Absolute Guy of All Time

🐝 Late 20's // Rogue Zoologist Big Nature Nerd // Lesbian // I love my wife and also bees 🐝

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

[mxtomituck]

[mathani]

Any point on torus lies on four circles on torus.

[smoqueen-deactivated20251108]

scissoring

[bgm05]

Just graduated from Begging Dog University with a master’s in Boiling Water

[nohoperadio]

just saw a pigeon doing the puffed up courtship dance thing to another pigeon, and as he was strutting around he suddenly stopped for a split second to do a very brief preen-peck at his own side, then returned to the strutting around. and i surprised myself by instantly losing respect for the male pigeon in that moment, like come on man i appreciate you had an itch or whatever but how is she supposed to feel special when you're getting distracted by bullshit like that? which on reflection i don't endorse, i mean those are pretty harsh dating norms i'm imposing on these pigeons, from a total outsider perspective, for no reason. probably not all girl pigeons are as uptight about that sort of thing as i would apparently be if i was a girl pigeon, maybe she even found it endearing who knows, i don't know her. it's none of my business really. sorry pigeons.

[crescentalice]

girl with ptsd voice: hey, so something really bad is gonna happen, right? you guys are picking up on that too, yeah? The other shoe is about to drop, I just know it.

[creepycrag]

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

[3ofusjust3]

kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy kill kill crush hit smash kill kill kill kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill destroy destroy crush hit smash kill kill kill kill hit smash kill bite tear rip destroy kill kill kill maim stab shoot punch kill kill kill maim stab

[joeyclaire]

[luxwing]

GAMING NEWS !!

expensive

[luxwing]

[crackedpolishedblackstonebrick]

posts funnier with timestamps on

[snydog17]

they love me because I be saying shit like alas and perchance

[snydog17]

last night I said 'how fortuitous' unironically

[twistedhellknight52]

i have acid reflux too, so we are together in this mr twistedhellknight52

Only I have it.

[akashicrecord]

you ever been milked big time?

I was the only almond at Silk for 5 years

[spiribia]

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

[evilscientist3]

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

[ttechniic]

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

[evilscientist3]

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

[ttechniic]

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

[evilscientist3]

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

[ttechniic]

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

[siderealglimmer]

[divenlydecayed-deactivated20260]

Did you hear a new love language just dropped? yeah its crazy. Its called just fuckin biting them.

[k1ntsug1-r0b0t-g1rl]

reblogging this but shaking my head the whole time to show i don't believe in love languages

[crowdokobolds]

Reblogging this while biting someone and shaking my head the whole time to rend flesh

[rexuality]

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

[cryptotheism]

Imagine a bladeless knife with no handle. Now put the handle back. Now put the blade back. Yaaaay! everything okay! Yaaaaaaay!

[quadriceps-deactivated20171230]

why is muriel from courage the cowardly dog with that ugly beast he don’t even got teeth she need to get with a real man like me