. 𐔌ྀ. ٜ .݂♡ഒ syn. rin has loved you his enter life—though, he was to cowardly to admit it. but, if confessing his ever dying love gives him the chance to keep you away from isagi, best believe he’ll do it.
ᨳ᭬ ຶ 2.1k wc. ♪ content + warnings : fem! reader x itoshi rin, angst if you squint, somewhat halfassedly proofread, basically from rins pov
itoshi rin remembers the day he met you like it was yesterday.
he didn't have many friends in elementary school—actually, he didn't have any friends at all.
other than his brother—who was already in middle school at that point—he didn't have anyone he'd consider his 'friend'.
he remembers kicking his football around alone, chasing after it.
he remembers the way you stopped the ball and picked it up.
he remembers how angry he felt—the older kids had already tried to steal it from him before; he wasn't about to let it happen again.
anger bubbled up as he watched you examine the ball like it was some peculiar object you'd never seen before. "can i play with you? you tilted your head curiously, a playful smile curling onto your lips.
he was about to refuse, but you didn't give him the chance before dropping the ball.
it bounced once or twice before it calmed, resting on the floor. you stepped back slightly, your left foot in front of the right as you prepared to kick… then, you fell back, your leg going up as you landed on your butt.
rin bit back a laugh; the anger that had boiled up in his chest not even seconds ago quickly simmering down.
his eyebrows stitched together as he watched you lay on the wet grass much longer than any normal person would.
you lifted your head slightly, an expression of absolute betrayal overwhelming your once joyful expression. "are you not gonna help me up!? what kind of gentleman are you!?"
"it's you fault you fell," he deadpanned.
"excuse me, you're supposed to help a girl up when she falls," you argued, rolling your eyes dramatically.
"bla bla bla," rin mocked, as he sauntered over to your side.
"thank—" you cut yourself off; you'd expected him to have come to your side to help you up, coming to his senses, but no.
"i just want my ball." you let out an exasperated gasp in response as you helped yourself up, brushing off the grass that stuck to your clothes.
"anyway, can i still play with you?" you smiled once again.
"please," you pleaded, stretching out the end of the word.
"fine, whatever," he huffed, passing you the ball.
he watched as you proceeded to once again try to kick the ball—not surprisingly failing once again, landing on the floor.
he'd never admit it, but part of itoshi rin knew he loved you from that day on.
by sixth grade, two years after he met you, itoshi rin got butterflies when you were around—which was almost all the time.
you'd always come around his house, you'd always beg to play with him and his brother even though you had barely improved, your only skill being that you could now kick and run after the ball without falling.
he'd always go easy on you letting you win because he couldn't bear to see the sad look on your face every time you lost.
he got his brother in on it too.
he'd take this secret to the grave—but he always watched you from the window—curtains drawn back ever so slightly, just enough so he could sneak a peek outside.
he'd watch you walk up to the house; he'd quickly race towards the front door, opening it before you could even ring the doorbell.
the second he'd see you up close, the butterflies in his stomach would act up, his face flushing with red.
by seventh grade, itoshi rin knew he was in love. obsessed, even.
he'd spend hours helping tutor you in english because he knew you sucked at it: he'd sit patiently as you tried to understand, confused.
sometimes he'd skip soccer practice just so he could spend more time with you.
you'd scold him, knowing how important practice was to him, knowing his coach would make him run extra laps the next day, but he didn't care.
his watching habits didn't end either, he'd watch you the entirety of class, the teacher calling him out since he seemed overwhelmingly interested in looking at your ear.
he'd take any and every opportunity to walk you home, even though he'd have to turn around and walk in the complete opposite direction and arrive home even later than anticipated.
by eighth grade, you stole his first kiss.
it didn't mean anything—to you at least—you only asked because everyone was doing it. you wanted to know what it was like too.
"let's kiss," you declared bluntly, catching him off guard.
the two of you were simply sitting on his bed, the door of his room open because his parents wouldn't let you close it.
"what?" he raised a brow as you inched closer to him. "everyone's doing it; i just wanna see what all the excitement's about," you shrugged as if it were a light matter—as if he weren't about to spontaneously combust.
"fine," he caved, though there wasn't any effort put into convincing him on your part. he just knew to never say no to you.
you got closer; he felt as if his world came to a halt, his heart beating so fast out of his chest that he felt like you'd be able to hear it if you got any closer.
your soft lips met his for a quick moment before you quickly jumped back at the sound of sae's voice.
"what are you doing?" he laughed, though he was utterly confused at the sight he'd just witnessed.
"nothing, get out of my room!" rin grabbed the biggest pillow within reach, throwing it at sae, who swiftly ducked under.
"whatever, mom and dad say dinner's ready."
the second sae walked away, a soft chuckle escaped you as you got off the bed. "come on, i'm hungry."
rin was disappointed that the kiss didn't last long—but even more disappointed at how it seemed to mean absolutely nothing to you.
your freshman year of high school, you got your first boyfriend.
he spent a whole month crying in his room, analysing the boy nonstop, trying to figure out what that guy had that he himself didn't.
rin had better grades, looks, football skills, passion, and height.
gosh, the mere thought of you laughing at that son of a bitch's jokes crushed his heart into bits and pieces.
he watched as he walked you home—not him—but your stupid boyfriend.
he saw the way he made you smile—the way a certain glow in your eyes would appear every time he was around; he couldn't bear it.
your visits to his house dwindled as you eventually stopped coming around altogether.
it was the end of the fucking world for him.
but as all relationships do, by summertime, the boy was quick to break up with you—claiming he couldn't waste his time on you when there were so many other "prettier girls" (yeah, sure) out there waiting for him during summer.
rin couldn't help but swallow a laugh when he heard the words roll off your tongue, your hands covering your face as you cried.
"no one's gonna love me ever again!" you cried dramatically as your head fell back onto his lap.
he didn't have time for that.
"no he's not; he's everything, rin. everything."
he wanted to be your everything.
why couldn't he be your everything?
why couldn't you love him?
safe to say, the second you left, he ended up spending the rest of his night crying.
the whole cycle repeating again and again almost every day leading up to the end of summer.
by sophomore year, you were finally over him.
you claimed it was just a phase, that it didn't matter all that much, like you weren't crying your eyes out as rin struggled to comfort you almost every night.
by sophomore year, the universe was finally back in order.
he finally got to walk you home again, listening to you ramble off dramatically about how horrible your day was or how you'd flunked your test.
you were finally back in his house 24/7, complaining about school and everything you possibly could.
you were finally all his again—even if you weren't really aware of that information.
by junior year, isagi transferred to your school.
he watched as the two of you became friends; he watched as you invited him over to your lunch table.
he watched as he made you laugh in a way he couldn't.
isagi was already competition in football—he didn't need him as competition when it came to your attention.
he knew he liked you; it was obvious. he looked at you the same way rin had always looked at you. it enraged him—he wasn't going to lose you, not like that—and definitely not to isagi. yet, he was still too cowardly to do anything, to stop isagi from making a move on you.
and the worst part is, rumours of you liking isagi started floating around school—you didn't deny them, nor did you confirm them—but your silence about it was worse.
he could do nothing but gradually believe the rumours, slowly crushing all the happiness that remained of having you all to himself again.
by senior year, nothing had changed.
well, you and isagi had gotten closer; that changed.
it crushed him more than seeing you with your last boyfriend ever did. because isagi wasn't some guy—isagi was his rival. to make things even worse—prom was just around the corner—and what did poor rin have to hear from bachira? isagi was planning to ask you to prom.
he couldn't have that—no, he wouldn't have that.
next thing he knew, he was running over to your house. it took thirty minutes—and probably his soul.
he was running on pure adrenaline; he didn't have a moment to waste. he was going to do this. he had to do this. he had to make you his.
but what if you truly didn't love him?
what if he lost you for good because you didn't feel the same?
no—he couldn't think like that—he has to do this. he will do this.
the words repeated in his head over and over as he rapped on the door. the door swung open. the air caught in his throat as he took in the sight of you.
"why are you wearing a dress?" he asked, earning an unserious scowl from you.
"i was just– it's none of your business actually," you defended, crossing your arms.
"you look pretty," he mumbled under his breath, words only audible to him.
your eyes stitched together as you tried to figure out what he said, the only word you picked up on being "you".
"nothing. can i come in?"
his arms felt weak—his whole body did—as he sat on the couch. he never felt like that around you; sure, sometimes his heart would beat out of his chest, and his stomach would do backflips whenever he saw you—but never like this.
his eyes lingered on you longer than they should as he took in the ethereal sight of you in your long dark blue dress.
"why do you keep looking at me like that?" you enquired, raising your brow—but if he looked closely, he'd notice the small smile that you were desperately trying to fight off.
his heart was physically going to jump out of his chest.
"i love you, i've always loved you. i'll never stop." the words rolled off his tongue before he could even process the fact he'd said them.
you opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it. "and i– i can't sit here and watch you with isagi—i can't wait until he asks you to prob and just hope you say no– i want you to at least know, even if it ruins everything between us." tears raced down his eyes as he spoke; he'd never cried in front of you. heck, he's never cried in front of anyone before.
"my heart hurts physically every time i see you with him, the thought of not having you all to myself—" his ramble stopped the second he felt your lips crash onto his.
he felt his world stop—the same way he felt that time you kissed him as kids, his heart beating even faster now.
he felt your hands clasp onto his face as he got lost in the kiss. he was hungry. hungry for you. he'd waited years for this moment—a moment he felt would never come.
he was still lost in the kiss when you pulled away, still chasing after the feel of your soft lips against his, the taste of your strawberry lip balm still lingering on his tongue.
"i love you too rinnie, i always have. i always will."
can u tell i cant write kissing scenes for shit LALALALLA
