Tryin To Stay Positve 🧘🏾‍♀️

[dankmemeuniversity]

[stereofeathers]

What I expected moving to texas: oh hm, cowboy boot... steak..,? the ole' prairie. youve been invited to,come lasso a tumbleweed,! 'howdy there sherriff' as a tramp stamp tattoo. Sweet teA hp potion... country girls make do

What I got when I moved to texas: i cant really leave the house bc theres about 20-30 of these big blue crabs that came up from their underground tunnels bc of the wet and rainy weather all standing on the patio having a fucking clawnference meeting

[gonanatop]

Texas:*spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spa

[kentuckyfriedfungus]

[bloomflowersbloom]

[64bitwar]

this is stomp dog it shows up to stomp away sadness

[jssyca-deactivated20200609]

[booksfunquotes]

[jaubaius]

Love this professor Potato🥔🤓

[kaijuno]

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

Just why? via Shitty_Car_Mods

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Get this off your blog, this car is great.

[such-justice-wow]

CHANGE YOUR BLOG URL

[atma-starfish-deactivated201902]

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[suddenly-sara]

Trans girls give me life... Just seeing them discovering and ENJOYING femininity in such an unbridled way...

[jay-kwellyn]

This feeling is everything

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

[astronautsbz-deactivated2023033]

“Your teen comes home and you smell MARIJUANA now what?”

this calls for AIR GUITAR

[severalowls]

I’m absolutely not against robits in the home, I think the possibilities are really cool but like… Alright actually, here’s a side by side comparison: 

[evilkillerpoptarts]

[maestropear]

Alexa can play Skyrim tho

[severalowls]

Damn you’re right.

I’m on mobile can somebody add that as a point for Roomba.

[mysteryseeker]

here you go

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

Roomba creates maps of the inside of your house

[severalowls]

You’re like the 400th person to add this so:

This is the outline of my bedroom, with approximate furniture. Information I might not want handed out to the government or corporations or whatever. Not even including dubious terrain like rugs and clutter:

Here’s what a roomba, at floor level, with clutter and obstructions and stuff-under-stuff might be able to ‘map’ as navigable area:

This is completely useless to anybody except people developing robot vaccuums who might want diagnostic data. This isn’t even close to the level of Alexa’s microphone bollocks. Hit Alexa with a hammer, Roomba is… Safe, for now.

[hecatespoison]

I saw the red and blue and my first response was “Roomba is using this sensitive information for GERRYMANDERING purposes”

[ralfmaximus]

SWAT team, bursting into your room, having been briefed with detailed Roomba-collected maps: *avoids difficult rug*

[weaver-z]

The council will decide your fate

[weaver-z]

[funnytwittertweets]

[puttyhill-deactivated20140114]

[danhumphrey]

peter parker, expressing his affection as any teen would: thor i would die for you :)

thor, gripping his shoulders with the intensity of ten thousand burning suns: i would never let that happen

[sunderious]

peter parker, later that week: i would die for you loki

loki, looking him dead in the eye: you will.

[rhythmic-idealist]

drax: [really bad joke]

peter parker: mr. drax? I would die for you

drax, with a pause spent determining that peter is probably joking and then a hearty guffaw: but my muscles and fighting power are several times your own! your death would be meaningless!

[aplpaca]

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies