Cynical Bitch Muppet

Meredith 30s, she/her, CA/USA, bisexual, depressed

[stuckinapril]

Morgan Freeman had his first breakout roles in his 50s. Leonard Cohen debuted at 33. Toni Morrison published her first novel at 39. Vera Wang entered fashion design at 40. Penelope Fitzgerald published her first novel at 58. Louise Gluck won her Nobel prize at age 77. Edward Said wrote Orientalism at age 42. Charles Bradley debuted with his first album at 62. Those people are literal legends, and no one would think they arrived late. They just arrived when they were ready. You have time to do the thing. You have time to hone your craft on the thing and create something you are truly proud of. You have time

[thehappysmiler]

[rylandsgrace]

Andrew Garfield on consent and privacy

[fozmeadows]

he's right and he should say it

[pixelartpeach]

E—m—d—a—s—h—N—e—c—k—l—a—c—e

[pixelartpeach]

Y—o—u—P—e—o—p—l—e—W—i—l—l—R—e—b—l—o—g—A—n—y—t—h—i—n—g

[seven-oh-four]

needs an em-dash at the beginning and/or end, otherwise the first or last letters will be right next to each other

[pixelartpeach]

϶—O—h—T—r—u—e—ϵ

(added clasps)

[pancake-blogging]

϶—F—r—i—e—n—d—s—h—i—p—B—r—a—c—e—l—e—t—ϵ

[too-many-blorbos]

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

[bees-official]

Cursed amulet necklace that doesnt have a cursed amulet its just the phrase cursed amulet

[sentientballofpeas]

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—(¤)—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

[pixelartpeach]

϶—T÷h÷a÷t÷s÷A÷G÷o÷o—d—P o

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i n

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀t

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀S

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I⠀⠀⠀⠀H

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀T

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀F

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀U

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀C

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀K

⠀⠀⠀⠀M⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Y

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀B⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀EA

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀D

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀S

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ϵ

[poetic----nonsense]

Use a beading board to keep your beads securely in place while working so this doesn't happen

[kyleblackpaw]

i feel like we as a digital society have forgotten the important rules of the internet

Don't feed the trolls

Never give out personal information

Anonymity is the best defense

Don't click suspicious links

Don't click popups and ads

Just because it's written doesn't mean it's true

You are responsible for your own experience

There is porn of everything, act accordingly

[oneheadtoanother]

are you lost little boy

[oneheadtoanother]

This is so much funnier than my caption, dammit

[geewaysgreendayhoodie]

who's pet cishet man is this?

he's very well trained, also super impressive he's at the level of all this and still identifies as the perfect image of white boy

[jaydove-writes]

Apparently his partner is in the comments

[mullet-man05]

It's not just my partner I'm in the comments too :D

[lastoneout]

Sorry about the rant I'm just SO sick of this "we have to be on all the time never look away if you aren't upset about politics and traumatizing yourself watching people die on Twitter you're wrong and complicit and evil" like I know things are fucked and we need to stay angry but we can do that while also taking a minute to crack open a cold one with the boys or have gay sex or get tipsy at the line dance, we HAVE to have joy to remember why the fuck we're refusing to give up in the first place. Fight like hell for your loved ones and then also go home with them to smoke weed and drink sweet tea and make biscuits covered in honey and butter please, please don't deprive yourself of joy, you're allowed to be happy BEFORE the work is done. You're allowed to be happy.

[secondhandhandyhaversack]

The lady I used to live with was adamant that there be a party at any opportunity. They weren't always big, but if there was an occasion in the slightest, there was something done to celebrate it. Sometimes she literally would just say, "this deserves a Diet Coke!" And she would pass me a can from her stash in the closet.

It's important context that she had a very hard life into adulthood. Very poor family. Abusive father. Mentally ill mother. She often had to miss school as a teenager because she had to go find her mother, who would wander off for days into the woods. She also made sure her other siblings were fed, clothed, and at school while she herself was missing out on them.

I once asked her why she did so much celebrating.

She told me that people can choose to celebrate the small stuff if they want to, or not, but life was hard enough and the celebrations, no matter how small, made the other hard things easier. "If two people lead hard lives, and one of them celebrates and the other doesn't, which do you think will survive longer? Get more done? Make it farther?"

Your despondence and self-flagellation doesn't help anyone. Your passion and drive do. So you need to do things that ignite your passions and keep them ignited. Recognize that there is pain and awful suffering in the world. Do what you can to change that. Then do what you need to do to make sure you can keep doing it.

[redgoldsparks]

Self Care Tips From Tumblr: When you feel like everyone hates you, sleep. When you feel like you hate everyone, eat. When you feel like you hate yourself, shower. Someone out there feels better because you exist. 

instagram / patreon / portfolio / etsy / my book / redbubble

[dankmemeuniversity]

[alexandria-1304]

-am I weird af

-do you secretly hate me

-Is my sense of humour really that bad

-can you lend me $100

[monstermoviedean]

i worry that i'm getting rose-tinted glasses about the good ol' days but there are some indisputable facts. summer didn't used to last six months. youtube had no ads and hulu was free. we were making genuine (if minute) progress towards widespread body positivity. it was there i saw it.

[facts-i-just-made-up]

... Are you the real facts-i-just-made-up? 🤨🤨🤨🤨

I was in fact, merely captured by facts-i-just-made-up. Every day, facts-i-just-made-up said that he would kill me in the morning. We eventually became friends and then one day, he said to me-

"I am not the real facts-i-just-made-up. I inherited the blog from the previous facts-i-just-made-up, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from was not the real facts-i-just-made-up wither. His name was Cummerbund. The real facts-i-just-made-up has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia."

He explained that it was the blog name that was important for spewing bullshit on the internet. Nobody would read "facts-just-made-up-by-Ari." That's why the Valhalla books sales have dwindled.

[shithowdy]

i thought my laptop was on its last leg because it was running at six billion degrees and using 100% disk space at all times and then i turned off shadows and some other windows effects and it was immediately cured. i just did the same to my roommate's computer and its performance issues were also immediately cured. okay. i guess.

so i guess if you have creaky freezy windows 10/11 try searching "advanced system settings", go to performance settings, and uncheck "show shadows under windows" and anything else you don't want. hope that helps someone else.

[shithowdy]

hey this is apparently helping a lot of people! adding that on top of this you can also go to settings > personalization > colors and turn off transparency to also boost performance. this wasn't the Big Fix for me but might as well do that too if you're trying to optimize.

[shithowdy]

past a certain note threshold on tumblr posts you unlock a bloodborne-esque insight and the strange lives of this site's users become visible to you

[flipocrite]

(x)

[theothin]

we fucking found them?

[prof-grace-aspen]

Ok I know we joke about this but I just went to the settings and first clicked "adjust for best performance" and then re-checked only 1 box:

"Smooth edges of screen fonts"

My computer was running hot before I turned everything off; the office I'm in is very warm, I could feel the heat of my CPU through the keyboard. The fans were going, not as loud as they usually get, but they were still blasting.

Y'all.

I can barely feel the warmth through the keyboard now. It's been like 2 minutes. The fan is nearly silent.

Click the Windows key and start typing "System settings", and "View Advanced system settings" will pop up. Then click "Settings" under Performance:

Then you'll see this:

TURN IT ALL OFF.

I turned "Show window contents while dragging" and then turned that off again. It's up to you.

[khashanakalashtar]

My computer is so quiet and reasonably-temperatured now and I barely notice a difference in utility, why is windows like this

maybe I can even play computer games again

[paintpencilink]

The second best thing you can do for a Win10 computer is turn off whatever unnecessary services it's decided it needs to run in the background always. Some services it does need, but others are useless. Here's an article that goes into step by steps.

10AppsManager lets you uninstall bloatware. Winaero Tweaker lets you disable crap like Cortana/Copilot, ads, telemetry, internet search results when you search from the taskbar, and all kinds of other stuff, plus it gives you lots of other little options that are just nice to have (like, it can restore the old MS Paint program in place of Paint 3D). Both are totally free.

Oh, and check your startup programs in the Task Manager tab to make sure your computer isn't automatically starting eight million programs every time it boots. But I think people mostly know about that. (Unless this is me going "they only know one or two feldspars... and quartz of course.")

The first best thing you can do for a Windows computer is install Linux Mint. But some of us do need a few pesky Windows-specific programs. Bleh. Still, if you're up for a project, you can have both (and it's awesome). Here's an article about setting up a dual boot Windows/Mint system.

[thebibliosphere]

My apologies to whatever poor Ao3 tag wrangler first sees the 'Bruce Wayne Muppet Threeesome' tag.

Your gift basket is in the mail.

[thebibliosphere]

"OP provide context"

Scroll my blog in fear like God intended.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

I feel like the fact that I'm clearly stuck at the airport adds Energy to this one:

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

(the bottom embellishments are crosses with a nail, iykyk)

[stealingpotatoes]

i wish i could text my cat to check on him when I'm out but his whole illiterate thing really gets in the way

[gayvampyr]

“paid subscription with ads” is fucking crazy. if you pay for a service and then get served an ad on said service you should be allowed to pipe bomb its executive at no legal risk

[new-xkit-extension]

Deprecating New XKit

Hi all, it's been a while!

tl;dr: You should use XKit Rewritten, it's new, shiny, and getting consistent updates. Get it from here: https://addons.tumblr.com/post/661324873572974592/xkit-rewritten. If you want to customize the appearance of Tumblr you should use the built-in settings or Palettes for Tumblr. You shouldn't rely on New XKit, it's old and busted.

Around four years ago, April, a core contributor to New XKit, started the XKit Rewritten and wider @addons projects to create a modern alternative to the already somewhat moldy New XKit. This was with our complete support, and many members of the New XKit team now also help out with XKit Rewritten and other addons.

Chrome and Firefox have both phased out support for older extensions, requiring challenging workarounds to install New XKit. It's become very clear that anyone who is still using New XKit would really have a better time using XKit Rewritten, Palettes and Outbox for Tumblr, and the couple XKit-inspired core Tumblr features.

If you continue to use New XKit for some key part of your Tumblr workflow be warned that it's past the end of its digital lifespan. Despite the name, New XKit is a crumbling old cathedral. You can still walk around in it if you really want to, but it has been fenced off for safety and a brick might fall on your head.

One key difference we'd like to highlight is that XKit Rewritten intentionally doesn't have a Blacklist feature, leaving it to Tumblr's native post filtering functionality. If you still need the specific functionality of New XKit's Blacklist, you can keep it installed alongside XKit Rewritten. Click here for a list of other frequently asked questions.

To summarize: Get XKit Rewritten here: https://addons.tumblr.com/post/661324873572974592/xkit-rewritten. It's like New XKit but designed for modern Tumblr and consistently updated. New XKit will still be around for anyone who really needs it but is a much buggier experience.

Thank you all very much for using New XKit! On behalf of the whole team it's been a great time with all of you here on [tumblr].

[gumy-shark]

“the heart wants what it wants”? okay well the heart is fucking stupid can we let someone else have a turn? maybe the spleen wants to have a go?