Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
noise dept.
tumblr dot com

Origami Around
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Xuebing Du
Peter Solarz
ojovivo
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor
taylor price
$LAYYYTER

pixel skylines
hello vonnie
d e v o n
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KIROKAZE
todays bird

JVL
will byers stan first human second

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@cuddlybadgers
Wait a minute if elves take a hundred years to grow up that has some weird implications.
So… if we say a human comes of age in fantasy worlds at 16, that means it takes an elf 6.25 years to age one human year. If we say the age of maturity is 18 that’s 5.55 years.
So then… okay with people that live a long time have to see their human friends die and probably see them like pets yeah that’s been explored to death. But what about a human just seeing their friend not grow up?
An elf toddler and a human toddler become friends at a playdate. At the time the human is two and the elf is 13. Emotionally the elf is just a little older than the human. But then the human grows up. He grows up and as he grows up his friend doesn’t. Not much, anyways.
She’s still sucking her thumb and throwing tantrums the entire time that he grows up. When he reaches the age where he’d choose a trade or go to an academy he’s earning extra money by babysitting her. During his initiation into adulthood on his 18th birthday she’s there with her parents holding a stuffed animal. Later that afternoon he sees her being shown some colorful flashcards with letters of the elvish alphabet on it by her father.
The human gets older. He learns how to fight, he goes from town to town getting work. At some point he joins the army. Every time he visits his hometown he has at least one more scar and by the time he’s 30 and the elf girl is mentally seven by human standards she starts to understand that something is wrong. Even after he settles down to be a home maker for the local blacksmith something feels wrong.
And she watches him grow old. When she’s in her 80s she babysits his grandchildren for extra cash after school, coming over in her school robes and ruffling his hair. She doesn’t remember why she became friends with this human or when but a strange sense of jealousy fills her heart.
Now she realizes it. She realizes it too late, on the day her friend learns that he is dying. The first day of her 100th year and the start of his last. Humans’ lifetimes may only last for the childhood of an elf if they’re lucky, but they learn so fast. They do so much. They cram their days full of love and hate and learning and wonder.
He knew this was coming. He knew all of this decades before she did, because elves are slow. Not stupid, certainly not stupid, but very very slow. She holds her old friend’s hand as he lays down on his bed. A man that has led such an ordinary life but feels so extraordinary to her. Because he has always, always been there and now he just won’t. Because in her eyes he became so wise so fast and now he’s just gonna be gone.
On an elf’s 100th birthday they are allowed to choose a new name for themselves. It can be important, or not. Usually it will follow them until the end of time. She stands in front of her family’s elders and is asked what name she will be called from now on.
She names herself after him.
just tear my heart out and stamp on it why don’t you?
oh i LOVE this as a concept
spawn room
friendly reminder that Nikola Tesla proposed using the ionosphere to do this on a global scale over a century ago and the only reason we don’t have that setup today is because capitalists wouldn’t be able to make money off it
also because on his first experiment with the concept he blew out a power plant generator and killed a few horses
shit happens
me, originally: if you’re paying attention, there are enough contextual hints thrown in to keep track of the witcher timelines without extra indicators. it’s fine.
the official timeline: jaskier and geralt had known each other for 22 years by the dragon episode.
me: actually, no, you really needed to tell us that.
I love that the show creator’s response to this was basically “Oh yeah. We forgot Jaskier isn’t immortal like the other main characters and probably should have aged him. Oops.”
i for one vote that they just commit and make him immortal too
finding out jaskier is 18 in episode 2:
okay sure i can play along with that
finding out he’s 41 in episode 6:
I thought Yen was just being catty about his crow’s feet, are you telling me they actually knew each other for decades??
I’m firmly of the opinion that Jaskier is immortal by now. You can’t spend 22 years chasing around a Witcher and not catch a case of immortality—it’s like background radiation to all the dead wraiths, sorcereresses, and vampires he’s seen.
I envision Geralt and/or Yennefer saying, “oh yeah, he’s a normal human, what do they usually live…150 years? 300?” And Jaskier, who’s secretly been a vampire for the last 50 years of their acquaintance, is like, “Yes That Is A Normal Human Lifespan.”
Yes to all of this but I also still love the idea that Jaskier doesn’t fully know he is immortal for like maybe twenty years. But one day, someone makes a comment in a village about being ‘young and twenty again’ referring to him, it finally clicks. Like holy hell he isn’t ageing. Like. what does this mean?? IS THIS SOMETHING GERALT DID? HOW DOES JASKIER FEEL ABOUT THIS???
So next time he sees Geralt, Jaskier just like lays HEAVILY on the hints that yeah, he gets complimented on his youthful visage all the time, and wow I really am looking so good for my age, its almost suspicious wouldn’t you say Geralt, and then when thats not working just a straight hey Geralt, I think I’m immortal now. Did you do this??
And Geralt. Just. Straight up doesn’t understand. Like to him, Jaskier looks the same? So what? Humans are weird and age differently, Geralt isn’t an expert, he doesn’t hang around a human to watch them age and die.
When he asks Yen, she just shrugs and straight up Doesn’t Care, which has a double bonus of making Jaskier even more frustrated with her.
So Geralt and Yen just sort of brush off Jaskier’s arguments including no grey hair guys- not one and his dad went full silver at age thirty three did you know. And its their sort of causal acceptance that gradually just makes Jaskier start to think that hey, maybe he has been just very lucky with aging, and really Geralt has been around long enough to surely notice another immortal. And Jasker just sort of accepts that he isn’t immortal, despite the fact he Really Obviously Is You Dumbasses. And its just never mentioned again.
suneater’s typical dinner🍜🥟🍗
➞reprints of this work are prohibited, please do not repost.
I was just about to spiral into a bad panic attack, and my boyfriend goes "Stick an ice cube in your mouth." I'm not really sure where he got the idea, and I kinda laughed at it because I didn't see how it would help, but he was insistent. So I did it.
And now I'm on my second cube, because it worked.
He explained his reasoning to me when he got home.
1. I would initially think "what the fuck" and be distracted from the anxiety. (Correct.)
2. The cold of the ice would shock my system, bringing me back to the physical world and reality, drawing my focus to the cold in my mouth, and keep my brain away from thinking "I'm panicking, I must be dying." (Correct.)
3. He assumed I hadn't drank much water today and wanted to keep me hydrated. (Triple correct.)
the impulse to just make weird noises for no reason is something i have to ignore like 24/7
Thought it was just me
microwave: mmmmmm
me and my friends, in perfect unison, loudly: mmmmmmmmmmmmm
When one of your customers spanks your ass
i thought it was about working in retail omg
Definitely also retail lmao
LMFAOOOO omg I thought it was retail too
lunch break doodling~
Forgive me.
only if you forgive me
His world now
HEY YOU
YOURE FINALLY AWAKE
Oh sweet Jesus.
i am so sorry for this
TOM HIDDLESTON Bosideng Winter 2019 Collection
“If it’s about a dad dating other dads, how come some of them have kids???”
everyone stop reblogging the chains that don’t include the trans flag challenge