somebody call me right one, somebody call me wrong

Millennial, she/her, love books/movies/tv/fic, love the sea and nature, BTS ARMY, currently obsessed with Heated Rivalry

[tea-and-sea]

Hello!

I haven’t had a blog in some time, although I used to be on this site way back when (over a decade ago - I remember the colour of the sky 👵🏼). In recent years I’ve stepped away a lot from social media as I can get overwhelmed by it and get, like, online social anxiety. But recently I’ve found myself missing having an outlet. So here I am!

Some things about me: I love movies, books, TV, fanfic - stories, basically. I love to write but find it hard to find the willpower and energy a lot these days, though am trying again. I also love music and am so excited to be seeing BTS this year! I love the sea, and love being in nature almost as much as being in bed with a tea and a book. I’m left-wing, and have no sympathy for bigotry of any kind. I’ve recently begun the process towards trying to get an autism (and possibly ADHD) diagnosis, after being flagged for neurodivergence as an adult woman.

I’m pretty private and also have a demanding and public-facing job. I don’t know how much I’ll be posting here, but this is me, anyway, just in case anyone wants to interact!

What drove me to set this up now was thoughts on Heated Rivalry, especially worries (and wishes!) for S2, and I have a long post about that ready to go. But I hope to post about lots of things again.

So that’s me. Hello! ☕️🌊.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

On the subject of Shane's pay cut at the end of tlg - idk, I think it was a no win situation all around. I think it was probably for the best to glaze over it, because trying to dive into it seriously wouldn't have looked good on anyone.

Sure Ilya could take a pay cut, but then it'd be 2 queer players who aren't getting paid what they're worth. Publicly, it would look like Ottawa only took them because they came cheap, 2 for the price of 1. And narratively it might have come off as Shane valuing his public image over Ilya's, something that had already caused friction in the book. It would look like he was regressing.

And sure the rest of the Centaurs could take a pay cut. But it's wouldn't read well as a viewer. Because Shane is going to go to Ottawa basically no matter what. That much the reader knows. If he took money from the Centaurs, he would be doing it strictly to save face.

And a team taking a pay cut to play with a great player is one thing; having them take a pay cut to spare his feelings is another. And maybe the characters wouldn't know he was always going to sign there, but the reader would. And it would feel weird to essentially watch Shane and Ilya trick their new teammates into financing an emotional bandaid.

It would also feel a little bitter on any reader who like the Centaurs. Because the Centaurs already face a ton of humiliation in-universe just being the Centaurs: worst team in the league. Even Shane talks down about them. You spend the whole book rooting for them as underdogs, watching them grow from a joke to an actual competitive team. Having them pay money to essentially soothe Shane's pride would feel bad - yes you want Shane to be paid his worth, but not at the cost of anyone else. Bood and Troy and Luca also deserve to be paid their worth, ya know?

I think the main problem is that any attempt to make up Shane's pay would be performative in-universe, and possibly reflect badly on the character as a reader. He's not going to be making the same amount no matter what, and he's going to Ottawa no matter what. These things are set in stone. Discussing it in length would only bring attention to a problem that doesn't have a good answer.

Narratively, I think it was just something better glazed over. When Ilya tells Shane to consider he has a rich husband, it's more of a joke than anything. And he does agree that Shane deserves to be paid his worth. But their conversation isn't being too serious at the moment - it's just an emotionally charged rant when Shane is feeling mad after the trip. It's not a planning moment or even a serious discussion moment, and Ilya doesn't even think Shane is serious about leaving Montreal.

Idk, I think this is one of those times where it was better that RR didn't go into detail. It leaves enough space for the reader to decide for themselves the details of Shane's salary. Maybe the team did take a pay cut, maybe Ilya did, maybe someone retired. For the sake of the story, it doesn't really matter. Kinda frustrating if you really care about that, but there are a TON of things that RR doesn't go into depth over because that's simply not the story she wants to tell. Maybe it'll come up in Unrivaled, who knows.

I do agree that RR doesn't dive deep enough into Shane's ethnicity, but that's more of a "writer didn't consider exactly how deep a rabbit hole went before she put it in" type thing.

Anyway this isn't a criticism on you or your take, which is valid. I just think it's an interesting subject to think about. I love snapping birch btw

So I’m gonna respectfully disagree with all this.

First, don’t agree that it looks like Ottawa only got them because they came 2 for the price of 1. Because they can’t do that. They already have Ilya.

Ilya is under contract. His contract is not expiring. He is entitled to the full amount of that contract unless they agree to execute a mutual termination and renegotiate a new amount to free up some cap space. Any downward departure cannot happen without Ilya making it happen.

Let’s say Ilya is getting paid $17.5M. But they only have the cap space to give Shane Hollander $2M. Ilya has the freedom to say “hey, lets mutually terminate and I will re-sign for $10M or however far of a downward departure that the NHL will approve. Give the other $7M to Shane. We will be paid roughly in line with each other, and it will be clear to everyone watching that we are making a salary sacrifice to make this team a cup contender.”

The optics are completely different on that decision. Shane is leaving his team in disgrace. But Ilya is an established captain who does not need to change his salary at all. Shane taking a low salary looks like no one values him anymore. Ilya choosing to lower his own salary looks like he is a good captain who is doing whatever it takes to make his team a cup contender. Jamie Benn took a massive pay cut to help maintain a competitive roster for the Stars and we lauded him as a goddamn hero. The optics for Ilya are fantastic if he does this. The optics for Shane are atrocious.

One thing I fundamentally disagree with is the premise that Shane has to go to Ottawa. He doesn’t. Especially if we look from the perspective of someone in-universe.

As readers, we want Shane and Ilya to be on the same team. We know that the book is trying to bring them there. So to us, it feels obvious that Shane is destined for Ottawa.

People in-universe don’t know that. Even though they know he’s with Ilya, people regularly make long distance work or super commute. Up until this point, they know Shane and Ilya have been comfortable doing exactly that. Shane Hollander can theoretically sign with any team close enough to make the relationship work.

You know where he can go? The New York goddamn Admirals.

Scott Hunter is going into retirement. The cap space just freed up for them for a new star center, and Shane Hollander has three goddamn Stanley Cups. He and Ilya would have to be long distance, but they were already long distance, and this is the same distance that they had when he was in Boston. They are rich enough to super commute via private jet. In the public’s eyes, this is a guy that should have options.

If he signs for pennies after his name was just dragged through the mud, he looks like he doesn’t. He is radioactive. No one wants Shane Hollander anymore. Only his husband’s team will take him, and that’s only if he is on fucking sale.

I don’t agree that this would come off as Shane regressing either. Especially because it would be so simple to frame it in a way that negates the possibility.

Don’t have Shane ask. Have Ilya offer.

Have Ilya bring it up. Have him say “come to Ottawa. Yes we are low on cap space but I will call management right now and tell them that if they let me terminate and resign for lower I will bring them the goddamn Stanley cup. We will both have to take pay cuts but it would be worth it to be together.”

The pay sacrifice is now mutual. And Ilya comes off like he is considerate of his partner who just got publicly humiliated and abandoned by his best friends of more than ten years. I’m saying “thank god he has Ilya” not “fuck Shane for wanting money.” Shane never has to ask for money to begin with.

From the canon ending, I do not think better of Shane. I think worse of Ilya.

The way it goes in canon, Ilya has his partner tell him he is so fucking angry after he was spat on by people he’s known for a fucking decade. He says he doesn’t deserve this. Ilya barely even acknowledges this. He just says “okay well we will appreciate you in Ottawa.” This doesn’t do anything to address the pain and loss Shane is feeling about what his friends just did to him.

Shane immediately raises the fact that they are out of cap space and the fact that it’s not about money, it’s about wanting to be paid for what he’s worth. And Ilya’s like “oh don’t worry baby, hubby will provide.”

Pause for laughter.

Ilya absolutely ignores what Shane just fucking said. He’s not worried about money. He just wants to be valued by the team he’s on. I think worse of Ilya because his partner who just got fucking hate crimed raised a valid concern that he outright blows off.

Shane doesn’t come off like he’s putting Ilya above his career from that scene either. He just agrees that he has a rich husband to provide for him now, so it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t get the character benefit of saying “you know what? I don’t care what I’m paid. I just want us to be together” because the thought doesn’t even occur to him.

The entire analysis I just said about Ilya also applies to the Centaurs. Their contracts are set, so it does not look like they are being valued less by management if they take a cut. Management literally cannot value them at any lower than their current contract price. Nothing can happen without the Centaurs making it happen. So it looks like they are the goddamn heroes bringing home Shane Hollander and getting their team its first ever Stanley cup. They would get a fucking parade for that, and any marginal percentage that they lost from their contracts would be more than made up for in the sponsorships they’d get from the good PR. This would be ultimately a good move for them in the public eye, and there is no need to “trick” them to do shit.

The solution is the same. Do not ask them. Have them offer.

You’d need to change the structure of the scene to do it, but you could do it with a few paragraphs. Have Ilya tell the rest of the team that he may be able to get Shane on the team too. Have them affirmatively flood the group chat with “oh my god we’re going to win the Stanley cup. Fuck wait the salary cap. I would take a pay cut to make this happen. I’m calling my agent right now.”

Shane didn’t ask them to do that. He didn’t ask them to do shit. Let them affirmatively recognize that there is a problem and immediately mobilize to fix it.

Do you have any idea how much better that would make the reader feel about Shane’s move to Ottawa?

Shane has just been rejected by the team he has spent more than a decade on. And it is a team that has been in varying degrees homophobic towards him since they found out he was gay. They act with vitriolic anger towards him after the trip, and almost none of them come to his wedding. That hurts.

Now here’s a new team. Shane doesn’t know them that well. He’s not friends with any of them. All he has is Ilya and that is because he just lost everything else. He is a fish out of water and he has no assurance that this will go well for him.

If those people go out of their way to do something to make him feel welcome after what his friends just did to him, I love them. I love their characters. I am excited that Shane gets to go to Ottawa because even if he shouldn’t have been ousted from Montreal, the narrative has just reassured me that he is amongst people who care about him, and it has soothed some of the pain of what just happened. These teammates want you, and are going out of their way to show you that. You didn’t ask. They offered.

There is another solution to this problem. And it’s to not bring up the salary cap at all.

Who put a gun to Rachel Reid’s head and made her bring up the salary cap? Just don’t include it in the conversation. Shane never says shit about the salary cap, and neither does Ilya, and the problem does not exist. Most readers will never think about it. The ones that do are free to draw whatever conclusions they may. Maybe Ottawa has oodles of cap space. Maybe the cap is higher in universe. Maybe they all took pay cuts. There is nothing in the narrative to contradict them, so the reader is never obligated to say “Ottawa does not have the cap space for Shane Hollander.” The answer could be anything.

Like, I do agree that it would be better to leave the space for the reader to draw their own conclusions. But Rachel Reid did not leave that space. She presents the problem and the solution in the same breath. Ottawa does not have the cap space for Shane Hollander. Take the pay cut, hubby will provide. It leaves the space to say that maybe something changed after that conversation, but that is not a lot of space. After all, Ilya just said it didn’t fucking matter, Shane just agreed it didn’t fucking matter, and who the fuck is going to challenge that?

There’s another thing I fundamentally disagree about with the premise of your argument, and that’s that this would be just some performative emotional bandaid meant to soothe Shane’s pride. I agree, this would be solely directed towards lifting Shane’s emotions, especially if Ilya was the one to take the cut.

Why would caring about Shane’s emotional health ever be a bad thing?

I want Ilya to be the kind of character that gives a shit about his partner’s emotions. I want the Centaurs to be the kinds of characters that care about their teammates’ emotions. Emotions are important.

After the trip, canonically, everyone Shane has been playing with save Hayden completely abandons him. They reject him in the most insulting and degrading and homophobic way possible. Only J.J. ever reestablishes contact. Ilya has all of his teammates at their wedding, and Shane gets two fucking people. And the media? It’s eviscerating him. His name is mud in the home he’s lived in and loved since he was 18.

That is not minor. People are put on suicide watch over less. Something similar happened to David Beckham during the World Cup and there are entire documentaries about how it almost fucking killed him.

Emotions matter. I care about the emotions of the people I love. And if someone I loved went through what Shane just went through? I would move heaven and goddamn earth to alleviate that. I would do absolutely anything I could to show them that they were still valued and loved. Call it performative, call it a bandaid, but I call it showing someone that I love them enough to want them to feel happy and welcomed and appreciated. I do not want the people I love to be publicly humiliated. And I would never in a million years let my poc partner who was just dragged through hell go through the public humiliation that is going for fucking gay discount if I had the power to do something about it.

The most common explanation I hear for why the game changers books are they way that they are is that the author decided to just glaze over it because it wasn’t what she wanted to focus on or its just a romance book, it’s not that deep. That’s the explanation Rachel Reid herself gives. It’s just a romance book, she never thought it’d be analyzed with this depth, it’s not that deep.

Whenever I hear something like that, I think to myself “that sure is a lot of words for saying, ‘I am a bad writer.’”

I harp on this so much, but it’s because I truly believe it: You cannot escape the consequences of your own narrative. You do not get to introduce something and then pretend it isn’t there. If you are not willing or able to address those consequences, do not bring it up.

If you are the writer of a story, the world is your goddamn oyster. You do not get the excuse of “oh, well, I couldn’t really deal with that conflict properly” you are the one who introduced the conflict to begin with. No one has a gun to your head, girl. Just don’t bring it up.

I can think of thirty goddamn ways you can resolve the salary cap thing that takes five sentences or less. The easiest? Again, just literally never mention the salary cap. Boom. Done.

She could have had them take pay cuts. She could have had there already be room in the cap because it’s much higher in the game changers universe. She could have written two sentences in the beginning about how there’s a veteran player on the Centaurs who is about to retire and free up cap space, foreshadowing the fact that Shane would be able to move there soon. There are so many ways to solve this that does not have the frankly racist connotations of having a gay Asian man be paid pennies on the dollar but it’s fine because he has a rich white husband to take care of him.

Like, the fact that she did not consider how deep the rabbit hole was before making her main character a marginalized individual in a racist and homophobic system is exactly what I am criticizing her for. She chose to make him half-Japanese and then never once think about the actual experiences of Asian men. She chose to drizzle in her representation without making actually it representative in the fucking slightest. And I am saying that makes her a bad writer.

[gingerpolyglot]

Other people have certainly said this before and better but I'm so stuck on how egregious the "Shane has no trauma" thing is when RR CHOSE to write him actively dissociating through sex with women for YEARS before Rose very gently calls him out on it and he finally stops.

It betrays a very fundamental misunderstanding of your own biases and blindspots to write a gay man who thinks about sex with women like this:

Shane had always been too embarrassed to ask the women he’d been with to use a dildo on him, so he more or less forced himself to endure the act of fucking women. Once he was aroused enough he could kind of get into it. It was a means to an end—the same end he was seeking no matter who he was with or what they were doing with him. He was obviously very athletic, which the women seemed to appreciate, and that probably covered the fact that he wanted it to be over as quickly as possible.

[...]

He preferred blow jobs. When a woman was sucking his dick it was easy enough to close his eyes and imagine...anyone...with their lips wrapped around him.

Heated Rivalry, Chapter 13*

And then say he doesn't have any trauma because his parents love him.

While it's true that Shane doesn't have one specific traumatic event like Ilya does with Irina, that defense would hold more water for me if Long Game didn't read like a thesis on viewing Shane as utterly free of trauma and simply acting selfishly for no good reason, as opposed to Ilya who can be as unfair and myopic as he wants (see: responding to Shane getting directly, individually threatened by feeling personally inconvenienced by Shane's potential increased fear) but gets a pass because he's depressed and has trauma.

*Interesting note: this is what he's thinking about when Ilya is on the phone with Grigori during the Tuna Meltdown

[ticklefighthockey]

god the cut from ilya slamming him into the boards to ilya slamming him facedown on the couch.... one of the hottest sequences in cinematic history?????????? i also think it's delicious that this is obviously the first time ilya's seen him since the infamous vegas sub drop dom drop in the same bed now y'all both upset and crying encounter... ilya's like i will be fucking you facedown on your own sofa with my big hand holding your head down to signal that we are still not allowed to do anything crazy like kiss on the mouth. but also i clearly stripped you naked and got you facedown on your couch like .02 seconds after walking through your front door so i could fuck you like i've been dying for it all summer so. on a deeper level i am still kind of losing the idgaf war

[mamawasatesttube]

the thing about media literacy is that understanding why the author chose to specify that the curtains are blue is the same skill set as understanding that the way the author characterizes all black characters as angry or all chinese characters as meek and silent is racist. it is the same skill set as being able to identify when a news source is biased or when someone is feeding you propaganda. the ability to ask "why did this person choose to present this premise in this specific way?" is a critical skill in a world full of misinformation. why are the curtains blue? maybe it's a characterization detail. maybe it's extraneous worldbuilding. why is this character written as being right all the time? maybe you're intended to disagree with them. maybe it doesn't matter. maybe you should still ask why.

[quietwingsinthesky]

like the betrayal’s always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didn’t matter. someone discards you because they didn’t give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say “I love you. I would make the same choice again.” You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.

[quietwingsinthesky]

“I thought they cared about me, but they were lying this whole time.” <- tired. boring. removes all the nuance of this relationship to make it easier to move on from.

“I thought they cared about me, and I was right, and every minute they were there for me, every time they said they were proud, every laugh we shared leaning against each other bruised and breathless, all of it was real. and they still left me behind. They could put their love aside. I couldn’t.” <- insane. will never leave you alone. reminds you that even the worst people are still people and can still care about even the ones they hurt the most and that undoes neither the harm nor the love.

[wtf-is-hockey]

Imagine you’re sitting with two of your bros and they’ve both just given you deer-in-the-headlights looks when you pointed out that it was brave of the obviously gay figure skater to come to Sochi, and the only reason they could be giving you those looks of course is because they just aren’t as up on social issues like this as you are, so because you’re a nice guy and a good ally you explain to them btw Russia is not safe for queer people to help them out so they don’t embarrass themselves in front of actual queer people some day. Then imagine a few years later one of them comes out as gay on the ice right in front of you and the world and you have to sit with the knowledge that you once straight-splained queerphobia to a gay man. You summon the courage to apologize to him for it and have a laugh over it and you walk away thinking phew that was embarrassing but at least I did what I had to do and he was cool about it and now I never have to retroactively cringe at myself about this again. Then imagine a few more years later the same thing happens with the OTHER guy 😭

[dragonmuse]

Ilya and Shane are both people that other people ascribe attributes to constantly. They are told what they are like by everyone around them. Both of them, to some extent, conform to those expectations.

I think the love story starts in the ways they don't try to define each other. They're curious about each other. Shane's million and one questions, Ilya's prodding (which are also kind of questions, his constant provocation a way to say 'show yourself to me').

Ilya laughs when Shane comes out to him because of course he knows that Shane is gay, but he never told Shane that. He never ascribed that word to him. When Ilya tries to ascribe someone else's word to himself (I'm lazy), Shane corrects him immediately.

They scrape the labels off each other that other people have stuck there.

[heated-pixels]

Thinking of little Shane Hollander getting super excited in little league hockey as a kid after he gets a winning goal, but, having not yet fully realized how much effort has to go into making other people realize he’s excited, end up saying “let’s go” in the most monotone voice most people there had ever heard from a kid.

Yuna and David would understand though. They’d know just how happy he was, and they’d manage to show it on their faces too.

And they’d stop to get a treat or something, and Shane would talk all about his game and his parents would listen intently because they knew how much this game meant to him. Even if some others struggled to realize, they knew.

They always knew.

[shanerozanov]

love and light but the way some of y’all talk about shane’s autism has me kinda 🤨 hmm. like why am i suddenly seeing people comment that “shane’s inherently self-centered because he’s autistic” with their full chests. like. you wanna run that one by me again, champ? y’all might be getting a bit too comfortable with the way you talk about autism, point blank period. i understand not wanting to woobify his character, but doing a complete one-eighty and instead vilifying an already stigmatized disorder is not the serve you think it is.

like let’s maybe think for one second why y’all hold this notion that being on the spectrum equates to being selfish. let’s unpack that 🤔

[ozempicofficial]

[penandinkprincess]

fucking CACKLING after thinking about how seeing ilya made shane's heartrate go down in the hospital because i'm imagining shane being out of it and mildly combative/confused/upset after something like getting his wisdom teeth taken out or something and really ONLY calming down with ilya right next to him, which is very sweet

except for the fact that it's now ilya's turn to be VERY nervous about what shane is going to say in front of his parents in a reversal of shane having about three heart attacks concurrently thinking he was going to have to hear ilya explain the concept of fuckbuddies during the dinner scene

because yes very sweet that shane wasn't listening to ANYONE about rinsing his mouth out until ilya said to do it, but shane's obedience is not limited to heeding medical instructions, and ilya is SWEATING about shane's drugged mind playing connect the dots with how much he likes ilya telling him to do things and deciding to start talking about it

[frederbee]

(tags absolutely NECESSARY via @penandinkprincess) #ilya being a very sweet partner and holding a cup up for shane because there's some blood in his mouth after changing the gauze out#and telling him to spit#and shane who is in OUTER SPACE just half-smirking and ilya knows what's coming even before shane slurs out a#'that's not what you usually-' 'SHANE. THE BLOOD. SPIT THE BLOOD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.'#and there is no way for ilya to tell yuna and david to leave because their son is not audience aware rn#and really likes being bossed around in bed and is thus playing apples to apples in his head with instructions rn#ilya as shane's emotional support in this setting except man is fucking STRESSED#shane's straight chilling and feeling very pampered and safe with ilya#meanwhile ilya has the resting heartrate of someone being hunted for sport#yuna and david both <3 :) enjoying watching their son's partner prove he's a loving and supportive and gentle life partner#and meanwhile ilya is just fucking PRAYING that helping shane put gauze back in his mouth isn't making him think#about things he LIKES having in his mouth#(it is)#shane keeps spitting it back out because Texture Bad#and ilya (not thinking) is just 'stop doing this. i am going to get a bandana or something and you will look like a kidnapping victim.#is this what you want?'#and shane is just *big happy sparkly eyes* 'i mean i liked when you tied a belt ar-'#and ilya just 'NO'#thank GOD yuna and david were talking to the doctor at that moment#but now he can SEE shane thinking about it and being so happy in his memory#and ilya is sitting here listening to discharge instructions just thinking 'don't speak don't speak don't speak don't speak'#as hard as he can at shane

[penandinkprincess]

@commanderbabyboy

ilya uses the like 0.5 seconds he's got when david is going to get coffee and yuna is stepping into the hall to SO gently take shane's face in his hands and get his attention like "hey, hey, shane, can you focus, please? ye-no, sweetheart, don't touch the gauze again. okay, do you want to be good for me?"

*muffled because there's cotton in his mouth* "yesh :)"

"good, you are always so good for me" *head kiss* "now, i need you to be VERY good and NOT talk until i say so, okay?"

"but you like when i'm loud, don't you?" *big, teary eyes* "you don't want me to tell you when i feel good?" *wobbly lip that would break a FAR harder heart than ilya's, especially when shane also currently has some very cute chipmunk cheeks happening*

"no, no, dorogoy, you know i love all of your pretty words and sounds." *smooch smooch* "but this is a new game, okay? we are trying something new together."

*still slightly sniffly but nod nod* "my shafeword is fashe-off"

*clinging to composure with the tips of his fingers* "yes, very good. but right now you are not going to say ANY words, okay?"

*nod nod and pleased little smile because he remembers The Rules under these circumstances* "then i tap you three timesh"

*SO close to fully having a breakdown* "yes, very good. and now time to be quiet, yes?"

*shane almost hits himself in the face miming zipping his lips shut*

and this works GREAT

...until the nurse asks shane what his pain level is on a scale of 1-10, and shane remains SILENT. and the nurse is, "shane? we can adjust your pain medication if you need. it's not a trick question." and shane just lolls his head over to the side and BEAMS at ilya because Look How Good I Am Being. :)

and ilya is about to just start beating his head against a wall.

[hardlyhinged]

Op’s tags

[penandinkprincess]

in fucking TEARS imagining shane whining through his nose (because not speaking! he remembers The Rules!!) as ilya is now trying to pull his hands away, and the nurse is just "oh, honey, don't worry. no one's going to be selling photos of the two of you holding hands here. we don't let cameras in past the door."

and thank you, ma'am, that's very kind

but it's NOT the fucking issue here

adding @nightquills

because i am truly CACKLING about the idea of shane just inventing his own rules as they go and now ilya has to try and keep him quiet while ALSO solving riddles from HELL trying to figure out what new rules shane is introducing from his own beautiful (drugged) mind

[penandinkprincess]

GOD yuna and david are only both there in the first place because ilya has never actually dealt with coming-out-of-sedation shane and while he's very good at handling him normally, shane has a tendency to be a flight risk because he's confused and Not Happy About All Of The Everything, so they wanted to be there just in case

and now they're here still just as backup in case it's needed but also aw :) how sweet :) shane is so calm :) how nice :)

meanwhile ilya is just planning the vacation he's going to reward himself with after this is over

he may or may not bring shane along on it

[deadcrow-donteat]

prev tags

david & yuna offer to stay with shane & ilya even after they get back to their house and ilya is like nono it's fine :) i've got it :) i promise no worries at all :) and yuna is very "are you sure? we don't mind staying a little longer if you need it!" (and while she trusts ilya she is also hesitant to leave her son so soon after surgery) meanwhile david realizes that there's probably something going on that they really don't need to know about so between him & ilya yuna is barely coaxed out the door. and as soon as they're gone ilya visibly deflates meanwhile shane in the back has been thinking where is. my treat. i have been so good. i followed All The Rules. i want. a treat.

[penandinkprincess]

fucking DEAD imagining the visual contrast between ilya, who looks like he's been through a fucking WAR, versus shane, who is sparkly eyed and chipmunk cheeked and SO looking forward to his treat for being so SO good :)

[attacus-atlas-the-moth]

prev tags. not just a entire pack. he is straight up eating cigarettes.

[aslongasitsblack]

like i kind of have no particular opinion on shane’s desires to be captain i do think it would probably be healthy for him to not be cap for a moment but i also will maybe never get over the humiliation ritual that is him being ousted from the team he brought multiple cups and then being sheperded off to be the flotus of his gay lovers team who everyone already thinks he’s lowkey under the boot of

[hollandar]

Heated Rivalry — 1x02 ⤷ VEGAS BATHROOM

(sources below)

“What was fun about the scene...”

“There's a full spectrum of emotions...”

“I like the animal thing when...”

“Shane can't look at Ilya...”

“That scene is intimacy...”

“For Parrell...”

“Was there any moment...”

“Your micro-expressions...”

“As for scenes that I think they improved...”

behind the scenes photo

[notlayingroses]

in my opinion, the question isn't "Is RPF ethical?" but rather "Are you engaging with RPF ethically?" and even more importantly, "Are you being stupid about it?"

I personally hate any kind morality thought policing. I'm not Catholic or religious and I do not feel guilty over my thoughts. You are not an inherently evil person because you saw two athletes in an interview and went "Hmmm...... what if...." The Feds are not going to come banging down your door because you wrote about one band member dicking down the other and sent it to your friend.

Wondering about other people's lives is very human. Being nosy about their personal lives is very normal. People have been writing fiction about other people's lives since the dawn of time. Some people even manage to write New York Times Bestselling Books that are "historical fiction" or "alternate reality." It does not make you inherently bad to be curious about the details of someone's personal life. That's being human. Being nosy is kind of fun.

The problem, however, comes with the ways in which people engage with it, and involve the real people in this. Harassing an musician's real girlfriend because it doesn't fit into the RPF ship. Showing up at real sporting events holding signs about how certain teammates should kiss. Trying to get actors to sign art of them fucking their coworker. Flooding social media with comments using the celebrity's full name and speculation. There's a line, there's a fourth wall, and there's fandom etiquette.

I hate the question of "Is RPF ethical" because it feels like morality thought policing. Post your fics on locked accounts, censor someone's name when you tweet about it, blow up your groupchat with hundreds of "DID YOU SEE THE WAY THEY LOOKED AT EACH OTHER??" texts. It's not inherently evil to wonder what other people are doing when they're out of the spotlight. Kill the cop in your mind.

But just have some basic decency and do not involve the real people. Don't cross the line without caring how it affects them. This is basic fandom 101 and lately we have been flying too close to the damn sun! Everyone get more normal about RPF so major news outlets and magazines stop posting articles about "Is RPF ethical?" and blowing up our spot!

[thisfeebleheart]

patient needs neck kisses to survive

[evanactually]

The way Shane always melts when Ilya kisses his neck 🥵

[physics-dirtbag]

Me every single night: