Vicar

C-DID sys || pro-endos, radq, polyminds fuck off || other blog is @cryptidcanidsys

[cryptidk9]

Vicar or K9. It/Its + Muzzle/Muzzled. NEVER THEY.

Aggressive. Muzzlegender + Canidic. Non-human terms only.

DNI:

Bigots. Endos + Pro. Radqueers. Polyminds. Pro-Contact

BYF:

I use slurs to refer to myself. I’m a progged sys. I’m very blunt. I use a lot of swears. If a word in my posts seems off or if it looks like there’s a word missing you’re probably right, I have disabilities that make typing difficult.

[anti-willo-miku]

Please don’t judge yourself for your alters I’m begging you. They are not a reflection of your moral character, they are your brain trying to survive what you’ve been through. Every part of you deserves kindness and compassion.

[antiwillo-ivan]

"so, why do you hate endos so much?" well, let's think about it.

major content warning for child abuse, syscourse, system formation, endogenics, suicide, and related topics. this is typed in a way that is disjointed to simulate memory loss and gaps in memory. if you believe this will upset you, please scroll.

you're four years old. someone close to you has just laid their hands on you for the first time. this will be the first of many occurrences. you won't know about it until many years later.

you're eight years old. when teachers call your name in class, you won't reply. not because you don't hear it, but because it doesn't feel like you. you're not sure if it's ever been your name. maybe you're transgender. you just read about that on the internet. you will spend years going back and forth on labels that will never fit right, and you will spend years forgetting what labels you've tried.

you are nine years old. your grades are already failing. you can't pay attention in class. you don't know what happens when you go home. you wake up the next day sore and covered in bruises and something else that you can't recall right now. you're not sure what you mean by right now, there's just right now, and right now you go to school. you don't remember going to school. you're back at home. did you ever leave? you're twenty two years old.

you are ten years old. fictionkinning is all the rage on the internet. it's given you something to attach to. that's nice. you know who you are for once.

you are thirteen years old. you've always been thirteen years old. you don't know anything that happened before being thirteen.

you are thirteen years old. you haven't stopped having imaginary friends. you think you're schizophrenic. you will self diagnose yourself as such for years, because you want a label to tie yourself down with. you want to know yourself, because you're not sure you ever have. when do you learn how to do that, anyways? everyone around you seems like they know. you are seven years old.

you are sixteen years old. have you ever not been sixteen? you must've spawned in like this.

you are seventeen years old. you've just learned about systems online. you don't get it.

you are twenty years old. you've just crashed your- no, you didn't. how'd your car get totaled? when did you have a car? you're thirteen years old. you can't even drive. were you driving? there's other people here. you've known they were there. but since when? someone tells you that you've known for two years. what? it's been longer than that. you've known since you were

you're four years old. something happened to you this year, but really, it's been sixteen years.

there never was a four year old. you have always been twenty two. when did you turn twenty two?

you're in a community for people like you. you've been handed a diagnosis, but it's been a while. you don't remember when you got it. someone else does. he's your friend, but he's you. that's nice to have.

you meet someone. they say they experienced something similar to you. that's nice. you spend days, weeks, months talking and getting closer. you bond over your systemhood, you tell them everything, they tell you everything. they tell you that they became a system later in life. you ask them how that works. they tell you they "willed it." you ask if something really did happen to them after all.

they say no. they just didn't want to be shunned from "their community."

the person you had known for months has lied to you this entire time.

the person you had known for months has claimed solidarity with you, but they never once experienced it.

the person you had known for months thinks that your dissociation is a fun concept. they think it's fascinating that the human mind can do that. they think it's wonderful to have friends and to never be alone. all you've wanted is to remember properly and to be alone for once. when did you want that?

when did you meet this person? was there ever a person?

you're sixteen years old. you never had that friend. someone else here had that friend, but they weren't your friend.

you try and remember for once, but someone tells you that you've done this before. you've tried to remember, and you've remembered everything all at once, and then you've forgotten.

you will do this daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, and you will forget it every time.

but your internal friend's friend will never do that. they will continue to use a label that has ruined your life, and they will use it for fun. they will find all of this nonsense. they will think you are "exclusionary." they will think that you are a terrible person. they will think you are the problem.

they will tell you to take your own life. you wish you had. someone tells you that you've tried before. all you can say is, "oh." you wonder if it worked. you wonder if this is hell.

they will have fun. you will continue to suffer.

you are four sixteen twelve thirteen twenty-two twenty years old. something happened to you, somewhere along the way. you don't remember. someone else.

did you ever figure out a name, by the way?

[anti-willo-miku]

I’m not a big fan of the whole “both sides suck” idea some syscoursers have because while there are plenty of anti endos I want to punch in the face I think that simply boiling it down to “oh well everyone sucks!” is ignoring that one side has its ideological roots in a hategroup, borrows its structures from a hategroup and has never apologized or tried to atone for being a hategroup. And the worst part is that majority of endos probably don’t even know the origins of their movement. They are parroting bigoted beliefs and following these patterns left in the community without knowing the horrible origin of those patterns.

[anti-willo-hiccup]

Just because I follow medical texts and say “you need trauma in order to be a system” doesn’t mean:

I’ll not accept you for not remembering any trauma

I’ll force you to uncover traumatic memories

I’ll expect your system to function in one specific way

I’ll force you to talk about triggers

I’ll force you to tell me about all your trauma

And so much more that my brain has blanked on.

The only thing that I will expect of you is to go find a therapist or psychiatrist as soon as is feasible for you - and I don’t care if that means now, in a months time, when you move out of your current living situation, in a few years once you have some financial stability, whatever. I just want you to get help as soon as that opportunity comes.

[stu-macher-hates-ableism]

if i ever sound like i'm fighting invisible people in these posts theres a 99.99% chance i just got pissed off by someone on syscord

[cryptidk9]

Mainstream religion makes me absolutely nauseous, I try to avoid it but that kind of stuff is impossible to avoid

[cryptidk9]

I have not made a proper post for almost a month so this is gonna be a clunky as fuck.

I hate discovering new alters cause it feels like discovering another horrible part of my brain and another way my trauma affected me. It makes me understand Willos and NTGs outlook on alters even less than I already did. It makes no sense genuinely

[sysfreak-official]

developing a system is like making toast. hear me out on this one.

sure, there are multiple ways you can make toast. you can use a toaster, a grill, a pan, an oven, even a flamethrower if you like it REALLY toasted. but you know what all of those methods have in common?

they all require heat.

if you have no heat source, you can't make toast. sure, you can use a sharpie and scribble on bread to make it *look* like toast, but it's still bread. it still isn't toast without the heat.

developing a CDD (aka system/plurality) is the same way. trauma can look vastly different, but it's all still trauma. abuse, neglect, bullying, it does not matter. trauma is required for the formation of a system just like heat is required for toast.

endos can try to look like systems all they want. they can use a whole box of sharpies trying to pretend they're the same as us. but at the end of the day, they're still bread and we're still toast.

[thearcanon]

systemality is not queer or an identity to claim systemality is not queer or an identity to claim systemality is not queer or an identity to claim systemality is not queer or an identity to claim

[chaosandmadnesscoll]

SYSTEMALITY IS NOT QUEER OR AN IDENTITY TO CLAIM !!!!!!!!

Im SHOUTING to the roof tops

SYSTEMALITY. IS. NOT. QUEER. OR. AN. IDENTITY. TO. CLAIM!!!!!

[chaosandmadnesscoll]

(Pro)endos Need to Understand that their Actions Have Consequences

Absolutely baffling at the amount of (pro)endos I see genuinely unable to understand the amount of harm they do.

I have seen (pro)endos and the like say some absolutely HEINOUS shit and act like there arent consequences to what they say.

Just because youre on the internet doesnt mean you get to do/say whatever you want.

[anti-willo-canada]

The fuck is this 2020 ass hazing ritual LMFAO losers get better

[anti-willo-kangel]

btw saying you can have alters without trauma is comparable to saying you can have ptsd without trauma

[anti-endo-susie]

i love addict systems 💜 i love self harming systems 💜 i love drug abuser systems 💜 i love porn addict systems 💜 i love masturbation addict systems 💜 i love systems who are still going through their trauma 💜 i love systems who are still going through their abuse 💜 i love systems who relive their trauma everyday 💜 i love systems who are still splitting 💜 i love systems who are still traumatized 💜 i love systems who are still ill 💜 i love systems 💜

remember you are loved 💜💜💜

[cryptidk9]

Should I make a sys blog?

[cryptidk9]

So, I made it. @cryptidcanidsys

[hello-nekomura]

NO you arent transfashion you just are stupid, its not that hard to dress a way you want and NOOOO non harmful transids arent actually non harmful, it still hurts the trans community!! its a pipeline of starting with the non harmful ones to the harmful ones. they all are bad and disgusting and the community is still disgusting and still is ust groomers!!! why tf would a community that defends itself with "well its ust kids!!!" be so open and proud of it when the whole community builds itself off of perversion and akes their only personality being degenerate perverts ???? fucking weirdos! transids and radqueer tho it rlly is the same thing actually fuck off and report yourself to the nearest police station please!!

[cryptidk9]

Should I make a sys blog?