Cryptid In The Theatre Cellar

I also go by Preter, Preternatural, and Cryptid, They / Them, Lesbian / Dyke, a now less casual Hellenic Polytheist (mean reconstructionalist, wiccans beware), bored college kid history major, Current fandoms: Black Butler, Bullet Train, John Wick, Disco Elysium, SCP, anything Seanan Mcguire, Cyberpunk 2077, Interview With the Vampire, Heated Rivalry

[banyanbonanza]

[sigmaleph]

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing

[thememedaddy]

[notgilderoylockhart]

subscribing to a fic isn’t enough I need the author to blast a bat signal into the night sky whenever they update

[brainstreams]

[transformativeworks]

[ID: A screenshot of Boromir of Gondor from Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, standing in Rivendell and staring (at either Legolas or Aragorn) off camera. The subtitle has been edited to say

AO3 has no App.

AO3 needs no App.

/ID]

[whitewolf-the-unforgiven]

[azaablue]

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

[agathah]

MUAHAHAHAHA SAVE ME YURI HANNIGRAM SAVE MEE

[thememedaddy]

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

I had dinner with my family tonight and my mom was talking about things I did as a kid and I don’t remember this but apparently they took me to a soccer game once and some grown man was picking on me and I just reached over and stuck my gum in his leg hair and kept doing what I was doing and omg I’m so sad I can’t remember doing that

[catdraegon14]

I AM FREAKING WHEEZING RIGHT NOW HOW DO YOU NOT REMEMBER STICKING GUM IN HIS LEG HAIRRRRRRRRRRR

*laughing and suffocation noises*

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Oh it gets better, she had a second story

Apparently at daycare one day they got a call because apparently a little boy had been annoying me while I was talking to another kid, and I was turned away trying to ignore him but he wouldn’t stop getting on my nerves so apparently I turned around and looked at him spit directly in his face then turned back around and continued my conversation like nothing happened and the daycare worker called my mom about it, I can’t remember that either but omg child me was built different apparently

[rainbowprisimatic]

Sounds like you were a very baller kid. This is hilarious omg

[mimosa-sex-tea-people-contrsf]

Genuinely makes me wish I remembered what I was like behavior wise as a child because I remember I had rampant adhd and I remember a boy trying to kiss me in 1st grade and me punching him in the face for it, so apparently I was just like that

[themothhour]

To be fair, Idk if Will would have said yes had Hannibal just been normal about everything.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Best youtube essays are made by people who have good camera presence, excellent research standards, and 1-2 extremely niche pet peeves that aren't the focus of the video but will tangentially come up and they'll have to make a supreme effort not to spend an hour complaining about.

[irreparableteacup]

[anoldfriendfordinnerr]

[stitchposts]

what is your LEAST favorite stitch?

I don't like counted work at fucking all. So: the cross stitch.

[rabbitindisguise]

reading this as someone who does cross stitch but is scared of the other kinds of embroidery is like overhearing an incredibly tall and buff person say they have beef with Mr. Tom, the kitten that chills at the bookstore

[stitchposts]

FUCK Mr. Tom and his stupid little fluffy tail ok. And his little charted designs.

[the-dragongirl]

Okay, but this neglects the true villain of embroidery stitches: the French knot

[stitchposts]

Don't you dare malign my girl again

[im-a-dream-wizard]

Ok the french knot is very useful but it is a BITCH to do it consistently

[stitchposts]

[ao3-anonymous]

We talk about how this website’s hate mail game is insane, but this might just be a new level

[talbatross]

"skill issue" made entirely from French knots is a next level roast. no coming back from that one. damn

[geyfrog]

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

[you-think-it-makes-you-special]

"can mutuals dm?" "can mutuals ask for discord?" "can mutuals-"

mutuals could literally use me as a topic for a research paper and i would be grateful