Elnora cannot stand this.. horrible game of cat and mouse. She’s no warden, but her father is- and she knows just how important these griffons are, not only to the wardens.. but to Davrin, one of her closest friends within the veilguard. Of course there’s absolutely no doubt in her mind they’ll find the poor things, free them from the clutches of Isseya.. but it’s still a horrible game, and she’s tired of it. Yet all the same, she waits- leaned up against her staff, the aurum pipes and rods that she stole from Arlathan a steadying source as she counted down the minutes. ‘Lucanis and Davrin should be here soon,’ she carefully reminds herself, fidgeting with little bits of borrowed shards of stained glass, sighing a soft, quiet thing. Her robes were hiked up, pants carefully tucked into tall, tightly sealed boots- she’s hardly scared of some dirt, but this muck.. it’s different, than back when she was working with the veiljumpers. Rotten, foul, a cloying sort of sludge that almost reminds them of blood clots, skin sloughing off.. hardly pleasant imagery, so- forgive her, if by the time the two’s voice breaks through the cooing of mourning doves she was.. antsy. Incredibly so, at the mouth of where Davrin swears they’ll find Isseya.
He wasn’t wrong. She wishes he was, by the time they broke past that first guard- light brown, bordering pink eyes surveying the bastardized landscape, at.. at some sick rendition of Weisshaupt. Davrin’s cursing, Lucanis’s sudden pallor.. none of it helps, nor does the way she readjusts her grip on her staff, trying to coax her own fearful expression into something harder, yet.. hopeful, trying to find a bright side in the warped sight before the three of them. All she could find, however- is that she’s lucky, somehow, that her father died during the Battle of Weisshaupt. Elnora finds some comfort in that knowledge, as well as the hand-carved halla pendant hanging from her throat, the veiljumper carefully fondling and rubbing it as they simply.. watch, attempting to appear as if they’re all scouting out the area. That wasn’t the case, of course- no, it’s an attempt at procrastination that only works for so long, the three eventually having to make their way until they were face to face with the first warden.. who was incomprehensible at first, until suddenly, he.. wasn’t.
Suddenly there’s comprehension, and she wishes she didn’t comprehend, watching as pain and confusion, minor terror twists into something.. hopeless, utterly.. pitying, meeting Elnora’s gaze in a way that made dread twist in her stomach. “Something, something, find Isseya, don’t look around, that- that’s an order, Davrin, don’t let that girl look around- j.. just.. go through that door, don’t look back, no, no, fuck, stop-!” Gruff, twisted words, echoing hauntedly, his manic gaze almost focused with those near-pleas.. every part of her screamed, to just listen. Like a hand was wrapped around her wrist, tugging, trying to drag her away.. but Elnora digs her heels into the dusty tiles, unable to look away. The dripping of liquid, the pulsing and popping of blight boils, the squelching of tendrils.. it all blended together, blurred in the background alongside Davrin and Lucanis’s attempts to talk to her. Oh, one was even brave enough to try and stop her physically.. but it wasn’t enough.
“Leave,” her mind screams. “Free the griffons, don’t look at the cots, don’t go in that direction, stop, stop, Elnora, you’re going to get hurt, Elnora, please-!”
When did she step away? How’d she get here, towering over a low, threadbare cot, gazing upon the rotten, distorted form of.. no. No, no, nonononono-!
Her breathing is quick, shallow, and it only takes a few moments for Davrin to piece it together alongside the First’s panicked shouts, the injured commander still trying to fight the bindings as Davrin drags her back and away, fighting her tooth and nail until they were both on the floor. Elnora was convulsing with her broken sobs, only stopping her violent struggles when Lucanis crouched down beside them both, a steadying hand resting between her shoulder blades. The Antivan looked wild and worried, more than deeply confused- yet still, he cared, even without the knowledge the other three carried. Therian Mahariel, dead but obviously not without suffering, his body as twisted as the rest of the victims of this damnable place. The rot wasn’t terribly old, the body still recognizable enough to where the man’s child recognized him far too fast.. yet enough to where it’ll haunt her forever, just narrowly having swallowed back the bile that had filled her mouth. No, now she hides between plates of metal, pairs of arms wrapped around her until Elnora’s sobs quieted down, once her breath evened out.. she was damn near catatonic, the life sucked out of her as she’s pulled further, deeper into Davrin’s arms, Lucanis hesitantly drawing just as close. She clings tightly to the little halla head, tears still in her eyes, red and puffy before she whispers, swearing she’s alright. “It’s okay,” She swore, rasped and raw. “He’s dead now. It’s over.”
Yet once they finally let her go, and once she finished looking around the cot with trembling hands, finding what few belongings she could find -a filthy, bloody diary, a whittling set, a half finished carving, a necklace so clearly purchased for her- she spots.. a feather. A quiet voice says she should grab it, but her attention hardly lingers before she’s turning her head away, crouched by the side of the cot. She looks back towards the body of her father, and Elnora carefully pries his old, bloody dagger from his fingers, slipping it into her bag with near reverence. It’s then that she kisses the pads of the fingers she used to finally close her father’s eyes. “Dareth shiral, Vhenas. Ar lasa mala revas,” There’s a small, momentary pause before she adds one last thing, all of it a barely audible murmur amidst the quiet. “Ar lath ma, papa,” Tears that had just harely began to dry were already beginning to well back up by the time she’s standing to her full height. She adds one final thing, a quiet prayer, before she she turns- a watery, deeply wounded expression hardening into something far more wicked as her attention falls back to that slightly ajar doorway. If she wasn’t so scared of the fire spreading, of it burning the first alive- she’d try to burn the very room down, to try and free her father’s soul as she so promised.. but the most she can do is make a mental note, to collapse this place behind her and the griffons, her family, to bury him as he’d have wished.
They’re being stalked. They can feel it, sharp, shining eyes- bearing into their narrow silhouette as Nehna follows thin, barely tread trails. Dark, wine red hair falls into their eyes in little wisps as they turn and jump at every sudden sound- mismatched eyes growing more and more wild with every slowly crawling moment. They know- no, think they’re dreaming. They’d have their halla-fur lined cloak on if they weren’t, they’d be armed- they’d be donning their chainmail and thickly padded robes, ready for anything and everything.. but no, as it stands they’re slowly making their way through the densely wooded thicket.
The greenery was barely surpassable, branches damn near knitted together.. and to make matters worse, it’s dark. Eerily so, the kind of dark that isn’t really all that dark- no, just dark enough with an unnatural glow, one that’s magnified by the wet fog hanging in the air. They aren’t even donning their mask, no, only their thin, lightweight sleepwear that’s now clinging to their form with moisture. Nehna’s breathing is unsteady, and has been from the start- not only out of horror at the situation, but at that lingering feeling of.. how do the orlesians say it- deja vu?
They’ve been here before, yet none of it feels familiar. No, it’s all.. strange, like an island they’d have seen while hopping between Eluvians- and oh, that thing, that dastardly thing, it’s.. elusive. To say the least. The most they’ve caught sight of are slivers of shining, glowing eyes- some more reflective than others, with others almost like a lamp, cutting through the dark. No, their unsteady breathing only grows quicker, becomes far more uneven.. until the bard reaches a crescendo, a scream, as a tree begins to crack and fall, the rest soon following.
Wet, barefoot running- the sound, much like the ripping of roots, echoes in the back of the dalish elf’s mind, breathing picking up faster and faster, until- a yelp cuts through the night, quick and cut off, a searing pain in their ankle, and.. they’re falling. Rolling, bouncing- and distantly their mind helpfully supplies that they should’ve broken their neck a few summersaults ago, and for a moment they agree, they’ve died. When their body finally hit flat ground, and the trees stopped falling, and the silence echoed.. well, Nehna’s vision was flickering and their whole body ached.
It felt like hours, but it was most likely minutes- maybe even seconds, before there was this ghastly creature, a wolf of sorts as tall as the thicket they barely escaped. It was curled around them, their front- not tightly, the beast ready to flee at any moment, but for now there laid six, carefully closed eyes, and a body that.. tingled, wet and sticky. Nehna is once again helpfully reminded of lap dogs and mabari alike, even wolves licking at wounds.. how prissy nobles would claim that the pooch was kissing them, healing them.
It was utterly ridiculous at the time, but as Nehna gazes up at a foggy, barely visible moon- they don’t note how it hasn’t changed position, but how their body does not ache, and their lungs can now fully inflate. Fen’harel, The Dreadwolf, Spirit of Wisdom, Solas. The Fade. It comes in little snippets, and as anything to do with him tends to do- it hurts, violently.
…they can wake up at any point now. They can, they- don’t have to stay here, trapped under the paw of a guilt-ridden pup.. yet the weight is nice, so horribly, uniquely Solas, the man they grew so attached to and not the beast that chased them down.
Is this Solas? Or is it a nightmare? Perhaps even a dream, or- some sick amalgamation of both. They’re not sure, but when Nehna finally turns their head, pressing their forehead against a large paw near it, they know they’re waking up. And when they find themself in their bed, plain and unassuming, body free of any pain, any moisture other than sweat- Nehna weeps, a hand pressing where they had just felt the warmth of a paw.
The whole damn inquisition knows not to bother the Inquisitor when they see him saddled up by The Ironbull’s side, drinking various spirits with him and his crew- after all, Mischa is a fickle, gruff man, who holds the weight of the world on his shoulders.. if the old bastard wants a break, who are they to deny him? Tonight was seemingly no different from any other, the casually dressed dwarf sipping on some boozy mix of whisky and hot tea, stirred with some honey.. oh, Ironbull gives him shit for it, but he deserves a damn good drink.. or three, or.. maybe four?
He’s a damn dwarf, he can hold his liquor- yet somehow he feels a little more.. flushed, than usual. A gorgeous, almost autumnal blush colors his tattooed, weathered cheeks, tints the tips of his ears all while they trade tales.. mostly lighthearted ones, but things can only stay so light between an ex-spy and someone who managed to claw themselves away from The Legion of The Dead. Yet somehow, those shared traumas, as alike or not.. It made laughing easier. Made opening up easier, as did the booze, of course- a little bit of coaxing, a drizzle of lube.. yeah, Mischa can’t help it, especially during these little moments where it’s just the two of them.
The rest of the chargers had something to do, and the tavern was rather full, and.. Mischa almost felt normal here, as the focus of The Ironbull’s gaze. Not only did he not feel like the inquisitor, the herald- he didn’t feel the passing, knowing glances, instead far more focused on the easy curl of silvery lips, how Ironbull’s single eye sparkled with such utter amusement, though the dwarf hardly knows what’s so funny. Mischa was far from unobservant, but-
..it’s easy to not notice what you refuse to admit, such as the quiet little under the table bets, the gossip surrounding the two, so many wondering when “Boss’ll ride the bull,” despite Mischa swearing up and down he’s not into men. And yet, men who aren’t into men don’t get their legs tangled up with another, they don’t half lean on men damn near thrice their size, and they especially don’t blush and giggle like a lovesick fool.. nor do they drag them on every trip outside of Skyhold, or spend late nights just talking, or.. well.
They sure as hell don’t lean in so close that they can taste the bitter, strong liquor on the other’s breath.
…ah. That’s why he’s glinting in such a way, utterly amused by the way Mischa managed to drink himself into a deeper, almost.. needier hole, tonight. Well, day drinking on top of night drinking tends to do that to a man, and here Mischa is, thick brows furrowed as he stares at an almost smug smile.
Ironbull’s been waiting for this, for him, and- and-
“Boss?” Ironbull’s voice is a quiet, gravely thing, raspy and curious. The delight within it is.. as clear as a foggy morning, but- Mischa still manages to pick up on it, and maybe that’s what snaps him out of it a little, the older man leaning back with a darkening flush, ruddy and now bordering humiliation, rather than desire.
“I- uh, yeah. Shit. Sorry, didn’t- sleep.. very well last night. Was just.. noddin’ off. Yeah.” He’s quick enough to grumble out some half assed excuse, yet The Ironbull didn’t seem too sold on it. “Uhuh.” The dwarf can hear the disbelief in his voice and quietly grunts. “Uhuh.” The qunari huffs, both disbelieving and amused as he leans back, shuffling his own stool enough to where their legs weren’t so intertwined.. and if Mischa whined, even slightly, no he didn’t, you’re lying.
“Sure, boss. S’pose you always need to gaze longingly to get some rest, then?”
“Wasn’t- gazin’ longin’ly, dammit! Just- Just nodding off.” He snaps, scoffing before he takes a low, long sip of his drink. “Not my damn fault you leave your- pillowy breasts out for all of fuckin’- Thedas to see. Makes me wanna go to bed reeeaaal bad, you’re damn- exhaustin’, y’know that?”
There’s a low, slightly broken up whistle, before Ironbull is trying not to laugh.. he fails, of course, but the mirth looks and sounds damn good on him, and Mischa can’t say he.. hates being a laughingstock at the moment. “Yeah. Bet you do wanna take a nap on them, boss.” He apparently laughed so hard Bull has to wipe away a tear or two, still giggling a bit as he tries to dismiss the dwarf- both for his own sake, and Mischa’s. “Go, get some sleep- since y’need it so damn bad.” Cadash knows it’s an out, an easy way to slip away through the crowd as his flush damn near reaches his toes- but he doesn’t leave, seemingly glued to the spot as his heart hammers and.. fuck, he’s too damn old for this.
All of this! He’s got a wife and kids back home, a rot clawing at his throat, and the fucking- world as they know it on his shoulders..! Yet he’s sitting here, clutching a still-warm hot toddy between his large, calloused hands and feeling so.. young, in a way.
“Fine,” Ironbull mutters, huffing out some breathy laughter. “I’ll make the first move, then, leave before you do. ‘M sure Krem needs me for.. something. See you later, boss.” The tal-vashoth is like.. an angel, almost, in that moment- Mischa’s savior, until the large, lumbering man is leaning down, and.. brushing a kiss against his temple, giving him a half hug and a grunted out laugh. “Get some rest, you promised me and the charger’s you’d do some drills with us.” He leaves after that, leaving Mischa drunk and flustered and- aching, with thoughts both slowed to a stop and utterly racing.
The snow falls heavy, muting the world around them. A large, yet somehow minuscule qunari stays laid up within Solas’s tent.. and Herah isn’t quite sure why he’s here. There’s medics that can tend to him, and really, he’s.. felt worse, probably, he.. thinks.
And yet Solas wanted to keep him close. “It’s purely for observation,” The elf had said, so.. matter of factly, and Herah can’t say he doesn’t understand. He survived the unsurvivable, a mountain and all the snow upon it crashing upon him.. yet as Solas manages to slumber, Herah cannot, swirling, shifting green eyes half shut as he watches the small rise and fall of his fellow apostate’s chest. Up, down, up, down, a steady, near hypnotic rhythm..
Dawn will break, soon, as the qunari hasn’t slept. He’s sure Solas will chide him for such a thing, but it does not matter- he’s got too much to worry about, too much to.. appreciate.
His inner circle made it out alive. Yes, it’s tragic that so many lost their lives- but to see his friend softly flushed by the weather, clutching a fur to his thin frame.. he’s alive, and that- is magnificent! He’s had similar thoughts for the others, obviously- silently celebrating the little things, not that he’d admit such a thing.. but it’s hard to not stare, as the snow almost seemed to ground the elf’s occasional sigh, rare snore..
That- That is his fellow dreamer, lying there, who knows him like no one else ever will.. but, alas, Solas has already rejected his advances, and he.. knows he cannot make the elf admire him just as well. Yet that doesn’t make that small ball of admiration weigh any less heavy in his heart. Ultimately, all he can do when Solas finally begins to stir is press his face into his pillow and try not to yearn as obviously as he fears, imagining how nice it might feel to kiss his lips, taste what he’s sure must be as sweet as spearmint.
I'm Elder Scrolls, fc5 & Dragon Age based (knowledge of more lore and also just passionate about the games), but I can draw all fantasy races except for the classic furry art style when it comes to cat people or werewolves.
All prices and budgets are negotiable as I'm in a time of urgency!
For examples of my art I have a lot posted on my account, and if you want to get ahold of me you can reach me on discord @mgc.j
Decent - marked by moral integrity, kindness, and goodwill
Decisive - resolute, determined
Dedicated - devoted to a cause, ideal, or purpose; zealous
Deep - of penetrating intellect; wise
Dignified - showing or expressing dignity (i.e., the quality or state of being worthy, honored, or esteemed)
Directed - having a positive or negative sense
Disciplined - marked by or possessing discipline (i.e., orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior)
Discreet - prudent; modest; unobtrusive
Dramatic - having or showing a tendency to behave or react in an exaggerated way
Dutiful - filled with or motivated by a sense of duty
Dynamic - energetic, forceful
Earnest - characterized by or proceeding from an intense and serious state of mind
Ebullient - having or showing liveliness and enthusiasm
Educated - having an education; skilled
Efficient - productive of desired effects
Elegant - of a high grade or quality; splendid
Eloquent - marked by forceful and fluent expression
Empathetic - involving, characterized by, or based on empathy (i.e., the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another)
Energetic - operating with or marked by vigor or effect
Enthusiastic - filled with or marked by enthusiasm (i.e., strong excitement of feeling)
Esthetic - artistic; appreciative of, responsive to, or zealous about the beautiful
Exciting - producing excitement (i.e., something that rouses)
Extraordinary - exceptional to a very marked extent
Fair - marked by impartiality and honesty
Faithful - steadfast in affection or allegiance; loyal
Farsighted - having or showing foresight or good judgment; sagacious
Felicific - causing or intended to cause happiness
Firm - not weak or uncertain; vigorous
Flexible - characterized by a ready capability to adapt to new, different, or changing requirements; tractable
Focused - a state or condition permitting clear perception or understanding
Forceful - possessing or filled with force; effective
Forgiving - allowing room for error or weakness
Forthright - free from ambiguity or evasiveness
Freethinking - thinking freely or independently
Friendly - showing kindly interest and goodwill
Fun-loving - lighthearted and lively
Gallant - nobly chivalrous and often self-sacrificing; spirited
Generous - liberal in giving; magnanimous
Gentle - free from harshness, sternness, or violence; docile
Genuine - free from hypocrisy or pretense; sincere
Good-natured - of a pleasant and cooperative disposition
Gracious - marked by kindness and courtesy
Hardworking - constantly, regularly, or habitually engaged in earnest and energetic work; industrious, diligent
Healthy - prosperous, flourishing
Hearty - enthusiastically or exuberantly cordial; jovial
Helpful - of service or assistance; useful
Heroic - exhibiting or marked by courage and daring
High-minded - marked by elevated principles and feelings; also: pretentious
Honest - genuine, real; marked by integrity
Honorable - deserving of respect or high regard; illustrious
Humble - not proud or haughty; unpretentious
Humorous - full of or characterized by humor; funny
Idealistic - of or relating to idealists or idealism (i.e., having a standard of perfection, beauty, or excellence)
Imaginative - given to imagining; having a lively imagination
Impressive - making or tending to make a marked impression; having the power to excite attention, awe, or admiration
Incisive - impressively direct and decisive
Incorruptible - incapable of being bribed or morally corrupted
Independent - not requiring or relying on others
Individualistic - pursuing a markedly independent course in thought or action
Innovative - characterized by, tending to, or introducing innovations (i.e., a new idea, method, or device)
Inoffensive - giving no provocation; peaceable
Insightful - exhibiting or characterized by insight (i.e., the power or act of seeing into a situation)
Insouciant - lighthearted unconcern; nonchalance
Intelligent - guided or directed by intellect; rational
Intuitive - possessing or given to intuition or insight
Invulnerable - immune to or proof against attack
Kind - of a sympathetic or helpful nature
Knowledgeable - having or showing knowledge or intelligence-
Leisurely - characterized by leisure; unhurried
Liberal - marked by generosity; openhanded; broad-minded
Logical - skilled in logic; analytic; capable of reasoning
Lovable - having qualities that attract affection
Loyal - unswerving in allegiance
Lyrical - having an artistically beautiful or expressive quality suggestive of song
Magnanimous - showing or suggesting a lofty and courageous spirit
Many-sided - having many sides or aspects; interests or aptitudes
Mature - based on slow careful consideration
Methodical - habitually proceeding according to method
Meticulous - marked by extreme or excessive care in the consideration or treatment of details
Moderate - avoiding extremes of behavior or expression; calm, temperate
Modest - decent; unpretentious
Multi-leveled - having a scale (as of difficulty or achievement) with multiple positions or ranks
Natural leader - a person who has qualities that a good leader has
Neat - habitually clean and orderly
Nonauthoritarian - not authoritarian (i.e., of, relating to, or favoring a concentration of power in a leader or an elite not constitutionally responsible to the people)
Objective - expressing or dealing with facts or conditions as perceived without distortion by personal feelings, prejudices, or interpretations
Effeminate - having feminine qualities untypical of a man
Emotional - markedly aroused or agitated in feeling or sensibilities
Enigmatic - of, relating to, or resembling an enigma; mysterious
Experimental - of, relating to, or based on experience or experiment; tentative
Familial - of or relating to a household or family; homey; domestic
Folksy - homespun; having or showing an unpretentious informality
Formal - following or agreeing with established form, custom, or rules
Freewheeling - free and loose in form or manner
Frugal - economical; careful in the management of money or resources
Glamorous - full of glamour; excitingly attractive
Guileless - innocent, naive
High-spirited - characterized by a bold or energetic spirit
Hurried - going or working at speed; hasty
Hypnotic - readily holding the attention
Iconoclastic - tendency to not conform to generally accepted standards or customs
Idiosyncratic - peculiar; eccentric
Impassive - unsusceptible to or destitute of emotion; apathetic
Impersonal - withdrawn; having or showing no emotional warmth or interest in others
Impressionable - inexperienced; easy to influence
Intense - extreme in degree, power, or effect; passionate
Invisible - discreet; not readily seen or noticed
Irreligious - lacking religious emotions, principles, or practices
Irreverent - lacking proper respect or seriousness
Maternal - of, relating to, belonging to, or characteristic of a mother; motherly
Mellow - pleasant, agreeable; laid back
Modern - being or involving the latest methods, concepts, information, or styles
Moralistic - characterized by or expressive of a narrow moral attitude
Mystical - impossible to prove, understand, or explain by either the senses or intelligence
Neutral - not decided or pronounced as to characteristics; indifferent
Noncommittal - having no clear or distinctive character
Noncompetitive - not inclined towards or characterized by competition or rivalry
Obedient - submissive to the restraint or command of authority; willing to obey
Old-fashioned - adhering to customs of a past era; outmoded
Ordinary - being of the type that is encountered in the normal course of events; normal
Outspoken - direct and open in speech or expression; frank
Placid - serenely free of interruption or disturbance
Political - involving or charged or concerned with acts against a government or a political system
Predictable - behaving in a way that is expected
Preoccupied - lost in thought and unaware of one's surroundings or actions; distracted
Private - preferring to keep personal affairs to oneself
Progressive - liberal; not bound by traditional ways or beliefs
Proud - feeling or showing pride
Pure - having exactly the talents or skills needed for a particular role; immaculate; innocent
Questioning - skeptical; inclined to doubt or question claims
Quiet - calm; gentle; easygoing
Religious - scrupulously and conscientiously faithful; zealous
Reserved - restrained in words and actions
Restrained - not excessive or extravagant
Retiring - reserved, shy
Sarcastic - given to the use of sarcasm; caustic
Self-conscious - conscious of one's own acts or states as belonging to or originating in oneself
Sensual - devoted to or preoccupied with the senses or appetites
Skeptical - relating to, characteristic of, or marked by skepticism (i.e., an attitude of doubt or a disposition to incredulity either in general or toward a particular object)
Smooth - amiable, courteous
Soft - lacking firmness or strength of character; feeble
Solemn - marked by grave sedateness and earnest sobriety
Solitary - not gregarious, colonial, social, or compound
Stern - having a definite hardness or severity of nature or manner; austere
Stolid - having or expressing little or no sensibility; unemotional
Subjective - arising out of or identified by means of one's perception of one's own states and processes
Surprising - of a nature that excites surprise (i.e., a taking unawares)
Tough - capable of enduring strain, hardship, or severe labor
Unaggressive - not aggressive; not given to fighting or assertiveness
Unambitious - feeling or showing a lack of ambition (i.e., desire to achieve a particular end)
Unceremonious - not ceremonious; informal
Unchanging - constant, invariable
Undemanding - not requiring much time, effort, or attention
Unfathomable - incomprehensible; impossible to understand
Unhurried - not hurried; leisurely
Uninhibited - free from inhibition; boisterously informal
Unpatriotic - not feeling or showing love for or devotion to one's country
Unpredictable - tending to behave in ways that cannot be predicted
Unreligious - having no connection with or relation to religion; involving no religious import or idea
Unsentimental - not marked or governed by feeling, sensibility, or emotional idealism
Whimsical - characterized by whim or caprice; especially: lightly fanciful
Negative Traits
Abrasive - causing irritation
Abrupt - rudely or unceremoniously curt
Agonizing - causing agony (i.e., intense pain of mind or body)
Aimless - without aim or purpose
Airy - affected, proud
Aloof - removed or distant either physically or emotionally
Amoral - having or showing no concern about whether behavior is morally right or wrong
Angry - feeling or showing anger (i.e., a strong feeling of displeasure and usually of antagonism)
Anxious - characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency; worried
Apathetic - having or showing little or no interest, concern, or emotion
Arbitrary - marked by or resulting from the unrestrained and often tyrannical exercise of power
Argumentative - given to argument; disputatious
Arrogant - exaggerating or disposed to exaggerate one's own worth or importance often by an overbearing manner
Artificial - imitation, sham
Asocial - not social; rejecting or lacking the capacity for social interaction
Assertive - disposed to or characterized by bold or confident statements and behavior; aggressive
Astigmatic - showing incapacity for observation or discrimination
Bewildered - deeply or utterly confused or perplexed
Bizarre - strikingly out of the ordinary
Bland - dull, insipid
Blunt - insensitive
Boisterous - noisily turbulent; tumultuous
Brittle - lacking warmth, depth, or generosity of spirit; cold
Brutal - cruel, cold-blooded; harsh
Calculating - marked by prudent analysis or by shrewd consideration of self-interest; scheming
Callous - feeling or showing no sympathy for others; hard-hearted
Cantankerous - difficult or irritating to deal with
Careless - negligent, slovenly
Charmless - unpleasant and without charm or interest
Childish - marked by or suggestive of immaturity and lack of poise
Clumsy - lacking tact or subtlety
Coarse - crude or unrefined in taste, manners, or language
Colorless - dull, uninteresting
Complacent - marked by self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies
Complaintive - prone to complain
Compulsive - of, relating to, caused by, or suggestive of psychological compulsion
Conceited - having or showing an excessively high opinion of oneself
Condemnatory - expressing strong criticism or disapproval
Conformist - following or seeking to enforce prevailing standards or customs; opposing or avoiding unconventional thinking and behavior
Confused - being perplexed or disconcerted
Contemptible - worthy of contempt (i.e., the act of despising)
Conventional - lacking originality or individuality; trite
Cowardly - being, resembling, or befitting a coward (i.e., one who shows disgraceful fear or timidity)
Crafty - adept in the use of subtlety and cunning
Crass - having or indicating such grossness of mind as precludes delicacy and discrimination
Criminal - guilty of crime; disgraceful
Critical - inclined to criticize severely and unfavorably
Crude - marked by the primitive, gross, or elemental or by uncultivated simplicity or vulgarity
Cruel - disposed to inflict pain or suffering; devoid of humane feelings
Cynical - having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic (e.g., contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives)
Decadent - characterized by or appealing to self-indulgence
Deceitful - deceptive, misleading
Delicate - weak, sickly; fragile
Demanding - requiring much time, effort, or attention; exacting
Dependent - relying on another for support
Desperate - having lost hope; suffering extreme need or anxiety
Destructive - designed or tending to hurt or destroy
Devious - not straightforward; deceptive
Difficult - hard to deal with, manage, or overcome
Dirty - morally unclean or corrupt
Disconcerting - causing embarrassment
Discontented - dissatisfied, malcontent
Discouraging - causing someone to feel less confident or less hopeful
Discourteous - lacking courtesy; rude
Dishonest - characterized by lack of truth, honesty, or trustworthiness; unfair, deceptive
Disloyal - showing an absence of allegiance, devotion, obligation, faith, or support
Disobedient - refusing or neglecting to obey
Disorderly - engaged in conduct offensive to public order
Disorganized - lacking coherence, system, or central guiding agency
Disputatious - inclined to dispute; controversial
Disrespectful - showing a lack of manners or consideration for others
Disruptive - disrupting or tending to disrupt some process, activity, condition, etc.
Dissolute - lacking restraint
Dissonant - marked by dissonance; discordant; incongruous
Distractible - when attention of the mind is easily distracted by small and irrelevant stimuli
Disturbing - causing feelings of worry, concern, or anxiety
Dogmatic - characterized by or given to the expression of opinions very strongly or positively as if they were facts
Domineering - inclined to exercise arbitrary and overbearing control over others
Dull - tedious, uninteresting
Egocentric - self-centered, selfish
Enervated - lacking physical, mental, or moral vigor
Envious - feeling or showing envy (i.e., painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage)
Erratic - characterized by lack of consistency, regularity, or uniformity
Escapist - relating to avoiding an unpleasant or boring life by thinking, reading, etc., about something more exciting or fun, especially something that could not really happen
Excitable - capable of being readily roused into action or a state of excitement or irritability
Expedient - governed by self-interest
Extravagant - lacking in moderation, balance, and restraint
Faithless - not to be relied on; untrustworthy; disloyal
False - not genuine; intentionally untrue
Fanatical - marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense uncritical devotion
Fanciful - marked by fancy or unrestrained imagination rather than by reason and experience
Fatalistic - having or showing a belief that the future is determined and cannot be changed
Fawning - seeking or used to seek approval or favor by means of flattery
Fearful - causing or likely to cause fear, fright, or alarm especially because of dangerous quality
Fickle - marked by lack of steadfastness, constancy, or stability; given to erratic changeableness
Fiery - easily provoked; irritable
Fixed - firmly set in the mind
Flamboyant - excessively showy
Foolish - showing or marked by a lack of good sense or judgment
Forgetful - inclined to forget what one has learned or to do what one should
Fraudulent - characterized by, based on, or done by fraud; deceitful
Frightening - causing fear
Frivolous - marked by unbecoming levity
Gloomy - lacking in promise or hopefulness; pessimistic
Graceless - lacking a sense of propriety; immoral
Grand - lavish, sumptuous
Greedy - marked by greed; having or showing a selfish desire for wealth and possessions
Grim - ghastly, repellent, or sinister in character
Gullible - easily duped or cheated
Hateful - full of hate; malicious
Haughty - blatantly and disdainfully proud
Hedonistic - devoted to the pursuit of pleasure
Hesitant - slow to act or proceed (as from fear, indecision, or unwillingness)
Hidebound - having an inflexible or ultraconservative character
High-handed - having or showing no regard for the rights, concerns, or feelings of others; arbitrary, overbearing
Hostile - marked by malevolence; having or showing unfriendly feelings
Miserable - causing extreme discomfort or unhappiness; being likely to discredit or shame
Miserly - marked by grasping meanness and penuriousness
Misguided - led or prompted by wrong or inappropriate motives or ideals
Mistaken - wrong in what you believe, or based on a belief that is wrong
Monstrous - having the qualities of a monster (i.e., a threatening force; of unnatural or extreme wickedness or cruelty)
Moody - subject to moods; temperamental
Morbid - abnormally susceptible to or characterized by gloomy or unwholesome feelings
Muddleheaded - mentally confused; bungling
Naive - deficient in worldly wisdom or informed judgment; credulous
Narcissistic - of, relating to, or characterized by narcissism (i.e., egoism, egocentrism); e.g., extremely self-centered with an exaggerated sense of self-importance
Narrow - illiberal in views or disposition; prejudiced
Narrow-minded - not willing to accept opinions, beliefs, behaviors, etc. that are unusual or different from one's own; not open-minded
Negativistic - having an attitude of mind marked by skepticism especially about nearly everything affirmed by others
Neglectful - given to neglecting; careless, heedless
Neurotic - behaving strangely or in an anxious way, often because one has a mental illness
Nihilistic - holding a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless
Obnoxious - odiously or disgustingly objectionable; highly offensive
Obsessive - excessive often to an unreasonable degree
Obvious - very noticeable especially for being incorrect or bad
Odd - differing markedly from the usual, ordinary, or accepted
Offhand - done or made offhand (i.e., without premeditation or preparation; extempore)
One-dimensional - lacking depth or complexity; superficial
One-sided - limited to one side; partial
Opinionated - firmly or unduly adhering to one's own opinion or to preconceived notions
Opportunistic - taking advantage of opportunities as they arise (e.g., exploiting opportunities with little regard to principle or consequences)
Oppressed - burdened by abuse of power or authority
Outrageous - violent, unrestrained; going beyond all standards of what is right or decent; deficient in propriety
Overimaginative - excessively imaginative (e.g., devoid of truth)
Paranoid - characterized by suspiciousness, persecutory trends, or megalomania; extremely fearful
Passive - lacking in energy or will; lethargic
Pedantic - narrowly, stodgily, and often ostentatiously learned
Perverse - turned away from what is right or good; corrupt
Petty - marked by or reflective of narrow interests and sympathies; small-minded
Pharisaical - marked by hypocritical censorious self-righteousness
Phlegmatic - having or showing a slow and stolid temperament
Plodding - proceed slowly or tediously
Pompous - having or exhibiting self-importance; arrogant
Possessive - manifesting possession or the desire to own or dominate
Predatory - inclined or intended to injure or exploit others for personal gain or profit
Prejudiced - resulting from or having a prejudice or bias for or especially against
Presumptuous - overstepping due bounds (as of propriety or courtesy)
Pretentious - characterized by pretension (e.g., making usually unjustified or excessive claims)
Prim - stiffly formal and proper; decorous; prudish
Procrastinating - habitually and/or intentionally putting off the doing of something that should be done
At first, Geralt just thinks that he's just getting them stuck in his head.
But they keep getting harder and harder to dismiss. The songs. Jaskier's voice haunting him, being guided to his ears by the breeze while he's in the midst of a fight, just so happening to relay to him information or reminders or motivation.
"A cliff hangs over the water, tides are angry below~"
Jaskier's voice lilts in Geralt's head in the midst of fighting a beast. There WAS a cliff nearby- Geralt ends up leading the creature right off the edge into the water, saving his life, and all because he got a lyric of Jaskier's stuck in his head. He can't recall which one of Jaskier's MANY songs it's from, but he's sure it's from one of them...
"Swallow, the swallow, the swallow~
There sings the swallow, the swallow, the swallow~
Dear gods, the swallow, the swallow, the swallow!~"
Jaskier's voice sang in Geralt's mind one other fight, when Geralt was stubbornly refusing to take potions. The griffin had retreated but Geralt knew it'd be back. He wanted to be on his guard. He could take a potion after. For now he had to scan the treeline.
"The swallow, the swallow, THE SWALLOW!~"
Fine, Jaskier! He'll drink the damn Swallow.
He doesn't remember which song this line is from either... But Jaskier has travelled with him for twenty years. Some songs don't make it past a single line. Some get completely rewritten. Some are completely improvised around a campfire when tipsy. Just because Geralt can't remember them, doesn't mean they weren't songs of Jaskier's. Perhaps he didn't perform them on stage like some of his greater hits, but maybe Geralt heard him test it out and write it in his notebook before ultimately scratching through the words and tossing the idea out.
"Don't dare, I swear, don't give me such a scare~
I'll mend you, I'll tend you, make sure it does not end you~
I'll kiss your hand and wash your hair, but only if you make it there~
Geralt, get up, come find my care, instead of bleeding everywhere~
Condemned you, pretend you, are dying where they sent you~
I'll defend you, Intend to, once I find where they have lent you~"
Geralt is stuck lying on his side in the middle of a valley, bleeding profusely, and he KNOWS he's never heard that song from Jaskier. He wouldn't get it stuck in his head. He wouldn't. He's hearing it for the first time.
At first he thinks he's hallucinating Jaskier's voice. Perhaps he's dying, and the world is trying to give him one last peace by letting him hear his bard one last time... But the bard's song is not a farewell. It's the antithesis of one.
Somehow his bard is sending him a message.
hello! im midas, a recently turned 20 year old looking for dragon age roleplay :3!
recently i finished my second playthrough dragon age the veilguard and was reminded of just how much i missed dragon age two, and the absolute mess relationships were back then- and by extension, one of my favorite hawkes ive made, lucius.
lucius hawke is a somewhat canon divergent bloodmage, who spent most of the game unknowingly heavily effected by red lyrium, and getting into a remarkably toxic rivalmance with fenris- and while i’d absolutely be down to mess around with that failed relationship, i really want hawke/varric,,
varric ultimately growing attached to the strong-willed, hard-headed apostate he’s relying on to help fund his and bartrand’s expedition, fully knowing it’s a bad idea but unable to stop it. the loudly pro-mage, brash fereldan refugee with soft, green-red eyes, who hardly pussyfoots around what he wants, and how south that can go. letting him crash in varric’s room in the hanged man after he gets kicked out, only for a night to become a week, to become a month to become until they finally leave on that damned expedition that leads to the two of them being damn-near inseparable- and all the problems that come with it.
of course we can further discuss plot points and scheme together!! nothing is 100% set in stone, and i adore plotting/ooc chatter with any possible roleplay partners! im down to do double ups, though i may be picky with who i play, (some im willing to play off the top of my head from the da universe being dorian, taash, harding, alistair, zevran, and anders) if only because i don’t want to give you a poor interpretation of a character back- i’m also willing to do rps within other fandoms in return! bg3, the witcher, and skyrim comes to mind but there’s a few more niche/lamer (though i may be a little rusty) ones such as sanders sides, homestuck.. anything for this damn itch to be scratched lol
i will say!! i would like smut to be included, but it’s hardly necessary, and i do prefer m/m or f/f, and as for hard limits no 🍪 or incest. im also not very fond of daddy/mommy kinks lmao, but we can further discuss that later :3!! i also adore trans/nonbinary characters so! feel free to offer those up too! dm me on here if interested!
heyyyy geraskier nation how do we feel about. about them and “letter to an old poet” by boygenius because personally? personally? crash out every time actually
ive been mostly dragon age brainrotting/posting lately but ohhhh show geralt and jaskier you’re my favorite doomed yaoi
“I said I think that you're special
You told me once that I'm selfish.
And I kissed you hard in the dark
In the closet.”
Ohhh the things I think in my thinky brain. Like, obviously, first thing that comes to mind is the mountaintop squabble, yknow? A grieving, hurting bard, quietly asking Geralt if he wants to leave all of this behind, go to the coast for awhile, and then- ultimately getting so heavily shrugged off, despite years of being so horribly devoted to Geralt, just so the witcher can go fuck his wife and then have things go horribly wrong afterward. He says it, he shows it, Geralt is so special and Jaskier is- shoveling shit.
It’s such an easy connection to make, but also, Jaskier dragging Geralt to the ceremony in the first place- while he claims it’s for protection, and it mostly was, I’m sure, but also.. What if it was also just.. an attempt to let Geralt come into his world? Jaskier trying to let his favorite witcher stay in a warm bed with warm food and let him get off the road and instead protect his small fry from a court, yknow?
I also personally think that around this time might’ve also been when they first started messing around, if you believe they messed around at all before the heartbreak that is the mountain. Kissing him hard, in the dark, in the closet,, the bard lying with a witcher he knows doesn’t adore him the same way he adores him, but still doing it. Hard, and in the dark, and.. probably in a bedroll.
“You said my music is mellow
Maybe I'm just exhausted.
You think you're a good person
Because you won't punch me in the stomach.
And I love you
I don't know why
I just do.”
Obviously telling someone that their singing is like ordering a fillingless pie isn’t the same as telling them their music is mellow, but my point still stands. Geralt thinks he’s a good person- because there’s no lesser or greater evil, Geralt’s a good person, he’s great, evil is evil and he’s not subscribing to that bullshit, thanks. (I know it’s more Nuanced than that, especially in the books, but sadly we’re dealing with the absolute.. thing Geralt is in the show, adored or not)
Geralt did in fact punch Jaskier in the stomach. This is Jaskier consuming massive amounts of copium (/j) and definitely not also a throwback to the Renfri debacle and how he got the title “Butcher of Blaviken” which Jaskier oh so kindly called him before getting punched in the gut. I do also think that in this context that just meaning “because you won’t physically mistreat/neglect me” could be.. really interesting, especially under the lens of this being a slightly newer affair.
At the start of their friendship Geralt most likely did neglect/hurt Jaskier, but less in an evil “he likes kicking sad wet bards” way and in a “he wants this weird fucking bard who doesn’t really seem to respect his space and desires to fuck off, and also doesn’t really know how to deal with companionship/non-witchers” way. Think.. giving Jaskier the wrong herbs for certain aches, not noticing his boots giving out after not letting him ride their horse, shit like that.
Things he learned and then remedied, perhaps in excess, but things that definitely stick around- and Jaskier loves him, anyways, even if this all hurts. Even if this entire song is this aching, sensitive thing.
“But you're not special, you're evil
You don't get to tell me to calm down
You make me feel like an equal
But I'm better than you
And you should know that by now.”
This song? It feels like a more genuine, heart wrenching Burn, Butcher, Burn. Something not born out of righteous anger, but something much worse. Geralt isn’t special, he’s evil. He’s not choosing the lesser or the greater evil, he’s- just as bad, for simply refusing that moral decision and then.. taking it out on everyone else, on some level.
Also just Jaskier trying to lash out in the same way he did in the canon break up song, yknow? Just trying to hurt, get a reaction, because at this point anything is better than several years of this bullshit- so, Geralt isn’t special. He’s evil. If the fucker ever returns, he better not try and get him to simmer his damn emotions because they’re fair and righteous and- ohhh, I have so many feelings about this.
Especially with the idea of like.. Jaskier having never really shared this song, or if he did, it never really got as popular. It’s a tad too relatable, a tad too quiet, a soft little thing that hurts too much. Burn, Butcher, Burn has something in it that’ll help it spread like fucking wildfire, whereas this- well. Imagine how Jaskier feels when he’s hugged, when he’s taken from the cell after experiencing hell itself for the witcher he- calling back to previous lyrics- he still loves, and he doesn’t know why.
He’s better than him. He is, and he knows this now, standing in that damn cell, helping Geralt despite it all, he’s fucking better than anyone ever, actually, fuck you. But there was a time where he felt equal to someone he looked up to, someone he knew he could trust- he was a run-away Viscount’s son, a barely-legal bard in a poor bar when he met Geralt. There’s no fucking way that man ever felt equal to anyone ever, and yet- Geralt managed, with their time together, and now.. well, Jaskier’s always seen with some damn liquor, torture hardly acknowledged, trying to help get elves to safety and now a princess he blames himself for, trying to fucking- help the woman that had a hand in that damned night. He’s a better man than even he knew, and Geralt should know that by now- and I think Geralt does.
Geralt’s known since he went down that damn mountain all by himself, but now? While he gets to hold Jaskier in that cell, he knows Jaskier is better than he is. And maybe that’s one of the reasons why he’s so distant despite everything, that lack of closeness during those episodes were him trying to give Jaskier space. He just went through hell for him and Ciri, the two having not seen each other in years because Geralt had his head too far up his ass and Vesemir never taught him how to deal with feelings like that, dammit, or any at all. He wants to make things better, make it up to him, but.. oh, he just went through so damn much, and Geralt likes distance, so he gave the bard distance- not cold, uncaring distance, but distance all the same. The kind that comes with trusting him with his child, in the keep, with everything, with his need for help. He puts himself back in Jaskier’s hands, even if the bard doesn’t realize it fully.
“When you fell down the stairs
It looked like it hurt and I wasn't sorry.
I shoulda left you right there
With your hostages, my heart and my car keys.
You don't know me.”
An ever changing song, something private and close- little additions, as Jaskier grows and hurts and aches something awful. Still bitter, still hurting, feelings left unresolved- but still helping, anyways. He’s not sorry. Or, really, He- is, but not really for Geralt, but for everyone, as a whole. The dead witchers, those who are alive, the princess, hell- even Yennefer, all those damn hostages, victims of a destiny Geralt had claimed all on his own, it wasn’t fucking- Jaskier who made him claim the Law of Suprise, dammit. He’s tired of taking on that burden, and yet he always has. Not anymore, yet still, he helps.
Of course he does. He still tries to help, with a hurt hand and a stronger dependence on alcohol, suddenly and horribly uprooted and rehomed, most likely unwelcome back in Oxenfurt since he was Jail-broke. He’s not this sniveling, high brow cunt like everyone seemed to think- he’s still a bit of a damn coward, and he’s clumsy and completely out of it, but he’s not an idiot. He’s a spy of sorts, a smuggler of elves, he went to university for fucks sake- no one in that damn keep knows him, not even Geralt, and yet, he helps anyways.
“I wanna be happy
I'm ready
To walk into my room without looking for you.
I'll go up to the top of our building
And remember my dog when I see the full moon.”
I haven’t. Watched S3 yet, sadly, but I do kind of like to think about Radovid and like.. what little I know about the season here. He seems a lot more comfortable with himself, his queer identity, I’m fairly sure Geralt owns up to more of what happened, the whole gay arc with him and Radovid- Jaskier wants to be happy, and he’s ready to move on, but,,
I don’t think he can. Not permanently. He can sleep with Kings or whatever as much as he’d like, but at the end of the day, Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri are all right there. He’ll never not look around and find them, and it’s not- a bad thing, it’s just.. incredibly sobering to think about, I’m sure.
It’s a little demeaning I know, lol, but I also like to think about if the two do end up lasting a little longer or like Jaskier ends up with anyone who isn’t Geralt, that while maybe he doesn’t actually visit the mountain again,, he goes to top of it anyways. He thinks about his dog, or really, his wolf. His witcher. And he always will, even with the most mundane things- such as full moons.
The real tragedy of the Dellamortes is how inevitable Illario's betrayal was.
Caterina's refusal to really see either of her grandsons for who they are sets all three of them on this path. Lucanis's mother was Caterina's favourite, she was probably the person Caterina had in mind to succeed her. That loss, the loss of so much of Caterina's legacy had to have been devastating. She'd built so much and it was all torn away in a single conflict. All she has left in the wake of it is two young boys and this tenacity that will not allow her to give up on what she's built.
So she puts it all on Lucanis. The son of her favourite (bonus angst if he looks like his mother). She's unable to see this sweet boy who loves wyverns and just had his life ripped apart for who he is. She just see's her legacy. The daughter she lost. She puts it all into him, he's pushed into the role of favourite.
Lucanis responds to this by shoving down the parts of himself she doesn't want to see- his gentle heart, his love of wyverns, the little boy who needs to be loved. If he's good enough, strong enough, the perfect crow, the perfect granson- then and only then will she love him, will he be safe.
And then you have Illario! There isn't as much to go on in the text about his family or what he was like as a boy but there's a few things we can pretty confidently infer. Like Lucanis, Illario violently loses everything he has at a very young age. All he has left are the other two Dellamorte's.
But he isn't the child of Caterina's favourite. She isn't automatically putting all of her legacy on his shoulders the way she does Lucanis. He still gets the training, and what we do see in the wigmaker job and the wake and even in the codex entires in the game is that Illario does become a comptent and capable crow. He has a level of skill that I suspect is broadly expected of house Dellamorte, he was trained by the first talon herself. But the Illario we meet as an adult has this laissez-faire affect and presents himself as a seducer and a bit of a peakcock. He also very overtly refers to himself as Dellamorte-the-lesser and at the end of the wigmaker job when they're discussing the title of first talon you can feel the resentment below the surface.
For Illario it's not about the power and the prestige that comes from the title of first talon. It's not even about having the title itself. It's about FINALLY earning Caterina's love and respect. Things he undoubtly never felt as a boy.
How could he? When he's a child the only two people he has left in the world have this special bond that he never gets to be a part of. His only caretaker has a clear favourite and she shows it. He's lived his whole life in Lucanis's shadow, and a shadow that Lucanis never wanted to cast! Which if anything just adds insult to injury for Illario.
Lucanis has everything Illario wants and he doesn't even want it.
I imagine as a boy Illario tries SO HARD to win her love, her favour, he'll do anything to feel like he's loved and wanted and valued. And when after YEARS it doesn't work even though Lucanis clearly doesn't want the role he's been forced into? Illario gets resentful, he gets angry, he starts acting up. He becomes the suave peacock, the grandson who fucks up sometimes- probably not because he's bad at being a crow but because at least Caterina's ire is attention. It's a scrap of love.
Illario and Lucanis love each other. They're brothers. Illario resents Lucanis for being loved and favoured. Lucanis wants nothing more than to give it all to Illario. Illario doesn't want that he wants Caterina to love him on his own merit. At the same time (pre-inner demons) Lucanis will never actually give the title up because it means he's loved, he's valued, he matters.
The title of first talon has been synonymous with emotional safety and love for these two for their entire lives, and it's twisted them up so badly.
The real irony of it all is that this whole time Illario is so much more like the person Caterina wants Lucanis to be. Her heir, the Dellamorte best suited to be the next first talon has been right there infront of her all along, but she's so caught up in grief and legacy she misses it. She never really see's either of her grandsons for who they are.
I actually suspect that when it all comes to light, even though she's furious with him, Caterina finally starts to see what she's been overlooking in Illario all along. And Lucanis who's started to heal... well I think she's starting to see him too, and the truth of who he is is something she'll struggle to face.
When the day finally comes that Lucanis tells her he doesn't want the job, when him and Illario both accept that their lives have meaning outside of Caterina's opinion of them, is the day that the Dellamorte's can maybe start to really see each other.
