Painting feels like an unraveling of my (sometimes dysfunctional) being. Every bad / good brush stroke, wrong / right value, colour, shape or line feels like a symbolic metaphor for who I am. Wonky line - wonky Dan! The truth is, the more meticulous, precise or āperfectā my work looks, the more anxious, insecure & self conscious I probably felt the day I did it. I have unattainably high standards and yet my own work rarely meets them. Iāll spend a month on a cm patch & lose total self belief, the next day, Iāll paint a single dot in the right place & Iām overcome by an inflated sense of pride, itās funny man! Oil painting seems to be about making a series of mistakes on the canvas, THEN⦠correcting all those mistakes over a long period of time. Iāve never experienced discipline like this, a constant back & forth with taking & losing control. With no formal art education I feel an unbounded sense of freedom yet sometimes an irritating lack of knowledge, I realise this makes my art pure (ish) as itās my own recipe but sometimes itād be nice being told how to do it, haha, the internet helps of course! Iām defo going loopy, but also feeling a new sense of stability in other emotional aspects, could be the work? Or coincidence? Who knows? At the risk of sounding self indulgent and exploitative of my platform, this work symbolises new ways I can take active responsibility for my own suffering, no matter how trivial it may seem. My work is now giving me a sense of purpose & genuine self worth. Feeling important is part of human nature, and a healthy pursuit (done with integrity). Iām learning to make sure that what Iām making is important to me, before spending precious time on it. Working in solitude is essential but for long periods of time (unless itās meditative) isnāt healthy for me, can you tell? So, it needs to count! Art isnāt my therapy, itās my duty, at least for now! Iād love to hear your thoughts. Thank you so much you lush people, your ongoing support is beyond appreciated! Iāll have a very special print release coming for you soon. https://www.instagram.com/p/BqvE8kSlcwQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1lfv5u7ehuw9x