’s brought up that Yichen could be jealous and Yichen is like “Brotherhood is also a valid form of love 🥲.” Immediate smash cut to Zhu Yan’s astounded expression like “What the fuck do you mean ‘brotherhood’ I literally asked about your bedroom habits last episode? I undress you with my eyes in every scene?? Where are you going??? Let me love you!!!!!”
It’s so fucking funny. It’s almost like there’s a cosmic force (Chinese censorship) keeping the polyamory from happening.
what if you were a thousand year old demon lord cursed to be a literal walking vessel for all the world's horrors and i was a young upstanding swordsman who lost my family to your uncontrollable violence. what if i inherited the only weapon in the universe that could kill you and you came to me one day and told me you'd help me learn how to do it. what if i promised you, in all my grief and rage, that i'd be the one to kill you someday. what if you were gentle with me despite my hatred for you. what if you looked out for me, cut yourself on my sword to save me from my nightmares, held my hand and healed the bleeding wound and asked for nothing in return. what if you never asked for anything from anyone and loved the world anyway. what if you wanted to die because you thought the world would be better off without you because the only thing you see in yourself is violence. what if they dragged me through the mud and you stood by me and protected me and looked me in the eyes like you'd always done because you understood how it felt.
what if one day i looked at you and realized i didn't want you to die and it tore me apart. what if i'd rather walk into fire, freeze myself for eternity. what if your death by my hand was written in the stars by our ancestors. what if i know how this story ends, know it can't be rewritten. what if i try anyway. what if i try anyway because i love you.
Not this wonderful, angsty-romantic scene and then the camera pans back to this...
A heart....a fucking heart. For anybody who missed the memo, those two boys are not just friends. I can't...I see what you did there, Mr. Director, and I approve.
Petition for every Chinese BL to have a heartswipe scene
Censored Chinese BLs I love for people who don't know what they are or want to find more.
Censored Chinese dramas refer to Chinese dramas that are based on gay source material and are adapted to screen, but due to strict restrictions in China, they must redact most of the gay interactions. Even so, Chinese productions work on a little budget and use workarounds to make the romance as clear as possible without getting taken off air. Some fail, some succeed. All of them make it pretty clear to viewers, though, that these characters are in love.
Also, for non Cdrama watchers, most Cdramas are LONG. I'm talking 30-45 minute episodes for 30 episodes on average, so if you want to start one get ready for an investment. There are shorter ones, but honestly, I think it's worth the investment.
Continue on for examples and recs.
The Untamed (2019)- The big boy. If anyone tells you they watch Chinese bromance, this one was likely their first. It is the most popular among these. It's on Netflix.
Word of Honor (2021) - Another popular one and this one got some of the most in your face gay shenanigans on screen. Also, one of their workarounds was having the actors mouth much gayer lines and dub it over (All Chinese audio is dubbed over in dramas). Maybe they just were at a good time period, maybe because the actors were so popular, maybe the censors were asleep, but we love her. Also, on Netflix.
Guardian (2018)- Another more popular one kinda makes a trifecta with the other two. This one got away with some good moments. I can only now find it on YouTube, but the audio sometimes gets cut off.
Killer and Healer (2021)- This one is a lot less popular than the first three. They got away with quite a bit but got even more cut out, but this one has its deleted scenes available to view online! Available on Viki and Youtube.
Winter Begonia (2020)- This one got a little bigger because of how artistic it is. It had a beautiful setting and costuming. They have a bit of a slow burn, but they definitely have their moments. Available on Viki.
S.C.I. Mystery (2018)- A household name purely because they got away with so much. Including a kiss disguised as CPR, sleeping in the same bed, etc. The budget is TINY, though, so if you can't handle everything looking like a set and poor graphics, this might not be for you. On Youtube.
Justice in the Dark (2023)- Not yet completed and has been on the back burner for a couple of years, but she's back baby, now airing in Japan. Pretty heavy on the gay, thus why they didn't pass censors after episode 8. I have no idea where to watch it. Fans are working on subbing.
Spirealm (2024)- Also one of the dramas that nearly didn't make it. Got put up, taken down, put back up on a different site. But she exists, and it is one of the gayest dramas on this list. I would say it beats out what Word of Honor got away with. On Viki.
Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty (2020)- This drama feels gay most of the time, straight for a short period of time, but they had nice moments, and they had a higher budget, directed by Jackie Chan, so you know the fighting is good. On Viki.
Advance Bravely (2017)- Started reading the book, but I have only seen clips of the show. It looks like it has potential in that older show, cheesy way, but they certainly got away with a lot because they were earlier in the timeline. On Viki and IQiyi.
Stand by Me (2023)- Haven't finished this one yet, but it is up there in chemistry. It was really hard to find, but it is on WeTV. No gifs unfortunately.
Honorable Mentions
Addicted (2016)- A canonically gay drama, the only canon gay drama to be made and released in China pre-ban. It is toxic, I warn you. It was made in 2016, prime toxic BL time. We must honor those who came before, though. It was canceled halfway through. Available on YouTube and Viki.
Meet You at the Blossom (2024)- Another canon BL, this one picked up in Thailand. The actors are Chinese, the language, and the backdrop. Everything behind the scenes is thai. It is also toxic, but less than Addicted, another win for Chinese BL, opening up possibilities.
The rest will not be based on gay source material but feel at the same level as the others on the list.
Mysterious Lotus Casebook (2023) - I feel that the new Chinese tactic to convey gay subtext and cover it up is to make everyone act equally romantic toward everyone, which in turn is creating polycules, which is lovely for me. This drama is no exception. Available on IQiyi.
Fangs of Fortune (2024) - A much larger and more complicated polycule complete with lesbians and straights. Available on IQiyi.
Silent Criminal (2020) - This one felt like it was supposed to be gay, and they tried to shove a female lead between them to diffuse the tension. Available on Viki and IQiyi.
Wuliang (2020) - I gotta be honest, when I first saw this movie, I didn't get the hype, but after some time I really appreciate the visuals and themes that have stuck with me, I think it was just too short. Unavailable legally without a vpn.
Yin Yang Master (2020) - This movie was very much an enemies to lovers sub plot with a fantastical main plot that looks beautiful. Available on Netflix.
Any Lost Tomb Adaptation (2015-2025) - The ships in this franchise span books, movies, shows, comics, etc. They are visible in any adaptation, so feel free to explore.
A League of Nobleman (2023) - This one is also a nice polycule opportunity. It feels lighter than some of the others on the list, but still very much a bromance. Available on Viki.
Under the Skin (2022) - This one makes me more unsure whether it was intended to even be a bromance at all, but by the second season they definitely blossomed into something beautiful and they are backdropped by some amazing and unique plots and cases. There are also some sweet shipping possibilities within, but I don't want to spoil. Available on Viki.
My Roommate is a Detective (2020) - Now this one was definitely meant to be a bromance, but also a straight romance. Unfortunately, the female lead drove me absolutely up the wall, then when they had another chance with the same two leads and director to do another drama called Checkmate, it was boring, so... start at your own peril and be warned, I am no women hater, she is just... you'll see.
I know of more, but these are the only ones I have at least seen enough to suggest (or not) to other people. I thought all this time spent on this media might as well be used somehow. Hopefully this helps you find a new drama or a new type of drama or dramas in general. Happy watching!
it will never not be funny to me that shen zechuan didn't have access to the "am i gay" test and so he checked at a brothel to determine if he was attracted to the male courtesans or just That One Guy
I've been reading a lot of qjj recently and AAAAAAA I'm loving it so much!! I never thought I'd be the type for plot heavy political dramas but here I am, struggling to figure everyone's relationship and remembering names (lol)
Cezhou is also so so sweet as a couple good GOD reading their interactions makes me wanna bash my head into the wall /pos /pos /pos Really good enemies to lovers content (even if the enemies part doesn't last very long) BUT YEAH YOU GUYS SHOULD READ QJJ
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