“It’s alright. I don’t talk about it. You couldn’t have known.” This time he takes the the initiative and gently grabbing the sleeve of Connor’s jacket. That way not to scare Connor, he wasn’t physically touching the other android but Markus could at least feel like he was offering support beyond his words.
“You are allowed to feel the way you do. You’re feelings are as valid as anyone’s, human or other wise. You have every right.” He wanted to reach up and wipe the tears away but Markus has risked to much by holding on to Connor’s sleeve..
“You don’t have to deal with them alone. It’s one of the reasons I started this revolution in the first place. So we don’t have to hide them. I’m here for you as much as I am for the others.”
You shouldn’t. I don’t deserve it. I hunted your kind. I nearly killed you. You shouldn’t trust me so openly. What if it happens again?
Connor swallowed, trying to rid himself of the foreign, impossible feeling of his throat tightening, eyes flicking for a second to the fingers curled in his sleeve and taking a thread of comfort in the action.
He owed Markus more then this. This childish tantrum, his weak inability to handle his own emotions. He’d been designed to understand and mimic humans, their emotions, their unpredictability. He used to take a flicker of pride in that fact, in the mildly impressed looks he used to get when he understood something no normal android would have.
So why was it that he was failing so bad at something he’d been built to understand, when he could finally feel them for real himself?
It made no sense, it made his temple ache under the burn of his overworked processor struggling to understand, the LED that he’d yet to bring himself to part with yellow more often then blue these days.
The fight drains from Connor all of a sudden. That same LED fades from the deep red of distress to a troubled, steady pulse of amber as the android lets himself fall against Markus.
He doesn’t dare do much more then hide his face away against the other’s chest, hands shaking lightly as his fingers flex against his shirt, torn between wanting to grab hold of the fabric or not, ready to remove himself at the first sign of discomfort, but so desperate to find comfort in touch. A feeling he’d never considered, but even just this, for reasons he can’t begin to name, even just leaning into him like this seems to soothe the frayed edges of Connor’s very being.
“I....feel lost” He admits quietly into Markus’ shirt. “So lost....I understand nothing, nothing makes sense anymore, I just want to understand myself...”