The conversation around Brendon Urie has become one of the clearest examples of how internet culture often struggles with nuance, growth, and the complicated reality of fame.
Over the years, Brendon has gone from being the frontman of a relatively niche alternative band to becoming a mainstream celebrity whose music reached massive audiences. And somewhere along the way, the narrative around him shifted from admiration to relentless scrutiny. While criticism of public figures is inevitable, much of the hatred directed toward him feels less rooted in reality and more rooted in resentment toward his success, visibility, and evolution as an artist.
When Panic! at the Disco first emerged in the mid-2000s, they were embraced as outsiders within the alternative scene. Fans connected to the theatrical music, the dramatic lyrics, and the sense that the band existed outside the mainstream.
But as the years passed, the sound evolved. Songs became bigger, more polished, and more commercially successful. Albums produced chart-topping hits, arena tours sold out, and Brendon became the face of the project. Ironically, the very success many artists dream of became one of the reasons some people turned against him.
There is a pattern in music culture where artists are celebrated while they are considered āunderrated," but the moment they achieve widespread popularity, they are accused of selling out or losing authenticity.
Brendon became an easy target for this mentality. To some fans, mainstream success somehow invalidated the emotional connection they once felt with the music. Instead of accepting that an artist can grow and still remain genuine, critics reframed his popularity as evidence that he had become manufactured or insincere.
Yet there is little evidence that Brendon abandoned creativity or passion. If anything, his performances consistently showed intense dedication, vocal talent, and a genuine love for entertaining people.
Another reason the hate surrounding Brendon feels exaggerated is the internet's tendency to flatten people into either heroes or villains. Online discourse rarely leaves room for complexity. Mistakes are treated as permanent definitions of character rather than moments within a larger life story. Brendon has openly apologized for past behavior and comments that offended people, and by many accounts, he changed long before the internet decided to continually revisit those moments.
However, in online culture, apologies are often treated as meaningless regardless of sincerity. For some people, the goal is no longer accountability or growth; it is permanent punishment.
This creates an impossible standard.
Society often claims to value education, personal development, and becoming better over time, yet when someone actually demonstrates change, many refuse to acknowledge it. Instead years-old controversies are recycled repeatedly as though they happened yesterday. The cycle becomes less about justice and more about maintaining outrage.
In Brendon's case, every discussion seems to return to the same handful of moments, stripped of context and repeated endlessly across social media. The result is a distorted public image that ignores years of positive actions, charitable work, advocacy, and the countless people who describe him as kind and supportive behind the scenes.
There is also an uncomfortable reality about fame that people rarely admit: audiences often resent individuals who appear too successful, too talented, or too visible for too long.
Brendon's vocal ability, stage presence, and crossover appeal made him stand out even outside alternative music spaces. He became recognizable beyond the fandom. And with visibility comes backlash. The internet frequently builds people up only to tear them down once they become too prominent.
This pattern can be seen across music, film, sports, and virtually every area of entertainment. Popularity creates overexposure, and overexposure creates a culture where criticism becomes trendy.
What makes the situation especially frustrating for many fans is that the hatred often ignores the positive impact Brendon had on people. His music helped listeners through grief, loneliness, anxiety, and personal struggles.
His openness about self-expression encouraged fans who felt different or out of place. He used his platform to advocate for causes he believed in and donated to organizations supporting marginalized communities.
None of this means he should be viewed as flawless, but it does mean that conversation should be balanced. Reducing a person entirely to their worst moments while erasing everything else is not accountability; it is dehumanization.
The larger issue revealed through the treatment of Brendon Urie is how modern internet culture encourages outrage over understanding.
Algorithms reward conflict, negativity spreads faster than nuance, and people often gain social approval by publicly condemning others. In this environment, complexity disappears. A person is either completely good or completely irredeemable.
But real human beings do not fit into those categories. They evolve, learn, fail, improve, and contradict themselves.
Expecting perfection from artists while denying them the ability to grow creates a culture that is both unrealistic and deeply cynical.
Ultimately, it is completely valid for individuals to dislike Brendon Urie or disconnect from his music if they choose. No artist is universally loved, and criticism is part of being a public figure.
However, the level of hostility directed toward him often feels disproportionate to reality, fueled less by genuine concern and more by internet dogpiling, resentment of mainstream success, and the refusal to let people move forward from past mistakes.
The conversation surrounding Brendon says as much about modern fandom culture as it does about him. It reflects a world where success can breed resentment, nuance is often abandoned, and outrage is sometimes valued more than growth.
At the end of the day, Brendon Urie is not a flawless symbol or a villainous caricature. He is an artist who became extraordinarily successful, made mistakes, apologized, evolved, and continued creating music that meant something to millions of people.
The inability of many online spaces to hold all of those truths at once may be the biggest misunderstanding of all.
I was crying about this at work today and Spag had to send me fucking this:
āyeah, can you imagine first seeing him?ā
And so, Stiles and Derek are not ready for parenthood and are totally freaked out by their weird son:
Derekās quiet for a long time, staring blankly, before he eventually offers, āThis isnāt what I expected.ā
Stiles frowns down at the baby in his arms. āI know, right? They wonāt take it back; I already asked.ā
Derek leans over him, peering down at the weird little face. Itās unsettling how thick the babyās eyebrows are. āAre babies born with teeth?ā
āNot usually,ā Stiles replies. āHis grody little snaggletooth is creeping me out.ā
"His everything is creeping me out,ā Derek retorts, dropping into the chair at the side of the bed. āIām pretty sure this is because you got possessed by that demon.ā
"Aw, hell no,ā Stiles argues. āThat thing was in me for like five minutes, tops. This thingĀ - ā he nods toward the baby in his arms ā - you donāt absorb this kind of evil in five minutes. This is like ten years possession minimum.ā
"What are we going to name him?ā
āBeats me. Calling him after your dad seems kind of disrespectful to your dad, doesnāt it?ā
Derek sighed heavily. āHe probably would have found this hilarious. I told you my familyās cursed.ā He squinted over at Stiles. āYou sure itās even a boy?ā
āDude, Iām not sure itās even human,ā Stiles replies. āSeriously, how come shit like this always happens to us?ā
"Because the universe knows weāll grin and bear it,ā Derek sighs again. āYou sure we canāt send it back?ā
"No,ā Stiles grumbles discontentedly, and straightens as his father steps into the room. He cradles the baby protectively to his chest; even if the thingās weird as hell, itās still his. āWhoa, Dad, before you pull out your gun and shoot the baby, I can promise you, with about ninety-percent certainty, that I didĀ not give birth to a cave beast, even though it mayĀ look that way. And maybe this is our fault because Derekās so fricken possessive of his jizz and refused to use a surrogate so we had to resort to black magic and give me a magical womb - so actually this is Derekās fault, really - this is your grandson. Probably. Weāre not too clear on the gender right now.ā
The sheriff sighs, as he so often does when confronted with his sonās verbal onslaught, and holds out his hands, a silentĀ give me the child. Stiles puckers his mouth and hands over his son and watches the sheriffās face cycle through several emotions, ending, bewilderingly, onĀ happiness.
"HeāsĀ beautiful,"Ā his father croons, and Stiles looks over, bewildered, at Derek, who mouthsĀ Heās not lying.Ā He looks just as perplexed as Stiles.Ā
"Just wait until Melissa sees him,ā the sheriff says cheerfully, pulling his phone out of his pocket and snapping a picture.
āYeah,ā Stiles agrees slowly. Heās already regretting having shown his father how to use the camera on his phone. āJust wait.ā
Newly Grandpaād Stilinski showās pictures of his most PRECIOUS OF ALL GRANDCHILDREN to who heās interrogating so that if they look at the face of SUCH AN ANGEL theyāll confess and lead a good life. Ā
Sorry, Spag, if the first one was stupid, then this oneās just idiotic. Iām going to bed. This is your fault.
They name it Herald. It was supposed to be Harold, after Derekās grandfather, who Derek says was a weird old man and Stiles says thatās fitting, then, but Stiles was asleep when it came time to fill out the birth certificate and Derek couldnāt remember how to spell Harold, so he sounded it out.Ā
So their kidās name is Herald, but mostly they call him It. They donāt tell him itās because they didnāt even know if he was human when he was born because he may be a little weirdo, but heās their little weirdo, and they donāt want to stunt his mental health. Stiles almost tells him itās because they loved The Addams Family, but then he thinks about how Cousin It was a weird thing covered in hair and maybe thatās not a great comparison.Ā
It creeps them out. He is unnaturally silent, always with this bucktoothed little smile on his face that makes Stiles sure that he and Derek are going to be killed in their sleep. Stiles distinctly remembers playing hide and seek with him when he was young, Stiles and Derek crammed together in a cupboard and Derek mumbled, "I canāt hear his fucking heart,ā and then Itās creepy little eye was pressed up to the crack in the door like the killer in a slasher fic and Stiles screamed like a little girl.Ā
Still, theyāre sad when he grows up and heads off to college. Heās still creepy; heās got bad skin and his heavy eyebrows almost touch in the middle, but they kiss him on the forehead and say āWeāll miss you!ā which is probably true. And when he drives off into the battered Jeep, Stiles says to Derek, āI think we just unleashed a hellion unto the world,ā and Derek says, āToo late now.ā And Stiles does miss him, up until a few days later when he goes to clean Itās room and finds a box of desiccated frog corpses under his bed.Ā
They donāt hear from It that often, which isnāt unusual, nor unexpected. One time they lost him for a few days and Stiles found him sitting in the attic, perfectly still. He said heād been counting heartbeats and neither of them really wanted to ask whose. Still, they miss him. Probably.
One morning Stiles goes downstairs and thereās a stranger standing in the living room. Itās near Christmas and he has a vague idea that It should be coming home soon, but he is not prepared for the sight of a handsome young man standing next to the Christmas tree. Stiles screams.Ā
āThatās It,ā Derek says from behind him.Ā
āOh my god,ā Stiles says. āWhereād our ugly little boy go?ā Heād told It once not to worry about his looks, that everyone starts out awkward. Look at your dad, Stiles said, pointing Derek. He had to grow into those stupid buck teeth and big ears, and It had turned his eyes on Derek and didnāt blink for five minutes. Stiles hadnāt really believed that It would ever, uh, grow into himself, but it appears he was wrong, because his weird kid has turned into a GQ model. āJust like his dad,ā Stiles says out loud, and Derek pushes him down the stairs.Ā
I know "60s housewives who invented slash fanfiction" has taken on a life of its own as a phrase, but Kirk/Spock didn't really exist until the 70s and THOSE WOMEN HAD JOBS. They were teachers and librarians and bookkeepers and scientists and they damn well spent their own money going to conventions, printing zines, buying fanart and making fandom happen. Put some respect on their names.
It was women with secretarial jobs doing a lot of the heavy lifting, if memory serves correctly.
They had training in type setting, could churn things out quickly, knew how to organise mailing lists, and had easy access to Expensive High Tech like photocopiers.
Boss make a dollar, she makes a dime. That's why she's printing Kirk X Spock zines on company time.
We need to talk about fandom's inability to accept endings
Listen, sometimes it's warranted (I'm looking at you, Supernatural š).
But more often than not, I find myself in a fandom that flips out about the ending of a show, despite the fact that the ending was genuinely well thought out and objectively effective in tying up the story.
It has happened to me multiple times that I finish a show and nod, thinking, "Yeah, this was a nice way to wrap it up." Then I go on TikTok or, especially guilty, Instagram, and what do I see? People in a frenzy, cyber-storming and harassing the creators, making mean-spirited rants about how the ending was trash and awful, and how dare they do this... And I'm just sitting there, like... huh?
And I think we desperately need to talk about this, but I don't have a long-format YouTube channel to analyze things, so Tumblr it is.
So far, I have identified 3 key issues fans have that cause this phenomenon, and unsurprisingly, the main theme is a lack of media literacy. But just shrugging it off with that is not enough for me, so here they are, with examples of two fandoms where I have seen this fallout live time:
Writers have no reason or obligation to canonize your headcanons - example: Stranger Things.
Y'all, it was EXHAUSTING being in the ST fandom when part 2 of S5 dropped. People were MAD mad, and after swifting through the hate comments, it seemed most people were mad about one thing: Byler. (Now, I want to put a disclaimer, bc people do have a piss poor reading comprehension on this site: this is not to say every criticism for ST s5 was unwarranted. There were legit issues with the narrative, there were some plotholes and the show overall struggled with its overload of characters, so obviously, some side characters didn't have space to get a proper end. And Netflix's insistence on more CGI def didn't help. But the overload of hate the Duffer brothers got was not justified.)
Truly, I have no idea what reality Byler fans lived in that made them so delulu... And I'm saying this as a fellow shipper who is a sucker for friends to lovers. But Byler was not canon the way the fans wanted, and was never going to be. Since s1, this love triangle of Will being in love with Mike and Mike being with El was set up, and it was very clear they were going to carry it out. It's not "queerbait" if the show never promised an ending where Mike was with Will. I don't deny it's a cute ship. But your ship doesn't have to be canon for you to enjoy it. Stonathan and Ronancy aren't canon, I still like them, so what. This insistence that a ship is somehow superior or only valid if it's canon is genuinely harmful to fandom culture as a whole.
But the main point here is: just bc a theory or ship is popular in the fandom, that doesn't mean the creators of canon have an obligation to make it true. The creators are entitled to write the story they want to write. I understand feeling upset if the reason for something not becoming canon is homophobia (again, looking at you, Supernatural), but ST is not a homophobic show. It simply made a gay love story that was not reciprocated. Which is incredibly important representation btw. (Hands up all the gays who had a crush in school/as a teen that went nowhere šāāļø bc I can relate.) Just bc it's not the expected ending, that doesn't mean it's a bad ending.
(Y'all, I genuinely fear for what will happen in the Wednesday fandom once the show ends, bc I have a feeling it will go down the same path of nothing is good enough...)
2. The writers don't owe you happiness - example: Good Omens
This is also kind of true for ST, but I wanted to bring up another example where it's even more accurate. So a few days ago, the GO finale came out on Prime, and the reactions to it have been so conflicting it's nuts. Some fans agree that it was a great ending (me included), while others have been outraged and spamming comments, demanding that the studio release the "original script". Now, fair to say, GO 3 was noticeably rushed, and the 100-minute runtime was much too small for what the story required. But that isn't the fault of the story or the production; that is on Neil Gaiman and his nasty ass for not being able to be a decent person. His scandal jeopardized the entire project of s3, and for a long time, it seemed like there wasn't going to be anything done. It's a miracle in itself that we got this movie to begin with. And it was possible bc the rest of the writers and crew cared so much about these characters, and wanted to give them a proper end. Which they did. Despite all the impossible challenges, they pulled together an ending that was incredibly bittersweet and perfectly in character.
Then what is the issue, you might ask? The 'bitter' part of bittersweet. It seems like people now can't emotionally handle a story that doesn't end with every duck lined up perfectly. Honestly, people wanted a fix-it fic... while forgetting that many fix-its handwave away certain emotional hiccups in order to deliver that yummy fluff. Which is something you can't do in canon.
(SPOILER FOR GO 3)
The main "issue" is that it wasn't Crowley and Aziraphale that got together (tho I'd argue they died with the full knowledge they loved each other and that is sometimes enough); but their human reincarnations, Anthony and Asa. The most repeated complaint is "but they're not the same characters I loved :((", which completely misses the point that they are still the same soul, but born as humans instead. They got everything they could've wanted: a universe where humans are free, to be human, and to be able to live together without any strings pulling them away. I feel like ppl don't realize that there was no way demon Crowley and angel Azi could've been together. Truth is, with divine knowledge, they would always feel a sense of responsibility for humans. Even if Heaven and Hell disappeared, and they just kept on going, but without power, all their baggage would pull them down. Instead, they got to experience true freedom, and found each other not bc it was ineffable, but bc their love was so strong, it remembered even when their minds didn't. Honestly, if a person knows anything about reincarnation, karma, and the true way our souls travel from body to body, they immediately understand the ending. And I do. But spiritual messaging aside, GO fans often forget Crowley and Azi were never a proper couple. S2 clearly shows that during those 6000 years, Crowley was completely unaware they were in-love. You can actually see the exact moment during his conversation with Nina when he realizes. Meanwhile Azi always kind of knew how strongly he felt about Crowley, but he denied it even to himself. He was an angel, and he prided himself on being a proper angel at that. Sure, he wasn't, but he believed himself to be. His entire worldview and self-identity were based on the concept that Heaven is good, Hell is bad, Earth is neutral, and therefore angels are good, demons are bad, and humans are both. His love and devotion to Crowley was a threat to everything he believed in, everything he stood for, the very order of the universe. I mean, ffs, it took the destruction of the entire universe for him to be able to admit his feelings! And Aziraphale could not let the two exist together. But at the same time, he also could not let Crowley go; in fact, you can see him get more and more dependent on Crowley as time moved forward. So he just kept this limbo alive, which was ultimately destructive to both of them. And Crowley went along with it, not even fully comprehending why, he just felt the love and connection, that underlying feeling that Aziraphale is the only person who can even remotely love or understand him in this cold, dark world. So he let himself be used and bossed around, while also being incapable of reflecting on his feelings or finding a solution, just wanting to run away from the conflict. If you think about it, they were kind of toxic for each other, and in this context, with their baggage, they would always be toxic. It was only after they were freed from the context that warped them into this 'with-you-without-you' limbo that they could actually be each other's partners with no damage.
(SPOILER OVER)
3. Your fear of pain is not the fault of the writers - it's the fault of fascism
This is where the issue really lies. People have been conditioned not to accept negative feelings as natural or necessary. From schools censoring the hard parts of history to not upset the kids, to social media censoring words like fuck, kill, rape, or genocide to keep things "user-friendly"... Our environment is constantly pushing the notion that discomfort is unacceptable and you should never feel sad. When really, sadness, fear, disgust, and anger are more than natural, they are inherent parts of humanity. But in the current climate, it's all about performing happiness, neatness, and perfection. From the botox-craze, to the aestheticization of everything, all the way to the dumbing down of media. Where if a show makes you sad, then it must be written badly, if a comment makes you angry, it must be from a stupid person, anyone who makes a mistake is evil, and anything that's upsetting or inconvenient must be broken and thrown away immediately. This is happening, this is the underlying issue. This societal push.
Because it's actually perfectly valid to feel sad that a show you've invested so much time and love into has ended. It's fair to feel a sense of grief that manifests as anger or sadness. And it's especially natural to feel sadness over a bittersweet ending, bc bittersweet is supposed to be sad. What isn't valid is that, instead of processing these feelings, people throw everything back at the creators, pretending they did a bad job. When in fact, art is supposed to make you feel intense emotions, this is the whole purpose of its existence. But people nowadays expect conflict-free escapism and refuse to engage critically with the media they consume (and no, typing out "this was shit and I hope you die" is not critical engagement).
Allison and Derek: š¤ accepting that they also got their spouse's lifelong platonic partner when they married them (and take turns hosting the boys' weekly sleepovers)
They are a set!! do not separate!!
(my favorite thing about fake twitter/insta posts are when derek's handle was clearly set up by stiles so have my humble addition to the bunch lol)
Original under the cut:
Knowyourmeme page bc the original tweet doesn't exist anymore š«”
Yeah sure Tumblr is a hellsite but I know someone who wrote a fanfic in the 1990s that someone else didnāt like, so when she was selling printed copies of the zine with the story in it out of her hotel room at a convention, this other woman STOOD IN FRONT OF HER DOOR TO REFUSE PEOPLE ACCESS. Because the story featured a ship she disliked. And I feel like somehow, 10,000 TumblrsĀ stillĀ canāt compare to that level of Extra.
Iāve actually heard about this event [or a similar event, which I can believe] from someone who was trying to get into the room to either buy the zine, or visit with the writer, or just see what was going on [idr]. Apparently it was quite the talk of the bar that night, and resulted in several heated [re: drunken] debates over whether Door Stander was violating Writerās free speech, or if removing Door Stander would have violated Door Standerās free speech.
Me, at the time, a 19yo with very little understanding of the law: āI meanā¦was it?ā
Fandom Friend, who was a 40-something lawyer: āIāll tell you the same thing I told everyone in that bar. No one was violating anyoneās free speech. Bitch was just being rude, and worse, obnoxious about it. You ever act like that in public, be aware youāre not changing anyoneās opinion. Youāre just giving them a brand new opinion about you.ā
It was a very formative conversation in my young adulthood.
Same person also told me to never mix coke and acid. Which was also pretty solid advice.
Something I love about the teen wolf fandom is that I haven't seen a single person who actually sticks to canon. Not even talking about like non canon ships or whatever, like full "that character is still alive actually", "This character never left", "anything after season 3 didn't happen. Also some things before season 3". Like other fandoms are very into the source material, and divergence in fic is treated as a what if scenario. In teen wolf it's the default. The teen wolf fandom looked at the scripts, said "this is trash", and then went and everyone did their own thing en masse. Open a fic and just accept whoever's still alive in it
Or as I've always liked to put it, "No matter how suspicious you might find the neighbor who never opens their blinds, they will never be as suspicious as the neighbor who wants free rein to peek in through peopleās windows."
Lemme clarify, how many times have you heard your overworked female friends and relatives say āYeah, Jerry drinks beer every evening after work while I cook dinner and clean up after everyone and does the bare minimum to help me raise the kids but heās such a nice guy. Heās never beat me in my life. I couldnāt ask for a better guy in my life.ā
Like no, Sally, your husband is a common stone among turds and you know it.
Somewhere in the world, Stiles turns 31. Safe and sound, pestering his long-suffering husband with bad rhymes until he kisses him to shut him up ā”
Quick thing for Stiles' birthday. Where I'm from, the weather on your birthday is said to be the result of whether you behaved or not the past year - I bet Beacon Hills has a freak storm every single april 8th lol
Just another LA Devotee @dancingintheneonglow - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
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