this is a love amazingphil zone

ive come back from the dead to say fuck all the people philly mentioned in his coming out videos (and fuck Sam the surfer). y’all missed out 😘

[danhowells-hitlist]

offical hit list

@samthesurfer

@kylefromthestationarystore

@jasononmsn

and that asshole from the bar @mrchineserestaurant

[danhowells-hitlist]

sheep boy (Dwayne)

alternativebastard (Blaine)

unidude (bane)

[danhowells-hitlist]

even the porn bots are wondering where Daniel Howell is

[danhowells-hitlist]

offical hit list

@samthesurfer

@kylefromthestationarystore

@jasononmsn

and that asshole from the bar

[samthesurfer]

Oh, hear me out, young man. You are nothing compared to my surfing skills.

[jasononmsn]

And I work in tech. I can program a robot and hack into your accounts. You don’t scare me.

[mrchineserestaurant]

Am I that asshole from the bar? I’d bet money I’ll end you in minutes.

[danhowells-hitlist]

you think you can defeat me? i have an army of thousands of lesbian phannies. we will not hold back, all is fair in love and war

[samthesurfer]

who the fuck is phil lester

[kylefromthestationarystore]

the one who got away

[samthesurfer]

... what does that even mean

[kylefromthestationarystore]

it could’ve been me... hello. my name is [kyle]

[jasononmsn]

Guys, can I be in your club? Because sometimes I wish I could wind back time to the noughties.

[mrchineserestaurant]

I wish I could go back in time and ask for his number and not only if he was the guy of the commercial. I was his fan.

[samthesurfer]

Guys...

[danhowells-hitlist]

you are all too late. he’s mine

[wg12349876]

dan: *furiously scribbling down in a notebook at 3am*

phil: “babe what are you doing?”

dan, muttering to himself like a gremlin: “fucking kyle. jason. nightclub bastard man. never again. i’ll show them. morons.”

[danhowells-hitlist]

this is exactly what happened

[danhowells-hitlist]

offical hit list

@samthesurfer

@kylefromthestationarystore

@jasononmsn

and that asshole from the bar @mrchineserestaurant