Ear Bug
Mreyder, Reyes Vidal, Scott Ryder
Sometimes Scott Ryder proves to have sense of humor of a toddler.
Crack.
Being with Scott for as long as he had, Reyes had learned that his lover was sometimes… a little strange. Like right at that very moment. The mighty Pathfinder guffawed randomly as they were chilling on a couch in Reyes’ apartment.
“What?” Reyes asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Ah, I just remembered something. It’s nothing.” Scott tittered, wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes.
“Since when nothing is so hilarious?”
“It’s kind of stupid.” Scott amended, shaking his head.
“When did that stop you before?”
“Hey!” Despite the protest in his voice, Scott laughed. “But okay. You wanna know that badly, I won’t deny you. So, Liam bragged today that he knows a song that will be stuck in your brain for hours once you hear it and you simply can’t stop humming it no matter what. Peebee didn’t believe him so they made a bet that if Cora actually hums the song at some point, he wins. So Liam actually went to the bridge, convinced Kallo and Suvi to give him access to the coms and sang the song, badly, broadcasting it throughout the ship. That confused our non-human crew but then everyone went on with their business as usual. Until, lo and behold, a couple hours later we hear Cora shouting ‘I hate you, Costa’ and biotic flinging Liam across the ship as he laughs his ass off. He nearly broke every bone in his body but at least he won the bet.”
Reyes smiled. Not so much at the story itself but at the way Scott told it, at the lively sparks in his eyes. What a gorgeous man. And all his.
“That was a calculated risk then, I suppose.”
“Sure was. But aren’t you curious what song that was?” Scott asked, his smile far too wide to be innocent.
“If it’s such an ear bug that even your lieutenant lost her mind I’d rather not expose myself to it. I value my brain cells.”
“Well, too bad. Because I’m gonna sing it to you anyway.” Scott took a deep breath and the song flew out of his throat, erratic and out of tune, the abused notes swirling all around them. “Ra-Ra-Rasputin Russia’s greatest love machine, it was a shame how he carried on!”
“Really, Scott?” Reyes gave him a condescending look. “That one?
“It’s a nice song.” Scott shrugged. “Vintage meme song. A classic.”
“Well, too bad I’m immune to it. My concentration is unparalleled.”
“Is that so?” Scott said, challenge in his voice. “I’m betting my pants that in a few hours from now it’s gonna play on repeat in your head.”
“Impossible. But I won’t say no to a free garment…”
“We’ll see who gets the pants in the end.”
Scott bellowed the song a couple more times at irregular intervals and at the most inopportune moments. Once in a middle of an intense make out session, almost causing disgruntled Reyes to kick him out of the bed.
“I swear, Scott, if you sing that song one more time I’m going to start shooting.”
“Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Russia’s greatest love machine, and so they shot him ‘til he was dead!”
Reyes groaned and smacked him with a pillow.
That wasn’t their most successful reunion. At least Scott blew off some steam before returning to the Tempest and flying away.
Reyes sighed. As much as he loved Scott, he was a handful. Finally, Reyes would be able to do some work. He opened his omni-tool.
Ra-Ra-Rasputin…
Well, fuck.
* * *
Scott was about to stand up from his desk and turn in for the night when he heard a silent ping of his omni-tool.
“Pathfinder, you have a new e-mail,” supplied SAM helpfully.
“Yeah, I know. I heard.” Scott tapped a few buttons to see what it was.
A message from Reyes. Only four words.
I hate you, Ryder.
The fit of laugher nearly made him topple to the floor.
He was looking forward to a sight of one pantsless smuggler.
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