he smoked all my weed and fell asleep on my couch. franceschifails come collect your child.

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Origami Around
Monterey Bay Aquarium

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Today's Document
dirt enthusiast
Cosimo Galluzzi
wallacepolsom
Keni
Xuebing Du
DEAR READER
tumblr dot com
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Jules of Nature
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
art blog(derogatory)
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
One Nice Bug Per Day
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@curseofthebailey
he smoked all my weed and fell asleep on my couch. franceschifails come collect your child.
Nothing infuriates me more when someone says “you’re cute for a black guy” or “you’re cute for an Asian guy” like excuse me I’m sorry my race isn’t that attractive or to your taste. I didn’t know my skin color determined if I was attractive or not.
i went and got my sperm frozen yesterday. it was a really awkward experience for everyone involved. they asked me if i preferred men or women and when i said men they gave me this gay porn magazine to jerk off to. the women working there were very very confused.
chewbacca has made himself comfortable. i think he likes max more than me. han is nowhere to be found.
"Come to me my luscious wife—oh she of skin so pale, eyes so black, and dress cut down to Venezuela—"
is this what having a penis is like
Tusk (2014)
i am spending christmas in bed watching horror movies.
on that subject: do you ever watch a horror movie so fucked up that it sort of makes you think about your life and how its led up to you watching a film about a man turning another man into a walrus
Cry-Baby (1990)
browsing etsy for work clothes, found a pair of sequin eyeball pasties. in soviet russia, boobs stare at you.
#GirlPower
“Girls Rule" by Anna Iwanuch
the shorts are unzipped because i am bloated, not to imply sex. thank you.
doing an unfollow/refollow don't mind me
i made the most incredible tres leches cake. god bless my mexican grandmother and her recipe book. this further proves my only talents are sucking dick and cooking.
Finished from earlier, I only got a good photo sent to my phone a lil bit ago. “I sometimes feel that I’m impersonating the dark unconscious of the whole human race. I know this sounds sick, but I love it.”
I still don’t have enough tattoos clearly. 😎
i am CRYING this is the greatest tattoo of all time oh my god i'm in love