A Very Critical Hat

[transgenderer]

you shouldnt have to pay for the dentist. the dentist should pay me for satsifying their weird fetish

[wakingfromthewater]

Still thinking about this mobile game ad I got. You will f**k increasingly large creatures.

[mousegirlheart]

um actually there's nothing wrong with letting cats be outdoor pets. your cat is depressed locked inside forever. it's animal abuse. let it outside. more cats should be let outside more often. especially overnight.

[captainwarbuckle]

It’s practically 2014 and you guys still don’t know how to google if an article is real or not before giving it 100,000 notes

[orangechickenpillow]

[lyrslair]

[noah-wyles]

she's the best of us

[noosferik]

I wish zeppelins were still a widely available means of transport, I'd love to travel the world on an amazing dirigible circuit

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[afieldinengland]

normal country latest

[redsunrisinginthesky]

[theladymisandry]

You CANNOT hide these in the tags @injuries-in-dust

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

[akindlyowl]

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

[yanmagotchi]

christian pitcher throws a christian baby

[valtsv]

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

[valtsv]

if you could see the thread i'm hanging on by you would not say these things to me

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

the thing about pineapple is that “as much as I want to eat in one sitting” regularly overlaps with “the amount you have to eat to take external damage from bromelain”

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[lakevida]

i think its charming when peoples personal lives improve and they get drastically worse at posting

[banchie]

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

[samglyph]

Funny when someone introduces you to something, you get really into it, and then they lose all interest in it. Oh so you’re just going to abandon me at the party you invited me to. Dude you were my ride.

[reddherring777]

me: yeah, so one of your most famous works is actually just that commission of a woman that you kept. Honestly, it's less of the piece itself that lead to its fame and more the mystery surrounding it, so I was hoping you could clear that up the decayed corpse of Leonardo Da Vinci that I resurrected: Hai detto che hanno chiamato una tartaruga che combatte il crimine con il mio nome?

[metal-autistic-coven]

Hang on let me translate something real quick

[metal-autistic-coven]

Yeah this is funny

[reddherring777]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Tumblr reply from briarBlackwellBooks reading: for those of you seeking the translation: "did you say they named a crime-fighting turtle after me?" /End ID]