jonathan sims top character of all time. his best friend is his ex-girlfriendâs cat. he doesnât drink coffee. he lies about his age but everyone believes him because he acts like a 60 year old man. the second heâs faced with death he asks his coworker if heâs a ghost. he later falls in love with that coworker. instead of having a beautiful narrative arc about the importance of friendship and surrounding yourself with anchors he had a meat freak rip out his rib. heâs canonically asexual.























