CyberKraken @cyberkraken - Tumblr Blog

My liege, if you recall, the prophecy stated that you would fall by the hands of your first born son. Yes, I understand that twelve daughters is a very impressive feat, but mayhaps you should consider quitting while you’re ahead?

oligy101

My liege, you mustn’t be so reckless. If you recall, your prophecy stated “you shall not die by any efforts of man or woman, nor of any material from this land”, and it feels rather pertinent to your most recent decision. Please consider the situation with your father and your brother, and to a lesser extent your 32 younger sisters, and know your prophecy is not one to be neglected. Your father tempted fate and look where that got him. Yes my liege, I do know it was a heart attack that he passed from, but the royal guard directly saw your baby brother reach out towards your father with his hands as he passed. Yes, I know the prophecy would be better stated to say “beside the hand” rather than “by the hand”, I didn’t write the prophecy. No my liege, I mean no disrespect. Yes, I agree, this was a very inappropriate time to discuss your father, and we should go back to the issue at hand. Yes, I do recall that no man or woman may slay you, however, if you think about the prophecy with the context of your newly imported elephant,

oligy101

My liege, this is hardly the appropriate attire for a hunting trip, especially one to the woods you were forbade from entering. Yes your majesty, I know you are ruler of this kingdom, but if you recall your prophecy- you mock me. I take your safety and fate with the upmost sincerity, and you respond with “mi mi mi mimi”? Please recall your- yes I know what your prophecy states, “your reign shall last until nature itself regains your throne and crown”, I was about to recount it for you. Look my liege, I think this hunting trip is a terrible idea. You are far too clumsy and the forest floor is uneven with roots! If the stairs of the palace or your own feet are enough to cause you to trip, remaining upright may be difficult, and, to put it frankly, falling hitting your head on a rock would hardly a glorious engraving on your tombstone. Please don’t wear the crown on this hunting trip, they’ll know you’re the new queen because of how similar you look to your sister. It’s a prideful act that will only- oh the royal messenger is here. What news do you have? Oh this requires my immediate attention. I will return, my liege. Do not attend that hunting trip in your current attire, though you should consider not going at all.

oligy101

Royal To-Do List

Schedule date of coronation

Organise a trip to the Royal Soothsayer with the new Queen

Search forest for the crown

Purchase a new throne, or locate the stolen one

Fix elephant-shaped hole in the throne room

oligy101

Now, as a part of the induction protocols, all new employees are to be informed of a long-held family tradition. When each new ruler comes to power, they receive a letter a few days later from the old soothsayer. Yes, the one who lives in the woods, we paid for them to live there. Thought it would be a good way to avoid receiving more prophecies, as she wouldn’t receive notice of the coronation until afterwards, but now they just get sent in the mail. We used to add in 15 minutes leeway to the schedule for when the soothsayer interrupted the event, it was a nightmare to try and predict when they’d show up. If it were up to me, we’d stop the postal service going that far, but only the Queen can make that ruling. I’m getting sidetracked. As I recall, the Queen’s prophecy states “your heart will bleed when the man who could never love you distances himself, his aim not one intending to hurt you, yet he will be your demise”. In order to circumvent this, she is not allowed to take a hand in marriage, and any casual romances are monitored to ensure attraction is present from both parties. Furthermore, suitors are not informed of the Queen’s status as royalty, further preventing anyone attempting to woo her for wealth or political status. She’s also elected to take on many hobbies to fill her time, to focus less on any romantic endeavours. It’s a good system, if a little difficult to source new hobbies on short notice. Oh, yes, please voice your concerns. It’s always a good sign when new employees take the Queen’s prophecy seriously.

Well yes, this is why we hired you. She’s been interested in archery as a hobby recently, and we can’t exactly send somewhere accessible to the general public. What if she falls for someone outside of our control? No, it’s much safer to hire you as her private archery instructor. And I presume she’ll learn quickly, not every archery instructor considers himself an “arrow ace”.

oligy101

My liege, I’ve been reviewing some of the royal funding and budgetary records, and a few things have come to my attention. Now, I understand that we have surplus funding in the royal vault as a result of your prophecy, which, if you recall, states that “you will die by a blade not intended for battle, but one that will find it’s way to you in a moment of joy”. I stand by it being a wise decision to keep you away from any activities such as woodworking or cooking, and that the money that would have gone into funding those activities was yours to allocate as you wished, but I suspect I’ve found some errors on the records. Firstly, we have two categories of payments going to the soothsayer; one for living expenses, and one, as I have just discovered, labeled “prophecies”. I suspect that- I beg your pardon my liege? We pay for the prophecies? Why on earth- We’re paying them to not deliver us prophecies, that’s why they live out on the far end of the woods. This doesn’t- Tradition? I understand it’s a tradition my liege, but if we are paying for it to be inconvenient to deliver prophecies, and then paying for the prophecies themselves- Is that why your sister wished to go to the soothsayer in person rather than wait for a letter? She was aware of this? And the rest of your sisters too? My liege, surely you see that it undermines our efforts in preventing prophecies to pay for them. At the very least, one of the payments should be discontinued to improve our financial status. You’re right my liege, this is a very complex discussion that requires more time to process, and I shall “shut up about the soothsayer” as you so eloquently put it. We will be discussing this later. The other issue I came to inquire about was that within the records for the entertainment budget, each performance is listed by name. I once again would like to reiterate that the extra funding for entertainment, while not aligning with my recommendations, is reasonable given the circumstances of your prophecy. However, once again with considerations to your prophecy, “Pablo the Knife-Juggler”,

oligy101

My liege, I’m beginning to understand why you have called me to the castle rooftop. As your most trusted advisor, overseeing your actions and assisting with difficult choices is why I have been employed under your family for so long. However, one key aspect of my services that has remained fairly neglected by your sisters, and your father, is that of your prophecy. Often advice regarding your prophecies leads directly to the passing of the crown, and I believe this to be a critical moment in your rule. You had a much simpler prophecy than most of your sisters, but the vagueness that comes with that should really indicate where to place your trust in me, and the rooftop seems to be that very place. If you recall, your prophecy stated that “Pride shall be your downfall”, which- No my liege, I believe that you can do a kick-flip,

luckthebard

Wait you know what I just realized is they also announced this weekend that Matt would be GMing more Age of Umbra so it like they decided that his treatment for DM burnout would be playing in a long campaign and enrichment running a miniseries with full freedom to kill as many PCs as he likes

elymaiis-deactivated20250925

“If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a day; if you teach a man to fish, he will eat for a lifetime,” but you have done neither. You have stood before us and eaten fish after fish, and chided us for our greed as you have done so. You have cast aside their offal and simultaneously chided us for our waste. You then told us that, coincidentally, you owned the river, and our parents should have gotten us the same if we wanted fish. You gave a man a fish to murder us if we step too close to the river, or speak too loud, or eat a fish from another river. You’ve copyrighted the fishing net. It costs us fish to leave.

sexygrammaticalerrors

sail-to-live

Oh no. Really.

wolfmons

luriuan

Sokka and Zuko get SO much funnier when you remember this is both of their first times talking to another teenage boy in years. Sokka had all the other boys leave the tribe when he was little and Zuko just hasn’t talked to other teenage boys. They wanna be friends but have absolutely no clue how to talk to other teenagers. I love them so much.

syciaralynx

2 POORLY SOCIALIZED DOGS BOTH PLAY-BOWING WHEN THE OTHER ISN'T LOOKING.

plotbunny-bundle

They have talked to a teenage boy. However, it was Jet. That was the last and first teenage boy either of them have talked to. and it did not end well.

cleolinda

Radio station WJLX can no longer broadcast its AM programming since the incident.

“What do you mean the tower is gone? Are you sure you’re in the right place? I actually used more colorful words than that,” Brett Elmore recounted to NBC News. “He said there’s wires all over the ground and the tower is gone.”

cleolinda

My favorite tags so far:

baenling

so this lead me down a fucking hour-long rabbit hole. i watched a video (linked on the radio station's wikipedia page) where some young guys walk through the radio tower property a week after it was allegedly stolen, and it's an overgrown jungle. looks like it's been abandoned for years. the door is hanging open and there is lichen growing on the linoleum floor inside. down in the comments there are locals saying the area is not exactly out in the boonies, either; there are people and businesses on that road. not to mention that a 200 foot radio tower is fucking gigantic. there is no crushed vegetation from dismantling the tower. no sign of any vehicles recently on the property other than the 1 set of tire tracks from the police vehicle which came to check it out when the report was received.

the tower wasn't stolen. it hadn't been there for years before the report was filed. google earth shows the tower up on site in 2022 and gone in 2023 so in all likelihood, it fell down sometime then. ALLEGEDLY, the fcc had been on them for an inspection of their am radio tower, and then a week before the fcc were scheduled to come out and inspect it, the station reported the tower missing. so. that's an hour of my life gone. you're welcome? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

cleolinda

Then how… I believe you, but how…

how had they been broadcasting

had they been?

galaxy-sharks-and-bottled-ships

It's easy. They WEREN'T.

Hi, so admittedly I own one of the other radio stations in the same freaking town. And by own I mean it's in my name but I leave the technical stuff to my dad and pretty much absorb my information from being around him and the station all the time.

ANYWAYS!

The guy who runs WJLX isn't actually licensed to run an LPFM he is licensed to run an AM station. The AM station is supposed to be the one he plays his music on and he can run a translator to broadcast onto the FM frequencies as well. BUT! Only if his AM is still the main station. He can't do FM only.

That means two power bills basically. Those can be pretty hefty for a radio station.

And since no one really cares about AM these days he did the worst thing possible. He LET HIS AM STATION GO OFF THE AIR. His AM station has been off the air since as far back 2013. We have video of us testing his frequencies that far back. He's been running full time as an LPFM only for at least a decade now which in his case is illegal AF and is a $10,000 per day fine from the FCC if he's ever caught.

Well, low and behold he was caught and now he's trying to claim he didn't know because his tower was "obviously stolen".

For starters, it was eventually stolen. But only after it had already collapsed to the ground and rusted for several years. Metal scrappers will take nearly anything that looks to have been abandoned long enough.

TLDR; If he'd been running his station properly then he'd have known the exact moment his tower stopped broadcasting. He'd have known the moment it fell. There are these things called silence detectors (at least that's what we call them) and their whole job is to tell us we're not broadcasting anymore.

cleolinda

no shhhh it’s haunted. between dimensions. by Carmen Sandiego.

(thank you, may your station prosper)

mymatedave10

Thank you tumblr for the mystery and the solution.

This is like an episode of Scooby Doo where there’s a mysterious event that surprises everyone but then eventually turns out to be a corrupt businessman lying about things.

It does sadly lack the mid-episode ghost/monster running and chasing scenes though, which is a shame.

allcops

“The police spend very little of their time dealing with violent criminals—indeed, police sociologists report that only about 10% of the average police officer’s time is devoted to criminal matters of any kind. Most of the remaining 90% is spent dealing with infractions of various administrative codes and regulations: all those rules about how and where one can eat, drink, smoke, sell, sit, walk, and drive. If two people punch each other, or even draw a knife on each other, police are unlikely to get involved. Drive down the street in a car without license plates, on the other hand, and the authorities will show up instantly, threatening all sorts of dire consequences if you don’t do exactly what they tell you. The police, then, are essentially just bureaucrats with weapons. Their main role in society is to bring the threat of physical force—even, death—into situations where it would never have been otherwise invoked, such as the enforcement of civic ordinances about the sale of untaxed cigarettes.”

— An excerpt from Ferguson & the Criminalization of American Life by David Graeber (via actjustly)

nudityandnerdery

souperluminal

05.30 - Forest Falls

theotherwesley

He was as tall as he was tall, and his eyes were the color they were. To describe his hair one would say that he had some. His face had all the features you'd expect, and none of the ones you wouldn't. "There he is," people would often say of him, but only when he was there. And they were right.

depsidase

mclennonyaoi

i think it’s funny when someone acts really angry about something you say online. could be whatever. and you check their profile and go. oh wait. you’re literally 14. nevermind. talking about this with you is like 100% useless. and they go “my age has nothing to do with this” like actually your age has everything to do with this. when you are 14 literally everything is influenced by how fucking 14 years old you are.