i'm five foot ten!

[crngefail]

jessehart​:

.

Jesse’s eyebrows crept higher and higher on his forehead, doing his best to nod along to the rhythm Bobby was setting, but… there was none. Even still, he leaned into it, playing along to the absolute chaos that was Bobby’s mind. Genuine surprise at the lyrics pulled an involuntary snort from Jesse. Kinda sad that she’s dead but also not really, it’s just murder. “Jesus, dude, that’s…” Jesse stroked his chin as he considered his words, “something. You gonna lay the beat down like you did just now? It’d be more impressive that way, I think.”

.

“ what? ” bobby visibly deflates, losing all the confidence he’d had before he started rapping. he’d expected a more animated reaction from jesse, either howling with laughter or so impressed to the point he was speechless, but this was neither. “ yeah, yeah, i’ll do the beat. but what is it? be real with me. ” he speaks with so much sincerity, the corners of his lips drooping a little, that it would be hard to tell that the unspoken criticism he was being sensitive about was over a rap about a dead fellow student. “ is it too much rhyme? too long? too short? or is it just bad? ”

[crngefail]

ollieinoue​:

-

“I knowwww,” Ollie said, a little whiney and simpering in not at all a mocking way as he reached up and put his hands on either side of Bobby’s face squishing his cheeks. “Your life is so hard! But I’m not here to make it harder! That’s where you’re wrong, Bobby. I’m here to make it so much easier for you.” He didn’t know much about Bobby’s life, nor did he care much, but he really hoped he was not going to be running any future businesses. RIP to the world if so. Mentally Ollie had to step back and take a breather after Bobby offered him four times the amount he’d been aiming for at the beginning. He felt a little bad, and if he liked Bobby even a little he’d try to talk him back down to 500 bucks per 1000 words, but he really didn’t like Bobby much at all so … He didn’t feel bad about it. “Okay,” Ollie said as he gave a huff. He nodded head after feigning very serious thought about it, “two dollars per word, and you will be my top priority.” He wouldn’t be, he’d be as priority as everyone else was, but Ollie knew his type. He had to believe he was the most important person, and he was find letting him believe that. “What’s your favorite color? I like to color code things just to keep organized … You seem like a salmon type of guy… Also just wondering. If I had an onlyfans would you subscribe to it in order to get your work and stuff?” Thanks to his conversation with Charlie he was really considering this option, it was like money laundering through nudes. HIs business was booming and he couldn’t keep getting paid under the table.

bobby’s eyes widen when ollie’s hands finds his cheeks, puckered brows weighing down on his face, too thrown off guard by ollie’s sympathy to do anything about it. “ thank you, ” he says, touched. no need for critical thinking when someone seems to understand you, even if it is ollie inoue. “ people don’t usually believe me, that i’ve got a hard life. probably because i look like i’ve got everything. to be fair, i do have most things. but y’know — i guess that’s why they call you the wiz kid. ” but then he remembers who he’s talking to, there is no ‘even if’ when it comes to ollie, and the idea that this little wacky ass nerd could make his life so much easier wasn’t something he liked. “ don’t touch my face again, though. i know you don’t wash your hands, and i can’t be breaking out. my great aunt’s 80th is coming up. ” he hopes she croaks before it comes round. “ that’s what i’m talking about. see how easy that was once you just listened to me? ” he extended a hand out for a firm hand shake, as good businessmen do. top priority, he likes the sound of that. “ only because salmon’s the colour of your mom’s clitoritis. ” he shrugs annoyingly, pronouncing it as clit-or-eye-tis. “ i’m not telling you my favourite colour, dude. don’t try to get to know me. this is strictly business. actually, my favourite colour is air. try to colour code that, bitch. and hell no, i’m already paying you to do my work why would i pay you again, when i can see ugly dicks for free? as you’ve just now found out, i’m a man of quality. ” clearly he doesn’t understand the concept. 

[logiyande]

who: open

where: rumi cafe

"sorry, i just-" logan tried in vain to make eye contact with the barista, fingers drumming on the countertop. she wasn't one to complain, but it had been almost fifteen minutes since she had ordered her cold brew, no milk, no sugar, and she'd seen what appeared to be half the population of the school order after her and leave with their drinks. "it's just that i have class," she tried again, still failing to catch the attention of the baristas. come on, be normal, check on your coffee. anyone can do it. "i'm still waiting on my coffee!" she practically shouted, garnering the attention of not only the employees, but the entire cafe. fuck.

[crngefail]

bobby jumps, looks to the side of him. a beat of silence. this is perfect. so he continues, " and she’s still waiting on her coffee !!!!! " he stretches his arm out towards her, shaking it in her direction to make his point, which does nothing but draw more attention to her. except for bobby's, which is split between the barista being the target of his karen-isms and the drink in his hand containing a few slices of strawberries. " do you know how bad this looks for you? this ... person, " he points to logan again, " has been waiting for an hour for a coffee, and you nearly killed me with this drink. " he explains, standing on his toes. shaking his head, he turns to logan but his eyes are on the barista, " what do you think, should i tell my dad about this or not? "

[mysstikspiral]

[crngefail]

ajmusa​:

“well, gotta keep some secrets to myself right?” aj grins, trying to not let bobby’s antics bother them. he just nods, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked across the crowd. of fucking course bobby would be going for a ra, that was almost cliche. “felicity? are you forreal?” they scoff. “fine if you want a name, i can give you two initials right now.” turning he face him fully, eyebrows raised. “f and u. know anyone like that?” 

.

“ um, no. not right. you can’t keep secrets from me. we still have so much to catch up on, ” bobby says, as if he hadn’t encouraged greer and her ways in making aj work for her friendship. “ obviously i’m fucking for real — have you seen her? the spiciest of spices. wouldn’t even be able to get her on a hot wing, health and safety. ” probably would give him heart burn. “ f and u? ” he repeats the f over and over again, hoping for a name to pop into mind. “ feni ustor? i don’t know, dude. those are some next level initials. ”

[crngefail]

walshparker​:

—

quite the theatrical gasp left her mouth. what could she say, she was only the most dedicated theatre arts acting student in this… very staircase. if it weren’t for the way parker’s lips pulled into a smile, a sense of offence might’ve been convincing. but she was drunk, and the mention of her boyfriend was mirthful, and bobby was bobby. a mask, however flimsy, was useless. “next time i suck his face off, i’ll make sure you have front row seats.” hm. kinky. parker’s tone hadn’t been particularly suggestive—more so teasing—but, hell, the night had taken weirder turns already. if anything, her faux-threat fit the bill of revenge for his plan to rap about her kicking penny out of the D&D campaign.

penny. blergh.

“yes,” parker enthused at the idea—both of them—pointer finger nearly poking his sternum. god, she loved a good costume change. something that would make people do a double take and receive zero immediate explanation. “but i’m keeping my tights. believe me, they’re more trouble removing and putting on than they’re worth, with all the—” parker’s upper half folded some, hands briefly fiddling with one of the many bows that lined them, “holes and bows.”

.

“ not too close, though. you never know -- i’ll probably end up liking it, and i wouldn’t want to make a mess of things. ” did he really think he has the ability to get in between parker and jesse? no, not really. a couple willingly playing spin the bottle together had to be pretty strong. he can’t ever imagine being in a position where he’d be happy with someone else kissing their partner -- nothing to do with jealousy though, no. he wasn’t the jealous type. at all. “ aw what? ” disappointed, since her tights were his favourite part about her favourite, but he somewhat understood. he liked the idea in theory but he imagines after a few minutes the bows would be ruined and it’d look more like a rag that that a rabid dog has gone through rather than a pair of pretty tights. “ alright, fine. but i’m taking your wings, for sure. did you see musa’s? tryna outshine everyone, how dare they. ” he starts leading them back up the stairs, looking for somewhere where they could change. but a previous thought springs back to him. he looks back at parker, clicking his fingers as if he’d just remembered to ask, “ oh yeah! spin the bottle. you and jesse. other people, both times. weird or not weird? ”

[crngefail]

idaclarke​:

why were men like this! just go along with it! with a scoff and roll of her eyes, ida dropped her arm, crossing them over her chest instead. she didn’t even go to school with men, they were all just fucking boys. “i know ding-dong, i was just flirtin’ with you.” she explained, clearly annoyed now. reaching up, she flicked the middle of his forehead with her pointer finger and thumb. “it only doesn’t work for you bobby, you don’t ask the universe nicely enough.” just whines to it probably. 

.

bobby laughs, as close as embarrassed as he could get for someone with no shame. “ nooo, don’t stop flirting with me. i’ll die if you do, like a plant. ” he reaches out in an attempt to untangle her arms, opening her hands back out to return her finger back to where it had been. “ i’ve got a really good wish. you’ll love it. promise i’ll ask the universe super nicely. ” 

[crngefail]

idaclarke​:

“oohhh, and what men do?” ida teased, bringing up her hand to lean in, resting her chin atop it as her eyes very obviously scan across bobby. he’s a handsome fella, one she likes to string along and the two have this weird back and forth sort of energy. “i’ve heard that the cowboy life is an awfully lonely one.” she begins, her accent dipping into the pure thickness it was of her youth. “and that nothin’ makes it better than havin’ a pretty little lady to spend those cold nights with.” 

.

“ you mean, a pretty lady like you? i think that’d be real nice. ” there’s a giddiness brimming under the surface that’s certainly out of character at the prospect that maybe he’ll go back with ida tonight. ha! suck it, everyone else. he can never be sure with ida, never quite knows where he stands, and it’s something he finds super exciting. “ but before we ride off into the sunset together, i gotta ask. i’ve got two kids and their ma’s are absent and i get the feeling they’re craving their mother’s milk. would you be able to provide for them? ” 

[crngefail]

montyrichler​:

Cucky the clown. Okay, yeah, that was fucking good. He snorted under his breath, head shaking as he approached the sink and willed himself not to smile. If Bobby got even a whiff of encouragement, he’d become an unstoppable monster. Not that he wasn’t already. Monty ignored him for the most part, not caring that he crowded right up to his shoulder, but as he turned on the tap, he caught a glimpse of Bobby actually reaching for his fly in the mirror and registered the imminent danger. “Bro, back off!” He cocked his elbow to knock into Bobby’s chest, shoving him off while turning around, genuinely worried for a split second that he was going to undo his pants. Maybe not to literally piss on him, but potentially menacing him with his (hopefully) flaccid penis would be bad enough. Is this what it was like to have a psychotic older brother? “Go spread your honey somewhere else, dude, I’m not a fire hydrant.” Monty’s brows leapt before asking, “Have you spoken to the school psychiatrist about these urges? I think you need to get on some new meds.”

.

“ calm down, ” bobby cackles, hands instinctively rising to push monty back as he stumbles backwards. there’s a wild, childlike spark in his eyes, as if monty’s reaction is a red flag dangling in front of him and he’s an unsuspecting bull. but in reality he’s a chihuahua, barking away as if he’s a german shepherd. “ what urges? you literally fucking asked for it. ” bobby unzips his pants back up. there’s something quite satisfying about this moment, not only because it’s monty, but he knows this is something his brothers would find funny. like, if they were here, they’d pat him on his back, point and laugh and say ‘good one’. “ how about you invest in some breath mints? because the smell that’s coming out of there-- ” he wiggles a finger, pointing to monty’s mouth, “ --that’s a craiglist ad, begging for someone to piss in your mouth. ” and then, like a dog that doesn’t know any better, he’s charging into monty’s space again by the sink, hands cupping beneath the tap and splashing the water up at monty’s face.

[reinaazarolla]

"Okay, not at the same exact time but you know, within a day." Reina laughed. That was still very rare but it might be something some couples hope for, to never live a day without the other. "The Notebook is there just to remind girls of an epic love story they'll never have. Also, Rachel and Ryan are both very attractive in that film." She furrowed her brows at his next comment. "You're not old either, how do you know when we get old we'll become like that?"

[crngefail]

" how is that an epic love story? it's literally so lame. the guy's a fucking loser -- she should've gone with that other one. " that guy was rich, good looking and pretty nice! it just wasn't realistic, and bobby thinks he knows all about love now, so he can see things for what they really are. " you know what is an epic love story? ja rule and ashanti. gotta get you someone that's always on time. " he won't argue about how they were both attractive then, but out of all the ryans his favourite was seacrest. " i just know these things. all the ones alone end up like that, and the married ones hate their partner. trust me, i've spent a lot of time with old people. it's why i have this old soul vibe going on. "

[crngefail]

mari-zuko​:

“I didn’t say everyone knew,” Mari said, rolling her eyes. Though, well…at times it had seemed like everyone knew. About Jesse, at least. Mari had known. She figured that she wasn’t aware of Milo for several reasons, Greer not about to enlighten her about the fact that she had also been hooking up with her roommate. Though she couldn’t help but wonder if the same had been true in response. Or if when she had told Milo, at New Year’s….if his lack of reaction had been because he had already known. 

Go fuck someone in Maine. 

Mari let out a surprised laugh, shooting Bobby a slightly bewildered expression, unsure if he was aware of the Zuko’s family summer camp (read: a five bedroom waterfront cape cod) in Bar Harbor, or if that comment had been slightly too on the nose. “Greer and Milo were friends before Milo and Diego,” she said, not about to ask - maybe Mari was just over-sensitive about the whole subject. There was no way Bobby had ever picked up on anything between her and Greer. She let out a loud sigh, head tipping backwards before she looked at Bobby with the utmost exasperation. “I don’t know, Bobby. I don’t think so? But it’s not like I knew what Greer was doing every night.” At least every night she wasn’t with her.

.

the sound of mari’s laugh makes bobby smile brightly, like he’d just won big on the slot machine. not that he’d know what that’s like -- big boy tables with high stakes only -- but he imagines it’s a lot like drawing one laugh out of mari for every ten eye rolls. and he thinks if he can manage that then he’s solid. it is important to bobby to make his friends laugh and perhaps, out of everyone, at least recently, mari ranked pretty high in terms or priority. “ if that was an acceptable rule, do you know how many people i would’ve smashed in high school? literally too many to count. ” he blames sassa for his body count being so low and embarrassing. “ so no, one and two were friends before three and four but two plus two always equals four. ” he shrugs and gives her a look as if to say: it is what it is. 

and there it was, the look he’s used to. he laughs, as always. makes him feel special. “ yeah, you’re right. i feel like if there were more, we’d know about it. like, she couldn’t have slept with all these people and not have it come out. ” bobby groans, wishing she would just come back because he was getting bored of all of this! “ shall we send her a selfie? guilt trip her a little, from like the two people she hasn’t slept with on campus. i think it’ll work. ”

[crngefail]

ironlvngs​:

     every time he thinks he’s prepared for bobby’s logic, link comes up empty-handed — might as well have the buffering sign appear over his head right now. “ you can’t be fuckin’ serious, right ? ” a small scoff escapes him. “ i could put your name in caps, italics, and bold and put it up in a post for everyone to see. doesn’t mean fucking shit, does it ? ” thus far, link hasn’t really been giving much of a shit about what bobby was trying to say — at the end of the day, it’s bobby. so much shit comes out of his mouth, that he finds it hard to believe that his word would be influential at all. but when he’d made that statement about greer and what she did or didn’t give a shit about, a nerve was struck. “ i’m certain i knew her much better than most of you dipshits. ” and he hated that he was trying to prove something to bobby, of all people — all those years of being around greer, link never gave a fuck about what other people thought the nature of their relationship was. all he really focused on was greer. but the difference between then and now is link’s ass on the line, thanks to g making him look guilty. well, he was… just nothing that had to do with greer. “ when you’re done playing detective fuckwad on me, why don’t you text me ? we can hang out when you stop being delusional. ” sucking him dry of his money sounded especially good today. 

.

“ it would if you were g and you knew everyone’s shit, but you’re not and you don’t. except for greer’s which you were obviously blackmailing her about, otherwise you wouldn’t be getting so defensive. ” bobby’s feeling cocky, almost triumphant, that he’s managed to lead link right where he wants them to be. or so he believes. “ aww. okay, yeah. of course you did. ” he puts a hand over his chest mockingly, as if he’s a parent not wanting to burst a child’s bubble about how santa claus is real, and that they’ll grow out of their ugly phase. except he’s very much the type of person to let kids know the truth. then, he cracks a smirk, “ you little delulu head. ” the way greer made everyone believe they knew her better than everyone else was, well, it was impressive, really. but it made him laugh when people like link crawford took that stance. oh greer, what the fuck did you do to these poor kids? “ here’s the deal -- if i find out you were fucking with greer, i’ll fucking kill you, and i’m gonna be on your ass about it ‘til it comes out. ” as far as weirdo friends he’d made at ogden goes, link was one of the better ones and there was no need to lose them until he had to. “ but until then, i’m gonna be out tonight so ... call me beep me if you wanna reach me. ”

[crngefail]

court-mills​:

Court’s lips parted to retort to Bobby, though embarrassment hit him a moment later, a flush coming to his cheeks causing him duck his head instead, a small exhale of laughter the only response he gave instead. He didn’t know how to act around Bobby, if he was being honest, the other seeming desperate to act like their brief fling had never even happened, leaving Coco spending the occasional moment even wondering if it had, the ease with which he had seemed to brush it off. But he didn’t want to seem like he was clingy or hung up on someone who had rejected him, more and more determined to appear as if it didn’t bother him either. “Lie? On Valentine’s Day? I could never,” he answered, a smile wide on his face as he glanced back up at Bobby. “You look great,” Court added a moment later, the words quieter, more earnest.

.

“ yeah, i do, don’t i? ” bobby opens the front camera on his phone and holds it up as he admires himself in the reflection, looking at himself from different angles and fixing the front curls of his hair. taking a couple of selfies, he airdrops it to everyone as a valentine’s day gift, and whilst he does that he says, “ i like your shirt -- might have to borrow it sometime. ” finally he looks up from his phone, and takes a moment to look at coco. maybe it’s all in his head but bobby felt like coco was way more fun on his dates with monty and ida. ida he could understand but monty?! regardless of what happened between them, even if he had cheated on coco, surely he’d be a better time than monty. this won’t do. shuffling around on his feet, he leans forward a little. “ so, shall we cut to the chase and you can give me a foot job whilst i check my emails? ”

[crngefail]

anyaexe​:

.

all anya can think to do is blink. as though with each rapid movement of her eyelids, there is a chance that the trajectory of the conversation may change. does she give off straight vibes? is there something wrong with her? is there something wrong with him, for not noticing? the possibilities are endless, and they don’t particularly like any of them. she just taps one of the stickers on the back of their mac then, a little heart with the lesbian flag colours in a diffused gradient. “you baffle me,” is all she says, ignoring both the comment about the hair and the sex.

though, the revelations offered in regards to the brush makes her wish they’d lingered on the topic of anya’s sexuality for just a brief moment longer. “i’m not even going to ask. i don’t want to know.” a pause. and then, even though they suspect trying to offer a technical explanation may be futile: “it’s a gateway to the rest of your shit, right. if your toothbrush is connected to the same network as your computer, you can use it as a springboard. does that make sense? so because your toothbrush is unprotected, it’s easier to get at all your other data.”

“out of curiosity – do you get like, loads of scam emails? or phone calls?”

.

“ aww, you’re welcome. ” bobby smiles widely. he’ll turn anything into a compliment if he can, and he doesn’t have to twist and turn a phrase like ‘you baffle me’ into something else because he takes it as a good thing. having any sort of impact on someone was better than having none. anya’s explanation makes sense and he grows concerned at all the things someone could find on his cloud -- text messages, voicemails, and fuck, even voice memos -- and it starts to show on his face. “  well ... yeah, i think so. but i thought that was just because i’m, like, super popular, ” he re responds, clearly distracted, mind having drifted off else where, but he thought all the spam made sense. lots of recruiters contacting him about job openings since he was highly employable with lots of work experience such as paying someone to pay people to run his businesses for him. even if fake, he was a good target. he looks down at his apple watch, suddenly feeling the burn around his wrist, takes it off and stomps on it with the heel of his foot. “ fuck that, ” he mutters. “ not gonna lie, you’re kinda freaking me out now. why are you asking me all these questions? do you know something? ” 

“oh, you only buy organic hoodies now? do you get them at whole foods next to the kale?” she griped as she snatched it right back out of the laundry basket, “folding” it the best that she could before she threw it on the designated laundry chair. she swallowed her laugh as she grabbed a pillow off her bed and whacked him as hard as she could in the head. “um, that sounds really interesting to me. but sure, go ahead and tell me about jacking off in your room, all alone, looking at my instagram. i’m just dying to hear about that, you jackass.”

[crngefail]

" yup. right next to your bamboo vajazzle gems. " then his wide grin is wiped off with a smack to the face. " ow !! " he shouts in pain, grabbing onto the pillow to snatch it away from her, before he breaks out into a boisterous laugh, knowing he could trust charlie to always match his verbal spar. " gladly, " he says with a hand over his chest. " first of all, it's way more hygienic. i can use my tears instead of my spit, gets me going a bit better. and you'll be happy to hear that in about two years time, i'll have gone through all the 'i fucked my new step mom' category so i'll be well prepped to make you the happiest and most sexually satisfied -- barely -- living and breathing thing on the planet. "

[crngefail]

ollieinoue​:

-

Ollie stares at Bobby for a few moments in silence. Blinking a few times, and just… watching him. You would think he’d spoken to the guy enough times that it wouldn’t be a surprise every single time he spoke, and yet here they were. Ollie raised his hands, and gave Bobby a bright smile, “you’re right. That was a test,” he said reaching out and booping him on the nose. “I have to make sure I’m not going to be talking circles around the people I’m working with! I like to have relationships with them, you know? That way it makes it easier for me to personalize the work I get them, so it seems like it’s really from them” He shrugged his shoulders a little and brought his hand up to his chin, like he was considering things. “Well, I wouldn’t want to fuck you. Not like this anyway,” he said, a coy smile before giving a small hum. “I charged Greer 1 dollar for each word,” he didn’t, “but I don’t think I’d ask you to give me the same. It’s just that she demanded a certain caliber of work, and money is a good motivation. Obviously. Hm. what about only 50 cents per word? That’s half off what Greer was giving me! And like 1/10th of what I was just going to charge you a second ago.” As far as Bobby’s math skills said, anyway… “I know you know a good business investment when you see one.”

.

bobby scrunches his features as if to say: what? because he’s confused as to how it’s a test, but he feels the need to boop ollie’s nose back. if he gets a boop, then bobby also gets a boop. but then gets lots in ollie’s explanation, and his confusion slowly turns into irritation because he’s starting to feel stupid. “ woah, woah, woah, -- what?! ” all this talk about relationships and ollie wanting to fuck him, not like this, but probably in every other way that was humanly possible, on top of all the fractions and other shit ollie was throwing out there was making his head spin. he needed this written down. “ the fuck are you testing me for? my life is hard enough as it is. ” as a rich white man, his struggles were real and more important than everyone else’s. “ okay, i’m trying to do a super nice thing for you here but you’re kind of making it hard for me to feel good about it. ” he ran a hand through his hair. the comment about not asking bobby to give the same as greer particularly sticking out -- half? did ollie think bobby deserved half of what greer got? because, what, he was half the person greer was? ridiculous. he wasn’t having any of it. “ you know what? two dollars for each word and make my shit twice as better as greer’s, and if it’s not then i’ll know because -- whatever, i’ll just know. ”

[milonavarroo]

He snorts as the bottle stops on Bobby, the other man making as big of a deal about it as Milo expected him to. There were worse things that could have happened however, so he wasn’t going to complain (despite how much he liked to do it). He pushed himself up and followed him towards the closet, stopping short of entering and rolling his eyes. “Get in there,” Milo said, his hand indeed coming down to smack Bobby across the ass with a sharp ‘crack’ sound. Probably a little rougher than he needed to, but some people made it necessary. He pushed Bobby into the closet and closed the door behind them. “Thanks,” Milo said, and tilted his head a little as he looked at Bobby. “Kind of seems like your lucky lucky day. I know how long you’ve wanted to kiss me for, bro” he said, taunting, and a little curious if that was actually true. Of course Milo had no problem with it, but he had to give Bobby shit about it first.

[crngefail]

" oof, " he bounces after the ass slap, rubbing where milo's hand had been, really feeling the love, before he stumbles into the closest once milo pushes him in. " well, if you've known all this time then why haven't you done anything about it? " bobby liked to walk a fine line between flirting as banter and flirting as flirting, only ever deciding what side he was on after seeing the other's response. though there haven't been many incidences where the humiliation has been too much for bobby to feel inclined to save himself from failing to shoot his shot with a 'i was kidding'. and he feels like there is the same margin of safety here with milo, like he could try and shove his tongue down milo's throat and they'd walk out of here without anything having to change. " before you answer, i've gotta put it out there that i have had a sex dream about you, and it was fucking sick. so if you've received bad feedback in the past, like, two or three weeks then i'd rather keep that memory safe in the wank bank. "