[dogpuppy]

[deanwinchesterapologist]

nothing wrong with me

[flutterbvnny]

daddy has regretfully informed kitten that we need a dual income household to survive

[ooppo]

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

[the-infinite-casmos]

[ooppo]

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

[ooppo]

Ohhhh yeah

[roswellsoup]

bonus/proof:

we tipped her well dw. best waitress ever 🍒

[strange-aeons]

Slurping His Wrinkles Saturday

[strange-aeons]

If I don't see any code geass cosplayers at the revolution themed dashcon I'm gonna be ... well, unsurprised. Because it's a largely forgotten show from 2006. But still slightly sad ... because the revolution themed dashcon is an excellent habitat for code geass cosplayers

[strange-aeons]

Come on guys u wanna watch Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion (2006) so bad

[lostlite]

The world's very last smol bean was harvested this morning

[thomasmomwell]

[proxima-bee]

can you imagine how good shows would be if writers thought of women as human beings

[thewizardofhoes-speaking]

[knightf1sh]

”Protect the kids!” Unless they’re queer, trans, intersex, non-white, then you suddenly don’t give a shit about the kids.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

they don't give a shit about any kids.

I see this "protect the kids unless they're..." gotcha attempt constantly and it's really fucking grating because no, fascists do not care about straight cis white kids either. fascism is desperate for children to exist as a resource to be exploited, to make up the numbers of their fantasy ethnostate, to ensure the propagation of their preferred bloodlines, etc, but kids as actual real human beings - regardless of their identities or origins - are not loved or respected under fascism. they are targeted for brainwashing. their lives are aggressively controlled to prevent them from developing their own thoughts, views, or understandings. they are severely punished for any failure to progress toward their future roles as cogs in the fascist machine.

straight cis white abled male children are not privileged under fascism, they are cultivated.

[remakesihavetoremake-deactivate]

I know everybodys talking about the article but its this tweet itself that makes me lose my shit

[loismacgiver-deactivated2018061]

tinder link in bio.

[swoopyswish]

the replies:

[newtgeiszler]

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

[funnelcloudd]

[probably-crazy-writer]

I’m sobbing

[kleefkruid]

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

[ballzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz]

[ihavemace]

[bisexual-engineer-girl]

her pussy

[transfeminine-anarcho-post-egg]

OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.

[gigglepuffpixie]

get back here and share that with the class

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i need to come up with a way to say “i mean like, movies for grownups” that doesn’t make me feel like a villain

[cheaphalloweencostume]

*peeks in the replies* *gets really nervous and locks my house up and leaves*

[cheaphalloweencostume]

well, i mean more like La Piscine or Mulholland Drive,

[maripands]

[phantomrose96]

If you are a PET trying to help your HUMAN just remember the acronym WAY

Are you in the Way?

Are you in the wAy?

Are you in the waY?

If the answer to all three is YES then you are HELPING 👏👏👏

[strange-aeons]

FATHER WE MUST HAVE MORE BALD BIGLES

[strange-aeons]

Clearly you don't own an air fryer

[anphivenas]

Your father use to roleplay as a tape worm for my pleqsure

[cheddar-baby]

hope he did a good job at least. Didn't embarrass the whole family.

[anphivenas]

He strutted his shit kinda

[foopsie-daisy]

I think its funny when they do this

[foopsie-daisy]

I liked them a lot so i made them a real boy