about me ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻
⤷ name › daphne bourne. only my web identity.
⤷ pronouns › she/her. was born a female and identify as such.
⤷ sexuality › if i have to put a lable on it: probably polysexual.
⤷ age › twenty-nine, but sometimes twelve or eighty-six.
⤷ zodiac › capricorn. don't mess with me or my mutuals.
⤷ nationality › born and raised in germany.
⤷ character › y'know kensi blye? that's me. especially the lazy, chaotic part of her who cannot cook.
⤷ tumblr › i mostly write and reblog reader inserts here.
⤷ ao3 › you can find my stuff there, too, but you need to be logged in to read it.
⤷ wattpad › recently joined, but honestly? this site is the worst.
⤷ fandoms › a-team. call of duty. criminal minds. detroit become human. doctor who. dying light. far cry. game of thrones. grand theft auto. harry potter. hawaii five-o. into the badlands. kingsman. las vegas. lord of the rings. macgyver. magnum pi. ncis. one chicago. pirates of the caribbean. primeval. red dead redemption. resident evil. stargate. star trek. terra nova. transformers. the last of us. watch dogs.
⤷ my top 4 hubbies › hosea matthews. john price. alden parker. severus snape.
⤷ my wifeys › valeria garza. captain angel.
›› last edited: 20th April 2023.
far cry ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸻
catching cocodrillos or feelings
⤷ sfw › carlos montero x fem!reader
[ part one | part two | part three ]
returning nightmare
⤷ sfw › juan cortez x gn!reader
detroit become human ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸻⸺⸻⸺
i won't leave you
⤷ sfw › simon (PL600) x android!reader
hunter & prey
⤷ sfw › nines (RK900) x android!reader
ncis ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸻
Parker's Stalker Series
⤷ sfw › alden parker x fem!reader
[ part one | part two | part three ]
fam ⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸺⸻
shameless flirt | after hours
⤷ nsfw › freddy barnes x fem!reader
[ part one | part two ]
Warnings: jealous!reader, slight angst but mostly fluff and flirting, allusions to smut but no actual smut
A/N: This song popped up on shuffle and this fic just came to me. Enjoy!
Thank you @daphne-bourne for reigniting my Gibbs love and finally getting this out of my drafts! 💕
You walked with a certain pep in your step as you made your way to the front lobby of the NCIS building where you knew your man would be waiting for you. It was nice working in the same building, him in the investigative unit and you in legal, since you could meet up for coffee breaks or after the workday. It had been such a long, frustrating day today and you couldn’t wait to fall into his embrace.
To your surprise, he wasn’t sitting at his usual spot with a coffee in his hand and another on the table for you. No, he was standing near the small café with a wide smile on his face, hands in his pockets, and a tall, lean, red-headed woman in front of him.
You slowly made your way down the long staircase to the main floor of the lobby, your gaze never leaving your boyfriend and his new friend. She was laughing and putting her hand on Jethro’s bicep as you approached. He must have said something that was just so funny. A hot blush swells over your chest.
“Jethro,” you practically spat, clearing your throat and taking a step closer. His eyes met yours and his features immediately softened into a real smile, much different than the fake one he was sporting just a moment ago.
“Hi sweetheart,” The words flow off his lips in that deep baritone honey you love so much. You raise your brow, glancing over to the mystery woman quickly, trying your hardest not to give in to his knee-weakening gaze.
“Oh Jethro, is this one of your fellow special agents?” The woman questions. It takes everything in you to not slap her right across her primped face. Patience is a virtue you remind yourself in your head
Rather than letting him answer the question, you step closer to him and place a hand firmly on his shoulder, balancing yourself to reach up and kiss him sweetly and deeply. Usually you wouldn’t show such affection in public, but you had a point to make. You can hear an audible gasp coming from the red-headed hussy behind you.
Your lips lock with his over and over, tongue poking onto his lower lip. Jethro grabs at your arm with a harsh grip, practically asking you “What the hell has gotten into you?” With only his fingertips. A soft hum escapes your lips as you finally pull away and you meet Jethro’s wide-eyed expression with your smug one.
“Very special,” You purr, reaching over to swipe a smudge of lipstick off of his lip. Out of the corner of your eye you see Jethro trying desperately to hide a cheeky smirk from spreading across his face.
“Oh, Jethro was just telling me how close your team is, but I, uh, didn’t realize you were, so um—“ The woman stammered and straightened up, fidgeting with her blouse, suddenly unsure what to do with her hands.
Jethro’s hand slides down to land on your lower back and he presses a short peck to your temple. You can barely feel the small gust of air expelling from his nose as he stifles a laugh.
“Some more than others,” He finally breaks the uncomfortable (for the mystery women) silence.
“Well it was lovely to meet you,” You begin facetiously, “Better be on our way, hm Jet?” You slide your hand into his and turn to head towards the door.
She just stands there speechless, probably for the first time in her life, and watches the two of you walk away, hand-in-hand.
You make it out the door and into the warm summer evening air before Jethro lets out a laugh. Your eyes meet his as your hands raise to your hips, one popping out to the side, just waiting for him to speak first.
“Green is a new color on you, sweetheart,” He laughs and pulls you into a sweet hug, still chuckling snd shaking his head.
“I’m sorry,” You sigh into his warm, broad chest, “I didn’t mean to make a scene. I just, I didn’t like the way she was talking to you — flipping her hair, grabbing your arm,” You mock her movements in a most exaggerated fashion, pulling another honey-glazed laugh from your man.
“Just an old friend, killer,” He reassures you, pulling your hand up to meet his lips while you just stand there, defeated.
“Mhm, you have a lot of old friends around here, player,” You raise an eyebrow at him again, jabbing your finger jokingly into his chest, “Especially red-headed ones.”
He lowers his chin to meet your gaze head-on, the hint of a smile yanking on one side of his closed lips. He grumbles something akin to “c‘mere” and pulls you into him again, one hand meeting the small of your back and the other resting at the base of your neck. His long, thick fingers snaked over your loose hair and pulled it over your shoulder so one ear was exposed. He placed a sweet peck on your lips before trailing them to the shell of your ear.
“None of them compare to you,” He growls, barely loud enough for you to hear, but you feel the change in his tone immediately. A silly grin spreads across your face as you feel a rush of excitement creep into your chest.
Jethro does something next that sends that heat straight down to your lower half. He slides the hand that was planted on your back down and plants a swat on your butt that sends a shiver up your spine. He rarely shows you that kind of affection out in public.
It was when you lifted your eyes to meet his in surprise that you spotted Tony and McGee walking up to you, likely just wanting to say and instead getting a free show. Tony had wider eyes than you’d ever seen before and Tim was turning every shade of red.
“Uh, hey you,” Tony greets timidly, “Boss.” He can’t seem to meet either of your eyes. McGee just smiles and adjusts the collar on his shirt nervously.
“Hi boys!” You let out a laugh and tuck yourself into Jethro’s shoulder, pretending to hide your face, while he wraps a strong arm around your waist. He’s suddenly got the same stern look he always seems to have around his team.
“Have a good weekend, agents,” Jethro says with a certain lilt in his voice that only you seem to catch. Tony and McGee let a stream of “thanks boss,” “you too boss,” “bye guys,” “take care,” fall from their still-shocked mouths as you wave and start heading for the car per Jethro’s strong hand on your back guiding you that way.
You look up at him and his stern expression finally breaks, the corners of his mouth turning up into a knowing smile. He leans slightly and presses a kiss to your temple as you hurriedly make your way home so you can continue what he started.
Jethro Gibbs x f!reader (mentions of female anatomy)
TW: VERY SMUTTY (duh)!! MINORS DNI!! Minor praise kink, size kink, gun play (if you squint), just lots and lots of sexual situations
A/N: Hiiiiiii I have been watching NCIS lately and have recently discovered I am basically in love with Gibbs 🥵 Let me know what other LJG stuff you want to see! Thank you for reading!!
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
Gibbs is a saint basically. It depends on the situation, but if you’re at home (or his), he’ll get a warm cloth and clean your body so gently so you can just lay there in your afterglow. He’s not a huge cuddler, but if you just give him a sweet look, he’ll snake an arm under your waist and pull you into him so you can lay your head on his chest.
If you’re in public like the elevator, his truck, the parking garage he’ll wipe your chin, button your pants and smooth out your top. He’s as cool and collected as always and he’ll help you look somewhat back to normal. A quick kiss on your temple or a smack on your backside before parting ways is customary.
B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His hands. Gibbs doesn’t pay much attention to his looks, just clean and put together is good enough for him, but he knows his hands are the best part of him. He can apprehend a suspect, protect his team with a firearm, smooth a rough surface, make you feel amazing, communicate in silence, basically do it all with just his two hands. You can’t say you disagree either.
His favorite part of you, as cliche as it sounds, is your face. Gibbs is old-school after all. He loves to see your smile light up a room, the minute movement of your muscles when you need to signal him during a sting, the way your features contort when you’re lost in pleasure, the empathy in your eyes when speaking with a victim’s family, the way your eyebrows raise when he makes a sarcastic comment. He’d quite literally do anything you asked of him just to see your eyes light up and you know it. :,)
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
Oh man. You know about Gibbs’ past, so you knew before you ever got together that kids were off the table, and you were fine with that. This gives him the opportunity to cum wherever he wants on your body. It just depends on the circumstance, of course. If you’re at home, he’ll make an absolute mess of you. Sometimes your tummy, chest, back, wherever is closest. If you’re at work out and about, he’ll probably come in your mouth for the sake of easy clean up, but he still loves to see your lipstick smeared and drool running down your chin before cleaning you up.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Usually Gibbs is a very dominant person, both in his work and personal life. What surprises you, however, is that he doesn’t mind being bossed around in bed from time to time. Especially after a rough case, he’ll let you do whatever you want to him. It doesn’t always last long, though. You’ll be riding him nice and slow with his hands pinned over his head, then before you realize it he has you flipped over to your back and is pounding into you.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
The man has been married four times, so he’s no stranger to pleasing a woman. He’s learned exactly what to do to turn you into putty in his hands. He knows exactly what to do and when to do it, which he uses to his advantage. Whether he wants you to cum quick and dirty or to draw it out for hours, he knows exactly how to do whatever he wants to you.
F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Though it sounds boring, Gibbs makes missionary anything but boring. He loves to see your face as he rolls his hips into you, spreading your legs as far apart as he can or throwing them over his shoulders. He can kiss your lips or your neck, grab at your tits and pinch your aching nipples between his strong fingers. His free hand will always slide down to your throbbing clit and send you into orgasm after orgasm, overstimulating you until you’re begging for him to stop. He loves the control being over you gives him. Oof!
Close second would be you riding him on his couch. His hands can grind your hips into his or slide down your back, making you arch into him and bringing your tits to his mouth. Any time he gets to watch your face when you come undone is his favorite.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Gibbs is usually pretty serious, but sometimes his silly side will peak through while you’re having sex. If you’re having a quickie in the elevator, he’s as serious as a heart attack.
“You’ve got three minutes to cum. If you don’t, you’ll pay for it later. Understand?”
But if you’re at home and he caught the bad guy that day, he’ll be a lot more relaxed and have some fun. He might tease you while you’re making dinner or kiss you while he’s working on his boat. He’ll laugh while you’re struggling to unbutton his shirt and take over, shoving your eager hands out of his way.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Our silver fox keeps himself well-groomed. Not completely hairless, but neat and well-kept. He shaves his face everyday, of course, but you love to feel the scratchy stubble on your face when you climb into bed or when you’ve been working late.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Gibbs is so sickeningly romantic and intimate when he wants to be. He’ll kiss every inch of your body and whisper the sweetest things in your ear while he makes love to you.
“You’re so beautiful” “M’so happy you’re mine” “Wish we could stay here forever” “You were made for me”
And the PET NAMES: sweetheart, love, honey, darling, sunshine, baby, doc (if you’re a doctor), red (if you have red hair)
He’ll sneak you romantic looks all day long and drive you crazy until you can get home and act on them.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
He doesn’t really feel the need to masturbate unless he’s away on a long mission or you are. Even then, he’d much rather get you worked up over the phone about what he’s going to do to you when he gets home.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
Gibbs definitely has a dominant side and loves to have complete control over your body. He also loves to praise you when he’s in the sweet, lovemaking mood.
“Atta’ girl” “You're doing so good for me, sweetheart” “That’s my good girl”
When he’s in the mood for being rough, he loves to smack your ass and leave big red hand prints on your skin. Maybe slight bondage, like handcuffing you to the bed or binding your hands behind your back with his belt.
Public sex is kind of a kink for him. The thrill of being caught or of you being found out is exciting for him.
Lowkey I see him having a thing for sliding the cold barrel of his (unloaded) handgun up between your thighs, making you shiver and beg for him to fuck you…
L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)
His most favorite place to take you is at home so he can take his time with you and make you scream his name. Whether in bed, on the couch, in the basement, he loves being able to drag out your time together and turn you into a whining, dripping mess.
Our man isn’t opposed to fucking you anywhere, though. In the elevator with the emergency stop pulled, in his truck before you go into work, bending you over a tree stump while you’re out fishing or hiking. Gibbs will take you anywhere he can.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Seeing you outsmart a criminal or be assertive towards a suspect makes him feral. He loves how confident and demanding your presence is when you’re working a case and how you won’t stop until you find your perp. Anytime you catch the bad guy, he takes you home and rewards you in any way he sees fit, for as long as he wants.
He also loves seeing you out of work clothes and dressed down in shorts and one of his old t-shirts. Nothing gets him going like waking up next to you sleeping in only one of his USMC shirts, or when you come down into the basement dressed in only a button-down shirt of his to coax him to bed.
Basically, this man loves your body and your mind, and anytime you show off either one he wants to show you just how much.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Gibbs would never do anything to really hurt you, so any kind of pain/choking play is off the table. He just wants to take care of you in every way at the end of the day.
Also definitely no daddy stuff. It’s too hard and uncomfortable for him.
He’d never take you if there is any chance a bad guy could be close. Even if you’re looking fine on an undercover operation, he won’t risk his focus, or your life, for anything.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
Oof. He eats pussy like a starving man. After years of experience, he knows just where to lick and nibble and suck to make you lose it. He’ll eat you out for what seems like hours, until you’re so overstimulated and sensitive.
He definitely won’t say no to you sucking his cock, especially if he’s trying to work on the boat but you’re trying to distract him. He loves seeing your pretty lips wrapped around him. Gibbs is a giver, though, so he’ll rarely let you finish him off before giving you a taste of your own medicine.
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
This man can switch between the slowest, sweetest, most romantic lovemaking to fucking you like a horny teenager on an absolute dime.
If he can take his time, he’ll draw every single feeling out and make you feel so loved by him. He’ll run his fingers through your hair and kiss you across your shoulders while you get lost in the rolling ecstasy he’s giving you.
If he’s had a rough day or is frustrated with a case, he’ll take it out on you and you very willingly oblige. He’ll bend you over the bed and pound into you while holding onto a fistful of your hair. Of course, he’ll still kiss you and make sure you’re okay afterwards.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
He definitely is into quickies, but they’ve got nothing on taking you in the comfort of his own home. He’ll pull you into the elevator or wake you up with his face in between your legs 10 minutes before your alarm goes off at least once a week. If he’s working a tough case, definitely more. You’re like a crystal ball for him; he always sees things clearer after being inside you.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Gibbs isn’t a huge risk-taker given the nature of his work, but he’ll try just about anything in the bedroom once, as long as he isn’t hurting you. He knows sometimes you have to put yourself out there to get the reward, but he doesn’t want it to be like that with you. You’re each other’s safe place. That doesn’t mean he’s vanilla, though. He loves finding all the different ways he can make you melt in his hands.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
He might be older than you, but he is strong and in great shape. He’ll always make you cum at least once (probably more) before he even considered letting himself go. If you have the time, he loves to get a snack or read over a bit of a case file and then dive back into you. Half the time you are the one tapping out while he has a silly grin on his face and you know he could keep going.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
Gibbs is definitely not opposed to using a vibrator on your clit while he fucks you. He knows how to make you lose your mind with his bare hands, but he doesn’t mind changing up the sensations for you sometimes. He doesn’t use toys on himself, but he enjoys feeling the vibrations while he slides in and out of you.
Any kind of paddle or crop would be off the table, though. He wouldn’t like the thought of actually striking you with something, only his hands on your ass (and he always rubs away the sting right away).
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
This man will tease you until you feel like you’re going to explode. He’ll drag you right up to your peak, then stop moving and make you beg for him to keep going. Even at work he’ll whisper dirty things in your ear and make you all flustered before walking away like nothing happened, leaving you to calm yourself down. Usually if he was particularly unfair to you, he’ll make it up to you by making you cum as many times he wants you to and leave sweet kisses all over your body.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make.)
Gibbs is generally a man of few words, and he’s no different in the bedroom. Soft-spoken, but assertive. He loves to whisper dirty things in your ear about how beautiful you are, how you were made for him, how pretty you look when you cum, how good you feel around his cock. The occasional grunt and groan will definitely escape his lips while he’s deep inside you. If he’s taking out his frustrations on you, though, slews of curse words will rumble out of his chest. Of course, he’ll tell you he didn’t mean to say all that, but you’ll tell him you liked it.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
Gibbs lowkey has a size kink. He loves that he stands so much taller than you and, even though he has a trim figure, he’s just stronger than you after years of physical work. He loves that he can pin you up against a wall and hold you up in his arms while he fucks you.
ALSO Jealous!Gibbs is also an absolutely animal. He’s long gotten over being self-conscious about being older than you, but any time a man flirts with you or you are a little too friendly with a male agent, he’ll pull you in for a crazy passionate kiss right in the middle of the bullpen. He’s always been a bit theatrical, and he has no problem showing the world who you belong to.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Our man is well-endowed, that’s for sure. You can’t walk around with that kind of big dick energy without backing it up. Depending on the angle, his cock will poke into your cervix — the deepest, fullest feeling. Especially if he has you bent over the workbench in his basement, between the frame of the boat, plowing deep into you. Oof.
Gibbs also 100% has a cute butt that you want to smack all the time and he’ll get mad at you every time.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
This man would fuck you day and night if he could. Age hasn't slowed Gibbs down even a little bit. Maybe he can’t go as many rounds as he once could, but he’ll have you coming over and over again before he even fucks you.
You know you do crazy things to him, too. So when you bend over just a bit further than necessary, or let you too ride up when reaching for something, stand a little too close to an attractive male agent for a little too long (Jealous Gibbs is a different breed), he’ll show you what he thinks about it as soon as he can.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Jethro has always had a hard time sleeping, so he doesn’t usually fall asleep after you have sex. Maybe if it’s been a long day he’ll just give in to his tired body, but usually he’ll hold you until you fall asleep then head down to the basement to watch old movies or work on the boat. Sometimes you’ll make it your personal challenge to wear him out so much he falls asleep afterward, so you whine and whine until he takes control and pounds into you in the most physical way. Even then, he might sleep for an hour or two, then get up again, but you do your best.
(Here’s the promised follow-up. I haven’t used Tumblr in a while so I hope I don’t get in trouble… I also decided to make a separate Tumblr as I didn’t know you can’t reply with your secondary blog, ugh. Future updates will be here, in @terra-713, instead of @terra713. What with the crazy weather, I didn’t get to write much this week, but hopefully I’ll get to do some next week. I just finished season 1 & 2 of Into the Badlands recently, so I’m thinking about something with Waldo. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy this one in the meantime!)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Norman’s very protective and attentive, so after sex, he will tenderly ask if you’re okay/in any pain and if you enjoyed yourself. The latter part is partially from his insecurity after losing his loved ones and not wanting to lose you. With a bit of reassurance from you, he’ll nuzzle into you and hold you close for the night.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
From the way he often leaves a trail of hickeys on your breasts, to your belly, mound then your inner thighs, along with the bruises on your hips from holding you so tight, you get a sense of his favorites. You also notice that they’re all maternal body parts.
He doesn’t have a preference over his body, but if he has to choose, it’s probably his arms because they are how he can feel and protect you, and his chest whenever you lay your head there. And even though he doesn’t want to admit this, his ears are his sensitive spot. He is sensitive to loud noises, but if you moan helplessly in his ear, tickle it with your shaky breath, or nibble on his earlobe tenderly, he will quickly lose control.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He obviously would rather finish inside of you than anywhere else. The thought of filling you up to the brim with his seeds and possibly impregnating you keeps him going. He’ll lose it whenever you beg for him to come inside you. Once you’re finished, he’ll either hold you close and snuggle with you until his cock softens and comes out on its own, or hold you down and wait for a short while before he takes it out as he doesn’t want it to spill out so soon.
He smiles to himself whenever he hears globs of his cum dripping out of you into the toilet as you relieve yourself after sex.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Your scent turns him on tremendously. When he gets lonely during your workday, he will find your pajamas from the night before, the clothes you used to go out, or even the bedsheets with a lingering scent of your pheromone and your perfume/soap… and he’d happily use it to jack off.
He also figured out how to record your voice during one of your lovemaking sessions and has been using the recording of your sweet, needy moans when he needs to relieve some stress.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He has enough experience in the past, and he was married before. However, he’s been out of practice ever since his wife passed away, and it’s been quite a while. At the beginning of the relationship, he would shamefully be honest with you, indirectly suggesting for you to take the lead for you to guide him on how to pleasure you the most.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
He loves to straddle you while pinning your hands above your head. He feels that it’s the best position to mark your neck and your chest, to touch all your curves, to be in control, and to show you who you belong to. He yearns to take in all your moans and groans and your scent. Lastly, it’s because the classic missionary position works the best for reproduction, or so he thinks.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He’s serious and focused, not only because he’s focusing all his remaining senses to feel you but also because he’s eager to please you and want to make sure you feel his love for you. He can get a little too methodical or hesitant when there’s something in his mind (i.e., being jealous when someone else flirted with you or the thought of losing you). With time and reassurance, he can be more relaxed around you.
H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
His prior experience in the military got him to a habit of keeping himself as clean as he can, especially before he became blind (heat, not being able to shower for a long time, and sweat-constricting pants don’t get along well). As it’s a longtime habit for him, he can shave his pubic area easily without sight. But he leaves the other parts alone as he doesn’t want to risk getting cut.
Once you move in with him, and if you request so, he’ll suggest if you want to help him shave everything else.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
As he’s a man of few words and he can’t make a visual connection with you, he tries his best to express his feelings with touch and kisses. He loves to smother you with passionate and desperate kisses and grope you tenderly on every inch of your body, leaving you with goosebumps, hickeys, and bruises. Norman is a godless man, but he worships your body as if it’s his only salvation.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He’s conscious about his age and stamina, so he’s not that fond of spilling his seeds wastefully and would prefer to release it inside of you. When he feels lonely when you’re not home and busy with work, he would try to take his mind off his needs with gardening, chores, or long walks with Shadow. At his age, he also feels a little ashamed to jack off like a young lad. But, when it’s been a while and he can’t take it anymore, he’ll find the clothes you used the night before, lock himself in the bathroom and jack off on the toilet while inhaling your scent from it and thinking about fucking you and your moans. If he has a recording of your voice, he will use that too.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He wouldn’t understand the term, but from what you have noticed, he has several kinks. The biggest is probably his breeding kink. Just from the way he would fuck you harder when you beg him to come inside you or to make you pregnant, and how he holds you longer after sex so his cum wouldn’t spill outside.
His bondage kink comes hand in hand with his breeding fetish. There’s something about tying you up and making you feel helpless from him impregnating you (although he’ll make sure to make you beg for it first). Despite his blindness, he’s pretty handy at tying you up in a variety of different positions to fuck you and at using whatever is available to do so. However, he doesn’t like seeing you in pain, so this side of him usually comes out when he’s feeling jealous, neglected, or he feels you’re being extra bratty or grumpy and feels the need to show you who you belong to or put you in your place.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Of all the locations he has fucked you, his favorite is still on his bed in his bedroom. It’s the safest place for him, and he can take his time to make love with you and give you all the attention in the world without any disruptions. He loves to bask in your scent in his sheets and blanket afterward.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
The talk of having children with you tends to turn him on. Imagining your belly swollen with his child makes him impatient and you’ll find him restraining you then and there, fucking you relentlessly until he floods your womb with his seeds.
His sensitive hearing usually troubles him, but whenever your trembling, breathy moans prickle right on his ear when he would lean on your shoulder as he thrusts in short and deep strokes… It would get him going, and he would rut into you harder than you think he could.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
Sex in new/public places isn’t something he’s comfortable with. Not only because he gets nervous and can get disoriented in new places with all the new sounds, but he also doesn’t like the chances of someone else seeing you in your most vulnerable state.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Norman’s skill, willingness, and patience in eating you out is a pleasant surprise. As he can’t get any visual cues, he would meticulously lap you up, exploring all the nooks and crannies of your folds and savoring your sweet taste. He also enjoys the higher hitch in your breath when his facial hair rubbed against your clit, drenching his beard more with your nectar.
He’s hesitant about asking you to suck him off, but he always appreciates whenever you do it. The way he can feel your wet and plump lips bobbing around his cock, and the vibrations from your throaty moans make him wish he still can see.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
He will start slow, preferring to savor you with every inch of his cock. Once you beg him to fuck you harder or come in you, the pace will pick up a bit along with deeper and rougher thrust. When he hasn’t done it in a while and feels desperate to feel you, he’ll fuck you rough and hard on any surface available, making you speechless from pleasure.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He would prefer making love to you when there are no time constraints—taking his time to worship and pleasure every inch of your body and getting the most out of it himself. However, as mentioned above, when you’ve been busy and haven’t found the right time in a while, he’ll pick and use any chance to relieve his needs.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He’s a planner, and if it comes to your and his safety, he’s not too fond of jumping into anything blindly (sorry). Although, if you beg enough, he’ll tell you he’ll see what he can do, then mull over it for a while before making a decision.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
As you can see from his physique, Norman can last a while for someone his age. His military training was also a lesson in endurance. He knows himself well enough to know how to pace and prolong a round while still satisfying all your needs. He wants to take his time with you as he knows he won’t have that long to go in this world, and every bit is precious to him. Two rounds are usually his max, but he’ll make sure to pace it well. However, when he hasn’t done it in a while, his desire will fuel him to do several more rounds throughout the night, interspersed with short naps in between until he’s shooting blanks.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He would argue he has any, but you’d beg to differ with how skillful he is in using whatever’s available to tie you up if he feels the need to.
He’s not too fond of using an actual sex toy on you, preferring to use his fingers, tongue, or cock as he can get a better feeling of you and how much you’re enjoying it.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
As he loves to take the time to worship and make love to your body, sometimes he ends up being an accidental tease. Several times you beg to have him in you while he’s so engrossed in lapping up your pussy or mapping hickeys on your body.
The only time he purposely teases you is when you’ve been bratty or grumpy to him, and he feels the need to discipline you by strapping you up one of his contraptions. He’ll wordlessly tease all the right spots with his fingers and mouth but won’t penetrate you or let you cum. Not until you’re in tears, begging and pleading and telling him you’re sorry, that he would furiously fuck your brains out.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Not much other than some gravelly groans or moans, preferring to be the quieter one to hear yours.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Blindfolding and tying you up and taking you out to his backyard to fuck you against the fence turns him on badly, unexpectedly. Granted, he doesn’t have any neighbors that would catch you both, but it still gives him the thrill without venturing too much out of his comfort zone. The adrenaline rush also makes him more sensitive to you and his surroundings. He gets so in heat that the air feels like prickling his skin, and he would fuck you hard and fast that you end up with scratches from the wooden fence rubbing against your skin.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Just from his thick, defined arms, you can expect more of the same beneath the clothes. His torso is not too beefy. He’s lither and well-toned with short salt and pepper curls running from his chest towards his loins. His hard cock reminds you of his arms. Well-defined veins, thick but not excessively long with a flushed, circumcised tip.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Definitely above average compared to others his age. He hasn’t done it since he lost his wife other than the occasional masturbation. It’s like his desire has been suppressed, and when he started doing it with you, it overflows. With your occupying his imagination most days, he craves to be intimate with you at least twice a week.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
Due to his age, he does fall asleep quickly after he makes sure you’re okay. He would get drowsy from exhaustion and from your steady breathing as he nuzzles in your hair and holds you tight. He feels that he gets better sleep after doing it.
(If you’re asking why you’re seeing this post again… I did plan to repost it here but accidentally deleted the original post in the other account. Lesson learned not to do any editing or deleting past midnight. If this is your first time here… Hi, y’all! This is Terra. I haven’t written in years and English is not my mother-tongue, so I’ll be ecstatic to know if this is somewhat an enjoyable read for y’all!)
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
Norman is very affectionate behind closed doors. He feels anxious when he doesn’t know where you are, so he is rather touchy-feely or even clingy sometimes. Definitely not the PDA type in public other than light touches to your arm when he needs to get your attention, but at home, he likes to roam his hands on you or at least have a part of your body on him, whether your legs on his lap or your hand on his thigh when you’re reading on the couch.
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
It would be heavy on your side to make this friendship work in the beginning. After being alone and not around people much for so long, he will need to adjust from your constant presence.
He would silently appreciate you if you enjoy the “old people’s hobbies” he likes to do, such as gardening, and slowly open up to you. He doesn’t appreciate being coddled because of his disability and would prefer someone who doesn’t treat him differently just because he’s blind. Once he accepts you in his very tight inner circle, he likes to take care of you in any way he can—maybe you need some help with fixing something, or your plants aren’t growing right.
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
As he is highly affectionate, he enjoys cuddling you. It’s usually the regular big spoon and little spoon, holding you close to his chest to feel your body warmth as he nuzzles your hair and takes deep breaths of your scent. It’s a good thing Detroit doesn’t get too hot.
He also likes the tender moments when you lay on his lap as you rest your head on the nook of his shoulder to cuddle or read him a book as he sits back on the recliner.
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they with cooking and cleaning?)
He’s eager to have you settle down with him but hesitant to express it, always on the lookout for the right moment to ask you without sounding too pushy. He still thinks you’re too good for him, too young with a long life ahead. If it ends up you need to move in with him, he’ll be ecstatic and can’t hide his excitement.
He’s lived by alone long enough to be able to take care of the house and himself good enough, but with you in the house, he’ll try to do more, especially if you work. Since he’s retired and has more free time, he’ll be more than happy to deal with house chores and food prep. He’ll be embarrassed if you tease him that he’s your househusband but silently feels proud when you tell him you appreciate him for it.
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
Norman doesn’t start a relationship just for the sake of it. When you start going out together, then that means you’re a special person for him. So if he ever had to break up with you, high chance it’s out of concern for your safety or your future. It is not an easy decision for him to make; he would have mulled over it for quite some time while hiding it from you, knowing that you’ll bargain with him over it.
How he would do it is akin to ripping off the bandaid. He would tune out of his emotions and tell you straight that he’s breaking up with you. Any bargaining or pleading from your end would fall on deaf ears once he had made the decision. He’d rather have you hate him if it means you’d move on from him faster.
Once you left, he’d be down in the dumps about it. Losing yet another person he cares about would be a big blow for him. He might wail out of frustration and would be a shut-in again.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
At his age, he doesn’t feel marriage is necessary. He’s happy enough that you’re here with him and as long as he knows you have both feet in the relationship, he’s fully committed to it too. However, once he starts thinking about dying first and leaving you alone, he starts thinking about at least getting a civil marriage. He worries about leaving you alone and wants to make sure you’re taken care of after his death.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)
By himself, his movements are a little rough, but he’s gentler with you, treating you like his most precious treasure.
Similarly, being alone for so long has made him not very expressive emotionally, and his actions or lack thereof might hurt your feelings without him meaning to. However, when this happens, he will ask you what he did wrong and own up to his mistakes.
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
He likes every chance to feel your warmth and he would hug you every time he feels the need to feel you more than quick, passing touches or handholding. Norman would reach out to catch hold of you first before gently pulling your head to his chest to either kiss the crown of your head or take a deep whiff of your scent. His arms would wrap around your curves and hold you tightly flush to him as he soaks in your warmth and fragrance. It always seems like he would never let you go before he eventually steps back and plants a quick peck on your forehead.
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
It takes a while for Norman to say the word, preferring to show his love with physical touches. You know that feeling when everything is going too well and you’re afraid to ruin it? He feels that way with you out of fear of losing someone he cares about again. He still thinks you’re too good for him and worries maybe one day you’ll have that realization.
The first time he says it is when he realizes he doesn’t want to lose you and him doing nothing is just going to make it worse—desperately hugging you close and gingerly whispering it to your ears, afraid it’ll break the spell.
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
He doesn’t usually show it, but he gets rather possessive and jealous when other men are catcalling you or when you’re out together and someone tries to flirt with you, thinking you’re not a couple or you’re a father and daughter.
He would hug your shoulder and pull you close while scowling at the person to show them who you belong to. If the other person still doesn’t get the hint, he would shamelessly kiss you in front of them, to your dismay/pleasure, and drag you away while saying, “let’s go home, honey.” Too bad he can’t see both of your reactions.
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
His favorite way to kiss you starts from the crown of your head as he savors your scent, continuing to your forehead as he cradles your head in his hands and feeling the curves of your face. He chuckles as he feels the smile on the corner of your lips and hears your soft laughter from the tickling of his beard. It ends with him holding you close and capturing your lips with deep, hungry kisses as if he’s desperate to taste you.
Similarly, he also likes it when you kiss his forehead or what you lovingly call his ever-present frown—peppering him with short, gentle kisses from in between his eyebrows to his closed eyelid and the scar over his eye. He doesn’t know what it looks like, but from what he can feel, it’s gnarly and unsightly, and for you to kiss it tenderly as if it’s the most lovely thing in the world… It gives him butterflies in his stomach.
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
He’s super gentle with them. Norman knows he’s a little rough around the edges, and babies and toddlers are/can be fragile, so he will be very mindful of himself if little kids are involved. Older kids would probably reassure him that they’re tougher than they look, so he’s going to be more relaxed.
He enjoys spending time with kids, especially girls because they remind him of Emma. He loves it and will get a little excited when the kid is interested in gardening, his dog, or ask him for help reading a (braille) book or other things he can do.
If you have a child together, he will surely be very protective of them. As the child grows older, he’ll be more strict and will teach them anything he can, worrying about the child's survival once he’s gone.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
His perfect morning is where both of you wake up naturally early in the morning where there’s barely any other sound and have enough time to ride out the remaining sleepiness with cuddling and kissing you tenderly. He’s an early bird and tends to get out of bed early unless it’s the weekend and you beg for him to stay in a little longer. If you have to go to work, he will start the coffee and prep a simple breakfast and your work meal while you get ready. Ideally, he loves to have enough quiet time to eat breakfast with you before you leave for the day, where afterward, he’ll take Shadow for a walk and tend his garden.
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
He enjoys the nights with just the two of you and Shadow at home. When you’re settling down for the night after dinner, it’s either you watch tv while explaining what’s it’s about to him, or you read a book—out loud or not—with him on the couch or the recliner.
On some rough days, he’d rather spend it in relative silence with you—keeping you close as you talk in a hushed voice in his ears.
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
He’s not much of a talker. It takes an effort on your end to get to know him as he only opens up about himself if you ask. Even then, you’d notice when you have prodded him too far as he would clam up.
Being vulnerable isn’t easy for him. It takes a while after you gain his trust—and love—that he would open up more about his past, fears, and insecurities. When he does, it usually happens naturally in the privacy of his bedroom as the two of you are laying on his bed late into the night, tangled to each other and just talking about life or other things.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
When he was younger, he had more of an explosive personality, being in the military and all. However, ever since his blinding injury, he has learned that patience is a virtue. If he’s upset with you, he usually keeps it in. However, you will notice sooner or later as he becomes even quieter or grumpier than usual. The only time he gets quick to anger is when your safety is in danger. He will rush to you and do all it takes to keep you safe.
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)
As he relies primarily on his hearing to interact with his surroundings, Norman is a fantastic listener. He’s very good at catching and remembering details of the things you tell him, whether it’s the stuff you like or, you know, the co-worker that’s giving you trouble at work. Norman can even tell from your sighs and tone of voice if you’re feeling down or angry. As mentioned above, he loves asking you about your day.
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
It’s hard for him to choose as he treasures every moment he spends with you, but oftentimes Norman finds himself reminiscing the first time he held you in his arms, not as a friend, but as a couple. He went through a long internal debate about being together with you and it took him a lot of convincing on both ends to accept your relationship finally. As you came to an agreement, Norman pulled you in and embraced you tight, as if making sure it was not a dream. He always fondly remembers the warmth of your body and his first taste of your lips.
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
Very protective. Due to his past, Norman has developed some abandonment issues. He always tries to keep you close as he likes to make sure you’re okay. If you’re the independent type, Norman will relent a bit and begrudgingly give you some space. He always tries to convince you not to go out so much because the house is the one place Norman knows like the back of his hand and he can keep you safe in it, especially since his home is in a shady neighborhood.
He’ll just give you a short chuckle if you ever mention that you can protect him too, but you unknowingly protect him in a different sense. He always appreciates you comforting him whenever he has a nightmare or having a tough time with his past.
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)
He doesn’t want you to know it, but he is very mindful about these things. He enjoys taking care of you and spoiling you even though he doesn’t have much. If you’re busy with work, he’ll do what he can with errands or house chores so you can relax when you get home. He’s not a materialistic person, so the big gifts are things he thinks through for a while, and the small gifts are things that he knows you’ll like or something that reminds him of you. He’s not good with dates and outings, though, preferring to spend time with you at home.
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
His stubbornness is probably the root of all his bad habits. He’s the type who takes comfort in routine and familiarity, even when it’s not actually doing him any good anymore. It’s understandable with his blindness and all, but it can take some patience to get him to try something new. He’s also not very good at expressing his emotions, becoming a grump when he’s bottling up his feelings.
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
He’s lived alone for a while now that he doesn’t care how he looks at home, usually comfortable in his sweatpants with (or without) a sleeveless shirt. He doesn’t have many going-out clothes either, preferring practical and comfortable pieces (that somehow just look good when he’s wearing them). However, he’s definitely not a slouch, as hygiene is important to him. If he can get help, he will maintain his hair and beard regularly.
He isn’t concerned about his looks, but he feels loved when you offer to pick out his outfit.
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
Despite experiencing so many losses in his life, it never becomes easy for him. The thought of losing you is his biggest fear, which is why he can be overprotective at times. Losing you would probably break him. He was a shut-in when Emma died, and it took a while in your relationship for him to open up. If he lost you, he’d return to his old ways.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
He used to enjoy casual reading until he became blind. He still tries to read from time to time, but braille books are expensive as heck. You introduced him to audiobooks, but he can only listen to them for short periods unless it’s you reading to him. He still prefers printed matter.
A running joke between you and him is you saying, “Sir, yes, sir!” when he asks you to do something.
He doesn’t like to depend on people, so he tries to be as self-sustainable as possible, including growing his own food.
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
Hypocrisy and overzealousness. Norman also doesn’t like opportunists who would selfishly exploit the system/other people. In the same way, he hates cheaters and liars.
Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)
Due to his blindness, his sleep schedule can get out of whack as he cannot sense light. Medication only helps minimally for him, and he would wake up at random times and won’t be able to fall back asleep. He also gets nightmares of war or of losing you/Emma/his late wife where he would wake up in a panic, dazedly checking your pulse and breathing (super hard to do in his half-awake state). Once he can make sure you’re alive and breathing, or you’re awoken to comfort him, he will hold you tight and eventually calm down, falling back to sleep lulled by the sound of your heartbeat.
Summary: The reader reflects on her love for Alden and her life with and without him.
Genre and warnings: Romance; Some fluff; angst; hurt no comfort; mentions of possible character death; my lack of proofreading; implied age gap
Word Count: 1.8k
A/N: I’ve been a bit in my feelings all week and writing is my outlet. So this story is a bit sad, but I may write a part two with a happy ending.
Alden tended to his many plants all while you sat next to a heap of his books on the green leather couch. Alden would pick them up when company was expected, but soon after the entire left side would become a resting place for half-read encyclopedias. The sun had set, and even though the room was well-lit, it was darker without the sun beaming inside. Rain poured heavily against the windows as thunder shook the glass panes. You tore your gaze from your book to rove the length of the window. You could make out the moon shining down through a rift of dark clouds against the flash of vivid lighting. Parker didn’t seem phased by the storm, and you found yourself watching him instead of the dreary scene just outside his apartment.
You allowed your novel to remain in your lap, pages going unread as your attention was better suited for the older man before you. You silently watched him, taking in everything about him. His brows were furrowed and his lips parted slightly. In time you realized that was the expression he made when concentrating on either work or one of his many hobbies. He blinked, the crinkles around his eyes moving slightly just as they did when he smiled at you. You loved every line on his face and imagined tracing each one like constellations in a clear night sky.
You felt your heart twist in your chest with love for him that felt more like ships sinking in calamitous waters rather than open fields of wildflowers and sunny blue skies. Your relationship felt windless, yet you knew under the surface your feelings were cataclysmic. You were a dangerous duo, both willing to do anything for the other, and there wasn't a mountain you wouldn’t move or a city you wouldn’t burn just to be near him. You knew you and Alden weren’t special. You were just raindrops in three inches of rain, yet he was your entire ocean and sky, and judging by the way he looked at you–touched you, you knew you were just as important to him as he was to you.
His eyes flickered curiously as he examined the new sprout of lavender he planted just for you. The purple hue stood out against the many shades of green in the room: from the green couch beneath you to the large ficus in the corner. Of course, one would expect to find green in a greenhouse, but even so, your favorite shade of green was the one that looked into your eyes every night. Alden’s eyes were as stormy as the clouds above you, and a shade of green like you’ve never seen before, not even in his greenhouse. Perhaps they were closer to something in the wild, something like evergreens, but then even the deep rich shade of a fir tree couldn’t compare to his eyes.
He must have felt the weight of your gaze because he turned to look at you, and you felt your heart momentarily stop. The rain and thunder took a backseat, and all that was left was your shaky breath and the sound of Alden’s voice soothing you gently.
“You know. Some would say it’s rude to stare.” He said lightly as a gentle smile reached his face. He put down the lavender plant and walked over to you. He reached down, his finger curling under your chin. “You okay?” He asked. Like a warm hug, the softness in his voice was ataractic. You loved when he spoke to you in such a way. As if he saved that low register only for you and no one else.
Your eyes softened, your body breaking out into goosebumps. Just from one little touch of his finger, you felt your defenses crumbling down and you melted into his touch. He moved to sit on the coffee table across from you and leaned forward, placing his hands on your knees. He gazed into your eyes, “What’s on your mind, my love?”
My love. It was such a simple endearment, yet held so much weight. You swallowed back your emotions and exhaled a soft sigh. You covered his hands with yours, lacing your fingers through his. “I was just thinking,” You began with a small smile, “I’ve dreamed of this place. This little oasis where everything outside just vanishes into nothing. Like a safe haven.”
A curious glimmer reached his eyes, “And my greenhouse is that place?”
You hummed a non-committal sound and moved the book aside before seizing his face in your hands, “Yes, I’ve fantasized about it many times," You paused, searching his eyes, "and of you. I didn’t know it was you at the time, but someone like you.”
Alden’s green eyes gentled, and you could see the love he held for you in his gaze. When your fingers brushed over his jawline, he leaned into your touch, closing his eyes and basking in your gentle caresses. You both cherished moments such as this one; moments where the outside world ceased to exist and all that was left was your raptly beating hearts. You loved watching him react to you, just as much as he enjoyed the way you melted under his fervent gaze. He moved to sit beside you, his arms circling your waist and pulling you against his chest. You rested your head against him, and you could feel the beats of his heart vibrating against your ear. You smiled and closed your eyes, soaking in the respite his embrace seemed to offer.
“I thought of you many times before too.” He said, “My marriage failed, I lost love before and after. And even when I thought I was happy, I felt alone. But there was one woman I thought of every night, one that left an ache in my chest. She felt so close yet so far.” He released a soft sigh, his chest rising and falling, “And now I know she was you.”
You tilted your head back, looking up at him a moment before burying your face into his neck. You pressed your lips against his warm skin. Your kisses were small and gentle, barely a brush of your lips, yet they still elicited a moan from him. Your fingers worked the first few buttons of his shirt, and you trailed open-mouth kisses down the cavity of his chest. He gripped the back of your neck, lifting your head to meet his gaze. You stared at him–his face flushed and his lips parted in awe at you. He pulled you toward him and pressed his lips to yours. His arms tightened around you and he pulled you flush against his chest. What started on the couch ended up in the bedroom only moments later. Your clothes ended up in a heap on the floor and you pulled him into you–his body heat like fire against your already burning skin. You made love that night. It was filled with passion, yet gentler than ever before. You took your time with each other, memorizing every touch, and every kiss as if you were inventing something new, something no one ever experienced before. You traced the contours of his face, memorizing every little line like a map to a most sacred treasure.
Thunder rattled the window and you were pulled from your thoughts. The greenhouse was dark, the only light was the bright lighting and half-hidden moon sifting through the large windows. You held Alden’s grey hoodie close to your chest and buried your face into it. Your tears bled into the material that smelt so much like him. Your chest constricted tightly and it felt as if someone had pulled you beneath deep murky waters. You didn’t know which way was up or which way was down and you didn't bother trying to find your way. You couldn’t breathe, yet you were still sitting there in the darkened room with nothing but the sound of the brewing storm outside to keep you company. This was no longer a safe haven, it was no longer shielding you from the outside world. It was just a reminder of how cruel the world truly was. You knew Alden’s job was dangerous. You knew the risks he took every single day, yet you never thought you’d hear the words, “He’s missing. We can’t find him.”
That rainy night in the greenhouse where you watched him, where your kisses led you to his bedroom where he loved you so thoroughly was the last night you saw him. It was the last time you ever touched him, and the memory replayed over and over in your head every time you sat here. The storm wasn’t helping either. It was stormy that night too, but the storm was a depiction of how deeply you loved him, now it was just a reminder of his absence.
You wanted to move. There was a dull ache in the pit of your stomach, and your throat felt dry. You refused to eat, drink, or do anything but stare out the window until he returned to you. Two weeks. Two weeks of this hell, and the team was starting to lose hope. They wanted to believe he was captured, that he was still alive, but with every loose end, they considered calling it quits and presume him dead. The thought brought forth gut-wrenching sobs that left you gasping for air.
You tried to keep his plants alive, but you didn’t have a green thumb like your lost love. As if the plants knew their caretaker was gone, they refused to thrive under your watchful eye. You watered them and kept the temperature exactly how Alden liked it, but no matter how hard you tried the green was starting to turn brown before your eyes. You cried for them. Cried for his stupid plants. You felt it was a sign. You wanted to keep them alive, because maybe if they survived that meant he did too. It was silly, but it's all you had to hold onto. And now that they were wilting away in front of you, you felt maybe he was gone too.
Every little thing reminded you of him. The sound of birds in the morning made you angry, the smell of something sweet made your stomach churn, and the ever growing sprout of spring flowers made you want to bury yourself away until winter came. Winter was much more fitting for your heart that felt frozen just as you were frozen in time, waiting for Alden to walk through the door like he did two weeks ago.
You fell back against the couch, curling into a ball, and clung to his hoodie for dear life, as if was him you were holding. You thought to move away because Alden’s memory haunted every corner of the apartment, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to leave. You were still living in the memory of two weeks before when he was standing there tending to the lavender – when his face was in your hands, when his lips were pressed to yours in a gentle kiss. Now dust collected on the table where the lavender sat and the bed where you made love was barren and cold like a wasteland. Everything you built together had crumbled down and you were left in the rubble with no one left to save you.
But you didn’t want to be saved. You were sad, but you were also angry. Angry at him. He left you, and there was nothing left for you to do but wait for him. And you would wait forever. Your love was everlasting even in the dead of your winter, your love for him was as vibrant as the green in his eyes.
Summary: Alden Parker reconnects with his first love and it gets him all confused
Pairing: Alden Parker x Fem!Reader
Words count: 5.5k
Warnings: age gap relationship, pregnancy talk, mention of dissociation
Author's note: it's been a while since I wrote for Alden and I definitely didn't expect for it to be this long, nor take this way either but here we are. I'm giving myself to opportunity to write sequel fics with that ending, cause you never know. I hope you're enjoying it <3 love!
Around lunch time, he received a text from Jeremy.
‘Wanna come over with your lady tonight?’ He didn’t answer immediately because he didn’t know.
A couple hours later, it was your turn to text him.
‘Jer is inviting us for dinner tonight. I’m down! You?’
He can leave Jeremy on read but he can’t do it to you.
‘Not sure, day’s a mess.’
More like his head is a mess.
‘Is it okay if I go anyway? You can join if you leave work early enough.’
‘Of course, go! I’ll keep you posted.’
‘Works. Love you, Superman! ❤️’
‘Love you too’
“You look miserable, Parker.” Nick Torres informed him as he grabbed a pastry still sitting on Alden’s desk.
“Thanks, Torres?”
“I bet it’s past days haven't been easy for you. When are we going to meet the future Mrs Parker?”
“Don’t know. We got some stuff planned already.”
“You know she can just stop by.” Jess chimed in.
“Been there, done that. Nope.”
“Alden” it was Tim’s turn to join, “We’re not jerks from the FBI, you know?”
“I don’t worry about you guys. But—“ his hand gesture showed off the entire headquarters, meaning everyone else.
“I know what’s going on!” Jess interjected, earning puzzled looks from her coworkers. “You’re gatekeeping her.”
“Gatekeeping?”
“Kasie told me how pretty she is. And she’s younger than you.”
“We established that.”
“You are afraid someone in here, in her age rank, will try to swoop her away from you.”
Alden let out a humorless laugh. “Trust me, Jess, I’ve seen many people try and fail. Right in front of me. I’m not worried about that.”
“Or maybe she’s just good at hiding it.” Nick grinned at his team leader.
“Torres, shut up.”
“Gatekeeping.” Jess said, again. And Tim and Nick repeated it as agreements.
Alden Parker wasn’t sure what drove him to Joy’s house once again. He didn’t even know why he drove for two hours before going there, just to get her favorite pastries from when they were kids. The case is done, and he should put this behind him like it’s been all of those years. But when she opened the door and welcomed him inside, he smiled.
They settled at the table with coffee and pastries, and started to talk. It was about the case this time, it was about them. Their past, what happened, how they felt. What their lives became from there. He learned that his ex wife Vivian visited Joy after their divorce because she “wanted to see the woman she fought against through the entire marriage.”
“That’s very stupid.” He said “And I’m sorry she actually came to see you.”
“It’s okay, at least I knew about how your life turned out. But it was fifteen years ago. What happened after that?”
You. He met you several years after his divorce, but that was the only answer he wanted to give. You happened, and you made his life a thousand times better.
“I'm getting married in two months.”
“Oh! I didn’t—well, congratulations, Park. Kids? Stepkids perhaps?”
“No and no.”
“Do you regret not having kids?”
Alden rubbed his face before answering. “I’m sorry, maybe you don’t want to talk about—“
“She’s younger than me. Young enough to get pregnant, so—“
“Okay, back up. When you say younger than you—?”
“Ryan’s age.”
“You kidding me right now?”
He shook his head no.
“Park, what the hell! Are you seriously getting married to a girl who could be your daughter?”
“Please, don’t, Joy. I’ve had this conversation too many times, I’m not having it with you.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s—“
“Wrong? Bad? Sick? Perverted? Trust me, I heard it all.”
“No, I was just going to say that—it’s too bad.” He looked up to her. “I was hoping you were single.”
He felt her hand on top of his. He knew he should’ve moved his hand away. He should’ve told her to back off, tell her that he wasn’t, and he was very happy about his life and upcoming wedding. But he let her. He let her intertwine her fingers with his. He even squeezed and she softly smiled. She got closer to him, and he didn’t move away. He saw her face approaching his, and he stayed there. Her lips touched his and he didn’t pull away.
When his phone buzzed, he basically jumped from his seat, stepping away from Joy. Confused and lost, he grabbed his phone and saw that Jeremy was calling. He cleared his throat before answering.
“Hey pal.” He tried to sound casual.
“Uncle Alden! Where are you? Are you coming?” Eli.
“Buddy, hey! I’m still at work, but I’m coming soon, okay? I hope you didn’t start eating without me?”
“No but hurry, you’re gonna miss the beginning of the game!”
“I’m on my way! I’m hurrying up!”
“Okay! But auntie said "drive safe.””
“Always.”
Joy was sitting at the table again. “My godson.”
“And he’s waiting for you, from what I understood.”
“Yeah, dinner and a baseball game.”
He grabbed his coat to put it on.
“Is she his godmother?”
“No, Eli was five when I met her. But I really don’t want to talk about her with you, Joy. That kiss shouldn’t have happened.” He started to walk towards the door.
“But it did and you didn’t fight. Not even for a second.”
And he hated that. He hated himself.
He opened the door.
“Maybe that wedding shouldn’t happen.” She said.
He closed the door.
It was probably one of the worst drive of his life. How could he let this happen? How could he do this to you? He never faulted when he was married to Vivian, or any other relationships, but he did it with you. You’re the most amazing thing that ever happened to him, the most precious person he could ever meet, and he betrayed you. And the worst part of this? He wasn’t sure it wouldn’t happen again. Because catching up with Joy does something to him. It makes him feel things he thought long gone. He makes him wonder a lot of things, and pretty much puts his whole life into perspective. What if he changed earlier and her parents didn’t move away? What if she answered his letters? What if life hadn’t separated them?
What if…
What if it was their second chance?
Alden knocked at the door and let himself in as usual. Eli came running to hug his godfather. Jeremy’s wife greeted him with a hug, the men greeted each other with their handshake, and his eyes laid down on you. You stood up from the couch with a soft smile. But he knows you well. He knows there’s sadness behind this smile. You probably could feel his internal struggle and was worried about it. But you were trying to hide it. “Hey you.” You whispered.
To your surprise, Alden pulled you into a hug before kissing your forehead and then your lips. It was brief, but nice.
You all settled in the living room, as the game was about to start. Jeremy’s wife had prepared some toasts and snacks to pick, and she served a beer to Alden. Eli was sitting next to his godfather, wearing his Cubs hat and you were on Alden’s other side. The game started, the conversations went from what you were watching to catching up with one another. Your fiancé and Jeremy talked about work here and there. You and his wife talked about the wedding, and she showed you some stuff she saw online. Lots of DIY.
“Let me just say it. Sweetie, my lovely wife here is just waiting for you to ask to do all those things for the wedding.” Jeremy said.
“Jer!!” His wife interjected.
“Do you really want to do all of this for us?” You asked her.
“Kinda. I mean, I love weddings and I didn’t get to plan ours cause I was very much pregnant. But yeah, I’d love to. If it’s okay with you of course.”
“Of course! I mean I’m good with planning, but decorations, ambiance, that’s not my strong suit.”
“Don’t worry about that then. I’m handling it.”
You hugged her and looked at Alden. He was physically there, but his mind was far away. You could tell.
“Den, you good with Becky taking care of the decor?”
“Yeah, sure. Of course.” He forced a smile. “Thank you Beck’s.”
You spent the rest of the game looking at your fiancé who was clearly avoiding your eyes, or actually you altogether. He was focusing on the game with Eli, shouting at the TV here and there. Becky made small talk with you and you answered, doing your best to hide how you were really feeling. At half time, Jeremy invited Alden to the backyard. “You good, man?”
“Yes, just tired. Long week.”
“Meeting again with your first love.”
Alden didn’t take the slug he was about to. He stopped, staring at his best friend.
“She told you?”
“Of course. She’s worried, Alden.” Jeremy waited for Alden to say something but he just stared at his beer. “Is she right to be worried?”
He looked up to his best friend but this time, he had tears in his eyes. Still unable to say anything, he just shook his head. Not as “no”, but as defeat. He was lost, and lost for words. Jeremy wheeled closer. “Did something happen?” He whispered.
“We kissed.”
“Alden.”
“I know, Jer. I’m—horrible. Doing this to her? I hate myself for it, I would kick my own ass if I could.”
“Look. If it was just a kiss, I’m sure she can get past it. She’ll give you hell for it though.”
Alden stayed silent again.
“Was it more than a kiss?”
“No, no! Just that. But—“
Jeremy was starting to understand.
“Parker, don’t tell me you’re questioning everything right now?”
“I’m lost, Jer. I love Y/N so much, she’s my world. But I can’t shake the feeling that— Joy reappeared for a reason. You know?”
“And that reason was her stupid ass son.”
“He’s a good kid.”
“Don’t. I’m not going to support this bullshit, Alden.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means—if you end it with Y/N to get back to Joy, you’re making the biggest mistake of your life. You’ll regret it faster than you can imagine and believe me, I’ll be right here to say “I told you so””
“Thanks for your support, friend.”
“You’re my brother and I love you, and it’s my job to tell you when you’re being the biggest idiot.”
Alden drank the rest of his beer in one swallow. Jeremy wasn’t moving. He was waiting for his best friend to come to his senses.
“Will you take care of her?” Alden asked.
“What?”
“If I— make the biggest mistake of my life. Will you take care of her?”
Jeremy only saw Alden crying twice. After the accident, and at this very moment. He seemed heartbroken and genuinely torn apart by what he was feeling. Jer wanted to shake him off, but realized there was no point.
“Yes. We will.” He reassured him.
Inside the house, you were playing on your phone with Eli. When the commercials were over, he stood up to get his dad and goddad but came back quickly without them. “Auntie. Uncle Den is crying!”
“What? Are you sure?”
He nodded so you rushed to the backyard. Eli was right. Alden was crying. You immediately kneeled down in front of him, and grabbed his face. “Alden baby, what’s wrong? What’s happening?”
He loosely wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in your neck. “I’m sorry.” He whispered. You looked at Jeremy for some answers but he avoided your eyes.
“Sorry for that? Alden, look at me. Talk to me.”
“Please forgive me.”
“Forgive you what? What do you want me to forgive you for?”
You tried to grab his face to make him look at you but he fought off and kept his head in your neck.
“Joy.” You simply said.
Alden didn’t answer but he held you tighter. As if he knew you were about to pull away from him. Jeremy was still avoiding your eyes.
“Did you sleep with her?”
You were getting angry at his avoidance. You shouted his name, so he would stop hiding in your neck and holding you so tight you couldn’t escape. “Answer the goddamn question. And fucking let go of me.”
His hold loosened a little, and his face rose up. He looked pitiful. “Did you sleep with her?” You repeated, sharper this time.
“We kissed.” He whispered, avoiding your eyes.
You didn’t react immediately, just took some sharp deep breaths. He kissed her. He kissed someone else. It was breaking your heart, but at the same time, maybe it was better than him sleeping with her like you thought. You could get over a kiss, right? You could forgive him for being lost for a moment.
“Was that all?” You asked, afraid of the answer.
He nodded, but kept avoiding your eyes.
“Fucking look at me, Alden.”
He did. Slowly. You were mad at him, hurt and felt betrayed. But you loved him beyond words, and most importantly, you didn’t want to lose him over a kiss.
“I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m lost.”
“What do you mean, you’re lost?”
Alden was nervously rubbing his hands and he looked down at his feet again. You grabbed his chin, forcing him to look you in the eyes. “Stop stalling.” You were getting angrier and angrier.
“I just–I don’t know what to say, sweetheart. I’m sorry for the kiss, for doing this to you. I hate myself for it.” He gently grabbed your hand that was still on his face and covered it with both his hands. “But I– I don’t know what I want anymore.”
You instantly took your hand off his despite the grip he had on it and you leaned back. Away from him. The tears that had been frightening to fall were now rolling down your cheeks.
“You don’t know if– you want to be with me or with her?” You sum up.
“Baby, I–”
“You’re telling me that– you’re ready to throw everything away. The past two years we’ve had together, our upcoming wedding, projects we have– for an ex, that you hadn’t seen in forty fucking years? That’s what you’re saying, Alden? You saw her only days ago, but you’re willing to risk losing me over her?” You didn’t know how you manage to say all of this despite feeling your throat closing in. You were choking up, but you needed to understand. You needed him to speak up, no matter how bad it could hurt.
“I just need some time.”
At this moment, you stood up so fast your head spinned for a second. Or maybe it was the shock of what was happening.
“Time? You need time?” You started to move like a lion in a cage, fighting off your tears as much as you could. Alden stayed seated, looking down at his shoes again. “Look at me you fucking coward.”
You knew this word would get a reaction out of him. He stood up too, grabbed your face to make you stop moving.
“I love you.” he choked up. “But I need closure.”
Those words broke your heart. You knew what it meant.
You pulled your face off his grip, looked down at your engagement ring for a moment before taking it off and putting it in his palm. “Go for it.”
You walked past Jeremy, Becky and Eli - who didn’t understand what exactly was going -, grabbed your stuff and left.
~
It’s been a week.
A week since you last saw Alden, a week since he broke your heart into thousands of pieces. A week since you walked home and trashed his greenhouse, because you couldn’t control yourself nor your pain. You knew it wasn’t a way to react, that it was impulsive, but when you got home to get some stuff, you looked around in tears. You saw pictures framed of the two. You didn’t mean to throw it on the floor at first but as you held it, you got madder at his face. His smile. You couldn’t hit him, but you could destroy that picture. From this, you completely dissociated, walked into the greenhouse and broke everything. Throwing the pots on the floor, ripping his flowers, destroying his expensive telescope. In retrospect, you’re mad at yourself for doing all of this, and even considered apologizing to him via text. But you never brought yourself to do it. Not even when he texted to check up on you or tried to call.
You considered going over to Tay’s house, but decided against it and found a hotel to stay in. You didn’t want to see anyone, face anyone. You couldn’t face reality. For an entire week, you stayed in, barely ate, only texted Tay and Jeremy to let them know that you were indeed alive. But that was it.
Alden has been miserable through the entire week. Barely slept or ate, he wasn’t even bringing pastries to his team anymore. He met with Joy a couple of times but it didn’t feel right. He didn’t push her away when she kissed him, but stopped her when she wanted more. She said she understood it wasn’t easy for him, that she’d give him time to process the breakup, but the next minute, she was all over him. This wasn’t going the way he imagined. He was more lost than a week prior, because living without you felt impossible. He knew he couldn’t have it both ways, that he needed to make up his mind and stick to it. But all he’s been wanting to do was seeing you and holding you.
He remembers coming home after that night at Jeremy’s and finding the pictures framed all over the floor and the greenhouse completely trashed. He deserved it. He spent hours cleaning, saving what could be saved. He tried to repair his telescope, even asked Tim for some help but his younger coworker told him he may as well buy a new one.
The team was worried about their leader and they were thinking about interfering. They didn’t know exactly what had happened, but they were investigators so they figured out the big lines.
“No pastries today?” Nick asked Jess and Tim as he walked into the bullpen. He saw Parker’s coat on the back of his chair so he knew the senior agent was already in.
“Nope. And he’s in a mood.”
“Did you find his fiancée?” He asked Tim.
“I didn’t like doing it, but yeah, she registered in a hotel last weekend. Been there since.”
“So they are officially broken up?” Jess joined.
“Looks like it.”
“Boy, I hope he’s not seeing this Joy woman.”
Of course, this was the sentence Alden heard as he came back from accounting. “Gossiping about my love life? Seriously, don’t you have anything better to do?”
“We’re just worried about you, Parker.” Nick told him.
“I don’t need you to worry about me! I don’t need you to figure out where Y/N cause I already know! And I most definitely don’t need you to do something about it! Are we clear?”
“Yes, sir.” They all agreed.
He stayed a long time at the office after everyone was gone. He didn’t want to go home to an empty apartment. It still smelled too much like you, your presence was overwhelming as all your stuff was still there. Not that he wanted you to come get them.
It was the middle of the night when he got back to the apartment. And when he heard noises coming from the bedroom, he immediately reached for his gun and slowly walked towards the noises. “Federal Agent!” He called out. “Come out with your hands in the air!”
As he was about to reach the door, it opened to you. You were completely unbothered by his gun pointing at you, just walked past him to go to the bathroom. But you were stopped by his hand grabbing your wrist. He whispered your name, shocked to see you here. “Wh–What are you doing here? How are you?”
“I live here.” You just answered. “You want me gone? Then throw me out.” You tried to keep walking to the bathroom but Alden didn’t let go of your hand.
“No, no! I don’t want you gone! I–I’m not throwing you out. Wasn’t in the first place. I’m just–I didn’t expect to see you here. You’ve been ghosting me.”
“Oh and that surprised you?”
“I guess not, I just– I didn’t want things to happen the way it did.”
“Look Alden, I’m about to pee myself here. So let me tell you why I’m here. I’m not going to make this easy on you. You want to see her? Fine. But you’re not doing it here. You’re stuck between me and her? Too bad, I’m not leaving my spot. Also, you’re making all the calls for the wedding. You’ll call the guests, the caterer, the venue, the minister and tell them you’re canceling it. You should deal with the consequences and I’ll make sure that you do.”
You pulled your hand away and he let go. You really needed to pee. And when you got out of the bathroom, he was still there. Leaning against the wall, jacket off and gun pulled away. He looked miserable. But it was all his fault.
“I’m not seeing her.” He informed you. “I just said I needed time.”
“So what? I should’ve stayed here, and waited until you may or may break up with me? Sit here and wonder if you’re coming home late because you’re with her?”
“Isn’t that what's gonna happen now that you’re here?”
You let a humorless laugh. “You didn’t get it. I’m here because this is my home. My name is on the lease, I pay half of the rent, my whole life is in here. I’m not giving that up, whether or not we’re broken up. And if that causes you trouble, then perfect.”
“So, we’re like what? Roommates?”
“If you want to put a label on it. You ruined my heart, Alden and I’m letting you ruin my whole life.”
“I never asked you to leave, Y/N!” His voice rose up, as he was getting angry. “I never wanted you out of my life! I didn’t even want to cancel the wedding, okay? All I needed was to figure things out!”
“But it wasn’t figuring out what suit you’re going to wear! It’s figuring out if you want to be with me or with her! Do you honestly think I would marry someone if I’m wondering if he really wants me?”
“Wait–” he stayed silent for a second, taking a deep breath. “Are you saying that–if I tell you I still want to marry you in two months, you wouldn’t want to?”
“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if you’re still thinking about her.” You didn’t know why but your voice got softer at this moment.
His eyes started to watered. “I kinda feel like you’re actually breaking up with me, right now.”
You silently cried for a moment. “You broke my heart, Alden.” you whispered. “I felt betrayed and rejected, like I’ve felt my entire life until I met you.”
Alden fell down against the wall until his butt hit the floor. He was silently crying, hating myself even more. “Then–Why are you here?” He struggled to ask.
You kneeled in front of him. “Because I’m pregnant.”
Alden’s brain froze for a very long moment. Did he hear you right? or was he hallucinating? Was it a dream? Were you really pregnant? With his baby? He stared a blind spot for several minutes, but finally looked back at you. He wanted to smile. Despite the horrible circumstances, despite how you got to this point. You were pregnant. You were carrying his baby. Silently, he extended his arms, tentatively trying to touch your stomach. But you stopped him. “Don’t just yet.” It hurt you more than you could’ve imagined to say those following words, “I’m considering abortion.”
His brain froze again for a moment.
“Wait, what? No!” He got on his knees. “Princess! No. I know it’s your body, but I probably shouldn’t be doing this but please, let’s talk about this. You’re pregnant.” More tears fell down his cheeks, but it wasn’t sadness. “You’re carrying our baby.”
“Alden—“ you choked up. “Don’t make this harder than it already is, please.”
“I can’t let you have abortion without talking it through. I can’t.”
“I said I was considering it.” This time, he managed to hear his hands on your stomach and you didn’t pull away. You were ugly crying by now. “That’s not how I imagined this would go. It should’ve been the most amazing news of our lives, but now—it feels wrong.”
“Wrong? That’s the furthest thing from wrong.” He gently held your face. “It’s far from ideal, it’s—messy if you want to put it that way. But we can figure it out. We can make it work, one way or another.”
“I don’t want to do the coparenting thing, Den. I want to raise my baby with its father, my husband.”
“And I want to kiss you right now.” He whispered.
“Please don’t. Don’t choose me because I’m pregnant. I could never be happy with that.”
“I understand. Really, I get it.” Silence filled the room again, except for sniffing and deep breaths coming from both you and Alden. “How about we get up now and sleep on it? You can take the master bedroom.”
You followed his lead and stood up. “Did you really think I’d sleep in the guest room?”
He chuckled softly. “Of course not. I just need my shorts and phone charger.”
Neither of you slept.
You didn’t want to tell him about the pregnancy just yet, nor like that. You wanted to wait a little and see how things were, see if being around him could help you make a decision. But he knows now, and it may have been easier if he said he didn’t want this baby.
But Alden wanted this baby. He’s never been this close to being a dad. No woman has ever been pregnant with his baby. And the fact that it’s you—he wants to erase those past two weeks. Erase his doubts, erase his behavior, erase the hurt and pain he caused you. He never doubted his love for you, though. He knows what happened in his mind, he’s known before tonight. Maybe he should just face it and admit it to you.
You woke up in the morning to the smell of food. Your favorite breakfast food and it both made you hungry and nauseous. You rushed to the bathroom as soon as your eyes opened, and Alden immediately joined you as he saw you running. He kneeled down next to you, holding your hair as your morning sickness hit. He gently rubbed your back. Once you were done, you sat on the floor against the wall. “I’ll get you water.”
“No. Give me my toothbrush first.”
He stood up, grabbed your toothbrush that you left there (you only packed a few clothes the week prior and bought the rest), added some toothpaste on it and handed it to you. You brushed your teeth while staying on the floor.
“Do you want me to carry you to the couch?”
“I’m pregnant, Alden, not invalide.”
You walked to the kitchen with your baby daddy on your toes.
“I cooked but I don’t know if you’re gonna be able to eat. Or maybe you want something else? Any cravings?”
You sat at the kitchen island and buried your face in your hands. “Alden, stop. Don’t act like your usual loving and caring self.”
“Ooookay. What am I supposed to do then?”
“I don’t know.”
He put a big glass of water in front of you and sat on the stool next to yours. He made you spin so you were facing each other. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
You took a deep breath, “I’m listening.”
“I always knew I’d come back to you.”
“What?”
“I needed closure with Joy. Subconsciously, I was hoping you’d let me—“
“Do your thing with her and wait patiently until you come back?”
He sighed. “It’s horrible, I know. It was selfish and wrong, and just plainly— jerk behavior.”
“I’d say asshole. Dumbass. Dickhead.”
He sadly chuckled. “Whatever word you want to use, they are all valid.”
“Basically, you wanted me to give you a pass on this.”
“Something like that, yeah.”
“When did you reach that conclusion?”
“A few days ago. I ran into Max and his mom, and poor little guy was so upset at us—“
“Oh my god! His game!”
“Yeah. We missed it. And I tried to explain to him that we had some issues, and after he stopped pouting, he actually listened. I told him I’ve had a problem in the greenhouse and that I’d loved his help to get it back the way it was. And I guess from what I told him, he understood that you were temporarily away. And he told me, “We have to make the apartment spot clean for when Y/N comes back.” From there, my mind—“
Alden watched you as you stood up and went to get something from the closet. Then you walked towards the front door with a gift in your hands. “Where are you going?”
“Apologize!”
He didn’t move until you came back, which wasn’t long after and the gift was still in your hands. “They are not home, I’ll try again later.”
“He’s not mad at us, I made sure of it.”
“I know, but we promised we’d be there. And we didn’t show up, he probably felt so sad.”
Your emotions overwhelmed you and you started to cry there, sitting on the couch. Alden sat next to you, hesitating for a moment before hugging you. You didn’t push him away. “He still loves us.” He assured you.
“I still love you but it doesn’t make it okay.”
You regretted saying it as soon as it left your mouth, but Alden uncontrollably smiled. Silver lighting.
You let Alden hold you for a moment, because it felt nice on some levels. You still couldn’t believe what he put you through though. “We were doing so good.” You whispered.
“I know. I’m not even sure I understand myself.”
You stayed silent once more.
“So, you didn’t—sleep with her?”
“No.”
“Well—maybe you should.”
“Wait, what?” Alden shifted, clearly taken off guard. He gently grabbed your chin to make you face him. “Are you seriously telling me to sleep with someone else?”
“Yes.” You said with eyes full of tears. “Maybe that way you can totally put it behind you.”
“That’s—crazy. Absolutely crazy.” He moved down to his knees. “I couldn’t go that far, princess. I did see her and we—made out, if we can call it that. But it felt wrong, so wrong. I wasn’t kissing the right person. When she was touching me, I kept thinking that only you can touch me. Only you know how to touch me. My entire world felt out of place. I think the sixteen years old in me wanted it, but fuck I’m not sixteen anymore. I’m a stupid old man, who’s so in love with a woman too young for him. A woman who definitely deserves better, because she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I failed her.” He held your face in his big soft hands, and pressed his forehead against yours. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you let me.” He kissed your nose. “I’ll make sure our little one knows how precious their mama is and that we are the luckiest.” You were both crying. “Please.” He added.
“You know those Moroccan pastries we had in a little shop in New York?”
“Sure. Kaab al ghzal.” He said in his best accent possible.
“I’m craving them.”
He chuckled softly. “Then I guess I’m going to New York.”
“Actually, I, um—there’s this new musical on Broadway—“
“Then I guess we are going to New York.”
“Two different bedrooms, Alden. Connecting at best.”
“I can deal with that. What else?”
“Your treat.”
“Obviously. That it?”
“You leave your phone here.”
Dilemma. He wouldn’t do it in a heartbeat if it wasn’t for his work. He’s technically off for the weekend, but being a Federal Agent comes with a lot of inconvenience, and being called at any time any day is one of them. But he saw in your eyes how serious you were. It wasn’t about his work, which is something you’ve always understood and were mostly okay with. It was about him showing you he meant every word he said.
Summary: Alden Parker reconnects with his first love and it gets him all confused
Pairing: Alden Parker x Fem!Reader
Words count: 5k
Warnings: age gap relationship
Part 2 coming soon!
You didn’t want a big wedding, and neither did your fiancé Alden Parker. Both you and Alden had been married already. His, to Vivian, had been a huge deal; he let her and his mom take care of it, and it ended with a big ass wedding. You, on the other hand, eloped when you were pretty young.
Alden didn’t imagine he’d get married again. But he also never imagined he’d meet someone like you. Someone who makes him the happiest he’s ever been, someone who makes his life easier, someone who loves him unconditionally. He didn’t even plan the proposal. One day, he cheated death at work and all he could think of was you. All the things he wanted to tell you, everything he wanted to do with you, how he didn’t want to die just for the sole purpose to see your pretty face everyday. So, when he came home that day, he asked you to marry him.
You said yes. Alden knew you would, because you never hid the fact that you would like to someday. Your first marriage was a spur of the moment decision that didn’t last. In your mind, it barely felt like a marriage. And you wanted another try.
Especially with this man.
Not wanting a big wedding didn’t mean you’d elope, or wouldn’t prepare something.
You had found a small but beautiful venue already, there were less than fifty people invited - mostly family members and closest friends. No need to invite people you never see, right? The next decision was the caterer. You planned a meeting, making it at the most likely hour Alden would be free. You texted your fiancé to remind him about it. His answer was, ‘Why do you think I skipped lunch?’
You didn’t hear about him again though. At the meeting, you asked the caterer to wait just a little, saying that your fiancé should be here soon. After thirty minutes and unanswered texts, you decided to call Alden. Luckily, he picked up.
“Alden, where are you? We’ve been waiting for you for thirty minutes!”
“I’m sorry baby, we got called on a case. I’m outside of town, I won’t be able to make it. I’m truly sorry, can we reschedule?”
“I don’t know. I’ll see, but couldn’t you have given me a heads up earlier?”
“You know I can never stay mad at you, but don’t do it again, please. Do I still try their food?”
“Yes! Do like a pre-selection, and we’ll both come back for the final decision. That works?”
“I guess. How bad is your case?”
“It’s more—weird than bad. I’ll explain to you when I get home.”
“Alright, be safe Special Alden.”
He chuckled at this nickname you’ve been giving him for a while now. He loves it. “I love you, princess. I’m sorry, again.”
“I know, love you too.”
As said, you made a pre-selection on food and cake. The caterer was very nice and offered to take some samples home for Alden to try. Your fiancé, on the other hand, was having a bad idea after finding out that his identity had been stolen and it involved a murder. It was late when he showed up at Kasie’s lab, hoping she found out who stole his name, and everything that comes with it.
“Give me some good news, Kas. Please!”
“I wish, but I don’t have a name yet. What I can tell you is that whoever it is, they know a lot about you and you need to change all of your passwords.”
“Yeah, I worked on the most important things already and I’ll do the rest once I get home.”
Kasie grinned while Alden looked at her, confused. She tapped on her keyboard and a picture showed up on her screen. A picture of you and Alden.
“Home to your fiancé?”
Alden chuckled and stared at the picture. It was a selfie you took during birdwatching. You were both bundled up because it was during winter. Alden was wearing your beanie he’s been refusing to give back, his arm is around your shoulders and he’s kissing your cheek while you’re smiling at the camera.
“Do the others know?”
“Not yet. But why are you hiding her from us?”
“Kasie, come on. Don’t tell me that when you saw the picture, you didn’t think that I was too old for her.”
“I honestly didn’t. I mean, do I see the age difference? Yes. But it doesn’t shock me or anything. You two look super cute together!”
“All on her. But don’t worry, y’all have seats at our wedding, I’m just waiting for the right time to bring it up.”
“I can’t wait! Congratulations,” Kasie goes in for a hug, Alden freezes, as he’s not used to that kind of attention at work, for just a second before returning the embrace.
“Thank you, Kas. Does she need to change all her passwords and everything?”
“Doesn’t look like they were interested in her, but better be safe than sorry.”
“Alright. I’m gonna get home to my girl and explain to her why I missed the caterer appointment.”
And he did just that. When he got home, he found you in the greenhouse, curled up on the couch with a book, and some music playing. “Evening my love,” you greeted him with a soft smile and he immediately crashed on the couch with you, his head finding its way on your lap. You put your book down, and started playing with his hair. “Tell me.”
“Well, we had a murder victim in a cheap motel, and the room was rented—by me.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, I got my identity stolen.” He rose up from your lap, kissing you softly. “Spent the rest of my day resetting pretty much everything. You can cut the credit card you have from my bank account, my phone password is now the six first digits of your social, and you probably should change all your passwords too, just in case.” He kissed you again, “so yeah, that was my day.”
“I’m so sorry, baby. Do you know who did this?” It was so insane you couldn’t figure out what to say more.
“Not yet, but I will. How did the appointment go?”
“Wait right here”
You stood and went to get all the food in the kitchen. You settled everything on the coffee table in the greenhouse, separated in three groups: fav, need something different, not your thing. You offered Alden to dig in while he told you more about his awful day. And he had a lot to say, because he was infuriated.
“How could this happen? I protect everything, use probably more safety softwares than anyone,”
“Tell me about it.” You rolled your eyes, and it earned the reaction you were hoping for as he playfully threw his napkin to you. Ever since you’ve been dating Alden, you learned more about technology than you’d ever cared for. He scolded you more times than you could count because you’re not being safe enough online.
“I just don’t understand. Who and why? And how is it related to our murder case? By the way, this is good!”
“Salmon toast.” You informed him. “And I know you’ll answer those questions very quickly. I just hope you’re not in danger.”
“No, princess, don’t worry. Can we move on to the cakes now?”
You went to the kitchen again to get the two cake samples you came home with. “I’ll let you figure out which one is my fav.” You put the pieces in front of him, and kissed him. You’re barely back on the couch that he’s pointing at one of them.
“That’s your fav.”
You sighed and giggled. “We don’t have any secrets left from each other, do we?”
He grabbed your fav, and started tasting it. “By the way, did he make you pay for taking all of this home?”
“Um, no. I suppose it’ll be on the check after the wedding.”
He fed you some cake.
“But what if we don’t choose him?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was a commercial gesture. So, what do you think?”
“I think he was hitting on you.”
You laughed at that.
“Den. I was there for our wedding. That’d be bold of him.”
“Doesn’t stop some men, nor brides. And he saw that your fiancé stood you up. I’m sure he was very comforting about that.”
“Actually, he—was. But he didn’t hit on me!”
“Sure, princess. Sure.” He put the plate down and grabbed the other piece of cake. The man can eat, especially when it’s something sweet.
“Alden, I’m serious!” You’re uncontrollably giggling. He wasn’t upset or anything. People hitting on you or flirting with you has been a part of his life, even when he’s right there. But he trusts you with all his heart. Whether that guy was hitting on you, whether he was a hot dude or not, Alden knew you only saw the caterer in him. And that’s something that makes him love you even more.
“Then, tell me he didn’t give you his phone number.”
“His phone number is his business number, I already had it. HA.”
He chuckled with his mouth full, seeing how proud you were to prove him wrong.
“Okay, point for you. I guess we’ll see at the next appointment.”
“If you show up.”
“Hey, that’s very uncalled for!”
“Yeah well, you deserved it.” You kissed his cheek briefly but Alden had other plans. He put the second plate down before grabbing you by the waist to bring you onto his lap. He held your face, stroking your cheeks with his thumb, “How did I get this lucky?” He whispered before leaning in for a kiss that you happily and eagerly welcomed.
It quickly turned into a make out session that just as quickly turned into passionate sex in the greenhouse. Once you both caught your breath and found your strength back, Alden carried you to the bathroom where you showered together.
Alden always wakes up earlier than you, but the next day, he woke up extremely early. This identity thief thing is driving him crazy and he needs to figure it out the fastest possible. He tried to get ready as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake you up. He made himself a coffee that he drank quickly, left a note on the kitchen island, and went to give you a forehead kiss before leaving for the office. “Be safe, Special Alden.” you sleepily told him. He cursed under his breath for waking you up.
“Always. You’re stuck with me forever.”
“Who’s gonna bring the news to my boyfriend?”
“It’s 6am, you can’t joke at 6am while your eyes aren’t even open.”
“That’s my superpower.”
Eyes still closed, you found his collar and pulled him into you. His lips found yours.
“Baby, I gotta get to work.”
“It’s 6am, you said so!”
“And there’s someone out there who stole my identity.”
Your eyes were now opened as you tried to unbutton his shirt, but Alden immediately grabbed your hands to make you stop.
“Please, it was hard enough to get out of this bed.” He was literally giving you puppy eyes.
“Fine.” you pecked him, “Leave now.” You completely let go of him, he kissed you one more time before rushing out of the apartment, shouting his love for you on his way.
Alden and the team figured out who stole his identity during the day. And he immediately figured out how this guy did it. Ryan is Alden’s first love’s son, his mother probably told him about young Alden Parker. But that wasn’t the worst part of this, because Ryan was actually their suspect for the murder. And he had to go see a woman he hasn’t seen in over 40 years to tell her that.
This day wasn’t going like he had planned.
He was a nervous wreck on the way to Joy’s house. He knew what she looked like thanks to the internet, but he had no idea what her reaction would be, especially since he wasn’t coming with good news. He’s not a dad, but he can imagine what a parent would feel at that moment.
He definitely did not expect to get sucker punched in the stomach though. Did he deserve that?
Over the conversation, he finally understood what had happened all those years ago. Why Joy’s parents decided to move away one day - he was the reason -, why she never wrote back to him even though she kept every one of his letters - that Ryan stole and used to steal Alden’s identity.
The case was far from over and he couldn’t dwell on all of this and more. But he knew he’d come back, without Tim to listen.
The ride back to the office was pretty silent.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Tim kindly offered.
“Not really. I need time to process.”
“Fair enough. You uncovered a lot and I’m sure there’s more.”
Alden grabbed his phone and realized you sent him a text over an hour ago. The kind of texts you send him everyday when he’s at work, to let him know that you’re thinking of him.
‘Love you, Superman. I may have some company when you get home tonight, please don’t be jealous. Take some time to breathe and stay hydrated (coffee doesn’t do the trick).’
‘Not jealous, but who’s the company? Also, coffee is made with…water. I love you.’
‘My boyfriend I told you about this morning. My sweet Max.’
He chuckled when reading your text. Max is your neighbor’s eight years old son, whom you and/or Alden babysit sometimes. The neighbor is a single mom who works two jobs to give the best life possible to her son, and the father has never been seen nor heard of.
‘The only other guy you can have in your life. Is he sleeping over?’
‘You’re too restrictive. Unsure yet.’
“You good, Parker?”
“Uh? Yeah yeah, sorry it’s my fiancé, just being herself.”
“Fiancé???”
“So— Kasie can keep a secret.”
Alden spent the rest of the ride telling Tim about you, your relationship, the wedding and why he kept it a secret until now.
“Are you going to tell her about Joy?” McGee asked as they were walking from the parking lot to the office.
“Yes. No reason I keep that to myself, right?”
Right?
An hour after you got home from work, your neighbor dropped off her son. Little Max immediately hugged you, clearly happy to spend time with you. His mom thanked you again for babysitting him, and it turned out he’s spending the night and you’d drop him off at school in the morning. When Max first appears, you directly saw that he was carrying his avocado plant, which was growing. And when his mom left, he rushed to the greenhouse, putting his plant to its designated place. “You’re taking such good care of it, Alden’s gonna be very happy.”
“Thank you. Is he coming home soon?”
“I hope so, I’ll text him.”
“Can I water the plants?”
“How about we wait for him to do it? We wouldn’t want to overfeed them, right?”
“You’re right! Can we play a game?”
“Sure, you know where they are.”
He rushed again but this time to the closet where the board games are. You took this opportunity to text Alden.
‘Max has been here for less than 5min and he’s already asking for you. Coming home soon? ❤️’
Little boy came back with a game and you two settled in the greenhouse to play. During the game, he told you about school, his friends, what he’s been up to like you hadn’t seen each other for months, even though you babysat him the previous week. He reminded you about his big soccer game on Saturday, asking again if you and Alden would be here.
“Of course we will be here, cutie. Gotta support our champ!”
He smiled big, extremely proud.
‘Just wrapping up, do I grab McDonalds on my way? Secret tho.’
‘Do you remember our orders?’
‘Yes, my chicken lovers.’
“Is it Den texting you?”
“Yes, he’ll be home soon.”
“Cool!”
As soon as Max heard the door opening and closing, he ran to meet Alden. You giggled and joined them, to see Max hanging onto your fiancé like a koala hanging onto a tree. Your heart melted instantly, just like every time you see them together. You grabbed the McDonalds bag from Alden’s hands and he properly hugged the little boy. “I’m happy to see you, buddy.”
When his little feet touched the floor, he grabbed Alden’s hand. “Come see my avocado plant!”
“Just a sec, bud.”
Of course he needed to put his weapon in the secure box. “Can I kiss my fiancée?”
“Yes but quick!”
Smiling, he approached to give you a kiss. “Hey you.”
“Hello handsome.”
He joined Max in the greenhouse, to look at the plant. You snapped a picture behind their backs. “You’re doing good, Max.” He praised him and the little boy was very proud.
“Can we water the plants now?”
“Food first,” you called out. “Unless you want to eat cold nuggets.”
The three of you ate, as Max did the same resume to Alden he did to you. You listened to them, looked at them, and thought about how you’d love to have your own baby with Alden. Your mini Alden Parker. And your fiancé caught your eyes, probably reading your mind.
After dinner, they finally water the plants. Then you all played a quick game, and settled in front of a short movie. Max was between you and Alden, enjoying some cuddles. You know that it was past his bedtime when Max got into bed, but your time with him is so limited, you and Alden want to enjoy as much as you can.
Your man was finally able to take his long awaited shower, and found you waiting for him on the bed.
“You know you can take your shirt off when you’re in our room, right?” You teased him. Once he showers, Alden only has some loose shorts on, bare chested. But when Max is over, he makes sure to have a shirt on. Just like you make sure to wear appropriate clothes too.
“If I take my shirt off, you’re gonna jump on me.” He climbs into bed with you, covering your body with his.
“You make it sound like I can’t control myself.”
“You can’t control yourself. But I love that about you.”
He kisses you softly, before resting his head in your neck.
“You never had it this good, did you?”
He chuckles and you can hear it in your entire body. “Never.”
You laid down silently like this for a moment.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Okay, sounds serious. Tell me.”
He moved away to lay down next to you, facing each other. And he started to tell you about his day. Figuring out who stole his identity, and then that this guy was his first love’s son.
Alden had told you about Joy once. You were still getting to know each other, and talking about past relationships. He didn’t really go into details as he didn’t know what went wrong back then. But now he knows.
“So, you saw her today? For the first time in what—over forty years?”
“Yup.” He breathed out.
“And— what did that make you feel?”
“I—“ he thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I mean, it was—weird. I didn’t expect to see her again, and definitely not in those circumstances.”
“I bet. Since you haven’t found her son yet, you’ll probably see her again?”
“Very plausible, yes.”
You stroked his beard, “Do I need to worry?” You genuinely asked.
“What? Baby, no!” He grabbed your hand and kissed your palm softly. “I love you, and it’s not changing, believe me. Yes, it’s disturbing to see her again, but you have nothing to worry about.” He looked so sincere, you couldn’t doubt him. He leaned in to kiss you softly. You wanted more, but neither of you are comfortable with having sex when Max is sleeping over. So you settled for cuddles.
In the morning, you and Alden woke up at the same time to prepare Max a healthy breakfast before waking him up. It took him a long moment to actually wake up. “Next time, no movie.” Alden whispered to you as you were both looking at Max practically sleeping above his pancakes.
“We say that every time.”
“True. Wakey wakey, Max!”
The little boy was straddled. “Do you want me or Alden to take you to school?”
“Both of you!”
You looked at Alden. “Can you drop me off at work?”
“Sure but we don’t take off at the same time.” He answered.
“There’s something called Uber. Very good creation.”
“What’s Uber?” Max asked.
You and Alden never carpool as his schedule is too random. It was nice to do it that morning, with Max in the backseat. Sweet boy made sure to kiss both of you before leaving the car to go into school. “I love you!” He said right before closing the door. You both spent a long time staring at each other in disbelief that the car behind honked.
“Did he mean it?” Alden asked as he drove off.
“Kids don’t say things like that if they don’t mean it.”
“He never said it before, right?”
“Nope. But it’s okay. I mean, he sees us a lot, he hears us saying it to each other, he likes being with us. We’re like his fav aunt and uncle.”
“Alright. I guess it makes sense.”
“We shouldn’t be overthinking this.”
But you spent the day thinking about two things only: Max’s “I love you”, and Alden probably seeing his ex again. You were clearly overthinking.
Alden didn’t really want to see Joy again. Mostly because he didn’t want to feel things he wasn’t supposed to feel. It’s never easy to see your first love, but it’s worse when you never had closure. It stopped so abruptly. One day, she was his whole world and the next one, she was gone and never heard of again until now. Her departure was the reason he turned his life around, stopped being the juvie he was from a young age. But it wasn’t about the departure per se. He changed for her, he would’ve anyways. He wanted to be a better man for Joy, being worth her love. At 16, he already imagined marrying her, spending his entire life with her. Sixteen years old Alden Parker considered Joy Sullivan to be the love of his life.
And he was never able to shake that feeling away.
But the case took him back to her house. He needed her help to find Ryan, and it turned out he was right there, hiding at his mother’s house. Alden was upset that she started to lie, but could he really hold it against her? She did what every mother would’ve done. As he was driving back to the headquarters with Joy in the passenger seat and Ryan in the back, his mind shifted off to Max. He loves this boy very much, and he would adopt him on the spot if he could. He knows you’d too. And you’d probably do exactly what Joy did to protect that little guy.
“Park, are you listening to me?”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“You’re gonna do everything to help my kid, right? He’s very stupid and did some bad stuff, but he’s not a murderer.”
“Joy—“
“Please, Park.”
Not many people call him Park anymore. You hated that nickname from the beginning. ‘Why don’t they call you Parking Lot while they are at it?’ You told him, making him laugh. And at NCIS, he’s either Alden or Parker. Which he preferes.
When he felt Joy’s hand on his arm, he almost jumped off his seat while driving. Physical contact cannot be added. He looked briefly at her and realized she needed to be reassured. “I’ll do my best.” He told her. She didn’t take her hand away immediately, but instead squeezed his biceps. He can’t tell you that or it’d drive you crazy.
You texted Alden a couple of times throughout the day. The first one received a brief answer while the second remained unanswered. After work, you ran some errands for the wedding, scheduled another appointment with the caterer, got a little something for Max to give him after his game on Saturday, and got some groceries. You spent some time on the phone with your best friend to schedule your wedding dress shopping, even though you knew exactly what you wanted. She’s insisting on throwing you a bachelorette party but you keep fighting her off. As you were cooking, you called Alden’s best friend Jeremy to know when he’ll be free to go with Alden to try on wedding suits.
“Sweetie, I hope Parker is not letting you organize everything by yourself?”
“He’s been quite busy with work lately, but it’s okay. I enjoy doing it.”
“Alright. Is Eli still the ring bearer?”
“With Max.” You reminded him.
“Hey I’m good with it, it’s Eli who’s not happy to share the spotlight.”
“Tell him no one is stealing his godfather away.”
“Sure will. Have you heard about his sister?”
“The Admiral who thinks this wedding is a joke? Of course not.”
“More food for us, right?”
“I honestly don’t care but I know it’ll hurt Den if she doesn’t show up.”
“But he’ll be married to the love of his life, and that’s the most important.”
“Yeah I guess.”
“Uh oh. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Sweetie, please.”
Not a lot of people know Alden the way Jeremy knows him. If someone could reassure you, that’d be him. So you told him about Alden’s latest case and Joy. Jeremy didn’t hesitate a second before being reassuring, telling you how much Alden loves you.
“He loves you so much he’s marrying you. And believe me, that was not in his plans.”
“I know— Can I ask you something, Jer?”
“Sure.”
“Has he ever talked about kids to you?”
“You mean having kids with you?”
“Yes.”
“Briefly. He does think he’s too old to have kids now. But—I feel like it wouldn’t take much work to convince him. He always wanted to be a dad.”
“He’d make a wonderful dad.”
“And you’d make an amazing mama.”
“Thank you, Jer. I’m sorry for bothering you.”
“None of that! We’re family.”
When you hung up, you cried because of those last words. You didn’t have a family of your own anymore so it meant the world to have a chosen family now, that you have thanks to one man only.
You were already in bed when Alden got home. It can happen, nothing new there, but that night felt different because you couldn’t help but to wonder if it was because of her. You quickly turned off your night light, put your phone down and pretended to sleep. You heard Alden slowly entering the bedroom, probably to check on you. He took off some of his clothes and circled the bed to be on your side. He pushed hair off your face and gently kissed your forehead. His lips lingered on your skin, and you couldn’t pretend any longer. “Welcome home.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“I wasn’t in deep sleep, it’s okay. You got home late.”
“I know. Case may involve some spies, it’s—shitty. How was your day?”
“How about you go take your shower and join me? There’s some food in the fridge if you want.”
“Be back in 5.”
He kissed your forehead again and was off to the bathroom. You watched the time and it was more than fifteen minutes long. You hate reading into the little things like this, but you can’t shake that gut feeling.
Alden finally crawled under the sheets, and spooned you, kissing your shoulder. His arms trapped you and you loved every second of it. You softly kissed his left hand. “I can’t wait til there’s a ring there.”
“Two months.”
“Yup. And you’re going to try on suits next weekend with Jer.”
“Alright. Did you check with him?”
“Of course. Also, Tay is insisting on throwing me a bachelorette party, but I think there’s no point, cause I don’t have enough women in my life to make it an actual party—“
“I’m sure Kasie, Jess and Delilah would love to be a part of it.”
You forced your way out of his arms so you could turn around to face him. “Do they finally know?”
“I told you I’d tell them before the wedding.”
“Well yes, but why now? During—this case?”
“It has nothing to do with Joy. Kasie figured it out when she worked on finding out how and who stole my identity. Just made sense to tell everyone else.”
Smiling big, you grabbed his sweet face and kissed him. You’ve been wanting him to tell his team from the beginning but didn’t want to pressure him as you knew why he wasn’t telling them. It didn’t go well when his coworkers at the FBI found out he was dating someone 20 years younger than him.
“So, can I meet them?”
He chuckled. “Yes, we’ll organize something after the case. Okay?”
You kissed him more, and more intensely. You didn’t have sex yesterday, and that was one day too much. Alden answered your kisses but when he felt your hands traveling south, he stopped. “Baby, I’m exhausted.”
“Oh, okay. Sure.”
Alden turned you down a few times in the past, just like you turned him down too. You never thought of it twice, nor were disappointed about it, sometimes you’re not in the mood and that’s okay. But it was different that night. Was he really exhausted or was it because of her? You tried to hide your overthinking, and laid back down.
“I love you.” You whispered.
“Me too.”
He cuddled you for a few minutes, before turning to his side. Leaving you with so many questions you only fell asleep around 4am. When your alarm went off, you grabbed your phone and were ready to throw it across the room. But the bed felt cold. You moved your legs around…empty. You listened and the apartment was silent. You went to the kitchen and found a note where it always is.
‘Early morning. Have a nice day, princess. Love you.’
Did you not feel his usual forehead kiss or did he not give it?
The case was solved during the day. Ryan was indeed innocent, as his girlfriend was killed by Russian spies. Alden was very happy to put this one to rest, even though he knew it wasn’t solving what was going on through his mind. It just kept getting worse.
part ›› 2/3 [ parker's stalker series | part one ]
summary ›› your wedding is only a few weeks away and the little bean in your tummy is growing healthily. everything would be wonderful, if it weren't for parker's stalker.
tags ›› established relationship; may december romance; stalker with a crush; fluff; female reader
warnings ›› implied age gap; stalking; death threats; angst; pregnancy; mention of miscarriage; english is not my mother tongue
word count ›› 3.154 words
🖋 Uhm–did I mention that I love writing multiple chapter fics? No? Well, probably because I don't, lol. At first it should've been a oneshot, then a two-parter and now it's going to have three parts. That's what you get, when you don't plan things. Maybe it'll even get four parts, who knows? I definitely don't. At least, you didn't have to wait nine months for this baby. Bad pun definitely intended. This part is angstier (is that even a word?) than the last one, thank Jane Doe for that and if risky pregnancies and just the mention of a possible miscarriage triggers you, you may proceed with caution or not proceed at all. Also, I'm really not satisfied with this part, like really, really not and hopefully will be happier writing the following one. But I figured, if I'd delete one more draft of this (deleted around 15k words), I would never update this fic, at all.
So, without further ado,
hope you'll still enjoy! ♥
Almost three months had passed since you had announced the pregnancy to Parker and finally, after eleven weeks, you were able to get up this morning for the first time without having to throw up. Despite the fact your future husband was always at your side whenever he was home, you were overcome with euphoria when you realized that this time it was only your bladder that wanted to be emptied. Also the aspect that the fourth prenatal examination did not cause any concern contributed to your good mood, regardless the present circumstances.
Thanks to your future husband's secret admirer, the first trimester had been more stressful than usual for you, which is why your pregnancy was considered a risk and you needed to be even more careful to avoid stressful situations. That wasn't exactly easy with the attention the stalker was giving not only to Parker, but also to you and your unborn baby. Still, you weren't going to let that dampen your spirits and you were glad when your future father-in-law invited you out for a walk after he had already accompanied you to the doctor's appointment.
"It's really sweet of you to join me today", you said as the two of you took a seat on a bench in the shade of a tree, while you were on your walk through the city park. Your belly barely revealed that you were already sixteen weeks pregnant, nonetheless you were glad for every moment you had the opportunity to sit down. Unlike every other part of your body, your breasts had gained significant weight and your back was more than willing to let you feel it every step you took. Parker didn't complain about this side effect, why would he, but you were unable to share his delight due to the pain and growing sensitivity.
Roman gave you a warm smile before he said: "Of course I'm here for you if my son can't seem to find a single day to fully support you and my unborn grandchild during this time."
A smirk settled on your lips. "I suppose you mean that I'm lucky he's not somewhere overseas, and thus assuring that I see him almost everyday instead of only once in a few months", you countered, aware of how much it still bothered Roman that his son was the only one in the family never to join the Navy. It was a privilege that you could see him most days, even if it were sometimes just for a couple of hours or only a few minutes. You knew what you've gotten yourself into, when you decided to date a federal agent.
You earned a laugh from Roman for your statement, which sounded more like a snort. "Alright. There may be an advantage he became a fed instead of following his family's footsteps like anyone else", he admitted. "But just this one."
"Just this one", you echoed with amusement.
"However, you don't have to tell my son that, you hear me?"
"Of course I don't. It would be an absurd thing if he found out, after all, that his father has a slight fondness for his current profession", you chuckled.
Roman shook his head at your teasing. "I knew you were going to be trouble the moment he had introduced you to me."
"You mean like you knew our relationship wouldn't last?", you probed, a smirk on your lips.
"Precisely. With the difference that I have been mistaken about that", he said sincerely, then gently squeezed your shoulder, the look of a proud father in his eyes. "But I'm glad I was wrong. For one thing, you're being really good for him, and secondly, thanks to you, I will soon get to hold my son's child in my arms. In all honesty–", he took one deep breath and exhaled audibly, "I had already given up hope for that, for him."
"You and Alden have something in common there", you responded. "Believe it or not, I have to assure him everyday that I'm actually pregnant. As if nausea, mood swings, and my newfound fondness for meat somehow aren't evidence enough for him."
"Oh, that will change once you gain a few pounds more", Roman said confidently. "When my wife was pregnant the first time, you didn't actually see any changes in her belly until the sixth month. With all the pregnancies after that, it was apparent much earlier."
"Perfect, I can't wait for my back to complain some more", you said, the sarcasm audible in your voice.
"Wait 'til you get to my age, kiddo." Roman smirked amused.
"Can't wait for that either, pops", you answered while mirroring his smirk. You loved to call him that, ever since he had accepted you as his son's significant other. There were times, when he didn't let you call him by his first name, always reminding you, that he was 'Mr Parker' for you. But that was in the past, fortunately.
The two of you talked for a while until a young man interrupted your pleasant conversation. In his hands he held a tawny teddy bear with a pink and blue bow tied around it and a bouquet of flowers. "Are you Y/N L/N?"
You opened your mouth to answer his question affirmatively, yet not a single word left your lips. Your throat suddenly felt dry, almost constricted, and you felt the palms of your hands grow damp. 'Please, not again', you innerly pleaded to whatever entity was holding the strings guiding your life.
Roman knew about Parker's admirer and rubbed your arm soothingly before he answered the courier for you: "Is there a sender for these–gifts?"
"A woman asked me to deliver these", he explained, confusion written on his face. "Is–Is everything okay?"
"A woman?", you queried perplexed, ignoring his question. The realization that there finally seemed to be a clue to the stalker had you regaining your voice. It didn't even accure to you, that this package could've been sent by someone else. "You saw her? Talked to her?"
"Yeah, she put $50 in my hand for the delivery. There's a card here, too", he reached for the bow of the plush animal and undid the black envelope that was attached to it. "Here." He handed it to you. But before your obviously trembling fingers could even touch the paper, Roman had already snatched it away, of which you were almost grateful.
He took out the note and whilst his eyes absorbed every word, darkness washed over his face.
"What's wrong? What does it say?", you asked, your voice laced with concern.
"I think it's better if we call Alden. Let him take care of it", the old man replied, ignoring your question.
"Roman, please, tell me what it says." Pleadingly you looked at him, though you were unsure whether you really wanted to know.
He returned your gaze with a pitying expression on his face, hesitant to hand you the card. But when you asked him again, he complied sighing and handed it over to you. After all you were a grown woman, and the message was directed at you. Yet, he wished you wouldn't read it, assuming that it would only cause you stress which would neither be good for you nor your child.
It felt as if someone had taken away your breath and your free hand moved absentmindedly to your belly. Protective and at the same time comforting, you stroked the barely discernible bulge as you tried to process the written words:
'An angel in the book of life wrote down your baby's birth. And decided when she closed the book, it's too beautiful for earth.'
The lids of your eyes were twitching, your breathing was heavy. You could not find any words to describe your inner turmoil, dumbfounded by the cruelty of this woman. 'How could she threaten the life of an unborn baby?', flashed through your mind questioningly. At the appointment today, your gynaeocologist told you, your baby was fine, that you were fine. There was no way at this point that you would miscarry, yet the text indicated exactly this.
It wasn't until Roman handed you a handkerchief, while holding his cell phone to his ear with his other hand, that you realized you were crying. As if you had been in the throes of drowning, you took a long breath like you had just reached the surface of the water which seemed to be suffocating you. But the feeling of your lungs being filled with fresh air, didn't take away the heaviness that seemed to press down on your heart. Why did this happen to you? What had you done to deserve this torment?
"Alden will be here any minute. He also informs the police, since the rest of his team is busy with a case", explained Roman after he got off the phone, interrupting your trail of thoughts. He sat down beside you again and put an arm around you, pressing you comfortingly to his chest, before turning his attention to the young man who had been watching the whole scene in silence.
"Can you tell us what the woman looked like? Height, age, hair color–anything?"
"S-Sorry, she was wearing dark sunglasses and a very large summer hat. There was hardly anything distinguishable of her face and how tall she was, uh–", he paused and took a moment to think. "She was shorter than me, I guess?" It sounded more like a question than a statement, and Roman sighed.
"Where did you meet her? If there are cameras there, my son will have at least something to go with."
"Sure, I-I can take you there", the courier replied, looking consolingly at your fragile-looking and trembling figure. "If I'd known–"
"You couldn't have known, kid", Roman cut the younger man off. "Just show us, where you met that vile woman."
It didn't take long for the police to show up at the meeting point, and Parker arrived just a few minutes after them. Before he asked any questions he gave in to his first impulse and pulled you into a tight hug, his arms protectively wrapping around you. He buried his nose in your hair as he just held you for a moment, while you clung to him like he was a lifeline, saving you from drowning. Only when he realized that your body was no longer shaking did he loosen the embrace. Gently, he lifted your chin, to look into your eyes which were red and swollen from crying. There was nothing in his expression visible of the anger and hatred that had been building up inside him. Only concern and remorse was written on his face that you, his fiancée and mother of his unborn child, had once again become the target of the stalker, his stalker.
"I'm so sorry, honey", he said, his voice just a whisper. "When I get my hands on that son of a bi–"
"Daughter", you interrupted him, your voice sounding brittle like a fragile tea set made of porcelain.
"What?"
"Daughter of a you-know-what, is more accurate. This guy–", you made a head movement toward the young man and Parker followed the motion, "he met her. Even talked to her."
"Good, that's great", Parker murmured, looking back at you. He cupped your face with his hands, his rough thumbs gently stroking your flushed cheeks. "Are you alright? Should we call a doctor or have someone take you to the hospital? Just to be sure that really everything's okay?"
"I'm fine", you tried to assure him, but couldn't hold back your tears. "I just can't believe she would threaten our baby. Who does that? I–" Your voice broke, and you swallowed hard.
Parker breathed a long kiss on the top of your head before leaning his forehead against yours. "Don't worry, we'll find her. And I'll make sure she never comes anywhere near you again."
"You should have made sure of that weeks ago", Roman interjected harshly, rebuking his son with a look that showed he was partially blaming him for the current state of affairs. And Parker couldn't even be mad at him for that accusation, hence he already blamed himself for it.
Before he could say anything in reply, however, you had raised your voice: "Please, don't argue. The only one at fault is this, this–" You lightly bit your lower lip, thinking of a word to describe her.
"Bitch?", Parker tried to be helpful, but merely earned a light slap against his upper arm from you for that.
"Pssht–not in front of the baby", you explained, forgetting for a moment why you were upset. Even if your child's hearing wasn't fully developed yet, you wanted to reduce the swearing, so you wouldn't let a cursing word slip later from your mouth.
Parker snorted, amused and relieved altogether that you were able to think about something else. He wiped away your glistening tears, planting a chaste kiss on your forehead preparatory to releasing you from his protective, bodily warmth. "I'm going to have a talk with the colleagues from the MPD. If there are cameras here that we can access, then we might be able to find out where our Jane Doe went." He turned to his father. "Dad, would you take Y/N home and stay with her until I get there?"
"Of course, son", Roman answered.
"Could be getting late."
"I'm aware and I'll be with her. You go and make sure to catch that she-devil."
Parker nodded at that, grateful for his father being there for you. The two men didn't always get along and the next argument was usually pre-programmed, but one thing was certain: They could always rely on each other. Although Parker trusted his father with all his heart, he dispised leaving you alone, not being able to be physically there for you once again. But he knew you would never hold it against him, that you understood why he was often bestowing you with absence. He was also aware that he was a lucky man. Not every woman was willing to put up with his limited attention, especially when she was so young and had almost every door in this world opened for her like you. His green eyes didn't leave you for a single moment, and he continued to stare for a while at the intersection where your car had left a few minutes ago. It was one thing having someone or something threatening his own life, but when it involved his family he took it even more personal and serious than usual.
Late that night, Parker finally made it home after a long day at work. The lights were off, and the doors to the guest room and your bedroom were both slightly ajar. Quietly, he glanced into the room where his father was sleeping. The hint of a smile crept onto his lips, as he figured that Roman wanted the doors to be open, so that he would hear if there was anything wrong with you. Who would have thought that the old man would grew so fond of you, after he didn't believe that a young woman like you was sincere with her feelings towards his son? Parker had hoped for this outcome, yet never assumed it would actually happen. Not after Roman had told him at the beginning, to end the relationship with you so he could get back together with Vivian, his ex-wife. He was sure, his father did regret this recommendation now and was as happy as he was that his son didn't listen to him.
He closed the door cautiously, careful not to wake the older man, and then slipped quietly into your shared bedroom. Carefully removing his clothes, he threw over a plain T-shirt and slipped under the covers. He hadn't even positioned himself properly when you had already shifted closer to him, your body nestling against his.
"I'm sorry I woke you, honey", Parker apologised, wrapping an arm around you before he planted a kiss on your temple, his beard slightly scraching you; though, you loved that feeling.
"You didn't wake me", you mumbled sleepily as you buried your face in his chest, inhaling deeply his welcoming and comforting scent.
Parker's upper body vibrated as he laughed softly. "Yeah, I can tell the way you're being so chipper."
You ignored that mocking statement of his, taking another deep breath before you said: "You smell good."
"Didn't want to wake you, so I took a shower before I left the Navy Yard", he explained, caressing the back of your neck.
"I'm glad you're finally here", you admitted, a hint of sadness audible in your voice. "I've missed you."
"I know", he replied, and a sigh left his lips. It hurt him everytime, when you said these words out loud, feeling the hurt and loneliness in your voice. "I talked to Director Vance, and once we finally get rid of the obstacles, I'll be able to cut back a little at work and spend more time with you."
"That's nice", you murmured, smiling into his shirt and Parker knew he wouldn't have your attention much longer.
"Go to sleep now, honey. You and our baby need to rest. I'll be here when you wake up."
"Promise?" With half-closed eyes, you looked up at him, barely able to hold your head up.
"I promise", he affirmed with a smile. He had placed a hand under your chin, gently running his thumb over your bottom lip before kissing you softly. "I love you", he whispered, before you snuggled back against him.
"Love you more", you replied and with the feeling of his warmth, the knowledge that he was right beside you, you drifted back to sleep.
Parker stayed awake for a while longer, drawing little circles on your back with his fingers, while your breathing was slow and steady. Although he had been out all day, he and the MPD officers had not been able to make much progress on the 'Jane Doe' case. It made his stomach turn, when he saw the gifts you had recieved and found out the meaning behind them. The blue and pink bow, which looked like a butterfly - a sign of losing a child prior the knowledge of their gender. The bouquet of chrysanthemums, an indicator for death and grieving - especially in European countries. And then the card, which meaning behind those written words couldn't be more obvious. With the other hints he had earned throughout the past months, everything indicated that this woman was someone who knew you quite well. He would spend the rest of the night trying to come up with a plan to draw this stalker out of her reserve. He was willing to do anything to keep you safe, wanting nothing more than to bring this Jane Doe finally to justice and bring back peace to his family.
If you enjoyed reading it, please leave a heart and feel free to comment and reblog. If you didn’t enjoy, please consider giving me feedback, I’d appreciate it! ♥
pairing: juan cortez x reader [background clara x dani]
summary: after finally returning from isla santuario things look to be peaceful at the newly united libertad. however, when a dead drop calls- it causes you both to own up to unsaid feelings (i suck as summaries it’s legit just the dead drop mission remastered) *you’ll find a link with a photo that i took in game that appears in the fic*
note: am i finishing this after seven months? yes. did i go way overboard? absolutely. firstly i wanna say i’m happy to be back and i hope i’ll be able to write a little more now that time is freeing up. secondly, i feel like my writing style has changed drastically? i’m actually really happy with how this turned out but it will obvi feel very disjointed from the first two chapters (sorry ya’ll) but pls enjoy this one and i got so into writing it, there will be a forth chapter/epilogue where there’s actual content and not just a lot of yearning lol <3 also please not this one has a lot of angst and feels and i even tried writing from juan’s pov so idk how well that turned out but we’ll see how we go !
if juan sounds out of character here its bc 1) i make him soft, sue me and 2) i took a lot of inspo from the comics by ubi where he has a lot more trauma and so i tried to put that into canon/my fics version of the story so i hope it doesn’t sound that off for him :)
warnings: angst, canon typical violence, the reader gets like close to death and while its not very graphic the fic still has a heavy feel to it just like the dead drop mission. pls be careful and take care of yourselves <3
description: gender neutral reader | angst with a side of fluff | changing pov | 10,315 words |
Hello Hosea fans!! This ended up WAY longer than I expected, but I've had the main man on my mind and wanted to give him the attention he deserves. Enjoy! It's on ao3 if you prefer.
Summary: Your crush on Hosea renders you incapable of interacting with him. He takes offence and tries to get to the bottom of what your issue is.
Word count: 8,283
Content warnings: Smut, 18+
Hosea Matthews took pride in being a decent man. He’d made his mistakes throughout his life but he was conscientious enough to see, admit, and learn from them. It was something he’d practised with age, his current stature far away from the cocky outlaw he’d been in his youth.
He didn’t chastise himself for it, he’d seen it in all the men of the gang once upon a time. They too, some more than others, learnt and grew even if it was often in a misguided direction which he tried to correct. If he could do something good in this world, he could at least pass on the things he knew so that maybe those he thought highly of didn’t have to learn the hard way as he did.
The fruits of his labour blossomed in recent years; a whole orchard of his legacy as clear as day solely by the pedestal the gang put him on. He was the one who most approached for advice, he was the one they asked when they wanted to learn something new, and he was the one who could provide a new angle on situations and see things often overlooked by others. Yes, Hosea did not struggle to gain the trust of those around him.
However, it seemed his skills as an approachable wise old man (a description that took some time warming to) were being tested in the form of a new recruit to the gang.
Most newbies go down one of two paths; jump in head first and make the loudest impression they can, or quietly watch from the sidelines and allow their actions to speak for them. Except this one did neither, not really.
Honestly, you had him stumped.
You were easy-going and someone everyone appeared to like, joining in on the banter when the drinks flowed but not being afraid to make suggestions where necessary. But you didn’t force your personality on anyone, and the overall opinion of the members of camp was a positive one. Approachable. Friendly. Smart. Even self-assured.
It wasn’t that Hosea disagreed with these statements; it was just that he hadn’t had any chance to experience them himself. From afar, sure. He could see how one could describe you as all those things. But up close, when he tried to strike up a conversation – you had little or nothing to say other than the bare minimum for politeness.
It’d finally happened, he supposed. A decent character who simply didn’t like him all that much. It unnerved him, seeing you laugh along with others only to quieten down when he came over. Was it the authority he held? Was it his age? He couldn’t be sure, but if he couldn’t keep up his reputation, he would at least find out the reason behind it.
The wind was strong on that particular day. Strong enough that it whipped your face and blew your hair into disarray if you dared sit out in it for more than five minutes. So, when Tilly beckoned you into her tent with Karen and Mary-Beth, you didn’t hesitate in heading in and getting comfy beside them.
“You’re sure Grimshaw won’t mind?” you asked, righting your shirt that’d gone askew thanks to the blustery air.
“Grimshaw,” Karen elongated the word with distaste, “minds everything. I’d like to see her sew clothes when they’re being blown across the damn camp, though.”
“No,” Tilly interjected before you could respond, “she won’t mind. Ain’t no way we could work in this, and Grimshaw knows that.”
“Whatever you say,” Karen mumbled, pulling one of the folded blankets over herself.
“You think it’ll last long?” you asked, flicking your gaze upwards.
“Why, girl, you bored of us already?”
“No,” you snickered. “But we could do with a way to pass the time.”
The four of you took to thinking, and you thought maybe you could all sing a few songs –
“I know,” Mary-Beth smiled, highlighting the hint of blush on the apples of her cheeks. “We could share our recent... Fancies.”
“Oh, trust you to suggest romance,” Karen scoffed.
“Come on, it’s the perfect opportunity! Winds so strong our words will stay locked up in this tent, and certainly won’t travel to any unwanted ears.”
“Fine,” Karen acquiesced reluctantly. “Suppose I’ll start. Sean was asking me about this thing the other day, something like –”
“No,” Tilly stopped her flow before it could begin, “I heard enough of you and Sean to last me a lifetime.”
At Mary-Beth’s knowing chuckle, Karen rolled her eyes. “Well, then suit yourself. Actually, I’d like to hear if our newest friend has eyes for anyone.”
Three expectant gazes landed on you, and you straightened up at the sudden attention. You shrugged. “I don’t know, there isn’t really anyone who’s caught my eye.”
“Oh please,” Mary-Beth tutted. “Surely there’s someone you at least find attractive.”
Attractive? Sure. The camp had its fair share of attractive people, but you knew that wasn’t what they were asking, not really. But you were lying, someone had in fact caught your eye. Only it was someone they’d never expect.
It was more than just a pondering thought, too. It was the kind of attraction that made you forget your words, breathing cease, and limbs sit rigid and unnatural in their sockets.
If you were being honest, you’d surprised yourself too. Any of the young, handsome outlaws you’d interacted with would’ve been an understandable choice, that way you could reason why you were drawn to one more than the other. Perhaps you’d even have liked more than one of them, weighing up their various traits to describe the winner.
But none of them interested you at all.
Sure, you could appreciate their looks, their sense of humour, or their work ethic, but there wasn’t that feeling that turned your tummy over and rendered your thoughts entirely theirs. In turn, you’d found it easy to talk to them, not even considering the possibility of dating and so having nothing to be concerned about.
Unfortunately, you hadn’t been spared from the plight of having a crush. It almost made it worse that it was unexpected, you not having the slightest clue how to deal with it and feeling like nothing short of a blundering child every time you got to interact with him.
God damn Hosea Matthews.
You didn’t know what to make of it at first. When your mind went quiet the first time he spoke to you in that voice of his, you spent the rest of the day worrying you were coming down with something. It took a few days, until one evening when a bottle of whisky in hand ignited some more-than inappropriate thoughts about the man. Ever since, you couldn’t even look at him and expected this ridiculous feeling to go away in no time at all.
Alas, weeks passed and there you were; crushing on him more with every day. What were you mean to do? How could you go about something like that? Would it be as easy as initiating a drunken kiss or harmless flirting? This man was as smart as they come and likely much less reckless than the younger men, surely you couldn’t make such an immature advance on him.
You found ignoring him to be the easiest way to deal with it in the end. He scared you, not in an intimidating way but purely the fact that he knew so much whereas you knew so little. No, you supposed you weren’t scared of him; just scared of the fool you’d appear to be if you interacted with him. That wasn’t a problem provided you kept your distance.
It was getting concerning, though you stuck hard with the idea that it would go away at some point. Right?
You shrugged at the girls, concluding that the worse thing to do would be to admit it to them. “Sorry,” you laughed apologetically, “I hate to be such a bore.”
The girls soon forgot, the discussion turning to one of the others but you couldn’t keep your mind away from him.
―――
Thankfully, the wind died down some days later and allowed you to sit out with a book in the fresh afternoon air once your chores were finished.
Hosea saw his opportunity.
He walked over and stood to the side of you, though a pace behind so you didn’t see him in your peripheral right away. “Afternoon, miss. I need you for a job, if you wouldn’t mind accompanying me.”
Silence.
Hosea cleared his throat, watching your unchanged expression and posture for a moment. “Miss?” he asked, a little louder than before.
Your head rose from your book and towards him, brows pulling together in confusion. “Uh, me?”
“Yes,” he smiled easily, “you.”
Blinking owlishly at him, your nerves began to race your chest and you did your best job of not focusing on them. Why did he want you to go? This was all still new to you, you were far less capable than the other, more experienced girls. Perhaps it was a bit of practice? Unless you’d been slacking and he was subtly making you pull your weight? Either way, both options would mean Hosea would be exposed to you in close proximity alone and see your skills first-hand, providing you with ample opportunity to fuck up –
“Miss,” he half-sighed, reminding you he was expecting a response and you realised you’d remained still since he’d clarified. Even when not talking, apparently you could still make a fool of yourself.
“Sorry,” you said instinctively, attempting to relax your shoulders to diffuse the tension your body had accumulated. “Right now?”
“Well, yes,” he pulled out his pocket watch and flicked it open. “In about half an hour.”
“Can I ask what the job is?”
Hosea hid the concern from his smile, wondering why on earth you felt as though that wasn’t appropriate knowledge for you to know. “It’s just a bit of investigating, really. I don’t much fancy sitting alone in the saloon while I do so.”
Finally, he’d said the right thing, and that appeared to relax you somewhat. You could do that, right? A couple of hours, the option of a drink to calm your nerves, and just listen to whoever the mark was. A starter job for you to dip your feet in the choppy waters of a life of crime. “Sure,” you shrugged casually, and Hosea accepted that was the best he’d get out of you for now. He told you to meet him by the horses when it was time.
You weren’t proud of how much time you spent picking an outfit, acting like a teenager as though this man would even look twice at you. Wearing one of your favourite shirts and a simple skirt, you initially pinned some of your hair back but promptly returned it to its usual state at the worry that you were trying too hard. So, there you were half an hour later, mounting up on your horse and riding out with Hosea.
On the ride over to the saloon, he’d decided on letting you reach out to him. The more he pushed conversation the more he expected you’d stray from it, and in his experience, many people aren’t comfortable with silence and that can be enough of a motivation in itself for striking up a conversation. Not you, though.
It was your assumption that he was deep in thought, planning for the upcoming job and so you left him to his thoughts; not that you’d know what to say anyway.
There was still time, though, and he didn’t concern himself with it too much. Once the two of you arrived, you got seated at the bar and he bought a bottle of beer for each of you.
As he glanced around the room, it occurred to you that you didn’t have the slightest clue what this job was for and if anything was expected of you. You cleared your throat before quietly asking, “is there anything I’m supposed to do?”
“Just follow my lead,” he said, and you relaxed and tensed simultaneously, happy that he trusted you enough to need no preparation but worried that you’d prove that to not be the case. Something in his tone was enough for you to almost believe him and thus gain confidence in yourself, it was an odd feeling and you briefly puzzled over how he managed to put you at ease with only four words.
It wasn’t long before Hosea made you aware of the man when he entered, leaning up against the bar and that was when he started making conversation with you. Small talk, about the weather, how your horse was, what book you were reading, etc. It made sense, the pair of you could hardly sit there in silence and the knowledge that Hosea was listening more to the man behind him that to you made it much easier to talk to him.
Then Hosea turned, politely apologising that he couldn’t help but overhear the man and your heartrate quickened for a moment at the fear of your cover being blown. But the man was fine with it, engaging in conversation about some fancy repeaters he was selling and Hosea feigned his interest as a gun enthusiast. How he had so much knowledge you’d never know, and it was knowledge you’d never learn since you couldn’t focus on the conversation, instead observing and listening to Hosea as he spoke.
It was a marvel to see him in his element, and you watched on with adoration at his cool persona while his even cooler words gradually eased his victim and gained their trust. When the man turned away for you both to follow, offering to show him the merchandise, Hosea caught your eye and the slightest of smiles quirked over his mouth – enough of a response that didn’t suggest any suspicious motives had the man caught it. Hosea followed him and you followed a few paces behind, trying to squash your smile from growing further; this was rather fun.
You waited outside while the sky turned darker and Hosea went into the small homestead close to town. It was easier this way, you wouldn’t have to linger or stand there awkwardly while they spoke. A rather useless part in the operation if you did say so yourself, but if Hosea wanted anything more from you, he’d have made that known.
He was laughing and joking with the man when they came outside, clapping a hand on his shoulder and you smiled to yourself at how talented he was; it was like he was a different person entirely. You walked beside him once he’d said his goodbyes.
“Get what you need?” you asked.
Hosea nodded, promptly returning to his usual self and noticing how guarded you still were. “Indeed,” he said quietly, “should be a nice clean robbery for the boys.”
You didn’t need to ask more, not wanting to pry into business that didn’t concern you and sighed in relief internally at managing to not ruin anything now that it was over. “Back to camp now, then?”
“Why the rush? I say we go back to that saloon. Their whisky is rather good,” he responded promptly.
Goddamnit. “I suppose.”
Hosea’s smile hid his true feelings, bordering on frustration with your lackadaisical manner. He’d been nice enough, hadn’t he? What more did you want? He wasn’t a fan of resorting to drink to loosen someone's lips, it felt lazy and immoral, but you didn’t leave him with any other choice. The true goal of this job was still yet to be accomplished.
And so there you were, back at the bar and he’d ordered some shots of whiskey with the excuse of celebrating a successful recon. You went along with it, more small talk ensuing and you relaxed once again as the whisky began to take its desired effect.
Of course, Hosea noticed it. The way your brow softened and shoulders dropped to the way they were with seemingly everyone else but him soothed his growing concern with his plan. It was working.
As he was telling you a story, the atmosphere shifted. You were sure it was only felt by you, or perhaps it was the drink, but you began to think there was more to this than he was letting on. He’d specifically chosen you to come out on the job when truthfully you didn’t need to be here, he’d suggested getting a drink once it was finished, and he’d spent the last forty-five minutes asking you questions to get to know you, all the while listening with intent... did he want you? You observed him as he spoke, the way he seemed to be searching your face for something, the brief touches on your arm, and the faint sparkle in his eye.
He stopped mid-sentence, the change on your face distracting him since you’d gone from happy to concerned in a matter of seconds. “Is something the matter, miss?”
Of course. He’d never make a move on you, how could he? If it went wrong that was your trust gone, his image tarnished as the trustworthy leader. You had to be the one to do it, didn’t you?
It was easy, really. You didn’t think when you leaned in, pressing your lips to his and they were soft, and he smelled good -
Hosea pulled away, his hand hovering between your torsos to keep the distance with a confused look on his face. Oh god. Before you could speak, apologising for being such an idiot and more than ready to blame it on alcohol, he relaxed once again.
“Miss,” he said softly. “That isn’t how we do things here.”
You nodded profusely, of course it wasn’t, he was a grown man, charming, charismatic, smart, and you just threw yourself at his feet because he showed you a bit of kindness and interest. How ridiculous you must look. “I’m so sorry, I mustn't have been thinking -”
“Now,” he laughed, at ease and doing his best to keep the panic he saw growing in your eyes from manifesting, “don’t you apologise! I can see why you’d think that was the way of the gang, but truly it is not. You are here on merit alone, and I apologise if I have given any indication that more was expected of you.”
The gang? Merit? Expected? What? Perhaps the drink was a good enough excuse, nothing made sense anymore and you frowned at him. “I -” you started, unsure of how to proceed but the alcohol thinned out your filter for the questions that were on your mind. “I don’t know what the gang has to do with it. I - there are... others, right?”
Now it was Hosea’s turn to be confused. Other what? Were the other girls performing the task of pleasing the men and told you that was the norm? This was getting more serious, that was something he certainly wouldn’t tolerate. “Do you have an example of who?”
“Well, there’s John and Abigail, of course, then Karen with Sean, though I know they’re not -”
The cogs clicked into place, though Hosea still couldn’t make sense of what he thought he was hearing. “Hold on,” he said, placing his hand over yours that rested on the bar and you looked at it for a moment, how nice your hands looked together along with how gentle his touch was. “You... actually want this?”
Hosea dipped his chin, hazel eyes piercing yours and you worked on a swallow. If nothing else had made sense tonight, his touch and gaze more than made up for it. Now that felt right. You didn’t have it in you to lie and you surrendered, offering him a nod in the hope that he would figure out what was going on.
A brief flash of shock washed over him but a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips. He was honoured, and suddenly your behaviour made sense. Now he knew, not that he’d ever have figured it out without the push, it was blindingly obvious. The way you always seemed to be looking away from him, growing more nervous with every step he made closer to you, and clamming up whenever he made conversation. It was a crush, simple as that.
A crush on him, no less. It’d been a while since he’d had to identify one of those aimed his way, but he wasn’t about to let it slip away in a hurry. To top it off, it came from you. He’d thought you beautiful when you joined up, he wasn’t about to deny that, and while he hadn’t had much experience with you, he’d soon grown fond of watching you from a distance.
“I’m flattered,” he began with, searching his mind for how to court a woman and the expectant and worried look in your eye almost made him melt. How sweet. He inched closer, fondly tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and suppressing his laugh at how seemed to get even more nervous. As amusing as it was, he didn’t want you to feel that way. “Taken aback, sure. A pretty young thing like you takin’ an interest in an old conman? It’s almost comical.”
You expected it much less than he did, but god both of his hands were on you and he actually looked happy, so you started to laugh. He was right, it was comical but no less true. “Perhaps it is.”
Every inch of Hosea’s face relaxed fondly, your laugh ringing angelically in his ear and there was only one thing he wanted to do now. He leaned in once again but promptly stopped himself, watching your expression grow concerned once more. “I think I’d prefer to do this in a more private setting.”
Reminding yourself not to be too uncool, you nodded calmly in agreement.
“There’s a hotel nearby, we could get to know each other there?” he caught himself quickly, realising how this must all sound. “Not - not like that. Just, whatever you're comfortable with.”
You’d done it. You’d made Hosea Matthews nervous. It seemed like an impossible feat, but he looked positively boyish with that apprehension in his eye and it was downright cute. You might not have his quick way with words, but you clearly had something. You slipped your hand into his, and pushed off the bar, smirking at him and following you out those doors was one of the easiest things he’d ever done.
For all that boost of confidence was, it didn’t want to stick around. Your nerves made themselves known once again as Hosea opened the small room to the homely hotel, but you grasped to them desperately as you walked through the door he held open for you. It clicked shut, and you turned; you were really alone in a hotel room with him.
He was hesitant, restricting himself as though he wasn’t entirely trusting in your desire to be with him. It made you want him even more though, walking the dark alleys of your mind where you wondered what he was like when he didn’t hinder himself. Unfiltered, unbounded Hosea was something you’d been longing to see. You’d waited long enough, anyway.
Hosea was about to say something, make conversation and get to know you when you took a step forward and met his lips once more as though it’d been the only thought in your head since you practically skipped out of the saloon.
His lips were delightfully soft, whisky residue sitting nicely on the plush flesh and it was addicting. You ran your hands around his lean waist until your frame pressed into his.
This truly hadn’t been Hosea’s intention with getting the room, he was a gentleman after all, but you were stealing away all his logical thoughts. Besides, he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth and gladly returned your affections.
Attempting to keep it slow, for now, you repeatedly kissed each other and once again you guessed he would only do what you were comfortable with. Well, screw that. In your fantasies, he’d taken control and taken what he wanted, while still keeping that desire to feed your pleasure, and you supposed it was down to you to let him know you were okay with it. You didn’t know if this would ever even happen again, but it wasn’t in your jurisdiction to question it. You gently grazed his bottom lip, pulling it between your two rows of teeth and Hosea’s breath stilled in his chest.
He broke the contact, brow narrowing with the tilt of his head as though he was looking at you in a completely new light. A warmth grew in his eyes that you’d never seen before, one not borne from adoration – but lust. He moved his head forward, his lips stopping an inch from your ear until his shallow breaths landed on your skin. It didn’t make you shiver, but his following words that were laced with a dark undertone certainly did.
“I didn’t have you down as such a troublemaker.”
You gulped, an involuntary gasp leaving you as a hand snaked to your flank, gripping you with a firmness you wouldn’t have expected from him, and you looked at him all doe-eyed when he moved his head back to catch your gaze.
“What’s the matter, dearest?” your heart thumped at the sound of the endearment as it purred through his lips, “going all quiet on me, now?”
After a beat in your almost-paralysed state of mind and body, you realised he’d asked you a question and you nodded dumbly. How quickly he’d turned that round, immediately showing you who was in charge and promptly reminding you of the fact. More than anything you wished you could match his silken words, but even you knew better than to try and then subsequently ruin the mood. This was what you’d thought about for weeks, fantasising about his voice in your ear and his hands on your body while your fingers slipped between your wanting folds. He smirked, a brash confidence radiating from him that contrasted the gentle kiss he proceeded to place on your cheekbone.
“That just won’t do,” he murmured against your skin, giving up his fight against his desires. “But the night is young. Plenty of time for me to wrench some noises out of you, yet.”
Your next breath was a quiet whimper, your eyes falling shut as goosebumps grew all over your body. Now it all made sense, this man didn’t just know the right words to say, but he knew exactly how and when to say them. No wonder he’d conned so many people of their precious valuables and cash in his time, you were about ready to turn out your pockets and give him everything you owned.
With your eyes closed, you couldn’t see him pressing his lips together to compose himself at the sight of you unravelling before him. He liked what he saw and what he heard, so Hosea decided he’d be greedy for once. He wanted more. “Hm, yes. That’s what I’m looking for.”
Fluttering your eyes open, you noticed the widening of his pupils as his desire grew from within. “Hosea,” you breathed.
“Hm?” he asked casually, though inside he was thinking of how his name sounded coming out of your mouth like that, more magnificent than any grand symphony.
You just waited for more, and he smiled proudly.
“Tell me what the matter is,” he brushed a hand over your hair and you couldn’t pick out whether he was teasing or comforting you.
“God,” you started, arousal taking over your thoughts, “I want you. I really want you.”
Hosea hadn’t expected you to be quite so bold, but he couldn’t ignore your signs any longer. You’d shown him and told him, and the only thing you seemed to be drunk on was lust. It’d be almost rude of him to turn away your advances. “Very well, then.”
The hand placed loving on your head pulled your face to his, and he kissed you far unlike the way he’d kissed you previously. His lips led yours, firm and unyielding as they moved. You melted into it, glad for his other hand on your form to hold you upright. Sufficiently happy with your pliancy, the hand on your head trailed down your back, urging you even closer until he rested a palm on your behind, not hesitating in squeezing the soft flesh. You gasped, and he took the opportunity of your open mouth to slide his tongue inside.
You promptly mobilised, allowing him in and circling your tongue around his, the taste of his spit something you’d been wanting to indulge in for a while. A faint hint of peppermint passed over once you’d soaked up any leftover taste of whisky he had to offer, and you brought your hands to his chest to grip at the fabric of his waistcoat. A wanting sound left him and his tongue retreated, pressing his forehead to yours while you both caught your breaths.
Breathing wasn’t something you cared for right now, though you reminded yourself not to rush this, but he was right there and you innocently shifted your stance, brushing your thigh against his crotch and oh -
He shook his head at you minimally, pulling away to get a look at the inquisitive desire that’d taken over your features. “One thing you should know,” he stated. “I take my time with my work.”
“So, I’m work now?”
Hosea’s face softened with a fond smile and he chuckled. “A piece of work,” he mused, “yes. That’s exactly what I think you are.”
You huffed, unaware of your natural growing confidence and comfort with the man in such a short space of time. His hands found your hips, and you thought he was pushing you away until your thighs met the side of the bed and you obediently sat, putting you at a rather nice height and you took full advantage to look at his cock straining through his pants.
A chuckle from above preluded Hosea nudging your legs apart with his foot against yours and you shifted back as he leaned down, his knee planted between your thighs while his other remained on the floor. One hand made its way up your body, expertly avoiding your breast and stopping to grip your chin. He studied you, endless possibilities playing out in his head and it excited him profusely. It was tough to decide on where to start with your waiting body beneath him, but his first goal was to make you come. He needed to know what you sounded like when you released, what you looked like, and most importantly – what you tasted like.
The kiss he placed on your nose was far sweeter than anything else he planned to do to you that night. Then he glanced down, disappointed that you were still clothed, an inconvenient barrier, and you noticed the look grow on his face.
“Everything alright?” you asked timidly, hoping you hadn’t come across too strong or he’d begun to regret pursuing this.
“No,” he said shortly and you pouted. “You’re wearing too many clothes for my liking.”
“Oh,” you smirked, fingers reaching to the buttons on your shirt but he stopped the path by holding your wrists.
“Ah, ah. This is a present I didn’t expect to be opening tonight, and if it’s quite alright with you I’d like to unwrap it myself.”
You blushed, quickly moving your hands away and the pleased, hungry look in his eye made something burn deep in your core as he drank in the sight of you.
Those hands of his were something you’d thought about many times, wondering exactly what other talents his slender fingers were capable of. They made light work of your buttons, your shirt opening to slip to the sides and reveal your breasts to him.
Hosea sighed painfully, his cock twitching in delight at seeing you exposed. “Lord above,” he hummed, conceding that God must exist – how else was something as heavenly as you created? He ran his palm to the underside of one of your breasts, gently kneading it and wanting nothing more than to experience them in all their glory. He moved down an inch and then hesitated, flicking his gaze up to your anticipation-filled expression. “This alright?”
The soft tone counteracted the dark one that’d otherwise taken over his voice, and it was a comfort to know that your enjoyment and happiness were still his top priority. Your nod in response was urgent, rolling your shoulders back into the mattress in a futile attempt to get him closer to your sensitive spot and he couldn’t resist cracking a smile.
“Alright girl,” he chuckled, “I’ve got you.”
With that, his mouth came down onto your nipple, sucking it gently into his mouth and you groaned at the warm wetness on your skin, small jolts of pleasure shooting through you each time he sucked in. His mouth came off and his tongue took over while his other hand fondled your left-out nipple, squeezing and rolling it between his fingers. He ran his tongue around your areola a few times before short flicks of his tongue greeted your bud, now hard and straining to maximise the sensation.
After kissing the flesh of your breast, he moved over to the other side and nuzzled the inner side of it with his nose. A peck on your nipple followed before he sucked that one in, and you expected his fingers to move over to the other side but instead, they trailed downwards, the back of his knuckles softly grazing over your centre.
You whined low in your throat, watching him indulge with closed eyes while continuing to tease you down below. When you rolled your hips into his touch he met your gaze, the sight of you wanting and desperate almost enough to make him finish in his pants right there and then. He held off, unsure exactly how far this would go but knowing he had no plans of ending it any time soon.
“You can,” you took a breath, “unwrap those too if you’d like.”
A breath of a laugh came from his nose as he planted kisses over your breasts before stopping between them. “It’d be my pleasure.”
“Trust me, pleasures all mine,” you responded dreamily and that smile of his made another appearance and he tilted his head at you.
At your quizzical brow, he placed a kiss on your sternum before resting his chin there. “You’re funny,” he complimented adoringly.
You tutted, rolling your hips into his now-still hand and he nodded his recollection of his previous ministrations.
“My apologies,” he hummed, chaste kisses placed in a neat line down your stomach and you admired his multi-tasking ability while he swiftly undid your skirt.
He moved off you to stand and you willingly lifted your hips for him to pull the rest of your clothing off. You were half-tempted to question why he was still fully clothed, but having someone so infatuated with you was a dream you didn’t want to interrupt. Plus, there’d be time for that yet if it was something he was comfortable with.
Speaking of, you realised the view you'd presented to him and he raised his brows while looking lovingly between your thighs, and you instinctively closed them out of embarrassment but he brought a hand to your knee to part them once again, his gaze not leaving your flushed cunt. “So pretty. Why would you want to hide something so pretty?”
You pressed your lips together, basking in the shower of affection that felt so natural coming from him. Like he meant every word, and he wasn’t just trying to make you feel good about yourself so he could have his way.
“Come on, now,” he stroked his hand up your thigh while kneeling on the floor and the image of his face between your legs was instantly burned into your memory as one of the most delightful sights you’d ever seen. “Where’s that wily minx from earlier? This right here -” he gazed back at your most private part, “is one of the most wonderful things on this planet.”
As you sighed gratefully, he brought his index finger into his mouth though you didn’t think it was necessary with how drenched you were. His spit grew cool fast, and you jolted slightly when it met the top of your slit, tracing a line down while he watched the pleasure blossom on your face, peaking when he brushed over your clit and you whined. He smiled to himself. “What a perfect sight.”
Your head that’d dropped back tilted up in time to catch his fond expression before he dropped his attention to what you presented to him. He watched the tip of his finger as it slowly manoeuvred around your entrance to collect your slick, and while he was tempted to lick it off, he held back and decided he’d rather taste you directly from the source.
Hosea watched intently as his finger entered you, appreciating the flutter of your walls as he pushed in up to the knuckle and gently slid back out. At no resistance from you, quite the opposite, in fact, he repeated the motion again, then a third time until his finger was completely sheathed inside you. The thought of him filling you further fleeted over your mind and you moaned softly at the teasing sensation.
“More, Hosea, please,” you begged politely and he allowed himself a last look at the tight expression on your face before moving forward, simultaneously pushing a second finger inside and licking a long stripe up your slit.
A gasp of pleasure accompanied your back arching off the bed, and the temptation to touch himself grew tough to ignore, but he managed. He ran his tongue between your soaked folds while he slowly moved his fingers in and out of your entrance. Twisting them around slightly to ensure you were stretched, should the need for that arise, he revelled in the taste of your pussy that ground up into his mouth. You tasted delightful and he began lapping at your clit, making your toes curl while pleas of his name spilled out of your mouth.
Your dreams and dirty thoughts had done him no favours, this was far better than you imagined and a brief amusement passed over you at the thought of how silver that tongue really was. It proceeded to lick up all the juice you had to offer until Hosea grew greedy and wanted more. He wanted you to come in his mouth, on his fingers and he sucked on your clit, the sensation buzzing through your body as he did a pulsing motion with his lips. Continuing to fuck you with his fingers, you didn’t know which way to move your hips since every direction provided more pleasure, and it built up and you weakly tried to warn him, panting “I’m -” until your breathing paused while your body released over him, thighs tensing around his head and Hosea mused that he could quite happily suffocate here between your thighs.
It felt like it lasted a small eternity, the orgasm flowing out of you in waves as Hosea helped coax it, and you finally relaxed back onto the bed, blinking up at the ceiling at the stars that peppered your vision.
“Goddamn delicious,” you heard Hosea say, not having it in you to respond or even laugh, but you felt his fingers leave you and he crawled up your body.
“Happy?”
“I’m past happy, Hosea. I’m -” you didn’t know what to say, how to describe what you were feeling and you willed him up with your hands gripping his collar so you could kiss him lazily. The taste of yourself on his tongue was enough to ramp you up again but he moved to roll off you. “Where are you going?”
“We don’t need to rush,” he soothed, thumb stroking your stomach.
“But -” you protested, you wanted more and you wanted to feel him. “I want to.”
“Really?” he asked in disbelief. “You don’t need to, dear. I’m happy to wait.”
“Do you want to?” you asked and he laughed, clearly just not trying to pressure you. Plus, his hard cock pressing into your leg was a dead giveaway. “Okay, because I really want to. I need to. I might die if we don’t.”
He barked a laugh, taking your hand in his and kissing at your knuckles, the sheen of your slick passing over to your skin. “No, you won’t die.”
“I will,” you insisted.
“Well,” he shifted to stand between your draped legs hanging off the bed, his hands starting to undo his belt to pull it free and to the floor. The action of him smirking down at you while he did so was enough to drive you insane. “We don’t want that now, do we.”
With that, he pushed his pants down and put a hand on either side of your hips and pulled you towards him, his cock springing up and just inches away from where you needed it. His calloused palms ran up to your knees, gently spreading them while you stared at his cock in disbelief that you were actually seeing it and once again your imagination had failed you.
“Like what you see?” he teased, puffing his chest out slightly in pride.
“Mhm,” you hummed, wishing you could describe him the way he’d described you but you didn’t think they’d invented those words yet. After realising you were in somewhat of an infatuated trance, you sat up and met his gaze, eyes blown wide with lust but still a promise of trust held in them. “This is – indescribable.”
“I’ll take that,” he laughed softly, petting your head and you went to kiss his chest but were met with the fabric of his waistcoat.
“Can I take this off?” you asked, fingertips fiddling with a button in anticipation.
“If you’d like.”
“I would like,” you said decidedly, half of his buttons already undone and you glanced up in questioning when you reached his shirt, making quick work of that too and marvelling at the exposed lean chest presented to you, dusted with light hairs and faint scars.
Hosea shrugged off the garments and your eyes darted over his form, more beautiful than you’d pictured but your attention was soon grabbed by the leaking head of his cock. You debated putting your mouth around it, but with how insistently it stood to attention, you shifted back, patting the bed for him to join you.
He didn’t question it, accommodating your request and you gently manoeuvred his shoulders to persuade him to lie back, not missing the excited glint in his eyes as you straddled him. With his cock sitting comfortably on his abdomen, you rolled your hips over it and coated him with your abundance of wetness. He groaned in bliss, head dropping back to the pillow and hands harshly gripping your thighs to anchor himself. He suspected it would do no good since he was grounding himself to a real-life angel that would only send him further up into the clouds. He didn’t care, either.
The pressure of his shaft against your sensitive clit caused your walls to throb with need, your whole body begging to be filled by what Hosea had to offer. Your palms met the back of his hands, brushing up his forearms and to his shoulders until you could plant your hands on either side of his head. “Shit,” he whispered, lost in a haze of desire and the sight of your face above him, eyes filled with want and lips still plump from earlier while your hair fell down towards him was enough to bring a grown man to his knees, and he thanked the stars he was already laying down. He cupped your jaw and you leaned into it before moving your face to his and kissing his lips.
Hosea kissed you back, soft and tender as he reached a hand between your torsos to find his cock and you met him halfway for his tip to press against your entrance. The kiss broke and the two of you gazed at each other, both wanting to watch the reaction of him finally being inside you. But you both missed it, pure bliss taking over as he pushed in and you had to close your eyes at the delightful stretch. He did too, your walls constricting his length knocking the air clean from his lungs.
The pair of you stilled, once your crotch nestled into his hips, getting used to the feel of each other and committing every sensation to memory. You reopened your eyes to find his still shut as he dragged his mind away from thinking of how good it felt to avoid finishing prematurely. After planting a kiss on each cheek, he hummed in response and met your gaze.
“You feel perfect,” he remarked, hand brushing up your flank, “you are perfect.”
You shook your head, kissing his lips again. “You are.”
He shunted a laugh, deciding now might be the worse time to argue over such a thing. You silently agreed and moved your hips to drag yourself back off his length. His hips twitched while he released a pleasured sigh, and you promptly lowered again to commence your motion of fucking down onto him.
With each roll of your hips, your orgasm climbed back up and you enjoyed altering the pace and feeling him in every possible way. The man himself panted beneath you, fingers now weak where they rested on your hips instead of gripping at the flesh, informing you that whatever you doing was just what he wanted.
“That’s it, that’s it sweetheart,” he praised, and as was the case in normal society, Hosea’s praise was expertly timed to ensure maximum effect and meaning. Seeking his approval was something everyone did, even if it was subconscious, and that was no less the case when in the bedroom.
His forehead shone with a layer of sweat; brows pulled together in concentration as he watched his cock disappear into you every time your hips came down.
The plush spot inside your walls grew, you realised as the head of Hosea’s cock brushing over it with each thrust become more of a heightened sensation. Your limbs grew weak and you sat back, Hosea taking note of your response and deciding it was his turn to make the effort. He fucked up into you, reaching deep within your walls and hitting that spot harder each time. You whined, desperately finding something to cling to and with your head dropped back one of his hands slipped into yours. You squeezed as your abdomen tensed, doing a good job of hovering above him to provide room enough for him to thrust upwards. Your cunt clenched around him, bringing a hand to fondle your breast and Hosea watched the show intently, eyes watering with the effort it took not to come at the sight. But you were close, your high-pitched moans told him that much and briefly hoped the room next door wasn’t occupied.
Your legs tensed and you dropped your head forward, hands splayed on Hosea’s chest as your fingernails dug into his skin, one last thrust from him was all it took for the band in you to snap and you let out a silent moan in relief, no more energy available for anything other than coming right on his cock.
Hosea bit his tongue, waiting until you’d taken a couple of breaths and pulled out. Even in your haze, you know what this meant and you gripped your hand around his cock, soon feeling warm spurts rope across your chest and stomach while a choked-out whimper came from the man underneath you.
Both of you spend a moment suspended before returning to your bodies, and in your exhaustion, you wavered forward slightly but stopped yourself with a hand on the bed. Hosea caught your gaze, a fucked-out expression on his face and pulled you in to lay on his chest. Neither of you cared much about the mix of spend between you, and you lay your head on his chest to hear the thumping of his heart start to return to rest.
He drew light circles on the small of your back, a gentle breath skimming your shoulder with each out-breath he took, each one quieter than the last.
A small piece of clarity returned to you, and the stark realisation of what any of this could mean. What would it be like to date someone in the gang - Hosea, no less? Would you even be dating him, or was this a one-time thing? “Hosea,” you began, sitting up and finding him looking back at you like he was waiting for you to say something. He shook his head, holding your forearms in each hand and tugging you back down to him once again. You obliged, the reminder that you’re safe in his arms being more than enough for you to relax.
“Shh,” Hosea soothed you, brushing his hand down your back. “We can leave all that for the morning. Unless you want to go back to camp now?”
You shook your head fervently. “No, I -”
“Good,” he interrupted with a smug smile. “For now, I just want you to stay here and lay with me.”
