I'm gonna be real, I forgot I had this blog...? I literally just happened to stumble upon it a couple hours ago while browsing some tags LMFAO
(If any of my followers are still active, everything below the cut is just me rambling about a lot of personal stuff so ignore this post if ya want :) )
Apparently I've had this blog since September 2015, which is absolutely fucking crazy bonkers to think about. Like bro the fuck you mean I was 13 when I made this?? I wasn't even in high school yet and now I'm going into my third year of university this fall??
It's honestly pretty interesting to see how things have changed for me through the lens of my Tumblr blogs. I don't really have any of the same interests now as I did when I was active on this account (besides art), which I mean I suppose is to be expected when you go from 13 to (almost) 22, but still? Like bro I was posting about MHA, VLD, Homestuck, Yuri On Ice (RIP), Steven Universe, and even goddamn Gravity Falls towards the beginning. Wild
But on a more serious note, it's also very clear to me how absolutely fucking not-okay I was back then. I've found occasional vent posts about hating myself and wanting to die and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking to look back on. Like, I'm not perfect nowadays (there is a lot of room for improvement tbh), but I haven't wanted to die in a long time. I love being alive! It's great! Even when I'm feeling lonely, angry, and sad, I want nothing more than to fix the issues I have so I can live.
And oooohh my god, I made this blog during the time when I discovered I was trans. That's another cool thing. I thought I started identifying as not-cis in mid-2016, but I just discovered a post from December 2015 where I put in the tags that I use they/them pronouns!! So now I know that my gender journey started at least 6 months earlier than I thought!
I don't know dude, it's just really cool to me to find some more of my old stuff, ya know? I'm the sort of person who likes to save absolutely everything, so whenever I find my own ""lost media"" I get super excited, haha. I like seeing how I've grown and changed over the years. It's a nice reminder to myself that I'm not the same, quite frankly, asshole teenager I was back then, even when it sometimes feels like I've made zero progress on myself.
So, yeah. I probably made finding an old blog way deeper than it needs to be, but whateverrrr bro I am alive and I can do whatever I want forever. I'm not gonna use this blog anymore after this post, except to log in every once in a while. My current blog is trail-of-ice. I dunno if anyone's reading this except me, but if anyone is, I guess I just want to say, it does get better. :)
sometimes i wake up in the dead of night in a cold sweat and remember the edge of spiderverse comic gerard way wrote that made the evangelion kids canon to the marvel universe
apply for jobs you’re not qualified for! audit upper-level classes! get drunk with your TAs! see that poster advertising that lecture series? go there take notes and ask questions! thank the presenter for talking about this topic you love! if the class is full before you register, email the professor and ask if they can squeeze you in! RAISE YOUR HAND! tell the disability accomodation office to do their goddamn job! ask for help! file complaints! go to class in your pajamas and destroy the reading! you got this! you KNOW you got this! be arrogant enough to learn EVERYTHING! take your meds! punch a velociraptor in the dick! fear is useless and temporary! glory is forever! shed your skin and erupt angel wings! help out! spread your sun!
i had a really good morning! you deserve a really good morning! kill anyone who says you don’t and build a throne from their bones!
u know what … i changed my mind… all u scientists out there who worked ur butts off just to have your research purposefully ignored by the government… do your science thing and bring back the dinosaurs… catch them ignoring you when a velociraptor is our next president…. like ding dong what’s that? it’s science, it doesn’t care about your silly ignorant opinion… it’s back with a vengeance… and it’s hungry, bitch
1) beautifully constructed, thoughtfully named, you’ve had this character for five years, and it is only now that you have a medium to express them through. twenty pages of backstory and lore, you probably lovingly crafted a costume or a token to fully bring them to life.
2) it’s you, but you’re now a warlock or a paladin or some shit.
3) Its Joke (ex. Boo Boo the Chaotic Good Barbarian, Dio Brando but as a dryad, etc.)
4) Real Ass People (ex. Hatsune Miku, Barack Obama, Hulk Hogan, etc.)
reminder that being suicidal is a SERIOUS problem. i know this website has normalized the idea that having suicidal thoughts isn’t something that requires medical attention, but i promise it is and if you’re frequently having suicidal thoughts then it’s crucial for you to seek help.
Me, a femme, hanging out at the lesbian bar with my butch gf, frantically tangling your fishing hooks together so when you try to reel them in its like the spaghetti scene in lady and the tramp: find eachother you sweet, beautiful, useless lesbians
