saved by @raysjumper

go follow @raysjumper

[jishooua-deactivated20160513]

[hurried-deactivated20181109]

the most dramatic moment of my life

[narry-destiel]

we were all Lily

[ommanyte]

I heard someone swear “you mother fuck!” over the phone the other day, and all I could think of was this

[phantom-quantum]

when its sunday 11pm and u remember u had homework

[just-shower-thoughts]

So I just learned ejaculation comes out at 27mph. That makes it illegal in a School zone.

[cunt-inent]

there are other reasons ejaculation isn’t generally accepted in school zones, but sure

[overcookingmytoast]

SOMEONE CALL 911 I JUST WITNESSED A FUCKING MURDER

[cknd]

I spend so much time alone that if I was ever falsely accused for a crime I would never have an alibi

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

Officer, my internet history will prove I was reading gay porn at the time of the murder

[what-grace-has-forgiveness]

[thefantastician]

[wivernryder]

How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?

[mttheww]

you ask him nicely

[amandaexmachina-deactivated2018]

I needed ibuprofen after this.

[thefantastician]

[freddiebaby]

Guys, Dan has this case. SPREAD THE WORD AND SAVE OUR SMOL CHILD

[youtubeandfandoms-deactivated20]

@danisnotonfire

[dans-jumper]

@danisnotonfire

[i-thefandommenace-i]

some kenobi valentines because i found the lack of them disturbing

[funnystories]

funny story

one time when i was 8, me my dad and my little brother went into Brookestone in the mall (a store that has a bunch of random cool technology stuff). well anyway we make our way to the back of the store and i find the area that has all the massagers for your back and arms, legs, etc. im looking and looking and I find a tiny little massager…i pick it up and yell at my dad across the store “PAPI WHY IS THIS MASSAGER SO TINY WHAT IS IT GONNA DO MASSAGE MY FOREHEAD?!” and i proceed to rub it while on all over my forehead….that was the moment i found out what a vibrator was.

[bondange]

dan’s jumper is worth more than my life and i’m okay with that

[dans-jumper]

that's so nice of you thank you