Hello?

Are you sure about that...

[carnelianfoxx]

You won't believe your eyes,

Ten thousand naked guys

that means… twenty thousand cocks…

[carnelianfoxx]

I made a miscalculation.

[byefaction]

I'd like to make myself believe

[capacity2]

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

[starlit-syncopation]

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

[capacity2]

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

[redstonedust]

i grew up in a family of left leaning hippies (thank god) but i can't stop thinking about the one holiday dinner party where my teenage cousin said something about immigrant hotels and needing to stop the boats and there was like. a pause at the table until our grandpa, a very mild mannered man, just went "now where the fuck did you hear that?" Incredible aura. ive never heard that man swear before or since but man did he pick a perfect time for it.

[pepsi-maxwell]

there's a delicate balance between "seeing something on my dash so often i end up caring about it unexpectedly" and "seeing something on my dash so often that it gets added to the blocked list with extreme prejudice"

[watasnak]

what the fuck are my mutuals doing

[emil]

[dee-the-red-witch]

I.... oh come on. Admit it. You know you wanna stick your feet inside the Kirbussies.

[dee-the-red-witch]

KIRBUSSIES.

[rohirric-hunter]

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

[mushroominaforest]

Shout out to the doctor who responded with complete sincerity when I (on anesthesia) uttered the phrase “chat are we cooked” in her medical professional vicinity. You’re such a real one for that fr fr

[catdotwav]

whatever you call this

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

"came back wrong" but it's food that you heated up in the microwave

[abalidoth]

OK SO

For anyone who hasn't heard my Microwave Rant:

Microwaves are designed to be used at a broad range of power levels. If you're getting bad results reheating your food, and you're doing everything on full blast, try a lower power setting! 50% power for twice the time, just give it a shot. It gives the heat time to spread evenly, and prevents overcooking of parts that are exposed to more radiation.

People complain about reheated pizza a lot -- that's bc overheating the crust makes it tough and chewy. I usually do pizza on 30% power for THREE times as long because it's especially vulnerable -- and my crust always comes out nice and tender.

I think there's a good metaphor for Came Back Wrong here too: if you actually take the time to do your necromantic ritual and/or unholy experiment right, and don't rush it at 100% power, you're likely to get better results.

[mouseonamoose]

Since reading this post and following its advice, my microwaved good comes out so much better.

[archenarrow]

Since reading this post a d following its advice, my necromantic rituals have come out so much better.

[codex-entry]

sometimes i just think about Overwatch and just get sad

[codex-entry]

Like, you drop the most inescapably popular and influential shooter of an entire generation, with a cast overflowing with some of the most instantly iconic characters we've ever seen, that captures a fanbase which is so eager to learn about any aspect of these characters that they start willfully lapping up character trailers and ARGs as though those are good forms of storytelling for games in order to get just the vaguest taste of what this world offers,

And then proceed to single-handedly fumble the bag so bad that the primary legacy the game can claim to have is using that promise of a story to bait-and-switch it's fans into buying an incomplete sequel that was rushed into production because you punished a Hearthstone player for being pro-democracy, being the final needle to pop the e-sports speculator bubble there by financially draining nearly every competitive gaming scene to the brink of bankruptcy (at best), and having indirectly lead to advancements in 3D animation because your game effectively has it's own category on pornhub. Oh, also, you alienated the director of the game so hard that he leaves the company and seemingly retires from the entire gaming industry.

Only a room full of the most cynical and dollar horny suits imaginable could fuck this up so bad. I'm not even mad at this point. Just saddened on behalf of everyone on the dev team who actually gave a shit and embarrassed on behalf of the lootbox blinded execs who didn't.

[codex-entry]

There is no fucking way I'm seeing people in the tags waxing nostalgic about how 'good' and 'consumer-friendly' Overwatch's loot boxes were, I didn't include how it normalized in-game gambling for children on the list of it's horrible, horrible legacies because I figured that just went without saying. Sincerely the most evil and shameful consequence of Overwatch's tragic life and in a just world people would have gone to jail for it's implementation.

[annabelle--cane]

damn then it's a good thing none of this ever happens in monogamous relationships. as we all know, jealousy, breakups, and pregnancy were all abolished for two-person couples in 1993 with the passing of the "stable happy marriages 4eva and eva" act.

[importantcatpics]

[wolfertinger666]

trans women and black people shouldn't have to constantly live in fear online

[teaboot]

It is simply not fulfilling to enjoy media in the height of its popularity. You need to show up so late to the party that everybody else is gone and the hosts are asleep so you can rummage through their trash for chip dip and stale hors d’oeurves to eat alone in the dark like a dirty little raccoon secret

[odvulture]

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Phantom of the Opera and Beauty and the Beast all speak to one of humankind most consistent questions;

can French men be loved?

[rose-colored-tea]

[halorvic]

[stevishabitat]