A homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was.
(from now on, the title for a collection of drabbles for the Bungou Stray Dogs RPG AU)
A Grimoire of Light. Full of warmth and happiness, of smiles and laughter.
Whenever Odasaku opens it, his magic comes to life in the form of little creatures: fawns, ducklings, butterflies, kittens, occasionally a baby furred whelp from the North. They are warm to the touch, soft, almost like dandelions before they scatter into the wind. The children will smile. Dazai would feel warm.
But now, as he carefully lays the book down on the lush grass before Odasaku’s grave, the book feels cold and heavy. He could feel- hear the thrumming of magic even through the leather bag, high-pitched and mellow, a music for the Light mages. But to him, he who had cursed and destroyed with the dark arts, it’s nothing more than a metal grating noise.
And of all people… why him?
“Odasaku, you know I can’t take this,” He whispers. But by some unknown force, he’s already undoing the metal clasp on the bag and bringing out the book, “And even if I do…”
He gives a dry laugh. Had Odasaku expected him to use it? There’s definitely no way. A Grimoire writes itself by the spells the holder uses.
The Dark Arts does not need a Grimoire.
“Really Odasaku, you have too much faith in me,” in someone like me.
He stares at the closed book of rich red and gold embossed markings. If he focused enough, he knows he can feel it- the warmth and thrumming of the songs of the Light. Maybe, just maybe, he’s in the wrong this time.
“But you know it won’t hurt to… try?”
He was wrong, he was so wrong.
His hand freezes the moment the book opens, and his eyes widen. From the corner of the page, a black shadow slowly creeps up like the ashes trailing after a fire, consuming the umber-inked words and symbols. It fades as it reaches the middle.
Dazai feels his heart ache.
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