The Crip Love Project

A place to document the beauties and complexities of crip/queer/trans love

[criploveproject]

I made this blog over a month ago and fittingly haven’t had the spoons to make an introduction post until now. I want it to be perfect, but I’m going to settle for done because that’s life.

This blog is a place for me to document all the beautiful, complicated, and interconnected ways that crip love, trans love, neurodivergent love and queer love show up in my life. It’s intended to be a monument to those I love and a celebration of all the incredible ways I’m lucky enough to be loved by them in return.

It’s mostly for my own edification, but if you have any stories of love you would like to share, I would be delighted to hear them

[flowercrowncrip]

Happy disability pride month to my disability sailing club who won our annual team racing event against the local kid’s sailing club for the first time in at least 5 years!

[flowercrowncrip]

I really like this event because it lets the kids practice their racing skills and also introduces them to the idea that disabled people have hobbies and also shows them what accommodating disability looks like in the context of something they enjoy.

They were a bit shy and didn’t say anything bit were obviously wondering at the race briefing about how someone like me in a big tilted back powerchair, neck brace and hand splints is able to sail. But then they see it. They see me and other people getting hoisted into the boats. They sail in our adapted boats so get to see how the steering and seating is different, and they can see how my seating looks different from other disabled people who don’t need the same support to stay sat upright.

I meet a lot of adults who were obviously never exposed to visible disability as a kid and sort of panic about how to talk to me or even just exist in the same general area as me. I really hope that these kids will have this memory as a sort of buffer against that panic and assumption that people like me are utterly unrelatable and incapable of anything at all.

[m-e-and-me]

10 reminders for disability pride month.

1. there will always be someone more severely affected by their disability than you are, this does not mean you aren't disabled, or that your struggles aren't real. these disabled people are not your enemy.

2. visibly disabled people are not treated better than invisibly disabled people, there are different struggles to both.

3. visibly & severely disabled people are not lucky for being visibly disabled or severely disabled. this belief is ableist.

4. we all need to keep the more severely disabled people in mind, they are the most vulnerable & this is disability justice 101.

5. there will always be severely disabled people in public, you absolutely need to work on your discomforts about the conditions/aids/symptoms/behaviours they might have; drooling, incontinence, "odd" behaviours, visible differences, use of AAC etc. this is a you problem, not a them problem.

6. there will always be symptoms of disabilities that you don't approve of; zero social awareness, cognitive impairments, violent meltdowns, strong smells & loud noises, being nonverbal/semiverbal etc. no one can force you to like it, but you cannot be cruel to them regardless of your opinions, again, this is a you problem & not a them problem.

7. you can still be ableist even if you yourself are disabled, this isn't always internalised, it can also be outright ableism.

8. caregivers of severely disabled people often play an important role in disability spaces, try not to *immediately* discount their experiences, unless they're truly over stepping, are being factually incorrect/uneducated or ableist. (caregivers can come with unique problems in disability spaces, 100%, but they are not inherently bad)

9. severely disabled people will have experiences you do not have, it is not an attack on you when these experiences are talked about.

10. “people wouldn’t say [ableist thing] to a wheelchair user” yes they would and yes they do.

and yes, some of these things that i've mentioned still applies to less severely disabled people, but goes especially for severely disabled people who often experience these things the most. be kind, be compassionate.

[normal-with-adhd-is-a-joke]

Hi if a disabled person relies on another living being (i.e. service dog, ESA, caretaker, their parents) don't ask them "what happens when they die?". Unless it's a situation where the person has opened themself up to be a source of information this question is invasive and can be stressful for the person you're asking. Believe it or not, most people don't want to think about the death of a person or animal that they have a positive relationship with, and that goes double when their health and wellbeing depends on that person or animal. Most disabled people have thought about this and have a plan in place, or if they're unable to make a plan like that, someone who's caring for them has. It's fine to be curious but please consider the emotions of disabled people when you ask us questions about our disabilities.

[theyaoimonster]

GRABS you by the THROAT. stop using "narcissistic", "slow", "depressed", "bipolar", "schizophrenic" and the literal R slur (i'm not saying it.) etc etc etc as insults. I don't care if you're neurodivergent and doing this you're still an ableist prick

[thecacophonyspeaks]

people need to learn the difference between reclamation and being a bigot, if you can reclaim one of these terms by being neurodivergent or disabled yourself, it doesn’t give you the right to use it hatefully, it’s still ableism if you’re using terms to hurt others under the guise of reclaiming them

[phleb0tomist]

so many people ive known have pushed themselves to burnout trying to deny their disabled reality, skipping accommodations, skipping rests etc. and the world convinces them that the solution to their burnout is to push even harder. it’s a huge tragedy. i know social pressures make it tough but i want more disabled people to make things easier for themselves where possible, to opt out of things that harm them when possible, to quit while they’re ahead. be that person today! protect yourself where you can! take micro breaks while doing your hobby. get that shower chair. sit to brush your teeth. lie down in the middle of the day, even if only for 5 mins. these things add up and it’s so worth it.

[phleb0tomist]

happy disability pride month! ACCOMMODATE YOURSELF TODAY!

[scribefindegil]

I'm still thinking about the guy who saw me realize my wheelchair wouldn't fit in the elevator because he (also a wheelchair user) was already inside it and immediately quipped, "This elevator ain't accessible enough for the both of us."

[theyaoimonster]

GRABS you by the THROAT. stop using "narcissistic", "slow", "depressed", "bipolar", "schizophrenic" and the literal R slur (i'm not saying it.) etc etc etc as insults. I don't care if you're neurodivergent and doing this you're still an ableist prick

[wheelie-sick]

it really irks me when people complain that so many of the autism diagnostic criteria and evaluations focus on external predictors rather than internal experiences.

so many autistic people (likely most) are diagnosed in early childhood. I was diagnosed at the age of three. I could not tell you what I struggled with and where. I was diagnosed based on external predictors rather than internal experiences (though that diagnosis did consider how those external predictors related to my internal experiences!)

the criteria should be expanded to include the experiences of older autistic people with the ability to self reflect but you can't eliminate the criteria that are externally visible.

those externally visible criteria aren't there because they want to define autism based on its impacts on others, they're there because that is frequently the only way you can tell.

[nostalgia-is-a-bitch-ah]

It's disability pride month

I hope you have disabled friends

[bearlyfunctioning]

Comic #355 : Chronic pain is isolating - Website links here ~ Here's a comic for the spoonies, the suffering and the lonesome. Let's take ibuprofen together 🐻💊 That's right it's a double length comic! I had a lot to say that wouldn't fit in 4 panels 🥲

[phleb0tomist]

he would not fucking say that, but with disability.. he would not fucking be able bodied. sick n tired of characters walking away from multiple life changing injuries without a scratch. let’s get some natural consequences in here.

give that knife/sword fight survivor nerve damage. give the character who was shot in the gut a stoma. give that fire survivor lung damage and an oxygen cannula. give that leg injury survivor a cane. give that starvation survivor gastroparesis. give that spinal injury survivor a manual chair or powerchair.

while we’re at it, give your characters congenital disabilities too, just because. give them intellectual and development disabilities. give them acquired and postviral illnesses. dare to make somebody bedbound. for me.

[bebsi-cola]

you know there's loads of pros and cons for disability aids but i have yet to see mentions about how rough various body braces can be for your skin. a synthetic material tightly wrapped around a body part for hours at a time? even a few minutes gives my skin grooves

[bebsi-cola]

july is disability pride month. it is also summer in the northern hemisphere, and this summer we have seen record breaking hot temperatures across the globe. it might be apt to remember that disabled people are a population vulnerable to extreme weather, and significantly more at risk of death or health issues during a heatwave. "the global mortality rate of people with disabilities in natural disasters is up to four times higher than people without disabilities." (source). disability may increase the relative risk of a heatwave more than old age, socioeconomic status, and being outdoors (source). even in the places most affected by the rising heat, disabled people are barely included in action plans for public safety, if at all (source). global warming is a an issue that affects a wide range of people, but let's not forget it is also a disability rights issue

[bebsi-cola]

I've found that people have this belief that if you explained that you were disabled, then actually the person giving you a hard time would relent. They assume that the only reason someone might be ableist about someone else is because they are simply lacking information, whereas I find that many people who jump to being ableist, inadvertently or otherwise, do not give a flying fuck if you cannot do [X action] because of a disability, and will in fact still demand you suck it up or stop making it everyone else's problem.

[dog-journey]

lyo_likes_to_talk on IG

1. I will always find it weird for an adult to think a child is being "manipulative" because a child quite literally doesn't have the brain development to understand what manipulation is or why they shouldn't be manipulative.

2. Yes, Disabled adults *can* be manipulative, as any adult can be. However, I think it's important to realize that Disabled people are somewhat set up to be strategic in order to get needs met. This can essentially train us to lean into manipulative behaviors. Direct and clear communication is often not only inconsistent, but we are also at high risk if it fails. This means that we can be placed in a similar state of vulnerability as children, where we simply have to be strategic to survive (or at least that is the instinct).

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened", ; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

to people that hide contraband in their assistive devices. to people that do party tricks they arent supposed to and people who will spit on you if you ask them to do party tricks. to people that weaponise the infantalisation of disabled people for their own purposes (theft et. al.). to the people who "misuse" their medication and people who dont take it at all. to my mother, who takes out her hearing aids when she doesnt want to hear shit anymore but will still pretend to be listening so you dont catch on. to people who sleep all the time and to people with "abnormal" circadian rhythms who are unwilling to alter their sleep/wake cycle to best appeal to societal (and moral) expectations. to people that complain loudly about inaccessibility and refuse to try and "make it work". to people that charge money for invasive questions and people that pretend not to understand the question at all.

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

this post is about how disabled people that do drugs and are bitchy are awesome and speaking as a mean cripple myself theres actually no need to bring the right to autonomy for abled people into it

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

like fucking obviously all people including abled people have a right to autonomy. why are we bringing this up now tho..............can we centre disabled people for like five fucking minute omg