[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

oh wait just realized i can edit my own posts.

like you can't edit reblogs anymore but you can still edit your own post even after it has a thousand notes or whatever.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

i have the opportunity to do the funniest thing.

[helenvaughans]

[loreleywrites]

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

[athelind]

The Most Tumblr Punchline

I've noted before that my favorite punchline on Tumblr is "hang on, gotta look something up/okay that's funny."

Let me explain why:

It is a way to say "I don't get it" without blaming the joke or the teller.

It is a tacit admission of ignorance without shame or judgement.

It assumes responsibility for acquiring the knowledge the respondent doesn't already have.

It cues other people who Don't Get It to do the look-up themselves, allowing them to get that full impact of Getting It without derailing the post with explanations.

It gives subsequent readers, whether or not THEY got the joke, a little frisson of good feelings when they realize that someone else is now In On The Joke.

It not only makes the original joke funnier, it gets funnier the more often it's used.

[dogpuppy]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Every time I see some joke about Star Trek-style teleporter technology I'm like "I should write a story about the potential of this technology re: the whole 'killing and copying people' thing and the ramifications of being able to essentially print people" and then I remember I already wrote it. Every single time.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#*two hours later* hey derin? what the fuck was that

Expected result of teleportation technology I think

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#I WAS TRYING TO GO TO BED 😭😭😭#just reached the end of part 1 i can't stop send help#fiction

Read the rest in bed! Problem solved!

[duarzish]

#Holy fuck, this story changed me.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Good, that's what stories are supposed to do!

[antique-scarecrow]

Oh wow. Wow wow wow wow geez. Go read this

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[annawry]

I say this with all the love in the world. What the fuck.

(Also, hey, go read this. You'll think you know what you're getting. You won't.)

[defat1]

No, that's about what I expected from a Derin short story. Those things stick with you forever!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

If I'm going to go to the effort of typing it up it had better fuck people up or I might as well go play computer games instead

[autumnmercy]

Whelp, that just entered my category of “stories that aren’t technically horror, but really feel like it.”

That’s a good thing of course, the story was brilliantly written, and I’ll be thinking about it for a long time.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

That category is most scifi

[inprisonforsparkling]

Just read this. What the fuck Derin

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Stori

[dawnsiren]

Derin, what the fuck was that???? Cursed implications

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Stori!

[tinycrowthings]

Derin, what the fuck.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I keep telling you guys! Stori!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#my grandpa liked your story#he says you have a marvelous imagination and developed a very unique story#and said the ending was poignant#I agree with him#great story

You guys heard it here first, mysterious-corpse's grandpa liked my story.

[omnilily]

I thought I had thought of all the fucked up implications. I had not. Not even close.

Derin, what the fuck?

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

There are way more fucked up implications that didn't fit this story, I'm considering returning to the topic with a new one at some point.

[ocean-again]

Derin, what the FUCK?

[gricekrispies]

WHAT THE FUCK IM CRYING YOU NEED TO MAKE THIS INTO A MOVIE

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I don't know how to make movies. Best I can do is more short stories.

[a-silent-glottal-stop]

There's a line form the story that I think really sums up how I feel about it

“What?” I ask. Then, to clarify, I add, “the fuck?”

[dreg-heap]

We used to make posts about loki on here

[ferretteeth]

I love this post so much. “we used to make posts about loki on here” is the gentlest way possible to describe this website’s history. It’s like saying einstein dabbled in science

[wordfather]

just found out that accidentally in love by counting crows was literally made for shrek. they didnt just choose it. it didnt exist before. they asked counting crows to make a song for shrek 2 and thats how we got one of the best songs ever made. insane.

[wordfather]

counting crows knew shrek 2 would become one of the best movies ever made and had to act accordingly

[daughterofsarenrae]

Sometimes i randomly remember "who are you? I love you too" and have to have a little cry about it

[thebugautistic]

I like to think I'm funny

[leaky-port-nacelle]

Ezri eventually dies, as most people do

The Dax symbiont is passed to the next host

Dax pays a visit to their old friend, the renowned author, Jake Sisko

"Dax, what are you doing here?"

"the last host of mine to not know your father was Joran. And, well, no one wants a repeat of that. I think Siskos may be my good luck charm"

we cut to a montage wherein the first thing Dax does in every lifetime once left to their own devices is to go find Benjamin's closest living descendent. Sometimes they become friends. Sometimes, best friends. Once, they even married, but that's a story for another time. Sometimes, they have a dinner, check in, then go their separate ways.

But as long as every Dax has a Sisko, nothing like Joran ever happens again.

And every Sisko knows, once in a generation, right when they need it the most, to expect a knock at the door. Every Sisko knows to look forward to their next visit from an old friend, from The Old Man.

[hail-dondus]

It looks like they’re dropping a teaser trailer for the new Harry Potter reboot tomorrow

Just a few important and gentle reminders:

🫶🏻 DO NOT WATCH THIS FUCKING SHOW 🫶🏻

If you claim you support human rights - not just trans rights but human rights in general - yet still plan to watch this show, unfollow me. You’re a fucking hypocrite and I don’t want you following me.

Do not watch it even if you’re hate watching it, it still contributes to streaming revenue and views!

The adults in this reboot of the franchise are FULLY accountable for choosing to do this show and accepting a pay cheque over supporting a minority group. Even if they claim they support trans rights, they’re cowards and don’t actually support them at all.

The kids do NOT deserve abuse or hate, whether it’s because you’re comparing them to Dan/Rupert/Emma or because you’re boycotting due to the author’s views. They are literal CHILDREN.

Your nostalgia over a children’s series about kids going to school is NOT more important than trans people being respected and having rights. As long as JKR is still alive, she profits off of this.

[unicorndeathrace]

A lot of fandom bullshit could be avoided if people just properly utilized the power of the three person group chat with a hilarious name.

[egonkula]

practicing my hot weather affirmations. You are not evil, you are just sweating. You do not hate your friends you are just walking down a street with no shade. You aren’t anger incarnate, you just need a glass of water.

[leonkennedysprostate]

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten

[effervescent-fool]

some more bangers from TMGs bluesky

[voxnihil]

i dont want to work i want to learn how to make music and art and stories and games and spend all of my time learning new things and enjoying my friends art and just. having fun.

i want to have fun