no thoughts brain empty

| dan + 23 + he | a very generic white guy

[dairyfreedan]

Every time I make a text post about my life I feel like it could be summed up succinctly:

[kangals]

kep's favorite hobby is crawling onto your lap so he can breathe really loudly and wetly 1 inch away from your face. it is so so important to him that you let him do this.

[kangals]

HI HI HI HI

[garbagevarmint]

your beautiful horse really inspired me

[identifying-dogs]

Rough Collie

[fullmetalfisting]

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

[elmyraerased]

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

fuck my stupid baka life I should have been a male black widow backflipping into death via wild cannibalistic sexual behavior

[moonlithorror]

@pangur-and-grim

[mellifexfarm]

who even is this guy

[nineherbscharm]

is there anything funnier than somebody who has a tumblr account trying to seem like theyre above fandom

[bisexual-cyborg]

via @coniello

[ruderubicante]

A Love for Ignorance

[epicsause-official]

so the wikipedia page for this defunct company has a tiny bit of funny phrasing in its opening paragraph:

now because i know wikipedia editors Don't Like It When Wikipedia Is Funny i looked at the talk page and it did not dissapoint

[thetetra]

the "here we go again" is so SO telling

[lazer-exe]

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

[kitkenk]

hey i felt you right click me just now. are you seriously viewing my properties? pervert

[emailmore]

[howtofuckyourkramer]

im so in love with this post one time i got really really high and decided since i dont have a printer that i was going to paint it and hang it up on my wall

[alastairvox]

there's only 7 words on the painting and you managed to misspell the two largest ones

[melynnwaters]

"there's only 2 colors in the night sky and you managed to paint completely new and different colors"

that's how you sound right now

[animentality]

[gremlinservant]

Just vaccinated three kids and got kicked thank GOD I am selling them today

Edit:

THIS IS A POST ABOUT GOATS!!

[funstyle]

i legiterately always feel like that person on reddit who posted "is it weird if i go on a walk like is everyone gonna be freaked out". i feel like that every minute of every day

[seracadash]

My hate for the military vs my love for the 🫡 emoji

[homunculus-argument]

Can someone explain what exactly is the train of thought in people who see a post like "hey if you set your huge fucking dog that runs up to strangers unprompted and also tackles people for fun loose in a public park on purpose, and you just watch that thing endanger everyone without doing anything to stop it, you are an asshole" and decide to dissect it like "hey what if it isn't a huge dog, but just a really really tiny one, who is actually also really skittish of strangers, and I didn't take it off the leash on purpose and it's also not my dog, and actually not a dog at all and was actually just a squirrel? Am I an asshole for seeing a squirrel in the park?" And they're dead fucking serious.

[bish0ps]

Remember when you could look things up online. Do you remember how we used to search