( history has its eyes on you. )

a folded flag. a purple heart.  i fought your fight. bought your lie. 

[brashir]

     ❝ i can see you’ve done that before. ❞                                                            ❝ too many times. ❞

[rpforthesoul]

Rooster Teeth Starters Pt. 1

“ Life’s not a bitch. Life is a beautiful woman. ” “ Oh dog dog dog dog dog. There’s a dog next to you. Please pet ot. It needs to be pet. ” “ Where am I? What way up am I? ” “ I don’t hate kids, I’m inconvenienced by them. ” “ Brunch is how I learned to be a classy alcoholic. ” “ I love hating people. ” “ Tears make great lube. ” “ Everybody was gay in the 90s. ” “ You sucked my nipples! ” “ On a scale of one to fucked up, guess where I am right now. ” “ The ocean has no corners. ” “ We are not moving on until I know what a blue waffle is. ” “ I need to lay down and die now. ” “ That was traumatic. ” “ I cam here to tell clean, wholesome, family jokes, and you make me show my balls/tittys! ” “ There’s nothing more relaxing than a coma. ” “ Thanks or being the closest thing I have to friends. ” “ Cool is an emotion. ” “ I guess I’m a dumb bitch. ” “ Gravity is bullshit. ” “ I hate everyone equally. ” “ People aren’t cats. ” “ I have never stuck a finger in my asshole in a sexy way and sent it to a partner because they asked me to do it. ” “ From sucking dicks to eating cake. I love it! ” “ Considering this may be my last testament, tell everyone I know to go fuck themselves. ” “ I’m only gay in my car. ” “ They died being killed. ” “ Call me the Titanic, because I’m sinking about you. ” “ I’m sucking that big dick in the sky right now. ” “ Virginity is like your GPA when you’re an adult. No one fucking cares. ” “ Tired. Sleepy. Need money. ” “ Get fucked, me. ” “ I’m a lovely delicate flower, and also just fuck me hard. ” “ I thought the moon was a mile away in sixth grade. ” “ All the pretty things are broken. ” “ You were born to be THAT guy. ” “ France is in Italy, right? ” “ How up is space? ” “ Shiver me titties. ” “ I have the reflexes of a potato. ” “ I BLEACHED MY BUTTHOLE FOR YOU. ” “ Cockadoodle bitch biscuit. ” “ Is my finger suposed to bend this way? ” “ You don’t get warmer than hell. ” “ You look like you fingered Elmo. ” “ Look at all those wack-ass trees! ” “ I wish you were naked. ” “ Are you havin’ my ass? ” “ You can’t out-think someone who doesn’t think. ” “ You’ve gotta fuck things sometimes! ” “ I get turned on by people who can beat the shit out of me. ” “ I was just thinking about horse dick. ” “ Ding Dong, asshole! ” “ With great power comes, uh, you fuck shit up a lot. ” “ You can be beautiful on the inside and outside, you piece of shit. ” “ I am concerned about everything. ” “ Good lord on a bike. ” “ Time to make like a tree and branch. ” “ Here’s a fun fact about [[name]]. They’re dying from the inside out. ” “ I don’t trust the sun anymore. ” “ I didn’t think that Uno without dicks could be fun. ” “ First one to pass out is a bitch. ” “ Y'all are supposed to shut the fuck up. ” “ I’m going to mars out of SPITE motherfucker. ” “ I’m made of bad ideas. ” “ I don’t believe in numbers because I think they’re stupid. ” “ I agreed to a scary game, not a dildo in my mouth. ”

[6c617a]

[shonensupreme]

Apparently it’s national kissing day! You know what that means~

[shonensupreme]

It means you can all kiss my ass

[gallusrostromegalus]

So becuase I’m living in an appartment building and have no yard into which I may release Charlie when his little doggy bladder fills up, I end up walking him at strange hours of the night in all manner of weather, becuase I love him.

So tonight it’s single-digits and snowing, and while we’re walking back, I see a big gray tabby curled up with it’s back to us on the porch of one of the houses that’s not yet occupied.  It doesn’t look up at us when we pass by, or when charlie doubles back and starts climbing the stairs to sniff it.

Understandably worried that someone’s pet is lose or that one of the ferals is goign to be a kitty popsicle, I hurry home, collect the cat carrier and go back to the porch to bring kitty in from the cold.  Since I will probably need both hands to carry it back and there’s enough ambient light, I don’t take a flashlight.

Kitty must be very asleep becuase it doesn’t look up when I put the crate down, or when I walk up to it, but the *second* I touch just one of its little kitty fluffs, It’s head pops up with the loudest, deepest “brrp?” cat start-up noise ever.

…and I realize by the large tufted ears and buff shoulder muscles that the thing I am attempting to pick up is not an unusually large tabby.  

It’s the fucking Bobcat.

Fortunately, instead of maiming me, like my idiot ass deserves, it lets out a demonic YEEEAAUGH and flings itself off the porch, fleeing into the night, and I sit there waiting for my heart to start beating again, presumably to tell it’s bobcat buddies all about it’s attempted alien abduction.

So how is everyone else’s night going?

[gdyb]

Drop-dead gorgeous. 🖤

[catwitching]

[richieskirsch]

On The Spot - part 2

fuck it y’all here’s some more i guess. change pronouns as needed.

“Every time you open your mouth, I just feel bad for hiring you.”

“That’s the Diddle Finger.”

“There was a consensus that my head to body ratio was fucked.”

“Every answer made it worse.”

“How many people do you need to technically have an orgy?" 

"Tonight, you’re climbing up that chimney and making a nest." 

"Grandpa was an asshole." 

"He had a micro penis?" 

"I think I understand what feels good in a vagina a little better than you do." 

"You never wanna fight a man with his dick out." 

"I like the idea of fucking something then eating it.”

 "Dude, if I’ve ever seen an animal, it’s Danny Devito.“ 

"You’re telling me you haven’t eaten ___ after you fucked her?" 

"Like vagina Muppets." 

"I’m losing a lot of blood okay, so, give me a break.”

“Are you sweating or is that grease?”

“You look like a Make-A-Wish kid.”

“You know too many Smash Mouth songs.”

“Also, they were in Kim Possible.”

“He’s so fucking tipsy.”

“Can I have a pink one ‘cause it matches me sweater?”

“When you earn some points, bitch.” 

“Make a baby and get back to me.” 

“I can’t say Mexican?” 

“You want some tea, crumpets and cocaine?” 

“___ looks like he just ate out a snowman.”

[conniect-deactivated20210801]

Reblog this if you’re a blog that’s affiliated with the Rooster Teeth Show Red vs Blue. Put in the tags your character (OCs and multimuse included) and whether you’re private, selective, oc friendly, etc. You can also reblog this if you have a RvB verse, so be sure to mention that in the tags!

[fatelesssuggestion]

You want me dead? Get in line. You’re not the first one, and you certainly won’t be the last.

[d3adm1nds-deactivated20250707]

🥀you’re like a Rose, even with thorns you’re still beautiful🥀

[exceptionals]

me after doing some impulsive shit that i know im gonna regret later: its called being spontaneous

[tannerreynolds]

[svtvan-deactivated20150301]

*gives you a noticeable hickey on your neck to create problems in your household*

[destructivour-aa]

“Destroy my desires, eradicate my ideals, show me something better, and I will follow you.”

— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from the Underground (via ofenemies)

[nuggles]

“tell us about yourself”

[thedirectahry]

Hey! Could you do me a favour and reblog THIS post if you are a Red vs Blue rp blog that would like to be added to the Masterlist? This extends to canon divergent blogs, OC’s and blogs with a Red vs Blue verse! Just fill this out in the tags if you can!

Character name / Type (Canon, oc, or verse) / selectivity

Or, request to be added via my ask box.

Thank you!