yikes

[desperate-housewives]

[eva-420]

bastard keeps sprinting to get ahead of me then walks really slow so i accidentally kick him and then meows all pathetically like i attacked him

[eva-420]

This Cat Commits Insurance Fraud

[youremybrandnewday]

I’m sorry, does your cat’s name tag say “hello my name is bastard”

[molliekatie]

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

Yep

[noblewing-deactivated20200601]

People feel threatened by this.

Keep that in mind.

[sexhaver]

literally every single time without fail

[noblewing-deactivated20200601]

Get a load of you, making fun of someone’s profile pic in 2019. You must be so proud. I bet you get all the ladies.

Fuck off.

[sexhaver]

i am and i do, ponyfucker

[guu]

this is what you can find when you click on his FIMfiction link on his blog

Bidoofs Law, at it again

[noblewing-deactivated20200601]

Oh God. They’re multiplying.

Yeah, I’m totally the degenerate here. My opinion doesn’t fucking matter because I like to fuck horses and watch a show for little kids.

Ugh… are you guys done? You’re boring me.

[guu]

[swordbride]

[timeindogyears-deactivated20211]

also:

[toxicstardust]

Ok, but also:

[mjalti]

joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

[hidden-divinity]

my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

[sashayed]

me: i feel strongly that everything is bad. all evidence supports this conclusion.

my cat: hm. i have counterpoint

me: impossible. what is it.

my cat:

me, voice trembling: ᵍᵒᵒᵈ  ᵖᵒᶦⁿᵗ

[lovlae]

oh fr 😳😳

[stepfordgoth]

I hate these posts because they've gotten in my head, and when I was drunk in the passenger seat of my friends car last night I saw a cop in hi-vis directing traffic and my first thought was "ok he do be lookin kinda safe doe"

[teathattast]

[teathattast]

we slidin

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[lookskindadeadinside]

this glitch is making every funny post 10x funnier bc it looks like the text equivalent of when someone just stares at you silently after you make a joke

[raeazure]

I simply do not vibe with my father

[uchanda]

therapist: how was your week?

me: mm.. i can’t remember

[powerfulwizard]

Kermit doesn’t have a nose or lips but he conveys more emotion than any human

[powerfulwizard]

[annabellioncourt]

[prussianmemes]

[thatsaltysmallhuman-deactivated]

[flirting-with-psychology]

The fuck point (n.) The point in an assignment at which you say “Fuck it all,” slap down some bullshit, and turn it in without reading it

[nochillzone-uxv]

@playboicarti

[unclefather]

[humansofnewyork]

“My husband got involved with a younger woman at work.  I was relaxed about it at first.  He’s thirteen years younger than me, so I thought: ‘Shit happens.’  But then she got pregnant.  Luckily through the divorce process I had the opportunity to take over this shithole place with no heating, which I’ve turned into an art studio. And now I’m living my best life.  Everything is for sale except the pink chandelier and the dog.  Anyone is free to stop by at anytime.  You can eat or drink whatever you want.  All the young people in the neighborhood love me.  I’m the oldest person in our friend group.  Everyone else is in their twenties or thirties.  They call me Queen Mama.  I call them my adopted kids.  I always help them with their school projects and resumes and interviews.  I only ask one thing in return.  Each of them has to teach me one new thing every week: a piece of music, a trend, an idea.  Just so I can stay up to date.  Before you take the photograph, let me go inside and put on some make-up.  We were out until 2 AM last night.” (Amsterdam, The Netherlands)

[titenoute]